U-Turn

by Maren Lee

  RB: You said I couldn’t talk about it. You didn’t say I couldn’t send you any pictures.

  KH: You know damn well you can’t send pictures, Ryan. Jesus. I’m sweating like a whore in church.

  RB: I miss licking the sweat off your neck while you sit on my lap and ride my cock. The way you used to grind your pelvis into me when you wanted it harder. Deeper.

  KH: Fuck, stop. And as much as I want to save that photo and use it in my spank bank, I can’t. It would get me in all sorts of trouble.

  RB: Mmmmm. I like your brand of trouble, though. Especially when your brand of trouble involves my cock in your pussy in a dark movie theater.

  Oh fuckkkkkkkk. That memory popping into her brain was a pleasant one.

  You obviously want to fuck things up. You’re self sabotaging here. Ugh.

  Did Katie feel guilty for this conversation? Maybe a little. But probably only because that’s how she thought she was supposed to feel. How far out of the friend zone could she go without fucking things up too badly? Was breaking up with Brian inevitable? That she didn’t know. She was clearly emotionally attached to Ryan, as evidenced by her current heart rate.

  This, in her mind, was pretty fucking close to cheating. If the tables were turned, would she be pissed if Brian – her actual fiancé was texting like this with another woman? She’d be mad, but she wouldn’t be heartbroken. If Ryan was doing this with another woman? Just the thought of that made her sick to her stomach. Made her want to rage and claim him as hers.

  What the fuck is happening? You’re not a cheater, Katie. She hadn’t ever been. Didn’t ever want to be. Shut this down.

  Katie told her conscience to shut the hell up. She’d had a shitty day already. Her fiancé, whom she was now realizing she had to work to convince herself on an almost daily basis that he was the right man for her, was paying more attention to another nurse at the hospital than to her. Shouldn’t that make her sad? Angry? Something?

  She liked the rush she got talking to Ryan again. The flush in her cheeks, the butterflies in her stomach. Even though he represented a forbidden temptation. Katie decided she was going to do one thing for her fucking self today and keep this conversation going. She’d just steer things away from sex. Yeah. That’ll keep the guilt at bay.

  KH: Please stop.

  RB: I’m sorry, baby. I just miss you.

  KH: You miss fucking me. You don’t miss me as a person.

  RB: Bullshit.

  KH: Name one thing about me that you miss about me that isn’t related to sex.

  RB: I miss playing Monopoly with you. You were a hustler and could talk me outta my damn railroads every time.

  That was sweeter than she had been anticipating.

  KH: That’s because you were easy to distract!

  RB: I miss how angry you used to get when they would kill off another one of your favorite characters on Game of Thrones.

  KH: Who kills off Ned Stark in the first season?! That was so fucked up!

  RB: I miss you, Katie. The sex was amazing, but it was just a bonus.

  Ugh. He was totally, completely…right.

  RB: You’re the only woman I’ve ever shared my cereal with.

  Memories of her breakfasts with Ryan. When it had been too late for either one of them to drive the seventy miles back home, they’d spent the night at one another’s place. That was also when it had gone so far beyond “just a booty call” but neither of them wanted to admit it. She could feel it back then. It felt like a real relationship. And she knew then that she needed to cut ties.

  KH: I’m your one and only cereal buddy?

  RB: You’re it.

  KH: I feel honored.

  RB: The pleasure was all mine.

  Katie felt like she was melting into a puddle. She was nearly certain she was slipping through the slats in the adirondack chair and onto the concrete patio. She held her breath for a moment, trying to figure out what to say next. But Ryan chimed in first.

  RB: Katie. Can I please see you?

  She waited a minute before texting back. She was so torn.

  KH: Maybe. I don’t know. Fuck, Ryan. I’m so confused right now.

  RB: Choose me.

  Katie knew she needed to end this right now. It had already gotten too dangerous. Too close to the cheating she really didn’t want to do, no matter how things were going to end up with Brian.

  KH: I better let you go. Have a good night, Ry.

  RB: xoxoxox ❤️

  Ugh. He was killing her.

  Another message popped up on her phone.

  Ryan Blakesly sent a video.

  Oh hell. She grabbed her empty glass and headed inside. Once she closed the glass door behind her, she swiped right.

  Oh fuck.

  It was a video of her riding his cock in the back of the dark movie theater. They’d both had the day off, so he’d taken her to see the matinee showing of some movie she couldn’t remember. The theater was pitch black and nearly empty. It was dark, but there was enough light from the screen. The video showed flashes of her sliding up and down his shaft while he hissed quietly and rubbed and squeezed her back side. She could hear him whisper on the video. “Yesssss. Ride that cock, baby. Fuck. You’re so beautiful. Love this.”

  So hot.

  Katie clenched her fists. She was going to explode. She needed a release. She walked to her bathroom and rummaged through her giant bag of pads she never used and pulled out the suction dildo she’d bought at Lane’s party. She smirked at her perfect hiding spot and stripped off her clothes.

  She stuck the dildo to the shower wall and cranked the water on. This needed to happen. Now. Maybe a few back-to-back orgasms would help her gain some perspective. Maybe.

  Chapter 12

  “What the fuck is this?!” Brian shouted, his voice splashing into her dreams like a bucket of cold water tossed onto her face.

  Katie bolted up in bed and looked around the room. Where was Brian? She rubbed her eyes and checked again as he came storming out of the bathroom.

  “What? What the fuck is what, Brian?” she asked, her voice still coated in sleep.

  “This!” He lifted his arm and shook the dildo at her.

  Whoops. Apparently after all of that gin and masturbation, Katie had forgotten to re-hide her new friend.

  “It’s a dildo, Brian.” She threw the covers off of her and walked to the dresser.

  “Since when did you start using slut toys again? I thought we agreed you would give those up! And why the hell are you sleeping naked?!” He threw the dildo across the room knocking over their engagement photo on the nightstand.

  Katie’s spine bristled. Oh hell no. There was only one way Katie liked the word ‘slut’ and it sure as hell wasn’t in this fucking context.

  “Slut toys? Jesus, Brian. You sound like a crazy fucking Bible thumper. We didn’t agree to anything! Calm it down.”

  “I can’t calm down when my fiancée is cheating on me with a giant rubber wiener!” He put his hands on his hips and glared at her.

  “Back up. I’m cheating on you?” Katie was about to lose her shit. “You’re the asshole who was all over Shayna at the hospital last night! Don’t be a fucking hypocrite, Brian. And since when does getting myself off in the shower equate to cheating on you?”

  He stood with his jaw agape, completely appalled by what she had said.

  She walked around the bed to his side and grabbed the mistreated dildo off the floor. Fucking asshole.

  “Are you cheating on me, Brian?” she asked. Might as well get this over with.

  He took a deep breath. “I swear to god, I was just comforting her. Her closest aunt just passed away after a long battle with cancer. She was crying out in front of the on-call room the other night, so I pulled her into the room so that she could pull herself together. All you saw last night was me checking on her. Being a friend.”

  Well, that sounds slightly reasonable. Dam
n it. Katie wondered why she was annoyed by a real answer. She’d been totally ready to fight it out and break up. But now she felt like a bit of an asshole for all that flirting with Ryan last night. Fuck. She shook her head and sighed. Don’t forget how close they were sitting together last night in the nurses’ lounge. Why didn’t you get this answer last night? Shayna didn’t look sad.

  “You’re being overly dramatic and completely immature about this, Kate,” Brian unwisely decided to tack on to the end of his explanation.

  Strange, but I don’t feel like an asshole anymore. She felt the rage building in her chest as she pointed the tip of the dildo at him. She could have easily smacked him across the face with it, but decided against that tactic. Instead, she calmly replied, “Brian, if you call me Kate, dramatic, or immature one more time – One. More. Time. – I’ll shove this rubber weiner so far down your throat, you’ll be craving relish and fireworks for weeks. Understand?” There she stood. Naked. Holding a dildo. Threatening to shove it down his throat. Challenging him. She felt powerful.

  Fuck yes. Katie Hamilton is back.

  His eyes went wide. “Is that a threat?”

  “No. That’s a fucking promise.” She walked to the bathroom and put the toy back in the drawer where it belonged.

  “That’s not staying in this house!” he demanded.

  “Oh, yes it is! I’m done with changing everything about me to conform to your standards. This is who I am. Take it or leave it. I can easily walk out of here with just a couple of suitcases, so go ahead and try me.” She walked out of the bathroom and into their closet, pulling her suitcase down from the top shelf.

  “Kate—sorry, Katie. Can we just take a minute and calm down?” he asked, sounding slightly frantic.

  “I’m calm,” she replied as she threw a dress on over her naked body and then unzipped her suitcase, ready to pack.

  “Look. I don’t want to make any rash decisions right now, Katie. I’m tired. You’re angry. We can talk about that… thing… at a later date.”

  “There’s nothing to discuss, Brian. I am keeping that ‘thing,’ and you’re going to keep your real dick away from Shayna.”

  “My dick was never— Kate—Katie, you are being dra-… unreasonable. Shayna is my friend. I was being a good friend.”

  “The verdict is still out on that one. I want to believe you, but Brian, there’s something in my gut that’s telling me your story is bullshit. If you truly were just her friend, why would you hide that friendship from me?

  “Because I didn’t want you to be mad I had a girlfriend. I mean,” Brian exhaled harshly, “a friend who’s a girl.”

  Jesus.

  “That’s fucking stupid, Brian. I’m not the jealous type. Especially if there’s nothing going on. You should have no reason to hide it.” She slammed the lid of her suitcase down and walked out of the bedroom and toward the kitchen.

  “Fine,” he huffed. “It won’t happen again, Katie. I swear. I’ll tell you about all of my friendships.” He sounded annoyed at the fact that he had to even have this conversation with her.

  Great.

  “Okay.” She turned on the coffee pot. “So, I’ll see you later, then. I’ve got errands to run today.”

  And you’re not invited.

  “Can I come?” he asked, switching the tone of his voice. “Let’s spend some time together, baby.” He moved in behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

  Ugh.

  “Fine.”

  “Can I work out first?”

  She pulled out of his arms and turned toward him. “No. I don’t want to wait two hours. Skip a day. It won’t kill you.”

  He scowled. “Fucking forget it.” He threw his arms up and started walking away. He picked up the loaf of bread that was on the counter and threw it at the cabinet beside her head. Katie jumped, startled by his outburst.

  Holy shit.

  “Enjoy your alone time,” he tossed back at her.

  “Thanks, I will. Enjoy your workout,” she said, clearly not meaning it. Katie scrunched her mouth and turned to face out the kitchen window.

  “When did you get so god damned difficult?” he asked under his breath as he left.

  Since. Fucking. Now.

  She stood up for herself. She spoke her mind. It felt good. She hadn’t realized just how much she’d let herself morph into a tight-lipped wallflower for him.

  No more.

  Asshole.

  ➰

  Ryan checked his phone every ten minutes to see if she’d texted him. Nothing. All. Day.

  Damn it.

  He was hoping she would wake up and text him first thing and everything would be perfect and they’d get back together and get married and move to Helena to be close to his kids. Okay, maybe that was a bit too far, too fast. He was hoping she would text him and they’d flirt a little and she’d want to hang out. They could go to the shooting range together. Go to dinner. Make out.

  But no.

  Radio silence all damn day.

  Just text her, you pussy.

  Ryan decided to say fuck it and, against his better judgment, pulled her name up in his contacts and sent her a text. Not a Facebook message. Just a text.

  RB: Saturdays are still boring without you.

  Nothing. No conversation bubbles. Just silence.

  He knew she read the damn message. Her read receipts were on.

  He let ten minutes pass before he texted her again.

  RB: Are you back to ignoring me? I thought we made progress last night.

  Conversation bubbles started. Then stopped. Six times.

  He decided to chime in again.

  RB: Nothing I’ve said has changed your mind at all?

  The bubbles continued. Fucking bubbles.

  KH: Sorry. I’ve got a lot going on right now. I’m trying to figure things out. And I’m engaged, Ryan. You know that.

  Ryan had hoped he’d sowed enough seeds of doubt in her mind that she’d be seriously reconsidering that move. Apparently not.

  RB: Do you want me to move on? Say it.

  Bubbles starting and stopping more times than he cared to count.

  Finally a text came over the screen.

  KH: I need time.

  Heartache hit his chest. But he could give her time if she needed it.

  RB: I’d wait for you forever if I knew I had a chance.

  KH: I’m too complicated right now, Ryan.

  God damn it.

  Ryan’s stomach felt weak. He dropped his phone. Did she really mean that? No. You know she’s lying to herself. But how long would he last with her going back and forth on her feelings about him? He felt like he was on a damn yo-yo.

  What the hell would make her see that they belonged together?

  What made you see the light and realize you wanted to try to win Katie back?

  He’d learned she was about to belong forever to someone else. The second Ryan knew Katie had officially moved on, he was done for. He had a one track mind with only one goal: get her back.

  That’s it! Maybe if he went on a date and told Katie about it, the green-eyed monster would bring her back to him?

  It’s worth a shot.

  Ryan picked his phone up off of the floor. He knew he had Sierra’s phone number in there somewhere. He swiped through his contacts and found it. There it was under the name ‘Sierra Ramey Potential 653.’” Ryan chuckled. A ‘653’ was the police code for harassment by phone. Anytime she called or texted him there was a chance he was going to be harassed. But she was good people. She only wanted everyone to be happy, so he really couldn’t fault her for that. He tapped her name and put the phone to his ear.

  Three rings passed before she picked up.

  “Ryan Blakesly! Why the hell are you calling me on a Saturday? It better be important, asshole.”

  “Hey, Si. I think it’s important. It’s about my dating life. That’s important right?”


  “You mean your lack of a dating life?”

  Ryan groaned. He couldn’t believe he was subjecting himself to this. “Yeah, that’s the one.”

  “Yes, it’s important. I’ll forgive you for calling me on a Saturday. Everyone hates dry spells. Are you finally ready to let me set you up on a date with my friend Gwen?”

  “Yep. I’m ready now. Over this being lonely shit.” It was true. But he already knew Gwen wasn’t going to help him with that unless just the thought of Ryan being out with her spurred Katie to come back to him.