by Kendra Riley
***
“Are you nervous?” Hazel asked Damien as they stood in front of her parents’ house. She was certainly nervous. The last time she had bought a guy home it had been Robbie and that had been so long ago that she had completely forgotten what that even felt like.
“Not at all,” He replied and she grinned.
If he was nervous he was certainly very good at hiding it. He was wearing black jeans and a white t-shirt and yet despite the simplistic attire he still managed to look like he was John Travolta from Grease. It was sexy, that was for sure. She just hoped that her mother would approve. She realized that she was bringing home the complete opposite to Robbie who her parents had once nicknamed ‘the golden boy.’ There was a time when Robbie could do no wrong.
“Hazel! My darling.” Her mother came forward and embraced her and then looked at Damien. “And you must be the famous Damien.”
“I’m famous? That’s good to know. Lovely to meet you, Mrs Rose.”
“Nonsense, call me Angela. Come in, come in.”
“Hi Dad. Dad, meet Damien. Damien, this is my father, Robert.” Her father had been incredibly displeased about Robbie – especially since the two of them had shared a name. Although her father told her afterwards that there was something disconcerting about a grown man who refused to be called by his real name.
“Damien, pleasure to meet you. Welcome to the mad house.”
“Robert! Don’t scare the man.”
Hazel noticed immediately that her mother had said don’t scare the man instead of don’t scare the boy. Was that because they were finally seeing her as an adult or because Damien was impossible to call boy?
“Auntie Hazel! Auntie Hazel! Auntie Hazel is here!” Shaun and Emma came hurtling down the stairs, almost falling and ran to hug her. They were four and five – or five and a half as Shaun liked to say – and were the cutest kids that she had ever known. Although, as their aunt, she was probably being biased.
“Hello, my little munchkins. Have you both been good today?” she knelt down and asked them.
“Yes! Do you have a present for us?” They were literally jumping up and down in excitement.
“Is that the only reason why you’re being so nice to me? In case I have a treat?”
Their little heads looked down in shame. “No, Auntie Hazel.”
“Well you’re in luck. Because I DO actually have something for you.” She handed them both a Lego set and watched them squeal in delight. Just then Mark, her brother, walked in followed by Theresa.
“You really shouldn’t bribe them like that you know?” He came up and kissed her on the cheek.
“I know, but I can’t help it. I’m buying their love. It’s far easier. Mark, Theresa, this is Damien.”
Hazel watched the interaction between them. It was obvious that they were all giving Damien the once over without trying to be too overt about it. Robbie had been a part of the family and they were now over protective over Hazel in making sure that this time they didn’t make the same mistakes she had. They’d just accepted Robbie and assumed that he was a good guy. Now, they seemed to look at everyone more cautiously.
Later, Hazel was in the kitchen with Theresa helping with the preparations and Mark and Damien were outside getting to know each other over a couple of beers. Theresa poked her in the ribs and grinned at her.
“So… he’s gorgeous. I most definitely approve. Way better than Robbie.”
Hazel grinned back. “I know. I was a bit worried because I know he’s got a bit of a bad boy image to him, but he’s actually such a sweetheart. I was just worried that my parents would just see what was on the outside though.”
“Well, trust me, Hazel, we all know not to judge by appearances anymore. Robbie was a Mr. Perfect who turned out to be not so perfect after all. And anyway, who wants squeaky clean – that is incredibly boring. I prefer someone that has stories!”
“Yeah, exactly. That’s what I think, too. I had no idea how much I was missing out on all these years. I really thought I was going to marry Robbie but now I’m so grateful that I’m not. For the first time I actually feel as if it was all for the best. It seems as if things are going well between us. I was a bit worried. Damien doesn’t come from a family like ours. His parents died when he was like thirteen or something so he didn’t have the same family life like I did. I was worried that this was going to be incredibly daunting for him.”
“Look at me though, Hazel. I also don’t come from a family like this, but I love it. In fact, it’s been like a way for me to have the kind of family that I always dreamed about having. Just give him time. You’ll see… he’ll fit right in. I have a good feeling about this one.”
“Thanks, Theresa. So do I.” Hazel felt instantly cheered up by this conversation. Perhaps she really should be calling Theresa more often to tell her things.
“And you know what…?” Theresa said.
“What?”
“You look far happier than I’ve seen you look in a long time. So he must be doing something right.”
“Oh, he is.”
“I’m sure he is.”
That made Hazel laugh and soon the two of them were giggling together like school girls. Mark and Damien walked in and asked what they were laughing about and they yelled, “Nothing” at the same time which only made them laugh even more. Hazel tried to fan her glowing face and she laughed when she saw Damien smiling at her.
Outside they all sat around a big table and passed around big plates of food. Damien had a very healthy appetite which seemed to greatly please Hazel’s mother who always thought suspiciously of people that refused to have seconds. When the roast potatoes came out she saw him eying them eagerly but then instead of dishing up for himself he dished up extra for her. It was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for her. She plopped one on his plate so that he could try it, too. It was during dessert when Damien’s phone rang and he went to answer it.
Hazel watched him in the distance and saw how his eyes had narrowed and how frustrated he looked. She wondered who he was talking to and supposed he would tell her later. When he got back to the table, he didn’t say anything but continued to eat as he was before. Hazel kept glancing at him to make sure he was okay but he didn’t look her way. Whoever was on the phone had obviously riled him up and he looked desperate to forget about it. When Mark offered him another beer he smiled gratefully and said that he would love one. Hazel wondered if anyone else had noticed how quickly he drank it. Then, when the coffees were getting made, Hazel watched as Damien sent messages back and forth on his phone and how he quickly canceled a call that was coming through. She was just about to ask him what was going on when he stood up.
“I’m so terribly sorry to do this to you but I just got an urgent call from work and I have to go. This is the absolute worse timing but there is nothing that I can do.”
“From work?” her mother had asked. “On a Sunday?”
“Yeah, some big job that needs finishing for a client tomorrow. I hate that I have to leave. I feel awful. Especially since I was having such a good time.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, dear. These things happen. At least we got to spend most of the day with you. Now, let me go wrap up some food for you to take home.”
Damien said his goodbyes to everyone and Hazel walked him to the door. A strange sensation was building up inside of her that she couldn’t quite place. Fear?
“I’m sorry about this,” he said to her.
For the first time, she felt as if there was something else going on that she was unaware of. He’d always been so open with her, but he seemed to be closed up.
“That’s okay. I’m glad you came,” she said and tried to sound cheery.
He walked off and then turned around and there was a sad smile on his face.
“I love you, Panda.” It was the first time he had said those words.
“I love you, too, cute man.”
When she got home, she sent him a message to
let him know that she was back and to tell him that he was welcome to come over when he was done with work. He never replied so she assumed that he must be busy even though it wasn’t like him to work on a Sunday night. She fell asleep early and tried to ignore the warning bells that were going off in her head.
The next morning she expected to see a message from him but the only messages were from her mother and Theresa, both exclaiming how good it was to see her, how good she looked and how much they liked Damien. She responded to them with thanks and didn’t say a word about how worried she was. That morning, at work, she tried to keep a cheery face for the children. Then, a bit later on, she sent Damien another message asking if he was okay. No reply.
After work, Hazel got out her phone and called him. She didn’t want to be the type of girlfriend that didn’t allow her boyfriend to have space but it was just so unlike him not to message her. The phone rang and then cut off. She tried again but the same thing happened.
It was Tuesday afternoon when she finally decided to call the cops. She didn’t know what else to do. She’d gone to his apartment and there had been no reply. His door was locked and his windows and curtains firmly shut. His neighbors didn’t seem to know a thing and she still couldn’t get hold of him on his phone. She didn’t know his brother's number and she didn’t even know where he worked. She didn’t want to call the cops but it seemed to be the only thing left to do. They took down her details and promised to call her back the moment they heard anything. Only ten minutes went by before her phone rang.
“Hello?” She could hear the desperation in her voice.
“Miss Rose. It’s Rusty Williams. We spoke on the phone earlier. I have some news pertaining to your boyfriend, Mr. Damien Carson.”
“Yes?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“Mr. Carson was taken to jail in the early hours of Monday morning.”
“JAIL?” What the hell was going on?
“I’m very sorry to inform you but Mr Carson was caught during an armed robbery at the bank. He has been arrested.”
“But… are you sure? I mean… are you sure we’re talking about the same man?”
“Mr. Damien Carson. He has dark hair, dark eyes and a cut across his left eyebrow. Listen Ma’am, I’m very sorry about this. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do. He has admitted to the crime and we are not sure how long he will be in for. Thankfully, nobody was hurt in the process but he will be in jail for a good few years.”
“Which… which jail?”
“Unfortunately, the prison that he would normally have gone to for this sort of crime is full. Which means they had to take him to Ashmount State Prison. It’s a maximum security prison which means they do not accept visitors. The only way you’ll get to talk to him is through a lawyer. I’m sorry for the bad news. I can hear that it comes as a surprise.”
Hazel put the phone down with a trembling hand. Of course it came as a surprise! Her whole life was crumbling around her. What was wrong with her? Was she always going to fall for men that lied to her? That had separate lives to the one that they shared with her? But this was so much worse than Robbie. She had always loved Robbie but after meeting Damien she had realized that she had never truly been in love with him. But she was in love with Damien. And now… he was gone. Hazel broke down into a heap on the floor and sobbed until there were no more tears inside of her.
Hazel didn’t go to work that whole week. She told them she was sick and she spent the entire week in bed. She simply just didn’t have the strength to face the rest of the world. She didn’t have the energy to see the happy smiling faces of her children at school. She didn’t tell her mother. She didn’t tell Theresa. She told nobody. She just stayed in bed with the covers pulled up all the way over her and she cried. It was Friday when she finally got out of the house and made her way to the shops. She’d been feeling nauseous all day and wanted to get something to settle her stomach. She wasn’t sure if she had caught a bug or if she was just so run down from what happened.
It was the following Friday when she realized that she hadn’t yet had her period. It was Saturday when she finally went and got herself a few pregnancy tests just to make sure. It was Sunday night, two weeks after that lunch at her parents, when she finally took the tests. It was Monday morning, two weeks after Damien’s arrest, when she discovered the horrible truth she had known all along. She was pregnant.
Chapter2
Damien
Damien’s brother had always told him that one day he would end up in jail. His brother, Wesley, was only two years his senior but sometimes seemed about ten. It had always been that way. Damien was always the mischievous one, curious about how far he could push himself as well as the boundaries of society. He hated rules and structure and liked nothing more than getting away with doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. They were both clearly intelligent from a very young age but Wesley knew what to do with that intelligence while Damien felt that he never found an outlet for it.
He refused to be a ‘suit and tie’ kind of guy and hated nothing more than the idea of working behind a desk in a stuffy office. He wanted freedom. So it was no surprise that it was Damien who had fallen in with the wrong crowd. The ‘cool kids’, he used to say, even though looking back he could see that there was nothing cool about them. They taught him all the things that he knew well today – how to steal and how to lie his way out of anything.
By the age of eighteen he had joined a group of misfits that called themselves ‘The Poison Ivy’s’ and their mission in life was to cause chaos upon anyone they deemed to deserve it. Back then it was mostly just a bit of fun. They were bored teenagers without anything else to do with their lives. They got together once a week, drank beers and swapped stories, then they’d go out and see what damage they could do. It was here where they discovered that having a job wasn’t necessary because stealing was a far quicker way to get money. Also, it was more fun, depending on who they stole it from.
They made it clear that they would only steal from those that deserved it – which generally meant rich men in suits or anyone who gave them attitude. Each time they’d run back to their meeting spot – Tom’s garage – and throw the wallets into the middle of the group. Then, they’d add the money up and divide it between them. That had been Tom’s idea. To divide the money equally. He said it would solidify them as a group and to make sure that nobody is better off than the next. They wanted to be equal in a world where inequality was rife. That was until the day that they found an extra wallet hidden in Tom’s back pocket. He swore that he had just forgotten about it but it was clear that he hadn’t. In that moment, it was as if everything they had worked together as a group came crashing down and from then on, it became each to their own.
But working alone wasn’t nearly as fun and soon Damien found another group to work with. They were big drinkers and their crimes were a little bit more severe than the ones that Damien was used to. They also stole but they didn’t just take wallets. They broke into cars, into homes, into shops – and it was here that Damien discovered that it wasn’t just about the money. It was about the thrill. There was something about the feeling of getting away with doing what you were not supposed to do that brought him back to his childhood. How he hated rules. He liked this group. They didn’t pretend to be best friends.
They all had the same goals and motivations and, while they often worked together, they also had no problems with working on their own. It was around this time where Damien and his brother had stopped talking. His brother worked hard, owned his own house and was starting a family and wanted nothing to do with Damien, who was the very opposite to him. Damien said that he didn’t care. He preferred to be alone.
And he was alone one day when a man in a suit that he had previously taken a wallet from came hurtling at him down the street. The man must’ve been watching him. He knocked Damien to the floor and then pulled out a gun.
“Whoa, man, please don’t shoot me. I just took your wa
llet, that’s all.”
“You can’t go around just taking people’s wallets. How can you think that it’s okay to do that? Don’t you know that I worked hard for my money? Don’t you think that it’s not fair that I had to tell my kids that someone assaulted me? How dare you!”
“Dude, please put the gun away. I can get back your wallet.”
“It’s not just about the wallet.”
And in that moment Damien knew that this man had been pushed too far. He could see it in his eyes. Damien wasn’t the first person to have done this to him, but Damien was the one that had set him over the edge. He knew by looking into this man's eyes, that he was about to pull the trigger. So it was to his great relief and surprise that someone came up behind that man and knocked him to the floor. That man was Tom. From then on, he and Tom became friends again and he knew that he owed his life to him. Tom joined his gang and the two started to do everything together. No more going out alone. They joined forces and only ever worked as a team. They had done that for almost twelve years. Twelve long years until Damien simply couldn’t do it anymore. He was thirty years old when he went up to Tom and said, “I’m out.”
It wasn’t easy to just go ‘out’ – not easy at all. For one, he’d made a lot of enemies along the way. For another, his ‘friends’ were now worried that he’d clean up his act and suddenly decide to spill the beans on them. And nobody wants to be told on, especially when getting told on would probably lead to jail. For Damien, it had happened slowly. After telling Tom that he didn’t want to be a part of it anymore he realized that it wasn’t going to work that way. Nothing was that easy. It was Tom who had advised him of this. The only way to truly get out was to start making yourself less visible. To go on less calls, to do less things, to have the odd excuse as to why you couldn’t attend a meeting. It was especially difficult when you were still involved with the Poison Ivy group because they didn’t take kindly to people who wanted to opt out.
