by E. L. Todd
Abby fidgeted with her keys, unsure what to do.
“And I would love to take you out—on a real date.”
“Uh…”
“I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“Toby, I said I’m not looking for a relationship. You’re just wasting your time.”
He sighed. “I didn’t ask for a relationship—just a date.”
“My answer is still no.”
Toby’s eyes darkened. “I don’t normally spend this much time on a single girl. I pick one up, have my way with her, and then I’m done with her. But I don’t want that with you. I really like you and respect you. Give me a chance. I promise you won’t regret it.”
She put her keys in the door. “I won’t change my mind. Please don’t bother me again.”
Toby ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “You’re killing me, Abby.”
“Maybe we should just forget our deal…”
“What?” he said. “Why?”
“You’re only going to keep bothering me.”
“Because I really like you. But I want to be your friend if I can’t have anything more. So no, our deal isn’t off.”
Abby pulled her hair back. “Okay…”
“I know you have a thing for me. You keep trying to push me away and I don’t understand why. I’m not going to hurt you—I promise.”
She covered her face. “Stop—please stop.”
He stepped back. “I don’t know who fucked you up like this, but just because one jerk broke your heart doesn’t make the rest of us assholes. I actually care about you and would do anything to protect you. We may have gotten off on the wrong foot, but if we channel our chemistry into each other, not against each other, we could be something pretty damn incredible. But if you’re going to keep acting like this, then fine.” He stormed down the hallway. “Goodnight.”
Abby watched him go with a broken heart. She hated hurting him, hurting anyone. Even when she pushed people away, they still ended up in pain. She was a horrible person and hated herself for it.
She walked into her apartment and shut the door. She collapsed on the couch and stared at the ceiling, wondering where her life went wrong. She was lucky she had people who did care about her, but it didn’t erase all the people who didn’t.
A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She looked through the peephole before she opened it. It was the artist from the market. She opened the door.
“Yes?”
The woman handed her the painting Abby wanted but couldn’t afford to buy. “Enjoy.”
“Wait. Are you giving this to me?”
“It’s yours,” she said with a smile.
“But I didn’t pay for it,” she said quickly.
“No, but your boyfriend did.”
Chapter Twenty
Abby carried the painting into her living room and stared at it. It looked just as beautiful as it did earlier. When she ran her fingers across the surface, she felt the dried paint underneath. There were bumps and grooves, the blood, sweat, and tears of a true artist.
She sat down and leaned it against the coffee table. When she looked at the woman in the center, she immediately thought of herself. Alone, quiet, and afraid, she pushed away everyone that meant anything to her. And she was doing the exact same thing to Toby.
She pulled out her phone and stared at it for a long time. Her hand shook as she pulled up his number. He probably didn’t want to talk to her, and she didn’t blame him at all. She finally hit the send button and listened to it ring.
When the fourth ring played, she knew he wouldn’t answer.
“What?” he snapped.
The hostility didn’t surprise her.” Hi…”
“What?” he repeated.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Thank you for the painting. That was really sweet…”
“Why is that surprising?” The anger blared in his voice.
They sat in silence for a long time. She listened to him breathe over the phone, trying to think of something to say.
“Is that it?” he asked in an irritated voice.
“Yeah…”
“Bye.”
She felt heart skip a beat. “Wait.”
“Yeah?”
“Would you like to come over for a cup of coffee or something…?”
Toby didn’t respond. The line went dead. Abby thought he hung up for a moment. A few seconds later, Toby’s voice returned. “Really?”
“Yes.” Her voice became strong. “I’d love it if you came over.”
“I’ll be there in five minutes.” He hung up.
Abby put the phone down then paced in her living room. She hadn’t had a guy in her apartment in a long time. The anxiety pulsed through her, making her feel nervous and scared. Her palms were drenched in sweat. She wasn’t sure why she asked him to come over. She didn’t even know how to entertain him. She decided to make a pot of coffee since that’s why she invited him over.
He knocked on the door and announced his arrival. Abby placed her hand on the handle and took a deep breath. She finally opened the door and tried to put on a brave façade.
Toby saw right through it. “Don’t be scared.”
Her heart rate increased.
“I know it was really hard for you to do that. And you won’t regret it.” He stepped inside then shut the door behind him.
Abby put her hands on her hips and stood back.
Toby looked around the apartment. “It’s nice.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly. “Would you like some coffee?”
“Sure.”
She poured him a glass. “How do you take it?”
“Black,” he said.
She handed him the mug.
He drank it while he stared at her. “It’s good. Thank you.”
“Yeah…”
Toby moved into the living room and examined the painting. “Where will you put it?”
“I’m not sure yet.” She approached the couch and crossed her arms over her chest.
Toby eyed the painting she took from Fernan. “Why don’t you switch it with that?”
Abby looked at it. “Because I love it too.”
“Sounds like a touch decision.”
“I can hang both of them.”
Toby sat down then looked at her. “Take a seat,” he said gently.
She moved to the opposite side of the couch.
“I don’t bite,” he said with a smile.
She scooted closer to him.
Toby placed his arm over the back of the chair. His skin touched the back of her neck, suddenly warming her. The heat transferred into her body, making her feel scorching hot.
“Why are you nervous around me?” he asked. “As soon as we are out of public, you close off. Nothing has changed.”
“I just…I don’t know.”
“I think you do.”
She looked at the blank television screen. There was a noticeable glare from the kitchen light. She meant to reposition it but she kept forgetting.
“I won’t kiss you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
She breathed a sigh of relief.
“Even though you clearly want me to.”
She didn’t deny it.
“But I will do this.” He touched her shoulder then pulled her into him. Her head immediately went to his shoulder, and her side pressed against his. Her heart rate picked up again. Then he grabbed her hand and interlocked their fingers.
She stared at their joined hands. The connection surprised her. Despite their unfriendly meeting, she felt close to him. The innate feeling between them stretched no matter the distance. An invisible rope kept pulling them back together despite her attempts to sever it.
He kissed her hand, melting the skin with his lips. “I like this.”
She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes. The safety of his embrace immediately washed over her.
“Why did you ask me to come over?” he
asked.
“Honestly, I don’t know.”
“You had nothing in mind?”
“I just didn’t want to lose you,” she whispered.
“You can’t lose me if you want me around. It’s that simple.” He grabbed the remote then turned on the TV. “Let’s see if anything good is on.”
“I only get cable.”
He cringed. “Food network it is.”
When Abby cuddled beside him, she didn’t feel awkward. It felt right, comfortable. Her eyes became heavy when she snuggled next to him, the warmth of his skin comforting her. She listened to his light laugh as he watched the program. It lulled her to sleep.
When she felt her body move, she stirred. Toby moved her and lay beside her, pulling a blanket over their bodies. His arm hooked around her waist and held her close.
Abby opened her eyes and saw him staring at her. His face was stoic and expressionless.
“Do you always sleep with men you don’t trust?” he whispered.
It took her a moment to organize her thoughts. “No.”
“Then you trust me,” he said simply. “And you should. I would never hurt you. If you ever feel scared, lost, or hurt, you can always run to me. I can protect you from everything and anything. All you have to do is ask.”
She hooked her arm around his waist then wrapped her leg over his hip. The couch was small and they had to snuggle together to fit on the cushions. But she didn’t mind. “You’re the first man I’ve brought to my apartment—besides Paul.”
“Since when?” he asked.
“A year.”
He pulled a loose strand from her face. “And I hope I’m the last.”
Chapter Twenty One
When Abby woke up, she was still in Toby’s arms. Her mind had woken, but her body was unresponsive. She wanted to lay there all day, snuggled in Toby’s strong arms.
“Good morning,” he whispered.
She stretched slightly then pressed her face against his chest. “Morning.”
His fingers rubbed her back gently. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah,” she said with a deep sigh.
“You’re the first woman I’ve slept with and didn’t actually sleep with.”
“Is that a good thing?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I just know it’s a rare thing.” He brushed her hair out of her face while he looked at her.
“Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.” His palm rested on her neck. “I just admitted I’m obsessed with you.”
She smiled. “Have you always slept around?”
He nodded. “I’ve always been that way. It’s just easier, simpler.”
“Is that what you want from me?”
A grin stretched across his face. “If it were, I would have given up a long time ago.”
“So you want a relationship from me?” she asked quietly. She liked Toby, but she wasn’t ready for that. She would have to reject him.
“I want whatever you’re willing to give.”
She sighed. The beautiful night with Toby was over. Now she was back to reality. She was broken and shattered, unable to love anyone. She pushed everyone away because she had to. “Toby…”
“No.” He stared her down. “No.”
“No what?” she asked.
“I know where this is going. And I’m not letting it happen.”
Her air locked in her lungs.
“Will you have dinner with me tonight?”
“Uh…”
“Abby, come on. You know me. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
She sat up. “This was a bad idea…”
“What?” He grabbed her arm and pulled her to his lap.
“Toby, you seem like a really great guy, despite being an asshole most of the time.” He smiled at her comment. “But I’m not available. I can’t commit to someone. I don’t want to commit to someone. You’re wasting your time with me if you want something more. It will never happen.”
“So, you never want to get married?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say never…but no, not in the near future. I’m a box of shattered glass, damaged goods. Don’t waste your heart on me.”
“You aren’t damaged goods.” He looked her straight in the eye. “You aren’t.”
“But I am, Toby. There are seven million people in this city. Go find someone else.”
He pulled her face close to his. “What if I don’t want someone else?”
“Then…you’re screwed.”
He smiled. “I don’t accept that. I want you, just you.”
“I don’t want to hurt you…”
“You won’t,” he said. “And don’t worry about me.”
“It’s hard not to.”
“And why is that?” He pressed his face close to hers, his lips just inches away.
“I…”
“Because you care about me—a lot.”
“Of course I do,” she whispered.
“And why is that?”
She shrugged “I don’t know.”
“I think you do.” He leaned in and kissed the corner of her mouth. The kiss was long and sweet. His lips didn’t move, just pressed against her skin. It took her breath away nonetheless. Her mouth quivered slightly when they touched. When Toby pulled away, his eyes bore into hers. “That’s why.”
“I…uh…”
“More wise words, huh?” he said with a laugh.
Abby couldn’t force the words out.
“I’m taking you out to dinner tonight,” he said. “Be ready at seven.”
“But…”
“No. Be ready at seven.” He looked at the time on his watch. “I need to get to work.”
“Oh yeah…”
He stood up then brushed the wrinkles out of his shirt. “Thanks for letting me crash here. I liked it.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you know you snore?”
“I do?” she asked.
He nodded. “It’s cute. Quiet like a pig.”
“Did you just call me a pig?”
“A cute one.” He smiled then pulled her to her feet. He wrapped his arm around her as he headed to the door. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Okay.”
He cupped her cheek then kissed her forehead. The feel of his lips burned her skin, like gasoline on a grill. The sensation pulled the air from her lungs, making her gasp. She even felt dizzy from the intimate touch. She wasn’t sure why it happened. He pulled away then looked at her. “Another first for me.” He walked out then disappeared down the hallway.
Abby was momentarily stunned before she realized she was late for work and changed in a rush. When she got to the shop, Fernan was already in his office. She hoped he didn’t notice, not that he would really care. She’d never been late before.
“Is everything alright, darling?”
She practically jumped out of her seat. “What? Huh?”
He eyed her suspiciously. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah…totally.” Her face reddened when she realized what she said. She sounded like an idiot.
He nodded slowly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah.” She nodded her head vigorously.
“Okay. Why were you late?”
“Uh…I couldn’t find anything to wear.”
“You could have come naked.” He winked at her. “I wouldn’t have minded.”
She smiled. “I bet not.”
“I’ll be in my office.” He walked back up the stairs and disappeared.
She released the air from her lungs. The guilt exploded inside her. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. She made it clear Fernan was free to see other people and so was she, but she’d never dated two guys at once. Did that make her a slut? She felt like one.
When she left work, Fernan escorted her outside.
“Have dinner with me tonight,” he said. “I miss you.”
“I can’t tonight. I already have plans.”
; “Then you’re mine tomorrow,” he said firmly.
“Of course.”
He kissed her gently before he got inside his limo. “I’ll see you then.”
Abby hurried home and rummaged through her closet, looking for something to wear. She didn’t really care how she looked on a normal basis, but for some reason she cared now. She grabbed a black dress with silver heels and a silver bracelet. After she put it on, she looked at herself in the mirror. The dress clung to her waist and swelled around her breasts. She deemed it the winner.
Toby knocked on her door, and the sound immediately made her feel nervous. She checked her hair and makeup again before she answered it.
“Damn…” He eyed her from top to bottom. “Holy shit, you’re hot.”
Her cheeks turned redder than ever before. No one had ever given her such a vulgar compliment.
Toby wrapped his arm around her waist and stared at her body. “I feel like I’m with a supermodel right now.”
“I don’t know about that…”
He pressed his face close to hers. “Would you judge me if I said I really want to grab your ass right now?”
“No…that sounds about right.”
“Since I’m a gentleman, I won’t.”
“You don’t always have to be one.” The words flew out of her mouth before she stopped them. Now she was redder than before.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said with a smile. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah.”
He grabbed her hand and locked his fingers with hers. The simple touch gave her bumps up and down her arm. “Let’s go.”
They left the apartment then walked down the street together. Toby was much taller than her, but slowed down his pace so she could keep up in her heels.
“Italian?” he asked.
“You can never go wrong with carbohydrates.”
“You got that right.” He walked into the restaurant then led her to a table in the corner. It was quiet inside, the conversations drifting across the room. Toby ordered a bottle of wine and two glasses.
“This place is nice.” She didn’t know what to say and felt the need to say something.
“I like it.”
When the waiter brought the wine, she practically chugged it.
“I like that you’re nervous around me. Although, I do miss that fiery attitude of yours.”
“It’s still there. Don’t ever doubt that.”
