The sexual aspect of BPM III is usually experienced as a generalized eroticism, felt throughout the body, rather than felt only in the genitals. Many people describe a rapture similar to the beginning phase of sexual orgasm, though multiplied a thousand times. However, in this case, these sensations may go on for a prolonged period of time, accompanied by outrageous erotic imagery. Sexuality portrayed here is characterized by the enormous intensity of the instinctual drive and has no particular goal, or objective. It is certainly not the eroticism we experience in a romance, with deep mutual respect, understanding, and feelings of love that culminate in sexual union. Here the emphasis is on egotistic satisfaction of primitive
sexual urges, often of a deviant nature, in any way possible, with little regard for the partner.
The imagery and experiences of BPM III often have pornographic features or link sex to danger and filth. During these sequences, a person might identify with harem owners, pimps and prostitutes, or with any of a wide range of historical and legendary sexual figures, such as Casanova, Rasputin, Don Juan, or Maria Theresa. They may find themselves witnessing and participating in scenes from Soho, Pigalle, and other famous red light districts. Since this matrix also has a dynamic spiritual component, we may occasionally encounter seemingly contradictory experiences linking sex and transcendence. Here we might find visions of fertility rites, phallic worship, and temple prostitution.
What is perhaps most curious about BPM III experiences is the emotional proximity of death and sexuality. One would think that the threat of death would erase any libidinal feelings. However, where this matrix is concerned the opposite seems to be true. Observations from clinical psychiatry, experiences of people who had been tortured in concentration and prison camps, and the files of Amnesty International attest to the fact that there are strong interrelationships between the ecstatic rapture of sex, childbirth, and extreme threat to body integrity and survival. In the death-rebirth process, motifs related to all three of these areas alternate or even coexist in various combinations.
Encounters with the Grotesque, Satanic, and Scatological
Sometimes the sexual aspects of BPM III are experienced in a carnival atmosphere, filled with bright colors, exotic costumes, and seductive music. The characteristic combination of the motifs of death, of the macabre, and of the grotesque, with the joyful and the festive is a very appropriate symbolic expression for the state of mind immediately preceding rebirth. At this stage, long repressed sexual and aggressive energies are unleashed and the memory of a vital threat loses its grip on the body and the psyche. The popularity of Mardi Gras and similar events might well be due to the fact that besides providing amusement and a context for the release of pentup tensions, they also allow us to connect with the archetype of rebirth in the depth of our psyches.
Experiences occurring in the final stages of the death-rebirth process also offer interesting insights into certain forms of witchcraft and satanic practices. The struggle in the birth canal can be associated with visions reminiscent of Black Mass rituals and the witches' Sabbath. The intrusion of the satanic element at this particular time seems to be related to the fact that BPM III shares with these rituals a strange combination of emotions and physical sensations. The struggle in the birth canal involves extreme pain, an encounter with blood and bodily excretions, along with excitement and sexual arousal. It can bring the child close to death, but holds also the promise of liberation and transcendence. All these elements are intimately interwoven with the imagery of "serving the Dark God." The connection between such practices and the perinatal level of the unconscious should be taken into consideration in any serious study of satanic cult abuse, a phenomenon that seems to be attracting the increasing attention of professionals as well as of the general public. Another important experience in the same category is the temptation by evil forces, a motif that can be found in spiritual literature of many religions of the world.
Because of the newborn's close contact with bodily fluids, and occasionally urine and feces in the final stages of delivery, scatological impressions are an integral part of BPM III. In the death-rebirth process, scatological encounters can be greatly exaggerated to include all the least acceptable products that biology has to offer. While there might have been minimum contact with such materials at birth, the person reliving this aspect may have images of crawling through sewage systems, and literally wallowing in filth, drinking blood, or indulging in scenes of decay and putrefaction.
Mythological and Spiritual Themes
The mythological and spiritual aspects of this matrix are particularly rich and variegated. The titanic aspect can be expressed in the archetypal images of confrontation between the forces of good and evil or of the destruction and creation of the world. Another form of the struggle to find balance between good and evil is the archetype of the Divine Judgment. The aggressive sequences are often associated with images of destructive deities, such as Kali, Shiva, Satan, Coatlicue, or Mars. Particularly characteristic is a close identification with mythological figures representing death and rebirth that can be found in every major culture—Osiris, Dionysus, Persephone, Wotan, Balder, and many others. Our own culture's variety of this theme is the story of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Frequently, people facing BPM III have visions of crucifixion or they feel fully identified with Jesus on the cross. Scenes of sacrifice and self-sacrifice accompanied by the corresponding deities, particularly Aztec and Mayan, also abound in this stage.
There can be images of male and female deities associated with sexuality and procreation, along with visions of Bacchanalian sequences. I have already mentioned the motifs combining spirituality and sexuality, such as fertility rites, phallic worship, temple prostitution, ritual rape, and aboriginal rituals with emphasis on the sensual and sexual. The scatological is expressed mythologically by images such as Hercules cleaning the unimaginable filth of the stables of King Augias, or Tlacolteutl, Devourer of Filth, the Aztec goddess of childbirth and carnal lust.
The transition between BPM III and IV is often associated with visions of consuming fires. These flames destroy everything that is corrupt or rotten in our lives, preparing us for renewal and rebirth. It is interesting that in the corresponding stage of delivery many mothers feel that their entire genital areas are on fire. Reliving this stage in a passive role, people might feel that their bodies are burning or that they are passing through flames or purification. This is particularly well expressed in the phoenix myth, the fabulous bird of Egyptian legend who at the age of 500 years burns itself on a pyre. Then from its ashes another phoenix arises. The purifying fire is also characteristic for the religious images of purgatory.
BPM III and Art
Perhaps since the dawn of human history, the experiences of BPM III have been an infinite source of inspiration for artists of many different genres. The examples are so manifold that one can offer only a meager selection: the atmosphere of intense emotions bordering on insanity that are masterfully portrayed in the novels of Fyodor Dostoyevski and in many of William Shakespeare's plays, particularly Hamlet, Macbeth, and King Lear; the Dionysian element and the thirst for power in the philosophical works of Friedrich Nietzsche. Leonardo da Vinci's designs of diabolical war machines; the nightmarish visions of Francisco Goya; the macabre art of Hansruedi Giger; and the whole school of surrealist painting, are superb visual representations of the atmosphere of BPM III. Similarly, Richard Wagner's operas abound with powerful sequences capturing the atmosphere of this matrix. Among them are the orgiastic Venusberg scenes from Tannhäuser, the magic fire sequence from Walküre, and particularly the immolation of Siegfried and the burning of Valhalla in the final scene of Götterdämmerung. The combination of high drama, sex, and violence, characteristic of this matrix, is the magic formula for much of modern filmmaking.
The Link with Postnatal Experiences
As with the other perinatal matrices, BPM III has specific connections with memories from postnatal life. For peopl
e who have witnessed or participated in war, memories of the real horrors become entangled with the titanic, aggressive, and scatological aspects of this matrix. Conversely, a real life war experience can activate corresponding perinatal elements in the unconscious, which can later lead to serious emotional problems common to soldiers who have seen much combat. The specific form of excitement, mixed with fear and danger, links BPM III to thrilling but precarious situations, such as sky diving, car racing, roller-coaster rides, exotic hunting adventures, boxing, and wrestling. The erotic aspects of BPM III are connected with COEX systems involving intense sexual experiences under hazardous circumstances, as exemplified by rape, adultery, and other sexual adventures associated with high risk, or visits to red light districts. The scatological facet is associated with forceful toilet training, childhood mishaps involving urinary or anal incontinence, visits to junkyards, dumps, and other unhygienic places, and witnessing scenes of putrefaction or disembowelment in war and automobile accidents.
Experiences of BPM III are also accompanied by specific manifestations in the Freudian erogenous zones. These are related to a wide range of activities that bring sudden relief, pleasure, and relaxation after prolonged tension or stress. On the oral level, these activities include biting, chewing up, and swallowing food, as well as catharsis by vomiting. In the anal area, they involve the natural processes of defecation and passing gas; in the urethral region, the urination after a long retention. And finally, the corresponding genital phenomenon is the build-up toward sexual orgasm and, in women, the feelings encountered in the second clinical stage of labor.
The third matrix represents an enormous pool of problematic emotions and difficult sensations that can, in combination with later events in infancy and childhood, contribute to the development of a variety of disorders. Among them are certain forms of depression and conditions that involve aggression and violent self-destructive behaviors. Also sexual disorders and aberrations, obsessive-compulsive neuroses, phobias, and hysterical manifestations seem to have important roots in this matrix. Which of the many possible forms of emotional disorders would actually manifest seems to be co-determined by the nature of later biographical experiences that can selectively reinforce the aggressive, self-destructive, sexual, or scatological aspects of BPM III.
The Struggle Ends
As the agonizing struggle to escape from the birth canal nears the end, tension and suffering reach an apex. This is followed by an explosive release as the infant suddenly breaks free from the pelvic opening and takes its first breath. In general, this moment holds the promise of tremendous relaxation, but the degree to which this actually happens depends on specific circumstances surrounding the birth, such as the opportunity for loving contact with the mother, bonding through eye contact, and other factors. The experiential aspects of this transition are the focus of the next chapter.
5. THE DEATH AND REBIRTH EXPERIENCE—BPM IV
"The soul sees and tastes abundance, inestimable riches, finds all the rest and recreation that it desires, and understands strange kinds of secrets of God…. It feels likewise in God an awful power and strength which transcends all other power and strength: it tastes a marvelous sweetness and spiritual delight, finds true rest and Divine light and has lofty experiences of the knowledge of God…"
—St. John of the Cross, Canticle
He started to experience considerable confusion; waves of heat passed over him and he began to perspire. He started trembling and began to feel nauseated. Quite suddenly he was at the top of a roller coaster, gradually being drawn to the precipice, then losing control and plunging downward. An analogy came to his mind; it was like swallowing a keg of dynamite with the fuse already lit. The keg would soon explode and there was nothing he could do about it. It was completely out of his control.
The last thing he could remember hearing as his roller coaster slid over the precipice was the roar of music that sounded as if it came from a million earphones. His head was enormous and he felt as if he had a thousand ears, each one bringing in different music. This was the greatest confusion he had ever known in his life. He was dying right there, and there was nothing he could do about it. The only thing to do was to go toward it. The words trust and obey came through to him, and in what seemed like a flash he was no longer lying on the couch and did not have his usual identity. Several scenes began to take place all at once.
In the first scene he was plunging down into a swamp filled with hideous creatures. These creatures were moving toward him, but they were unable to reach him. The best way he could describe this roller coaster ride, plunging into a complete loss of control, was to compare it to walking on an extremely slippery surface. There would be some firm surfaces at first, then nothing was firm, everything slippery, nothing to hold on to, and then he was falling, spinning farther and farther into oblivion. He was dying.
But suddenly he was standing in the middle of the square in a medieval town. The square was surrounded by the façades of Gothic cathedrals. He saw all the gargoyles, eaves animals, people, animal-human creatures, devils, and spirits—all of them, he thought, like figures in a Hieronymus Bosch painting—coming down from their niches in the cathedrals. They were marching toward him!
As all these creatures pressed in upon him he began to experience intense agony and pain, panic, terror, and horror. There was a line of pressure between his temples, and he was dying. He was absolutely certain he was dying. And then he died. His death was completed when the pressures in his head finally overwhelmed him and he was expelled in a great rush into another world.
The new world he encountered was nothing like the previous ones. Now the panic and the terror were gone. There was a new anguish, but he was not alone in this anguish. He was somehow participating in the deaths of all people. He began experiencing the passion of Jesus. He was Jesus but he was also Everyone and they were all making their way in a dirge-like procession toward Golgotha. At this time in his experience there was no longer any confusion. His visions were perfectly clear.
The sorrow he felt was just agonizing. Then he became aware of a tear of blood forming in God's eye. He did not actually see God's eye, but he saw the tear and it began to flow out over the whole world as God himself participated in the death and suffering of all people who had ever lived. The procession moved toward Golgotha, and there he was crucified with Christ, and with all people, on the cross. He was Christ; he was all people. He was crucified and he died.
Immediately after everyone died he heard the most heavenly music he had ever heard in his entire life. He heard the voices of angels singing, and all the people who had died began to slowly rise. This was like birth; the death on the Cross happened, and then there was a swishing sound as the wind rushed from the Cross into another world. Everyone around him began rising and the crowds of people became great processions in enormous cathedrals, surrounded by candles and light and gold and incense. He had no sense of a separate identity at this time. He was in all the processions, and all of the processions were in him. He was every man and every woman.
Along with everyone around him he began rising toward a light, higher and higher, past majestic white marble pillars. The crowds left behind the blues, the greens, the reds, the purples, and the gold of the cathedrals and all the colors in the garb of the people. They rose into whiteness, moving between great pure white columns. The music soared, everyone was singing, and then there occurred a vision. This vision was unlike anything that had happened so far; it had a special quality that convinced him that he had been given a vision. The resurrection garment of Christ touched him. Yet, it did not touch just him; rather, it touched all people and yet in touching all it touched him.
When the garment touched him, several things happened all at once. He became very small, as small as a cell, as tiny as an atom. All the people became very humble and they bowed down. He was filled with peace and feelings of joy and love. He loved God completely. While this was happening the touch of the garment was like a h
igh voltage wire. Everything exploded, and it exploded the people into the highest place there is—the place of absolute light. Suddenly there was silence. The music ceased. All sound ceased. It was like being at the absolute center of the energy source. It was like being in God—not just in God's presence but in God, participating in God.
This did not last for a long time—though he became aware that time meant nothing at all during this experience—and they began the descent. The world into which they were now descending was like no other he had ever known before, a world of great beauty. Majestic choirs were singing and during the Sanctus, the Glorias, and the Hosannas an Oracle's voice could be heard: "Want nothing, want nothing," and "Seek nothing, seek nothing."
During this period many other visions occurred. One major vision involved looking down through the earth to the foundations of the universe. He went down into the depths and discovered the secret that God is praised from the depths as well as from the heights. Also, in the depths of the universe the light can be seen. In the depths of the universe are many prison cells. As he went through these cells their doors opened and the prisoners came forth praising God.
The Holotropic Mind Page 9
