Paradigm (Travelers Series Book 3)

by Claudia Lefeve

“She died in an airplane crash when you were five.”

  I take a deep swallow as the information sinks in. For most of my life, I believed myself to be an orphan. For years, I lived in that delinquent institution they called Dominion House for Girls. Now, I hear about a mother who I never knew of and an aunt. Logically, I know I shouldn’t feel sadness upon hearing this, but I feel as though I’ve just been hit with a huge loss.

  “Maggie.” I repeat the name again. Now, why does that name ring a bell? “Look, I’m sorry, Cooper. I’m trying to keep an open mind about all this, really I am. I guess I’m just not ready to believe.” Not that there is even a remote chance that I could believe a story like this, even if the news hits me like a ton of bricks. How can I? It’s entirely too fantastical to believe.

  “We’ve been through this before, you know. Back when you were still in high school. We sat here, at this very same coffee shop, and I asked you to trust me. In one timeline, you did and I took you back to your real home,” he continues. “Only something went wrong along the way. You’re still here because you made a different choice. The timeline was altered, and now here we sit.”

  “And that’s supposed to make me change my mind?”

  He smiles, obviously not deterred by my stubbornness. “You know, it was much easier talking you back then than it is now.”

  “Well, I’m probably not as naïve as I was back then.”

  And boy was I naïve back then. I remember thinking he was searching for me to tell me that my real family still existed and that he was there to take me to my real home. Jaime was the voice of reason, and finally I let the fantasy go. After he stopped coming around, I lost all hope that there was something more meant for me.

  “Maybe not, but you were able to feel the spark between us. It has nothing to do with naïvety, darlin’,” he moved closer to me. “You simply had the ability to connect better with others. Something you’ve seemed to have lost.”

  The admission stuns me for a second. Some would say that’s why I have commitment issues, and it’s not that I don’t want to connect with others, but in truth I’m just afraid of being left alone. And he’s wrong. I do and still feel that connection—that spark—between us. The kind I feel lacking in my relationship with Alex. I felt it when I saw Cooper at the bar the night of my birthday. I had the same feeling when he sat down just now to talk to me. It’s the only reason why I chose to hear him out.

  “What is it exactly you want me to do with this information? Go back to some alleged other reality?”

  “Pretty much.”

  Is this really what I’ve waited all this time to hear? Perhaps Jaime was right and he really is dangerous. Funny, because I don’t get that feeling from him, but everything he just said is evidence to the contrary. Another reality?

  “Yeah, sure, okay. I’ll just drop everything I have going on right now and join you on your spaceship,” I start. “Is that what you expect me to say?”

  He rises from his seat. “I know it’s hard to understand it all right now, so I’ll give you some time to mull things over.”

  My eyes revert to the locket still on the table, still exactly where I’d placed it for Cooper to take back. I’m thinking Cooper left it intentionally. Even though I’m not sure I believe him, I gingerly pick up the locket and put it on. I slip it beneath my t-shirt for added measure. It doesn’t mean anything if I wear it, right?

  Chapter Six

  The Jewel of Denial

  Present Reality

  With the conversation Cooper and I shared this morning, the only thing I want to do is go home after work today and process everything he said. I can’t believe I managed to get through the work day without thoughts of alternate realities and time-travel scenarios slipping in and out of my mind, let alone agreeing to meet Jaime for happy hour at Cashen’s.

  This is totally not the time for me to be engaging in any type of social setting, especially with Jaime—she always seems to know when something’s up—but a promise is a promise. If I don’t mention any strange men approaching me, perhaps I can get by with just talking about my boring day at work.

  I arrive at Cashen’s and see Jaime already waiting for me at our favorite booth, her favorite wine in hand as she waves me over with the other.

  “Okay, what’s the scoop? You ignored my calls all day today, and even Alex is calling me to ask if there’s anything he should be worried about,” Jaime begins before I even sit down at the table. “There isn’t, right? He said you’ve been acting kind of distant for weeks now.”

  The woman must be a wizard. How does she always manage to figure out when things are amiss? Fortunately, she’s steered the questioning around me and Alex, so I’ll just keep her attention on that.

  “Relax, Jaime. You do know I work for a living, right? And yes, everything is fine. I’ve just gotten a little behind these last couple of days.” I signal to the bartender to let him know I was having my usual Diet Coke. While I liked to hang out with Jaime for happy hour, there is no way I could afford, both physically and financially, the price of drinks. Every once in awhile was fine, but not on a paralegal’s salary. “So where’s Brett? You two are usually joined at the hip.”

  This is true. Ever since they met last month, she’s always going on about Brett this, Brett that. Usually every conversation with Jaime is about her and what’s going on in her life. Not to complain about her new boyfriend or anything, it’s just odd he isn’t here. Ever since they began dating, I’ve started to consider him a friend. He’s a nice guy and I hope Jaime’s high-strung nature doesn’t scare him away.

  “Oh, please, we just started going out. He’s still stuck at work, and besides, it’s not my relationship you should be worried about,” she says. “Look, I’m your best friend, and I’m going to tell it to you straight… you cannot mess up what you’ve got going on with Alex. First off, the guy is gorgeous and two, he’s in law school. They don’t come any better than that. Besides, doesn’t it make you feel a little bit good that after all this time the man is completely and utterly nuts about you?”

  She’s right. It’s not fair to Alex. Sure, I’ve been distant lately. It started way before Cooper came back into my life. Ignoring him yesterday wasn’t the first time I’ve left him hanging. I’ve been finding excuse after excuse to distance myself from him, and I can’t figure out why. It’s not anything that he’s done, far from it. He couldn’t be more of a model boyfriend. There’s something wrong with me. Like I’m broken.

  But that doesn’t excuse Jaime’s current behavior. She’s acting like I’ve been incommunicado with her for weeks instead of just one day. And today of all days she decides she wants to discuss my life instead of her own. I think I like it better when she’s preoccupied with no one other than herself. “I told you already, everything’s fine. And don’t worry about me and Alex. I’ve just got a lot on my plate with work and all.”

  Jaime eyes me for a second, watching me sip my Diet Coke. I can feel her eyes pierce through my skull, just trying to figure out what’s going on in my head. There really isn’t anything I’m hiding from her, I’m just not ready to tell her that Cooper is back in my life. In fact, I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell her about him, period.

  “What’s that?” Her eyes shifted from my face to my neck.

  For a second, I had forgotten about the locket Cooper gave me this morning at the coffee shop. Since then, I’d had yet to take it off. “This? Oh nothing. Just a locket.”

  “Was it a birthday gift from Alex?” She continued to eye the locket around my neck with scrutiny.

  God! Would she stop with the twenty questions for a second and let me enjoy the evening? Does everything have to be so dramatic with her? It’s a locket for crying out loud, not an albatross! “Nope. Just something I picked up.”

  And the wary stare continues. “You? Go shopping without me? Etta, you hate to shop. That isn’t from someone else is it? If it is, they don’t have very good taste. I mean, it’s all tarnished.”<
br />
  My face slowly begins to build up that burning sensation I’m all too familiar with and I start to experience that feeling I used to get when I was a kid. I remember whenever I got all worked up, bad things would happen. Stuff would go flying and people would get hurt—like the time Lester, one of my fosters, stumbled down the stairs and suffered a heart attack. It’s been years since anything like that’s happened, and I’ve gotten really good at suppressing those emotions. That, and I try never to get into a confrontation with Jaime. She’s annoying and self-absorbed at times, but she’s my best friend and I’d hate myself if I accidentally hurt her.

  “No. I told you, I picked it up. It was pretty, so I bought it, okay?”

  “Jeez, relax. I was just asking. What’s gotten into you? First, your boyfriend starts calling me for relationship advice, and now you’re being all evasive towards me.”

  “Sorry,” I mumble. The surge of energy I felt before is now beginning to subside. “I’ve just been dealing with a little bit of stress from work.”

  “Big case?”

  Now we’re getting to some neutral topics. I rarely rag about work, mainly because Jaime’s the one who helped me land the job and I’m happy to have one that pays decent, so Jaime doesn’t really know what a typical day for me at the office is like. “Yeah, we got a divorce settlement coming up. Seems like it’s taking up all my time.”

  She take a long sip of her wine. “Too bad. Both for you and the couple splitting up.”

  “I’ll manage,” I say, forcing a grin.

  “Good, because I texted Alex before you got here and he’s on his way. You need to put on a happy face and let him know you guys are still solid. I can’t have the only person I care about in this world being miserable.”

  I don’t like Jaime meddling, but I’m glad she decided to this time, asking Alex to join us. Maybe I can smooth things over a little. At least it’s a start. I feel pretty bad about the way I’ve distanced myself from him, not to mention practically ignoring him after my birthday, especially when he went through so much trouble to make it a great day.

  “Oh, come on, Jaime. Quit being such a drama queen. I’m not miserable for one, and I can’t be the only one you care about. What about Brett?”

  “Yeah, but you’re the only one in this world that matters. I made a promise to take care of you.”

  Her take care of me? This is certainly news to me. I’ve never needed anyone to protect me. What in the world makes her think she’s responsible for my well-being? It’s more like I took care of her all these years. “What? A promise to who? Seriously, Jaime, you don’t have to look out for me. I’m a big girl now, remember? I just turned twenty-two.”

  Jaime takes a deep sigh. “I know, but I’m still here. So I guess that means I’m still responsible for you.”

  Before I can ask what the hell she means by all that, I spot Alex coming into the bar. I have to remind myself to ask her about that later. I feel just a twinge of guilt as he comes towards us with a big grin on his face. He looks so happy to see me, while I sit here wishing I was at home mulling over everything Cooper told me. No—I promised myself I’d make an effort to be a better girlfriend and I’m sticking to that.

  “Hey, sweet girl. So glad Jaime dragged us out tonight. I feel like I haven’t seen my best girl in ages.” He stops to give me a kiss on the cheek before he grabs a seat. Perhaps absence does make the heart grow fonder. Sure, it’s only been less than twenty-four hours, but after the blast from the past I just experienced, it feels like weeks. Seeing Alex tonight reminds me how much I value our relationship. I can’t let my attraction to Cooper, nor his wild tales, ruin it.

  I inch myself closer to Alex in the booth. “I was just telling Jaime how swamped I’ve been at work.”

  “Must be,” he says. “Because I haven’t heard from you since your birthday.”

  “So what did you guys end up doing? Etta told me you had some big surprise for her. Did you take her someplace nice?” Leave it to Jaime to change the subject to something positive. At least she doesn’t mention the locket. Maybe she does take care of me after all, in her own way of course.

  “You bet! I took her to this cooking class. It’s run by the nicest lady.” Alex turns to me for confirmation. “What was her name again?”

  “Maggie, I think. “Maggie Thompson.”

  And with that, Jaime chokes mid-sip, as a drop of red wine spatters on her white blouse.

  “Jaime, are you okay?” I ask.

  She manages a few hacking sounds before answering. “Fine,” she manages to say between her coughing fit. “Went down the wrong pipe.”

  Immediately, I can tell she’s lying. For one, she doesn’t even care that her shirt is ruined, and two, I’ve known her long enough to know when she’s being evasive. Was it something Alex or I said? I don’t want to make a scene in front of Alex, so I add that on the list of things to discuss with Jaime later. It’s starting to look like she’s got a few secrets of her own.

  • • •

  Happy hour with Jaime and Alex was a nice distraction from the conversation I had earlier with Cooper this morning. Even if she did set it all up just to meddle in my relationship with Alex. She means well, and I can’t bring myself to be mad at her for caring.

  Though try as I might, I can’t seem to ignore all that Cooper me. Subconsciously, I play with the locket he gave me as I end the evening pondering what’s in store for me. What if everything he told me was true?

  I stop questioning long enough to take a long hard look at myself in the mirror. Funny, I don’t feel that much different. For some reason, I expected to, after being told I’m from an alternate universe. Am I really beginning to believe? My shoulders slump back down and I give myself one last look before heading to bed. The only thing that stares back at me are my eyes. They’re supposed to be the window to soul. I wonder if you get to keep the same soul wandering around the cosmos.

  Alex offered to stay the night tonight, but I just can’t deal with him right now. What I really want to do is pour my heart out and tell him about everything’s that happened, but something’s preventing me from doing it. I can just picture Alex listening to my story about my past with Cooper and his ridiculous claims. Sure, that’ll go over well. He’s at that stage in law school where everything must be viewed from an analytical perspective. And I can’t talk to Jaime about it because I’m afraid she’ll give me the same song and dance about Cooper being dangerous.

  Another reason for not allowing Alex to stay over is because of my sleeping habits. It’s actually been a point of contention anytime he crashes at my place. Every night, I have the same dream. Actually, it’s not the same dream, but rather the theme stays the same. Growing up an orphan, I never had the opportunity to go on family vacations or leave the city. But in my dreams, I traveled everywhere. When I wake up in the morning, it’s like I was really there. I carry with me memories that are filled with excursions to faraway lands and exotic locales. In other dreams, I find myself visiting people I’ve never met before.

  There is one dream in particular that still haunts me. It begins almost exactly at the point where Cooper and I are at Battle Grounds four years ago when he asks me if I trust him enough to go with him. Where, I don’t know, but in my dream I say yes. He takes me to another place where I have a family and a home. The finer details are a bit fuzzy, like faces and actual conversations, but it felt so real to me at the time. It still does. Perhaps this is why I can’t let go of what Cooper told me the morning. It’s beginning to sound like my dreams are coming true.

  So because of my dreams, I wake up exhausted, lightheaded even. Almost immediately upon waking up, I feel as if I have to take a nap—any doctor would probably say that’s why I have a fixation on caffeine. And I hate that Alex looks at me like a freak every morning, all sweaty and clammy. He doesn’t have to say it, I know it looks weird. I’ve tried explaining that they’re not night terrors, but as soon as he mentioned seeing a sleep specialist, I’ve stop
ped inviting him to stay over. It’s just easier that way. Sure, it puts an additional strain on the romance, but what’s a girl to do?

  Chapter Seven

  The Hurt Locket

  Present Reality

  I wake up this morning no different than I normally do: hair all frizzed and damp, face all flushed, and bed sheets soaked from sweat. Just a normal ordinary night of tossing and turning, at least that’s what my rumpled sheets indicate as I hop out of bed. I’m in desperate need of some coffee. No, Dr. Whatever, I don’t have a caffeine dependency. I just happen to love coffee.

  So today, I decide to head over to Battle Grounds a little bit earlier than usual to try to beat the morning rush. I find that showing up ten minutes early makes a huge difference. Even though I’m running slightly ahead of schedule, I hope I don’t bump into anyone I know, least of all Cooper. For once, I’d like to enjoy my coffee, alone, before heading off to a day full of legal briefs and client baggage.

  Since I’m not in a rush to get to the office, yet, I take time to savor their delicious brew of the day, when I see a familiar face walking up to me. So much for not running into anyone I know. My body instantly seizes at the sight of her. I shouldn’t feel apprehensive, but I still can’t shake the feeling I know her from somewhere. I have a feeling it has to do with my past. Damn Cooper for turning my life upside down, muddling my mind with nonsense. Now I think everything has a double meaning that stems from my harried past.

  The woman waves hello from the other side of the coffee shop. It’s a good thing she’s the one approaching me. I don’t know if I have the guts to go over to her first. I actually like the woman, but it’s just an odd feeling I have.

  “Well, hello there,” Maggie gushed. She obviously seems pleased to see me. “How are you and that strapping young man? Any plans to take me up on my offer for cooking classes?”

  The tension I first felt upon seeing her again subsides as I stifled a giggle. “We’re good, thanks. And about those classes,” I start to say. I do feel a little embarrassed at having promised Maggie I’d take her up on her offer of free cooking lessons. With Cooper coming back into my life, I’d just been a bit sidetracked and forgotten about her generous offer. “I have a lot on my plate right now. I’m not sure if I have the time.”