Julie

by Sherry Foster

  “So, this house, does it belong to Julie and me or what? I don’t understand what happens next”

  “Well, no. Usually females come to us one at a time from a rescue. And the female is placed based on her history. Because of your history you and Julie were placed here for a while so you can get used to having freedom. After a while you can chose if you want to live in a communal house or continue here until you are of age.”

  “What about Julie?” Allison’s whisper was so faint Willow barely heard her.

  “Julie will be free to live here with you, if we deem it best for her emotional and mental well being and for yours. Or she can choose to live with one of the counselors we have here. I have a mate, so she would probably not choose to live with me. Darla, another counselor here also has a mate. Having a male around would not be good for her at this stage after how we have seen her react. Usually we don’t place two liberated females together, alone like this so soon after rescue. Then again, we usually don’t get two at the same time. But after being around you and Julie, and hearing what your rooms looked like at the former prison, we think it best to keep you two together for at least a little while”

  “So here, she would stay here?”

  “We are exploring another option. We have one unmated female here she may chose to live with, but the situation is tricky.”

  “Tricky? Tricky how?” worry filled Allison’s face. Handling Julie was a task better suited to Kate or Dawn. But they were not here and Allison felt responsible for her care.

  “I am sorry, I can’t tell you right now. We are waiting on some answers first.”

  Guiding Julie to the table and getting the bear from her so she could eat took up some time and allowed Willow to change the subject. Allison still gave her questioning looks through the meal but Willow would just shake her head.

  Later, after making small talk with Allison while they sat next to Julie, Willow said her goodbyes and headed for the door. The faintest whisper reached her as the door swung shut behind her causing her to jerk her hand up to stop the door from fully closing. Watching Julie she walked back in the house. Allison was staring wide-eyed at Julie then turning to face Willow before turning back to Julie.

  Meanwhile Julie had resumed rocking, if she had ever stopped.

  Willow, going to her knees reached her hand out and gently laid it on Julie’s knee. “Yes Julie honey, you do have your very own mountain, and he will never let anyone hurt you ever again. His name is Gammon. Would you like to meet him one day?”

  But it seemed that one whispered sentence was all Julie had to say as once again she sat staring into the abyss only she could see with only her memories to torment her, rocking the bear she clung to as though the stuffed animal was her lifeline.

  After sitting patient for some time Willow finally heaved herself back to her feet and motioning Allison to follow her led the way outside.

  Before closing the door she watched Julie for a moment but she did not seem to have noticed she was alone. That suited Willow as she had no desire to be overheard.

  “Did you hear what she said when I walked out the first time? This bodes well for reaching her if she has heard me tell her of Gammon. When you get a chance, since you will be staying together, for now, try to speak of safety with the mountain to guard you. Maybe he will be our break in reaching her. Don’t try to ‘fix’ her, just talk to her like you would normally.”

  “I don’t know Willow, she said too. That doesn’t sound like she was talking about Gammon, does it?”

  “What do you mean? I heard her say I have a mountain. You have seen the man, what else do you think she may have meant? You have known her far longer than I have at this point.”

  “Yeah, but she said too. She said, I have a mountain too.”

  “Interesting, I did not catch that word. Still, I can only speculate, but she was probably saying if we have a mountain to protect us, she does also. This shows she has placed herself in the category of people he will protect. You said you had never heard her say a word before she started murmuring that number so anything is a win in this situation. When someone has been so traumatized, any win is progress.”

  “Willow?”

  “Yes dear?”

  Why don’t I feel as unsettled as I think I should after all I have been through? I don’t feel frightened or scared or well, not much of anything but relief and peace. Why?”

  Willow snorted, “You have Delany. A true-mate, even not yet mated, makes all the difference in the world. They ground you and balance you and occasionally drive you insane.”

  “If I have him, where is he? Why did he leave?” Allison’s voice came across as both small and indignant at the same time. Willow wanted to laugh.

  “Now you will have to take that situation up with Delany when next you see him, which should be tomorrow or the next day. He has other jobs around here and he must do them.”

  “Oh trust me, I will. He will not be dumping me off somewhere and running off. Not after he is the reason I came to this dark cold armpit of America instead of going with Kate.”

  Willow could not contain her laughter, “It will not be dark all year and I don’t think anyone could ever consider Alaska to be the armpit of anywhere. If you watch you can see the northern lights later. Maybe get Julie to watch them with you. Now, I have other things to do and some work to catch up on so I will swing back by later.”

  Chapter Seven

  Jutoh looked toward the south, he could feel his Alpha loping through the pines in his direction. Another hour, maybe more, maybe less before Gammon reached this lonely section of pack territory. As he laid his head down on his paws he could feel how close he was to walking on the other side. He was ready, he had been ready and some days he wished he had just a little bit of quit in him. But he had never been one to quit.

  He remembered the day he lost his mate and child as though it was yesterday. The smell of burning wood hanging in the air. The acrid smell of ash mixed with the smell of blood and death. While he waited on Gammon he let his mind drift back to that fateful day so many centuries ago.

  The pack had gone hunting. Food had been scarce that winter and the women and children needed food. Almost every male in the pack had gone out that day. The scent of fresh snow in the air, the barest hint of game on the wind.

  He shook himself from his thoughts. It wouldn’t do to be deep in the memories when Gammon reached him. The past hurt them both too much to dredge it up. The loss of his mate, of his daughter-Gammon’s mate. The loss of every female and child in the village that day and of the few males not able to go. The loss of many of the males who had gone out hunting. Those males who felt the loss of their true-mates and never made it back to the village and had never been seen again. Too much, the pain was crippling.

  Jutoh tried to stop the memories as the pain lashed at his soul, but this time, as many times before, the memories would not be driven down. Could not be contained. He saw the faces of his pack members, his family, the ones entrusted to his care as their Alpha. He knew every name, remembered each face. The laughing voices of the children cavorting in the snow. The gentle touch on his lips as his mate kissed him goodbye that last morning.

  The soul-shattering life-tearing pain that came hours later when the pack was far from the village on the trail of game to bring home to feed their families. The agonized screams echoing through the males as they felt and heard their mates murdered. So many deaths, all avenged, too late to save the pack.

  Twenty males had gone out on the hunt but only twelve returned. Eight males never heard from again except in some shattered memories as they suffered and died with their mates. Their torment ringing in the minds of the others. Twelve males out of a pack of eighty-seven. Four mated males survived. The vengeance they unleashed upon the humans that week was of nightmare proportions. Eight human villages destroyed, over a three thousand deaths before some spark of sanity returned. The hunters who struck against the shifter village were the first to die.
But even those were not enough to quench the pain, the rage of the twelve males. And so the killing continued until the day Gammon, the youngest of the twelve, the newest mated, called a halt.

  Reforming the twelve into a semblance of a pack, Gammon made the resolve to move to the new world and start over, far from humans. Jutoh was in no condition to oppose the plan, so lost in his world of hurt he barely remembered the few years that followed. When once again he had some spark of sanity back he found he had oath-bound himself to a new Alpha during those dark years, a mountain of a young male. A young male he had been proud to call son when his daughter had mated.

  Where Gammon had picked up the additional males and females in the move had been a mystery to Jutoh for a few more decades. Now, some centuries later, he was one of the only four men left of the twelve. And he was tired. One more task he needed to perform, but he would not ask it of his Alpha except in person.

  He heard the lonely howl of anguish as Gammon approached. As he lifted his muzzle his howl joined that of his Alpha. So many centuries, so much pain, worse sometimes when the two were so close in proximity. Almost as though the pain of one fed the pain of the other. Maybe, Jutoh thought, when he was gone, and Gammon no longer felt the need to come so often to his hut, the healing of his son-by-mating would be done. His last link to the pain laid to rest.

  The other two came often to visit. They had not suffered the loss of a mate as he and Gammon had. But the shared history of the four forged a bond closer than any other in the pack. No one outside of the pack, or inside for that matter, knew or understood why Gammon had two Betas. In the history of the shifter world no other Alpha had two Betas, two right hands to forge a pack stronger than anyone had ever seen. Jutoh was not sure Gammon had shared his entire past with his little mate. No matter, that was something surely better left between mates.

  Your pain is strong today, but your voice is weak.

  This I know my son, my time she is so close. Soon will walk fields of other side and see others. What brings you now? What hell you suffer this time? The little one, she is well no?

  Yes, she thrives, more so since the mystery of the missing youngsters being solved.

  You no listen my accent, you little one, she fuss so at you come back with accent. Careful, you no careful. I listen you accent is here, then is there. But only there here no?

  As Gammon shifted he laughed. He gestured for Jutoh to enter the house as he opened the door. Going to the closet he searched the shelf for his stash of clothing. When he turned around Jutoh was lowing himself to the rug in front of the fire. Gammon knew Jutoh rarely shifted now. The physical pain of old age seemed less of a burden in wolf form.

  “I know, she does gripe about it, everyone gripes about it. I have never been able to stop myself. It is easy, so easy to follow your conversation if I revert back. If you had not stopped learning the English language you would have a better grasp on it and I would not unconsciously follow your terrible lead. You do this on purpose I think. Never till today have you warned me not to do this. Never have you scolded me for what you caused me to do with accent. Admit it, you know better English that you say. You do it to watch me struggle.”

  Others they tell you so now no?

  “Yes, the others finally told me what you were doing. They say you know more of this language than you let on.”

  Maybe yes, maybe no. Is funny.

  “It has caused much laughter in the pack over the centuries. Ah Jutoh, this life is not getting easier for the shifters. We have suffered much more than any one race should ever know.”

  Tell me.

  As Gammon lowered his bulk in a chair and laid his hand upon Jutoh’s back he told him of everything that had happened the last few days. From the rescue of the females to the strangeness of Shilo’s actions. When he was done he waited, not sure if Jutoh would have an answer. Over four hundred years old and he had no answer, neither had his Betas, but Jutoh was older still than all of them. Gammon believed Jutoh was the oldest of all the shifters, certainly the oldest he knew about. Jutoh was also a closely guarded secret in his pack, and from his most of his pack.

  As he waited he listened to the crackling of the fire. As necessary as fire was to survival, sometimes it was also a trigger for the horror of the past. This night the horror had been tamped down by the needs of pack he held so dear. If Jutoh had no answer no one else would have one.

  No mate?

  “No, Shilo says neither female is his mate. He claims to love Trisah but his actions are more like a protector than a lover. His wolf demands to keep the small one, Julie safe. The description he gives for his wolf’s actions are more like true-mate protection. But his wolf says not mate.”

  Ah Julie, she mother, like my Sasha?

  “No Julie is a child still. I have missed your point haven’t I?”

  Yes yes Julie, she mother like my Sasha, for Shiloh. You think on it. You see?

  “To be honest Jutoh, I don’t see.”

  I remember you pup. Always in way. Never go home. Feed you much. Grow like tree. Much protect my Sasha. Send you home you sneak back always. Finally we have Natasha. Never you give peace again. Always in way. Like son. Work like son, eat like son, protect Natasha like brother. Good thing you parents have two boys. Grow up mate Natasha. Knew would. Shilo have Julie. Julie not mate, must be mother to mate. Will be. One day. You see.

  “Oh, that is, I am not sure how I will explain to the others. Jutoh, I don’t remember being underfoot all the time. My parents said you had no son to help you. They said our Alpha should have a son. A strong boy to help him. They sent me to your hearth.”

  Is because you hurt. Always rubbing chest. Nightmares bout claws ripping you guts. They save you life send to me. I try return you many times. You come back always. Knew then. Speak with parents. Tell me of pain. Knew my Sasha she have for us daughter. Not then but one day. Is happened yes? I keep you as son.

  “That doesn’t explain his love for Trisah though.”

  Puppy love no?

  “Puppy love no! Shilo is almost a hundred years old maybe a bit past that. You know, I don’t know how old he is but too old to have puppy love for someone. He is not a young pup to have his head turned by a pretty face.”

  Crazy then. No explain love. It go way after. Is maybe two family he love like nephew like brother like son like protector of both? You say they sisters?

  “We don’t know if they are sisters. We think they may be. Too many coincidences I think for them to be strangers. Trisah lost her family in a fire. Julie has scars from fire. They carry a family scent.” Gammon shook his head, the smell of frustration and pain permeated the small cabin.

  My son is time. Call others, bring mate. I fix mistake. Is something should have done. Is right I say her daughter. Mate to son.

  “Jutoh, my father, my friend, I am not ready to say goodbye. But I will not hold you to this world.”

  Dimitri, Nikita, come brothers, it is Jutoh’s time. Bring Mia, he wishes to accept her as daughter. Explain to her what she must do to accept his blessing. I would not have her feel she shamed me.

  Gammon felt the brief flare of pain from the two men before they quenched it from being felt by others. He bowed his head as the tears slowly traveled down his face. For over four hundred years Jutoh had been a rock in the men’s lives. Even through the lost years Jutoh had never been able to remember, he remained their rock.

  Jutoh had been the one who taught them to be men, protectors, fighters, and hunters. The one to teach them how to be a pack. How to be an Alpha, leaders and providers. For all the shared pain, and despite knowing this day was coming, letting go was hard. He was a father figure to Dimitri and Nikita, but to Gammon, he was father, had been since he was old enough to toddle to the house of his Alpha to protect the mother of his future mate. Even if he had not known until tonight why he had always felt the need to go to his Alpha’s house.

  The two men sat in front of the fire, not speaking, just existing in the moment un
til they could feel the others getting closer.

  Jutoh rose to his feet, slowly shaking his fur out before beginning the shift. Gammon helped him to continue the rise to an upright position.

  Voice hoarse for disuse Jutoh directed Gammon to get his clothing. He would meet his new daughter as a father should.

  When the two Betas and Mia entered the cabin Gammon rose from his chair and crossed the room to catch her hand and lead her back, the other two following close behind.

  In front of the fire, standing tall and proud, Jutoh waited. As Gammon went to one knee in front of the man he called father he could feel Mia kneel beside him. He felt the quiver in her hand. He felt both his Betas take their place at his back as was their right. Bowing his head he introduced his mate.

  “Father, I have found a true-mate. I ask your blessing and acceptance of her as my mate and your daughter. Not to replace what we have lost but to grow what we have kept.”

  Placing one hand upon Mia’s head and the other trembling hand upon Gammon’s, voice cracked with age, Jutoh gave the blessing he had withheld for over two decades. “As you are my son your mate is my daughter. I accept your mate into our family. I give you my blessing for a long life with much love and many children. May it be long before you walk the other side. My son forgive me for not accepting sooner the treasure you had been given.”

  But Gammon, hearing the perfectly spoken words coming from his father’s mouth had barely heard the speech. Staring at Jutoh in exasperated disbelief all he could mutter was, “What the actual fuck father?”

  “Watch mouth, is lady here no?” The trembling voice, thick with the Russian accent, had more than a hint of laughter as Gammon stared at him. Behind him his Betas didn’t bother trying to contain their laughter.