Without Compromise

by Riker, Becky

The nurse looked at the monitors and down at Josie’s bandages, “Headache, nausea?”

  “No, but that water hurt my throat.”

  “Water?” Cora looked at Tag.

  He nodded at the cup on the bedside table.

  The nurse pursed her lips slightly, “She really shouldn’t have more than ice chips right away. I’ll get some in here in a minute. Do you want something for the pain in your throat?”

  “Not right now,” Josie shifted. “Can I sit up?”

  The nurse reached for the bed controls, “You can have your head elevated to forty-five degrees. No higher right now.”

  Tag slid down to allow for the incline.

  “I’m going to need to check all your bandages soon,” Cora shot a look at Tag.

  “Not yet,” Josie’s hand tightened on Tag’s.

  The nurse nodded, “Call me if you need anything.”

  “Tag,” Josie wasted no time, “what are you doing here?”

  He was hurt by her words. He hadn’t come with any expectations, but he had also assumed she would be glad to see him – that she would understand that he would be here for her.

  He chose the easy way out, “Molly called me.”

  He stood up and moved to the chair beside her bed. He would have taken back his hand, but she gripped it more firmly when he tried.

  “Thanks, Tag.”

  “Sure,” he looked down at his lap.

  “What do they say about my injuries? Anything permanent?”

  Tag shook his head, looking at her injured limb instead of her face, “The doctor doesn’t think so. You have a torn ACL and a broken wrist.”

  “Great,” she lifted up her left hand to inspect the cast. “Wonder how long this is going to take to heal.”

  “I think they said it would be six to eight weeks for the wrist. Not sure when they’re doing the surgery on your knee.”

  “You tore yours,” she reminded him of something he had told her. “How long did that take?”

  “A couple months before I was up and running again.”

  Josie pulled a face, “I’m going to have to get them to do it right away if I’m going to be ready for the shoot in February.”

  “I think they’re going to want to wait until they are sure your head is okay.”

  “Is that a wisecrack?” she forced him to really look at her.

  He shook his head, “No, but you really took a blow.”

  “Did I get a metal plate?”

  “Sorry,” he didn’t care for her joking about this. “No.”

  “How bad do I look?”

  “Not bad at all,” Tag swallowed hard. “You’ve never looked more beautiful.”

  “I didn’t take you for the sentimental type, Thaddeus,” she smiled.

  “You could have died, Josie,” he forced the words past his throat. “Please don’t joke around.”

  “Tag,” she shifted so she could get a better view of him, “Why are you rejecting Jesus?”

  He felt his eyebrows jump to his hairline. That was not the next thing he expected to come out of her mouth.

  “My biggest regret in leaving this earth would have been that I didn’t push you a little harder – that I didn’t find out why you aren’t interested in knowing God.”

  “That seems pretty trivial compared to leaving your family, your friends,” he knew she could hear the irritation in his voice, but he couldn’t quell it.

  “No, Tag, it isn’t trivial. I know all my family is heading to Heaven when they die. If I left them now, I would see them again eventually. If I left you now, I wouldn’t have that same assurance. If I had died today, I would have lost the chance to ask you why you weren’t even interested in God.”

  “In the first place,” he stood up and started pacing, “your accident was yesterday. In the second place, I don’t think God cares one way or another about whether he has a relationship with me.”

  She eyed him speculatively. Tag couldn’t begin to guess what she was thinking nor was he sure he wanted to know.

  “Would you like me to show you how to pray, Tag?”

  “What?!”

  “You said you didn’t know how to pray,” she stated simply.

  His jaw dropped, “I thought you were asleep.”

  Josie shrugged, “Must be true that people can hear you. I remember you saying you didn’t know how to pray.”

  Tag wasn’t sure how to answer that. It was one thing to say those things when you were all alone, but if she had heard everything he said, he was going to have to rethink the past twenty-four hours.

  “I don’t know, Josie,” he stood with his back to her. “I don’t really have anything to say to God.”

  Josie was silent so long he had to turn and look to see if she was still awake.

  “What if I said I couldn’t move my legs?” she pressed. “Then would you have something to say to God?”

  A vice clenched his heart, “Can you really not move your legs, Josie?”

  She exhaled a frustrated breath, “Tag, you were willing to pray when you were afraid for me, but you aren’t now. Maybe what you need to push you in the right direction is a little well-placed fear.”

  “What I need is to know the truth about your legs,” he ripped the sheet off the lower half of her legs and pinched the bottom of her foot.

  “Ouch,” she complained of his treatment, frowning hugely.

  Tag let out a sigh of relief, “Sorry.”

  She curled her good leg up under her, “Sheet, please.”

  He dropped the sheet back over her feet.

  “I told you it was hypothetical, Tag. I’m just wondering why you were willing to pray earlier and not now.”

  He shrugged.

  “Would it be easier to talk to someone else?”

  She didn’t understand that he couldn’t give his life over to some invisible, unknown being who may or may not care about Tag Madden. He was used to being in control. He liked being the one who could help everyone else, and he was not interested in reducing himself to a helpless state.

  “I can’t, Josie.”

  She held out her hand and squeezed his, “Can you call my parents? They’ll want to know I’m okay.”

  He nodded and took his phone out.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Josie wanted to cry. Tag had been so close. Maybe she should have stayed asleep longer – or pretended to stay asleep anyway.

  He had stepped out of the room to call Molly, but she could still hear his voice. He sounded tired, but she didn’t think he was – not physically anyway. It must be exhausting to run from God all the time.

  After the call, Tag poked his head in the room, “Cora would like to look at your wounds, so I’m going to run out and grab a few things.”

  Josie nodded, “Thanks, Tag.”

  Cora came in with a cart.

  “It looks like you’re going to perform a major procedure with that,” Josie quipped.

  “Hopefully not,” Cora lowered the head of Josie’s bed. “The last time I checked, everything looked good, but infection can set in quickly.”

  Josie braced herself for the pain that was sure to come with the nurse’s maneuvering.

  “Your husband seems intense,” Cora straightened Josie’s leg and poked at her thigh.

  Josie bit her lip to keep from crying, “We’re not married. Am I very bruised?”

  “Yes. What happened exactly? Your file says you fell off a car.”

  Josie laughed, “I imagine that has caused a question or two.”

  Cora opened a bottle, “Or three. This is going to sting.”

  Josie hissed when the liquid burned into a spot that was already sore.

  “I’m a stunt double,” she answered the question when the pain subsided.

  Cora stopped her motions, “Really?”

  Josie nodded, “I was supposed to ride on top of the car until I got to the overhanging tree, but something went wrong, and I got thrown off early.”

  “It doesn’
t look like you landed on grass.”

  Josie grimaced at the stinging liquid again, “No. Asphalt, I think.”

  “How fast was the car going?”

  “About twenty – maybe thirty.”

  Cora sniffed, “So much for the high life.”

  Josie laughed at the girl’s joke.

  Cora pulled the sheet back over her patient’s legs.

  “What’s the damage?” Josie asked her, needing to know what she was up against. “I know about the wrist and the ACL.”

  “You have abrasions up and down almost the entire length of your right leg. You also have some serious bruising in the pelvic region, on your back, and across your chest.”

  “Safety harness,” Josie laughed.

  “I suppose it would have been worse without that.”

  Josie wasn’t going to mention her version of the story until she spoke with Ken – and possibly her attorney.

  “What do they say about my head?”

  “Strangely enough,” Cora was typing something on the computer, “you only suffered a mild concussion even though you had a nasty gash back there.”

  “It itches,” Josie admitted.

  Cora looked sympathetic, “It may get worse before it gets better. Does it hurt?”

  Josie nodded, “Mostly in the front, though.”

  “I can get you something for that. Do you have any other pain?”

  “Nothing more than you would expect. Usually I just take ibuprofen, but I suppose that’s a no-no.”

  Cora nodded, “A definite no-no right now. Have you had many hospitalizations?”

  “None. I haven’t even broken a bone doing this. Well, until now, that is.”

  “Is your husband – sorry – fiancé in this work as well?”

  “Tag is a cop, actually,” she felt her heart pick up its pace just because she was speaking about him. “We’re not engaged though.”

  Cora frowned, “I thought your sister said something about him being your husband.”

  Josie didn’t doubt her sister would allude to something like that if she thought it was for the best.

  “Is there a rule about who can visit?”

  “Not really. Was she afraid they wouldn’t let him?”

  “With Molly, one can only guess. Tag and I aren’t even dating – not really. He’s actually my sister’s neighbor. That’s how we met.”

  Cora leaned on the doorframe, “The nurse before me said he was here all night.”

  Josie had figured as much.

  “And you’re not dating?”

  “Don’t get any ideas,” Josie warned the woman away with a chuckle. “He’s not available.”

  Cora smirked, “You don’t want him, but you don’t want anyone else to have him?”

  “I never said I don’t want him,” Josie wondered how to end the conversation.

  “Girl, nobody is going to believe he doesn’t want you.”

  “We have different beliefs,” Josie finally offered though she didn’t know why. It wasn’t like her to open up to complete strangers.

  Cora nodded, “I can see how that could get tricky.”

  “Knowing that it won’t work and telling my heart to give up on him are two different things.”

  Cora’s smile was sympathetic, “Maybe it’ll still work out.”

  Josie knew it wasn’t going to happen unless Tag could humble himself. And that was going to take something more powerful than her accident.

  Cora left her to her own thoughts, but Josie didn’t mind. She found a Bible in the nightstand and opened it to the twelfth chapter of Hebrews. The first two verses had a powerful impact on her right after she first told Tag she couldn’t date him.

  She searched for the verses again. Her fingers well knew the way, so it didn’t take long.

  “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

  Josie knew what the race set before her was. She knew she had to live a life pleasing of the One who had saved her. She also knew that Tag was hindering her in that goal.

  Josie felt almost sick at the thought of labeling Tag as a hindrance, but it was the truth. She loved him so much she had considered ignoring his rejection of the truth. She put a finger in the pages and grabbed at a tissue.

  “Hello, sleepyhead,” her dad’s chipper voice greeted from the doorway.

  Josie dabbed at her tears, “Hi, Dad. I thought you were going to be at Grandma’s for a week.”

  He took the chair, “I planned on it, but it seemed there was something more urgent.”

  She reached out her hand, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to end up in here.”

  He took her hand and squeezed her fingers, “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m good.”

  Her mom stepped into the room, “Hello, darling. I love what you’ve done with your hair.”

  Josie touched the edge of the bandage, “I suppose I should get a mirror to see exactly how bad it is.”

  Doris shook her head, “Sometimes it’s better not to know.”

  Josie laughed, “That bad, huh?”

  Her mother looked her in the eye, a question looming. Josie shrugged.

  “Sol, would you excuse us?”

  He stood up, “Just when I was getting comfortable.”

  Doris reached out and took the Bible from Josie’s hands, “You find something interesting?”

  Josie didn’t have to respond. She knew her mother would see what she was reading.

  “Does this pertain to someone in particular?”

  “I’m not dating him, Mom,” she insisted. “And he knows it.”

  “But he keeps coming back.”

  “I don’t think he’s really hoping I’ll change my mind. He doesn’t even ever ask me to change my mind.”

  “Maybe he’s changed his mind.”

  Josie wasn’t sure what her mother meant.

  “Maybe he’s found he’d just like to be friends.”

  “No,” Josie shook her head. “That’s not it. He’s in love with me, Mom. I can see he is. I don’t think he would have come down here to sit with me if he weren’t.”

  Doris smiled, “I’m glad you’re so certain of that.”

  “I am, but the truth is, I’m never going to stop loving him either.”

  Doris leaned back in the chair and just listened.

  “How am I supposed to deal with that? I haven’t seen him in a couple weeks – not since the situation with Molly and Brandon. I’ve missed him constantly.”

  “You didn’t guard your heart in the beginning, and now you’re paying the price.”

  Leave it to Doris to cut to the chase.

  “I know, Mom.”

  “Is it harder to see him or not see him?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Are you, by seeing him occasionally, putting yourself in danger of turning away from what you know is right?”

  Josie shook her head, “I don’t know. It’s not like I seek him out.”

  “Maybe you should tell him not to visit while you’re in here.”

  “Mom,” she sobbed, “that would crush him. I can’t do that to him.”

  “But are you strong enough to say goodbye again once you get out of here?”

  Josie closed her eyes. She knew her mother had a point, but the situation was terrible, and a decision couldn’t be made simply by weighing all the logical points.

  “Another thing you need to consider is that you may be keeping him from the truth by continuing to see him while he is still rejecting Jesus.”

  Josie reared back as if she had been slapped.

  “Do you think he sees Jesus in you, Josie?”

  She shrugged, “I hope so.”

/>   “So he gets a taste of Christ without having to make a commitment, and he gets a close personal relationship with you that fills his need for an intimate connection. Why would he need to surrender to Christ?”

  “I’ve tried to get through to him, Mom,” Josie didn’t know if her mother could understand what she was saying through the blubbering, but she kept speaking. “I told him how it hurts me to know he isn’t going to be with me in Heaven. He just doesn’t think he needs Jesus. He doesn’t think he needs anyone.”

  “I’m sorry about that, darling. There is only one thing we can do.”

  “Pray,” Josie knew she sounded sullen about that option.

  Doris laughed as she stroked her daughter’s cheek, “It is the first and best thing we can do in any situation, but, in this case, it really is the only thing we can do.”

  “How do I even pray, Mom? I’ve already been praying for Tag’s heart to soften. I don’t want to pray that I stop loving him.”

  “We pray that Tag will see his need for a Savior and that you’ll know how much you should see Tag, that you will have strength to follow God’s plan for your life and that you don’t get tangled up in sin.”

  Josie grabbed a new tissue to swipe at her tears. Then she reached for her mother’s hand to follow that wise advice.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Tag had to get out of there. He knew he had some thinking to do, but it was better not to tell Josie that. She already thought he was losing it. Maybe he was.

  He had nearly had a breakdown the previous afternoon. He couldn’t even speak to the nurses and doctors about Josie. Usually, he was the one who was calm and in control, and he didn’t like to see this side of himself.

  He found himself in the gift shop, not sure how he had ended up there.

  “May I help you?”

  Tag shook his head in answer to the volunteer’s question, “Just looking – I’m waiting for a friend.”

  Tag decided to order some flowers for Josie while he was in there. On a whim, he picked up another item and paid for his order.

  “Would you like that sent to Ms. Drake’s room as well?” the woman pointed to the small book in Tag’s hand.

  “No, thanks,” he clutched it to himself. “I’ll keep this with me.”

  He felt like a coward, but he wrote a message on the card for Josie and left the hospital.