Fear the Wolf

by S. J. Sparrows

  I tried to fight off the self-hatred—the voice that said I could have stopped the attack from ever happening, that I could have saved dozens of lives, and that I should have known better. Surprising myself, I screamed suddenly to silence the judgments. My skin, even my bones, seemed to wriggle with the anger coursing through my body. I stopped and took a deep breath. To have any chance of slaying the Wolf, I needed to have more control over myself.

  The massacre wasn’t my fault.

  I couldn’t have predicted when the Wolf would strike, and I still wasn’t sure why she had, either. But I had needed that respite in the village. After everything I’d known was taken away from me, I had to find myself and heal—inside. The Wolf made her own choices. And in the moment of the attack, I made mine: I did the best I could to defend the people I loved. That was all that mattered to me.

  Feeling more calm and focused than before, I started moving again.

  During our journey through the forest, Illus had said the Wolf’s lair lay not far beyond the village. Hopefully, all I needed to do was follow this trail. It made sense that the beast would return to her hiding place now, especially if she or any of her creatures had been wounded during the attack.

  “Senla!” shouted a voice I knew. It came from behind, quiet and distant. “Senla, can you hear me?”

  I kept marching without looking back. Perhaps if I stayed quiet and moved fast enough, she wouldn’t catch up. Or maybe she hadn’t seen me yet. Would she give up searching for me if I managed to stay out of sight? Oh, please give up. This isn’t what I wanted.

  But soon her footsteps crunched closer. “Senla, wait. Senla!”

  “Don’t follow me, Neverdark,” I said, trying to remove all emotion from my voice.

  “Why? Where are you going?”

  I said nothing, still refusing to look behind myself. How had she found me?

  “Senla, what are you doing? This part of the forest is dangerous.”

  “Just leave. I don’t want to be around you right now.”

  “You’re lying.”

  Biting down on my lips, I chose not to reply again. I hoped my silence would convince her to give up.

  “Don’t talk to me if you don’t wanna,” said Neverdark. “I’m not leaving.”

  I groaned and walked faster. The trail had thinned a little, where it appeared some of the wolflings had gone off in other directions. I tried not to lose hope. As long as I followed the giant paw prints and tangles of white fur snagged on branches, I was on the right path.

  “Ooo,” Neverdark went on, changing her tone to sound less serious. “I think I quite like this silent, determined you. So moody. So mysterious. So … attractive.”

  I ignored her bait.

  Changing tactic, Neverdark said, “Okay. You remember I’m a nomad? I’m used to traveling. I could follow you like this all day.”

  I felt a pang in my chest, and my body grew heavier. With a sigh, I said, “Please don’t follow me. I mean it, Neverdark.” I glanced over my shoulder, catching a glimpse of her, but I couldn’t look her in the eye. Not now.

  “Why?”

  “Because enough people have died already.”

  “Wait … are you …?” Realization softened Neverdark’s voice, making it light and breathy. “Are you trying to go after the Wolf?”

  “I’m not trying to,” I said defensively.

  Neverdark grabbed my forearm and spun me around. “Senla, no. This is stupid. You don’t stand a chance.”

  I stared at her feet so I wouldn’t have to see her face. “I don’t care. I can’t let her kill anyone else.”

  “She’ll kill you if you go after her.” Neverdark reached her fingers under my chin and pushed my head up. I tried to avoid her eyes, looking left, right, up, down, and around, until I had nowhere else to look.

  “Look at me, Senla,” she said, and I did.

  The moment our eyes met, a warm rush swept over me. My eyes burned at the edges, and all I could think of was Reni—how Reni had been killed after trying to follow me into the forest.

  “How did you find me?” I asked, my voice trembling.

  Neverdark pointed at the bow over her shoulder. “I was hunting. I heard wolflings in the distance, but I’ve never heard them all howl together like that before. Not that many at once. I was really far from the village, but I ran. I thought you might be in danger. When I got closer, I heard people all screaming. Shouting. Dying. But by the time I reached the village, the wolflings were gone. I couldn’t help or do anything.” She shrugged and glanced away, frowning.

  “There was nothing you could have done,” I said. “It happened so fast.”

  Neverdark smiled but only one side of her mouth lifted. “I tried to ask where you were, but those guardians you have wouldn’t let me in. Then some other people started to notice me.” She huffed and rolled her eyes. “As you can imagine, a nomad like me is the last kinda person they wanted to see after what just happened. They started pointing at me, shouting and stuff. Then this other guardian came. She pointed this way, at the forest, and said you’d left, but she wouldn’t tell me why you’d left.”

  Kuna, I thought. Neverdark must have missed me by only a moment.

  “Senla, I didn’t think you were crazy enough to go looking for the Wolf. I came to find you, because … well, I thought maybe you realized now that you’re better off living with me and my clan. Staying in one place is stupid. It’s dangerous. I’m not just saying that because of the Wolf. Any pack of animals, or other people, can come find’ya and kill’ya if you’re stupid enough to stay still.”

  I shook my head. “You shouldn’t have followed me.”

  “Why not?” Neverdark let go of me and stepped back. “You said you’d make a decision.”

  “I was never going to go with you,” I said, adding a cold edge to my voice.

  Neverdark flinched. For the shortest moment, I saw a wide-open vulnerability in her eyes that I had never seen before.

  Ashamed, I hastened to add, “I was always going to leave. The Wolf killed almost everyone I knew. And now she’s ruined more lives. I … I didn’t want to put you in danger, so I never told you.”

  Neverdark’s mouth pulled down at the sides. She swallowed audibly. “You were going to leave without telling me?”

  “The Wolf needs to die.” I tried to ignore the sad ache in my heart as I fixed Neverdark with a firm stare. Treating her this way hurt me more than I could admit. But I almost wished I had broken her heart already, so that she’d turn and leave, so she’d be safe—so she’d live.

  But Neverdark was stronger than that. She asked, “You have to do this?”

  I nodded.

  The nomad appeared to think seriously for about ten seconds, then said, “I’m coming with you.”

  “No. Neverdark—”

  “I’m coming, so please close those lovely lips of yours, would you?”

  I did as commanded. Neverdark leaned in and kissed me. Just a peck, but it sent hot chills down to my toes.

  When she pulled away, she was back to her usual confident self. With a shrug, she said, “I’ve killed plenty of wolflings before. Bloody nuisances. But us nomads have never bothered with the big white Wolfie. I know roughly where her humble cave-home-underground-thing supposedly is, because we stay away from that area.” She glanced in the direction I’d been heading. “It’s not too far from here. A few hours’ walk.”

  Before going ahead, I needed to give her one last chance. “Are you sure you want to come with me?” When I thought of accidentally getting Neverdark killed on my quest for revenge, I felt as if someone had split my body in two with a giant ax and then ripped my heart out to stamp on it.

  Neverdark grinned. “Couldn’t think of anything better to do on a nice sunny morning after getting shouted at by a bunch of angry, frightened village folk. And anyhow … we stand a better chance of killing the Wolf together. Don’t you think?”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but something startled me. A
small animal burst from the bushes. It scurried toward Neverdark, climbed up her back, and perched on her shoulder.

  “Nosy,” I said, then sighed. I rubbed under her chin until she purred.

  Neverdark pulled an unimpressed face, her mouth and eyebrows set in hard, flat lines. “Oh, yeah, she comes hunting with me sometimes. I’ve been feeding her, looking out for her like you asked me to. Now the little beast won’t stop following me.”

  “You’re starting to like her, aren’t you?”

  The nomad shook her head emphatically. She twitched and tried not to laugh as the bushcat’s fur brushed her neck.

  “Yep,” I said to myself, turning around to lead the way. “You’re starting to like her.”

  Although I felt less lonely to have Neverdark and Nosy with me, I now feared for both their lives. I thought hard as we trampled through the undergrowth. If I could find a way to lose Neverdark and Nosy, to leave them behind for their own safety, then I would take it.

  53

  I stopped marching and bent over, panting in my sweat-soaked tunic. As we’d pushed deeper into the wildwood, the sun had gradually climbed higher until it bore down on the forest from directly above. Shafts of light cut through the treetops, turning the air hot and humid all around me. Where there was supposed to be shade, the ground shone luminous green instead. Not even the leaves could hold back the sun.

  “Maybe we should stop, Senla,” said Neverdark. “Get some rest.”

  “No.” I pushed up from my knees, then sucked in a long breath. “We must be close now.”

  The trail had become harder and harder to follow, but then it led us to a giant hollow through the trees. The passageway was wide and circular, as if the enormous Wolf had traveled this path often, trampling the bushes and toppling the trees until everything except for stubborn weeds refused to grow. Above us, the branches still stretched across to meet in the middle, each leaf-laden limb greedy for more sunlight.

  I stumbled on, and Neverdark followed with Nosy resting on her shoulder. We pushed on like this, me desperate to discover the Wolf’s lair, and Neverdark occasionally trying to convince me to turn back, until the strangest thing happened.

  The forest dimmed. Instantly a chill swept through the hollow. I looked up, peering through the tangled canopy. Grey clouds had spread over the sky. Never had I experienced such a fast change in weather.

  I sighed, delighting in the cool breeze. But something felt wrong. A shudder ran up my back, reaching the top of my spine and sending a shiver across my scalp.

  I stopped again and gestured for Neverdark to do the same.

  I listened to the quiet. It was too quiet. No birds singing. No little creatures rustling in the bushes. Even the pleasant breeze failed to make a sound. Everything was still—for a moment.

  In the distance, something moved. I strained to see through the sudden low light. Then, off to another side, a dark shape slipped between the black boles of far-off trees. A rumbling growl broke the silence.

  “I told you we were close,” I said. “Run!”

  As we flew down the path, the shadowy shapes grew closer, grew larger. A swishing sound passed my ear. Recoiling at the burst of air, I watched as one of Neverdark’s arrows found a clear route through the trees before burying itself into a distant wolfling. The beast yelped and hit the ground. The short cry came quietly, at least a hundred strides away.

  “Impressive,” I said. My voice wobbled from the impact of my feet slapping the ground.

  For once, Neverdark had nothing to say, she was so focused.

  She let more arrows fly. One wolfling after another dropped until the forest floor was dotted with dark mounds where dead wolflings lay. We had no time to stop or retrieve the arrows. Neverdark’s aim at a distance was so good it would take us too long to fetch them. On top of that, there seemed no end to the onslaught of wolflings.

  When I looked back, I saw that Nosy had been knocked from her favorite position on Neverdark’s shoulder and was now scurrying behind us. Her massive eyes became larger in fear, and the end of her pink tongue flapped up and down as she ran.

  A deep snarl made me look ahead again, but I struggled to see where it had come from. The forest was suddenly hazy. I was so focused on getting to the Wolf’s lair, I hadn’t noticed the thickening mist. I’d been wrong earlier. They weren’t clouds blocking out the sun. A dense fog lay over this area. The farther we went, the harder it was to see our surroundings. If the fog continued like this, Neverdark wouldn’t be able to aim farther than she could throw me.

  Out of the gray wisps leapt a wolfling. I ducked, sliding beneath its snapping teeth and stretched claws to slash across its belly. A hot gush of blood covered my arm and sprayed up my shoulder and neck.

  “Impressive,” said Neverdark, imitating my voice.

  But there was no time for laughter. We ran past the dying wolfling, and I tried to ignore its pitiful howls. How many more would I need to slay?

  Another wolfling jumped from the gathering mist. It came at my right side, but I dodged, spun, and stabbed the beast in its hind. Neverdark kicked it over, and we carried on running. My thighs stung. My feet throbbed. And my sweat-drenched tunic had gone cold in the shade, weighing me down. With each labored breath, my chest burned as if my insides were on fire.

  A few more high-pitched whistles shot past my ear before Neverdark growled, “Shit.”

  I turned and saw her grabbing at the empty air above the quiver on her back.

  “That was my last arrow,” she said.

  “Just keep running.”

  In under a minute, we found ourselves facing three large wolflings that blocked our path. We skidded to a halt, kicking dirt and decayed twigs into the air. One of the wolfling’s fangs dripped with hungry saliva. Another one’s jaw trembled in anticipation. The third wolfling watched us with eyes that spoke only of death.

  The three beasts growling together created a terrifying hum.

  I brandished my sword and pulled my shield close to my chest. When I looked at Neverdark standing by my side, my heart jumped.

  “What?” she said, as if there were nothing to worry about. She held a small dagger in her hand. “It’s all I’ve got. I wasn’t expecting to use all my arrows today!”

  “Take this.” Watching the wolflings now, I carefully removed my shield and handed it to Neverdark.

  The beasts seemed to be waiting for the best moment to strike. From the way their eyes kept darting to one another and then back to us, I knew they were communicating somehow. Neverdark and I widened our stances, hunching into defensive positions.

  Then, with a sudden yowl, Nosy darted between my legs and toward the wolflings. She scurried around the first one and jumped on its back. Digging her small, sharp claws into its hind, she gnawed at the beast before pouncing and landing on one of the other wolflings. She’d barely avoided the snap of the last one’s teeth as it twisted to get her. Nosy bit at the second wolfling’s back now. Again, she timed her escape perfectly, leaping to land on the third beast’s head so she could chew at its ear.

  Gaping, Neverdark and I tilted our heads and watched in bafflement as Nosy jumped from wolfling to wolfling. The bushcat angered them so much that when she darted away from the path, deep into the forest, they chased after her with foaming, snapping maws.

  “Nosy!” I cried and began to go after her.

  Neverdark tucked away her dagger and grabbed me by the arm. “No, Senla. Remember your purpose. We have to find the Wolf.”

  “But they’ll kill her!”

  “Nosy knew what she was doing. She was protecting you. Bushcats are fast and small. She’ll get away. She’ll find somewhere to hide.”

  I yanked my arm free and took two steps toward where Nosy had fled. But I stopped myself. Reaching out my free hand, I balled it into a fist before stretching out the fingers. I groaned, then said under my breath, “Please live.”

  “Come on,” said Neverdark when I turned back around. She looked over her shoulder, s
quinting through the trees and the haze. “There’s more on the way. I can hear them.”

  We rushed onward. My exhausted, aching body yearned to give up, but every time I nearly stopped, I thought of Nosy’s bravery and kept going. Had Nosy been intelligent enough to understand her sacrifice? No, I couldn’t think about that now. I had to believe what Neverdark had said. Nosy would survive.

  As we ran, I glimpsed a giant murky lake through the trees on my right. I’d never seen so much water in one place. Part of me wanted to stop and look, but we needed to keep moving. I struggled to see while running, but it looked as if nothing lay beyond the lake—no forest, no hills, nothing. The water stretched on forever—or so it seemed. Perhaps we had reached the edge of this land. I imagined the lake positioned near the precipice of one of the great gorges that separated the lands, threatening to spill over and into the depths of this world, yet far enough from the edge to stay contained.

  When we passed the lake, the next thing I saw was enough to stun me.

  The Wolf’s lair.

  It was nothing like I had imagined. The entrance to the lair gaped out of a big, muddy mound, but it wasn’t like the Fox’s uneven burrow. This entrance was a symmetrical arch of cut stone, the weathered rim patterned with intricate carvings of symbols and letters I didn’t recognize. The ground leading into the lair was flat.

  I almost wanted to linger, to admire the unfamiliar patterns. But my body began to shake with fear. This made no sense. Why did the Wolf live in a structure that had been made, or at least altered, by humans? Or perhaps other beings had built this place. My heart raced as fast as my mind sifting through all the possibilities. Maybe Tenniacs had sculpted this stunning doorway and chiseled the complex imagery and letters into the stone.

  Illus! Had Illus lived here before the Wolf murdered her people? She’d never told me how she’d known the way to the Wolf’s lair. Now, I wondered if she’d known because this was her true home …

  “Senla,” said Neverdark, “we don’t have time to stare at the pretty symbols.” She tugged at my tunic, and I followed her inside.

  The flat ground of the entrance didn’t stay flat for long. It sloped downward. A whistle of air swept through the tunnel as we descended further underground, the daylight receding behind us. The darkness deepened. The passageway filled with the echoes of our rasping breaths, grunts and groans, and fast footfalls.