Another powerful vision in this session was that of a figure walking in a wide, beautiful river, in a deep, broad valley. Easter lilies grew up through the river's surface and the river flowed gently and quietly. The valley was surrounded by very high mountains with many, many watersheds coming down into the valley floor. Into this scene came a voice: "The river of life flows toward the mouth of God." He wanted very much to be in the river and could not tell whether he was walking in the river or if he was the river. The river moved and as it moved toward the mouth of God, hoards of people and animals—all of creation—came down the watersheds and poured into the main stream of the river of life.
As this session came to an end, and he once again felt himself oriented in the therapy room where he had started, he continued to feel filled with awe, humility, peace, blessedness, and joy. He had the distinct conviction that he had been with God in the energy center of the universe. He still had the strong feeling that all life is one and the river of life does in fact flow into God and that there are no distinctions between people—friends or enemies, black or white, male or female: all are one.
The above is the narrative of a clergyman describing a deep experiential session in which he confronted the fourth perinatal matrix. While his imagery and symbolism are decidedly Christian, the same essential themes of these experiences occur again and again with people of all religious and ethnic backgrounds while reliving BPM IV. The theme of death and rebirth is prominent here, as are the confrontations with wrathful demons and divine beings, the identification with all human suffering, and revelations concerning the nature of the universe itself. Like the other matrices, BPM IV is a combination of memories of the most basic biological events associated with birth and their spiritual and mythological parallels.
Biological Realities
The biological basis for BPM IV is the culmination of the struggle in the birth canal, the moment of birth itself, and the situation immediately following delivery. As the journey through the birth canal approaches its end, head and shoulders emerge, and then the body is born. (In a breech birth, of course, the feet emerge first.) All that remains from the original union with the mother is the connection through the umbilical cord. Finally, the umbilical cord is cut, which severs forever the biological link—unity with the maternal organism.
When we take our first breath, our lungs and respiratory pathways open and unfold; the blood that had been oxygenated, supplied with nourishment, and cleansed from toxic products by the mother's body is now redirected to our own lungs, gastrointestinal system, and kidneys. With these major physical acts of separation completed, we begin our existence as anatomically separate individuals.
Once physiological balance is reestablished, this new situation is a significant improvement over the previous two stages, BPM II and BPM III. However, compared to how things were before the birth process began (BPM I), some conditions are worse. Biological needs that were automatically satisfied while we were still in complete union with our mother's body are no longer taken care of on a continuous basis. During the prenatal period, the womb provided security all the time; after we are born the protective figure of the mother is not always present. No longer are we always shielded from temperature extremes, disturbing noises, changes in light intensity, or unpleasant tactile sensations. Our well-being is critically dependent on the quality of mothering, but even the best mother cannot reproduce the conditions of a good womb.
Death, Rebirth, and the Ego
As with the other three matrices, people reliving this last one often get in touch with very accurate details about their original birth experiences. Without previous intellectual knowledge of the circumstances of their delivery, people can discover that they were born with a forceps, or in the breech position, or with the umbilical cord wrapped around their neck. They can often recognize the type of anesthesia that was used during the delivery. And not infrequently, they can relive in detail specific events that happened after they were born. In many instances, we have had the opportunity to verify the accuracy of such reports.
BPM IV also has a distinct symbolic and spiritual dimension. Psychologically, the reliving of the moment of birth takes the form of the death-rebirth experience. The suffering and agony faced in BPM II and BPM III now culminate with "ego death," an experience of total annihilation on all levels—physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.
According to Freudian psychology, the ego is that part of us that allows us to correctly perceive external reality and function well in everyday life. People who have this concept of the ego frequently look upon the ego death as a frightening and tremendously negative event—as the loss of ability to operate in the world. However, what really dies in this process is that part of us that holds a basically paranoid view of ourselves and of the world around us. Alan Watts called this aspect, which involves a sense of absolute separateness from everything else, the "skin-encapsulated ego." It is made up of the internal perceptions of our lives that we learned during the struggle in the birth canal and during various painful encounters after birth.
In these early situations, the world seemed hostile to us, closing in around us, expelling us from the only life we had yet known, and causing us emotional and physical pain. These experiences forged in us a "false ego" that continues to perceive the world as dangerous and carries this attitude over into future situations even when the circumstances are radically different. The ego that dies in the fourth matrix is identified with a compulsion to be always strong and in control and to be constantly prepared for all possible dangers, even those we could never foresee and those that are purely imaginary. It makes us feel that circumstances are never right and nothing is enough and that we have to pursue various grandiose projects to prove something to ourselves and to others. The elimination of the false ego thus helps us to develop a more realistic image of the world and to build strategies of approaching it that are more appropriate and rewarding.
The experience of the ego death, marking the transition between BPM III and BPM IV, is usually dramatic and catastrophic. We might be bombarded with images from the past and present and in evaluating them we may feel that we have never done anything right and that we are absolute failures. We are convinced that we are pitiful and powerless and that nothing we might think or do would change our desperate situation. Our entire world seems to collapse and we lose all meaningful reference points in our lives—personal accomplishments, loved ones, support systems, hopes, and dreams all seem for naught. The route to freedom from the despair and helplessness we feel is through surrender—the very thing our egos are fighting. The experience of total personal surrender is a necessary prerequisite for connecting with a transpersonal source. Recovering alcoholics and addicts know this place as the moment where one admits complete powerlessness and discovers the Higher Power.
After we have hit bottom, we are suddenly struck by visions of blinding white or golden light of supernatural radiance and beauty. There is the feeling of space expanding around us, and we are filled to overflowing with a sense of liberation, redemption, salvation, and forgiveness. We feel purged as if we have just been released from all heaviness in our lives—guilt, aggression, anxiety, and other forms of difficult emotions seem to fall away. We may feel overwhelming love for our fellow humans, deep appreciation
for the warmth of human contact, solidarity with all life, and a sense of oneness with nature and the universe. The arrogance and defensiveness tend to fade away as we discover the power of humility, perhaps prompting us to be of service to others. Exaggerated ambition, as well as cravings for material wealth, status, and power suddenly seem childish, absurd, and useless vanities.
The Mythology of Death and Rebirth
When we confront BPM IV as adults in regression therapy, psychospiritual crisis, or intense meditation, it is not usually limited to the reliving of the biological and emotional aspects of birth. The death-rebirth theme includes many other types of experiences that share with it the same
quality of emotions and sensations. Typically, we see a combination of the original birth memories, symbolic images of birth, scenes from human history, identification with various animals, and mythological sequences. All these might be interspersed with memories of later events that reflect the parallels between BPM IV and certain types of experiences in our lives.
The spiritual and mythological symbolism associated with BPM IV is abundant and varied and, as with the other matrices, the imagery can draw from virtually any cultural tradition. The ego death can be experienced as being sacrificed to the terrifying Indian goddess Kali or to the Aztec sun god Huitzilopochtli. Or one may also feel identified with a baby thrown by its mother into the devouring flames of the biblical Moloch, together with other children who have met their death in this immolation ritual. I have already mentioned the legendary bird Phoenix as an ancient symbol of rebirth; visions of this mythological bird or identification with it are frequent occurrences in non-ordinary states. One can also experience spiritual rebirth as a union with specific deities, for example, the Aztec Quetzalcoatl, the Egyptian Osiris, or Adonis, Attis, and Dionysus from the Greek tradition. Identification with the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is among the most frequent experiential forms related to BPM IV, as illustrated by the narrative that opened this chapter. The bliss of this unexpected spiritual opening abounding in astonishing insights can be referred to as Promethean ecstasy.
Celebrating the Mystery of the Journey
A person who has overcome the enormous trials of the second and third matrices and is enjoying the experience of rebirth associated with the fourth matrix usually has triumphant feelings. These can be embodied by heroic figures from mythology, such as St. George slaying the dragon, Theseus defeating the Minotaur, or baby Hercules finishing off the dangerous constrictor snakes that attacked him at birth. Many people report visions of brilliant light with a supernatural quality radiating divine intelligence or experience God as pure spiritual energy permeating all. Others describe a translucent, heavenly blue haze, beautiful rainbows, or spectacular displays of intricate patterns resembling peacock feathers. There can be glorious images of divine epiphany featuring angels and other celestial beings. This is also a very appropriate time for the appearance of the Great Mother Goddesses of different cultures, radiating love and protection—Virgin Mary, Isis, Cybele, or Lakshmi.
Occasionally, spiritual rebirth can be associated with a very special form of experience—the Atman-Brahman union described in ancient Hindu texts. Here the person feels a deep connection with the innermost spiritual core of his or her being. The illusion of the individual self (jiva) fades away and the person enjoys reunion with his or her divine Self (Atman), which is also the Universal Self (Brahman), the cosmic source of all existence. This is a direct and immediate contact with the Beyond Within, with God, or with what the Upanishads refer to as Tat tvam asi ("Thou art That"). This realization of the fundamental identity of the individual consciousness with the creative principle of the universe is one of the most profound experiences a human being can have. Spiritual rebirth, as experienced through BPM IV, can re-open the gateway to the oceanic ecstasy of BPM I, and through it we experience cosmic unity.
The symbiotic union with the mother that typically follows the experience of rebirth ("good breast") is very close to that of the undisturbed intrauterine existence ("good womb"); they sometimes alternate or even coexist. The experience of BPM IV can be accompanied by feelings of merging with the rest of the world, thus resembling the experience of unity that we discussed in the context of BPM I. In this state, the reality surrounding us has a numinous quality. As we feel united with everything that is, the appreciation for natural beauty and simple, uncomplicated life takes precedence over most other concerns. The wisdom of teachers and systems of thought emphasizing these values—the philosophies of Jean Jacques Rousseau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Henry David Thoreau, or the teachings of Taoism and Zen Buddhism—seem self-evident and indisputable.
Under the most ideal circumstances, the ego death and rebirth can have far-reaching and often lasting consequences. It frees us from the paranoid, defensive posture toward the world that we may have as the result of certain aspects of our birth and painful experiences thereafter. It is as if we have been stripped of the filters and distorting lenses that ordinarily limit our perception of ourselves and the world. With the experience of rebirth, all our sensory pathways are suddenly wide open. Sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and tactile sensations all appear to be unimaginably more intense, vivid, and pleasurable. We may feel that we are really seeing the world for the first time in our lives. Everything around us, even the most ordinary and familiar scenes, seems unusually exciting and stimulating. People report entirely new ways of appreciating and enjoying their loved ones, the sound of music, the beauties of nature, and the endless pleasures that the world provides for our senses.
Higher motivating forces, such as the pursuit of justice, the appreciation for harmony and beauty and the desire to create it, a new tolerance and respect for others, as well as feelings of love, become increasingly important in our lives. What is more, we perceive these as direct, natural, and logical expressions of our true nature and of the universal order. They cannot be explained in terms of psychological defenses, such as the Freudian "reaction formation" (appearing to be loving when we are actually feeling aggression and hatred), or the "sublimation" of primitive instinctual drives (spending long hours helping others as a way to cope with our sexual tensions.) Interestingly, there are striking parallels between these new awarenesses and what Abraham Maslow called "metavalues" and "metamotivations." He observed changes of this kind regularly in people who had spontaneous mystical or "peak experiences." Positive aftereffects of this kind are most intense during the days or weeks immediately following spiritual breakthroughs and tend to weaken with time; however, on a more subtle level, they leave the person permanently transformed.
The individual who has successfully completed the death-rebirth sequence feels a sense of deep relaxation, quiet excitement, serenity, and inner peace. However, on occasion, the process does not run its full course and results in a temporary state resembling mania. The individual involved may feel overly excited, hyperactive, and euphoric to the point of a painful caricature. For example, after an incomplete breakthrough into BPM IV and the first onslaught of cosmic insights, some people run around loudly proclaiming their revelations, attempting to share them indiscriminately with those around them. One might see them proselytize, ask for special honors, try to arrange big celebrations, and make grandiose plans for changing the world.
This frequently happens in spontaneous psychospiritual crises where understanding, support, and guidance are usually not available. When the discovery of one's divinity remains attached to the body ego, it can take the form of a psychotic delusion of grandeur instead of a genuine mystical insight. This kind of behavior indicates that this person has not fully connected with BPM IV and has to work through and integrate some problematic elements from BPM III. After these residual negative aspects of BPM III are fully resolved, rebirth is experienced in its pure form, as quiet rapture with serenity and tranquility. This state is completely satisfactory and selffulfilling and does not require any immediate action in the world.
Where the Present Links Up with the Past
The common denominators linking memories from later life with the experiences associated with BPM IV include elements of major victory, success in difficult projects, and fortuitous escape from dangerous situations. We have repeatedly seen that while reliving the moment of birth, many people experience a memory replay of the end of a war or revolution, survival of an accident, or the overcoming of a major challenge. On a different level, they may also recall the termination of a difficult marriage and the beginning of a new love relationship. Occasionally, an entire series of later successes in life can occur in the form of a condensed review.
Uncomplicated birth seems to be the blueprint for coping wi
th all later difficult situations in life. Various complications, such as prolonged and debilitating delivery, the use of forceps, or heavy anesthesia appear to be correlated to specific problems in dealing with future projects of all kinds. The same is true for induced birth, premature delivery, and Caesarean section.
In terms of Freudian erogenous zones, BPM IV is associated with pleasure and satisfaction following the release of tension. Thus, on the oral level, the physical aspect of this state would resemble the satiation of thirst and hunger or the relief we feel when we terminate intense gastric discomfort by vomiting. On the anal and urethral level, it is the satisfaction brought about by defecation or urination after painful retention. On the genital level, this state corresponds to the pleasure and relaxation after a good sexual orgasm. And for women in labor it would be the orgastic release that can be experienced immediately after delivery.
Other Worlds, Other Realities
The area of the unconscious that we associate with these four perinatal matrices represents an interface between our individual psyches and what Jung called the collective unconscious. As we have seen, the experiences related to the different matrices often combine memories of various aspects of biological birth with sequences from human history or mythology and identification with various animals. These elements belong to the transpersonal domain, a realm of a new cartography that lies beyond the biographical and perinatal realms. This is the most controversial area presently being studied in modern consciousness research.
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