“Quit is not quite accurate. I was given leave so as to attend to personal matters… It is just that I have ended up returning sooner than I expected.”
“If it’s before Subaru came to the mansion… Three months ago, then? I’m happy to see you again, though.”
Emilia and Frederica smiled at one another, pleased to be reunited. Even then, Frederica hid her mouth behind her sleeve; maybe Subaru’s rude words had given her something of a complex about it.
Subaru was even more ashamed of his slip of the tongue, but Frederica spoke nothing of it as she motioned to the mansion with a hand.
“After being called back, I found the mansion an empty shell… I was completely at a loss. Fortunately, I was able to grasp the situation from a letter in the master’s office.”
“Letter?”
“Yes, a letter penned by Ram. Even though she had called me back, this was the only word she left… Perhaps I am being too soft on her in saying it is just like her?”
Frederica gave a strained smile. From that smile, Subaru felt the weight of years of familiarity and trust between her and Ram. Likely, she’d had a similar relationship with Rem.
“And the reason Ram called you back, Frederica?”
Subaru brushed aside the budding sentiment in his chest as he prodded Frederica onward. That said, the question had an obvious answer. The mansion had been on high alert with the Witch Cult aimed straight at it only a few days ago.
In other words, Ram had called Frederica back as emergency reinforcements for battle.
“By the time I returned, the mansion’s kitchen and garden were in a rather terrible state.”
“There was a compelling reason for that! Right, Emilia-tan?!”
“Wait, Subaru. It’s not like this is Ram’s fault. It’s just, an odd breeze seemed to blow through the mansion for some reason, more as time went on… I wanted to help, too, but…”
“A-ahh, that’s okay, it wasn’t anything you could have coped with, Emilia-tan…”
“Yeah… And Ram said, ‘This is nothing. Leave it to me. I shall manage somehow.’”
“Man, she really isn’t all she makes herself out to be! …No, when she said she’d manage somehow, she meant to throw it all onto Frederica’s shoulders from the start, didn’t she?! Ram, not that your self-assessment is wrong, but geez, try, damn it!”
It was a decision so like her, Subaru could practically see her snorting “Ha!” in the back of his mind. Emilia gave a pained smile at Subaru’s reaction and said, “But it’s so strange. Ram should have been working hard all the time you were gone, Frederica. I wonder why she was all a mess for only those d— Ah…”
After speaking about it that far, Emilia found her own answer. She’d surmised what had been happening at the mansion during Frederica’s absence.
That there was “someone” working with Ram to maintain the mansion.
“And without that, Ram couldn’t keep the mansion going by herself, so she…asked Frederica for help?”
Subaru sadly accepted the natural conclusion. The very fact that Ram had gotten into contact with Frederica was proof she didn’t remember Rem.
—No, he had more than enough reason to deduce as much. He didn’t need direct confirmation.
“I’ll take Rem to her room and explain to Frederica along the way. Emilia-tan, Otto’s waiting outside… Can I get you to go invite him in?”
“Mm, understood… You’ll be all right?”
“If Emilia-tan shows me a smiling face, I’ll give even a Archbishop of the Seven Deadly Sins a butt kicking.”
Emilia had a downtrodden expression on her, but Subaru spoke flippantly with a little smile. She proceeded to do as asked, heading out of the room to invite Otto, most likely waiting at the mansion’s entrance, inside.
Watching her back as she left, Subaru said, “Now, then…” and turned back toward the sofa as he said, “This is Rem, Ram’s little sister… You probably don’t remember her, right?”
“Unfortunately, I do not. However, there really is no room for any doubt.”
When Subaru, adjusting the sleeping Rem’s position on his back, posed that question, Frederica drew in her chin. Subaru sighed at her reply, indicating the corridor with a motion of his chin.
“We’ll talk on the way. I want to let Rem…sleep in her own room.”
“I understand. This way, please.”
Keeping her words to a minimum, Frederica opened the door as if to lead Subaru out. Together with her, Subaru headed to the mansion’s east wing—toward Rem’s bedroom.
“As far as I could tell, Rem and Ram are sisters that really get along…”
On the way to that room, Subaru told Frederica about facts lost to her: what kind of girl Rem was, what she’d been doing to that point in her life, just how lovely she was.
He spoke much like he had to Emilia on the road back to the mansion—
“”
As Subaru spoke to Frederica, he stated, and replied to, a number of thoughts inside his own head.
There had to have been a better way.
During the battle, he’d thought I’ve done the best I can. Somewhere, though, there had likely been a better, a more perfect outcome, one with the greatest possible results. And yet, Subaru had let it slip through his fingers.
If only he was smarter, surely Subaru would have noticed it.
As one example, the letter of goodwill that Crusch’s envoy had brought to Emilia. Subaru had concluded that this letter, the root of much misunderstanding because it was blank, was a plot by the Witch Cult, but in that, he had been mistaken.
At that point the Witch Cult surely hadn’t caught on to Subaru’s actions, and no opportunity had presented itself to swap one letter of goodwill for another. In the first place, sleight of hand such as swapping missives wasn’t the Witch Cult’s style; it favored more direct acts of violence, something Subaru knew better than anyone.
In that case, there could only be a single truth behind the blank missive.
“The contents of the letter of goodwill were written by Rem. I’m the one who asked it to be sent, so if Crusch handed it to the messenger…only the fact that it was handed over stayed the same, and only the contents were erased.”
That was the sloppy adjustment to the erasure of the memory of Rem from the world.
If only he’d noticed, if only he’d stopped to think more seriously about why the letter of goodwill was blank, if only he’d seen the truth behind it, he would have realized the tragedy that had befallen Rem.
Even if it was a tragedy occurring at a time when there was no turning back.
“That is a rather difficult story to believe.”
He arrived at the usual answer to his own question at the same time that Frederica, having finished listening to his story, quietly spoke those words to him. The words held no ring of denial behind them. She looked around the area.
“So this is her…Rem’s room. It is completely tidied up, but…”
When the two entered the room—Rem’s bedroom—it looked like a guest room, with all personal possessions removed. It was the same sight Subaru had seen previously, on the go-around when he had returned powerless after the White Whale had stolen Rem from him.
That time, too, Rem’s existence had been forgotten. Her bedroom had been just as clean and empty then as it had now become.
“Ram was probably dealing in her own way with the unnatural gap left by Rem being erased.”
The faint hint of her breath and the warmth of her body were the only proof that she was alive. The symptoms of a Sleeping Princess were to require no food or water—simply to breathe and to sleep.
“Master Subaru, if she must be cared for in any way, I shall…”
“I want to do it. Let me do it. It’s Rem’s first return to the mansion like this, so I have to…no, I want to do it. Sorry to be so selfish.”
Subaru put on a brave face and tucked Rem in bed, determined to do whatever he could for her. Subaru’s
words made Frederica pull back the outstretched hand she had offered him, narrowing her eyes.
“No, it is not selfish in the least. If anything, it makes my chest get a little tighter. For someone with eyes like a murderer, you are very kind, aren’t you?”
“Hey, don’t casually dis me like that, it really wounds my heart!”
When Frederica pointed out the look of Subaru’s eyes, his voice went shrill as she smiled mischievously. He immediately realized that she was paying him back for the rude words he’d spoken to her earlier. In a true sense, the exchange just then had fulfilled the conditions for reconciliation between them.
“To begin with, you won’t need to care for Rem. She doesn’t need food or even baths… But please, pay her as much mind as you can. That’s the only thing I ask.”
“I shall take that to heart. If she is Ram’s little sister, she might as well be my own. I wonder what kind of reaction the master and Ram shall have when they return?”
“I can’t read Roswaal’s… I don’t really want to think about how Ram will react.”
The sisters truly got along well. The older sister doted on the younger; the younger revered the older. It was a relationship filled with love.
He didn’t want to see that scene fracture before his eyes, even if its fracturing was a fact from which there was ultimately no escape.
“I understand about the master and Ram. As for the reason for their absence from the mansion, if it was the Witch Cult going on the move due to Lady Emilia’s entry into the royal selection…it is the natural decision to make.”
“Did you hear about the royal selection stuff before you stopped working?”
“Lady Emilia came to the mansion about half a year ago. I was still here at the mansion at the time. My being given leave was related to it as well.”
While Subaru put things in order at Rem’s bedside, Frederica continued preparing everything besides the bed. Subaru knit his brows, sensing that something was off about the conversation he was having with her.
“What do you mean by, your stopping working and taking a leave of absence was related to the royal selection…?”
“My duty was essentially to tidy up the master’s personal affairs for the royal selection.”
“Personal affairs?”
“It was clear that nominating Lady Emilia, a half-elf, as a candidate would invite troubles. Before that, the master sent those around him away. Even here at the mansion, he left only Ram, capable of defending herself… Ram and most likely Rem, making two.”
That answer accounted for the weird feeling Subaru had experienced upon first arriving at the mansion.
Considering the sheer size of Roswaal Manor, it would be nigh impossible to keep only the sisters Ram and Rem as servants. In actuality, Rem’s skill kept the mansion afloat, but still.
“Upon the master’s instructions, many servants were sent off to perform duties elsewhere. As a senior staff member, I assisted in this. In the end, I, too, left the mansion…though I ended up returning, as you can see.”
“…”
Frederica’s return to the mansion had been an effect of losing Rem. Subaru had already arrived at the answer to that question, but at the same time, hearing her words then and there made doubts sprout inside his chest.
Namely, Roswaal’s steps to prepare for the royal selection had been a far cry from his actions ever since.
“Hey, Frederica. How much has he actually told you?”
“Master Subaru?”
“From what you’re telling me, Roswaal made all kinds of preparations for the royal selection. It’s common sense that half-elves and the Witch Cult are connected, so he had to know it’d be dangerous. In spite of that…”
There, Subaru’s words trailed off as he continued to stare at Frederica.
“Where are his countermeasures against the Witch Cult, then? Rem and Crusch both said he had to have ’em. But I don’t think he was relying on me. And if not, why’d it come to…”
The sights of the people of Earlham Village, slaughtered and tormented by the Witch Cult, and Rem and Ram, casualties in the battle against the cult, came rushing to the forefront of his mind—such was the tragedy that had befallen the Mathers domain.
Where were the countermeasures in those scenes? Roswaal wasn’t anywhere to be found.
“If you know there was something, then…!”
“Unfortunately, I have no way to know the master’s thinking in its entirety. There are most likely only two people in this world that he deems worthy of trust.”
“Two people…? Who? Who are these two people Roswaal trusts?”
“—Ram, and the Great Spirit in the archive of forbidden books.”
According to Frederica, as far as she knew, there were two people who might know Roswaal’s intentions. He had no room to doubt the first. Ram, offering Roswaal her undivided fealty, was surely worthy of that trust.
However, the second possibility was a bolt out of the blue.
“The Great Spirit, in the archive of forbidden books…”
“A room inside this mansion separated from the rest via magic. Exactly how the Great Spirit separates the archive of forbidden books from the outside world via her own magic is…especially secret.”
Frederica’s respectful explanation left Subaru wide-eyed and at a loss for words. It was too far removed from his own recollections. But, unable to form any other reply—
“Her name is?”
With decisive certainty, Subaru posed that question to Frederica. Perhaps the reaction was not what she had expected, for Frederica seemed taken back for a moment. Finally, she replied:
“Lady Beatrice. That is the Great Spirit serving as the librarian of this mansion’s archive of forbidden books.”
5
The instant he turned the doorknob, somehow, he was sure.
As he walked around the mansion, his attention was abruptly drawn to the presence of the door. When he walked over and touched the doorknob, the suspicion that something was off about it instantly changed to certainty.
When he reacted to the open door that was simply “there,” peering inside it—
“Heya. Been a while.”
As Subaru lightly waved a hand, the archive of forbidden books spread before him, not changed whatsoever from before.
The large room packed with bookshelves was filled with the aroma particular to old books. Neither the thin gloom of the windowless room nor the serenity of the air had changed one iota. That applied not only to the room itself, but to the girl who guarded the archive as well.
The girl—Beatrice—sat on a stool instead of a chair, eyes lowered to the book resting on her lap.
“—Considering the ruckus in the mansion, is it from your return, I wonder?”
Beatrice glanced upward, beholding Subaru in her blue eyes as she murmured in apparent boredom. Then the girl seemed to lose interest, her eyes returning to the book once more.
“If you have returned, I should presume that the uproar of late has finally abated.”
“Yeah, thanks to y— Or rather, you sure gave me a hard time. Do you have any idea how scared I was to have you not listen to me and run during the operation?!”
“Do I know or care, I wonder? I never asked you to worry about me in the first place.”
“I’m pretty sure I said I have a reason to worry about you. I don’t think I’m wrong, then or now.”
Beatrice’s words were unapologetic. Nor did Subaru retreat a single step with his reply.
When, on the eve of the Witch Cult’s onslaught, Subaru’s words urged Beatrice to evacuate, she had rejected them. As things turned out, the mansion had not incurred any damage, but going by that would be nothing more than argument by hindsight.
“A lot of people worried about you, Emilia and Ram in particular. You can do it later, but you should give them a proper apology.”
“Apologize? Betty should apologize? Am I at pains to understand why it is necessary to do suc
h a thing, and to whom?”
“Don’t get all stubborn for nothing… If you’re gonna be that stuck up about it, I’ll go apologize to everyone in your place. I’ll tell them you were bawling your eyes out with tears of gratitude when you told me to thank them.”
“Do not speak such falsehoods! Do my tears truly flow for that long, I wonder?!”
His provocations with a flippant tongue raised the volume of Beatrice’s voice, just like usual. Oddly, this filled his own chest with deep emotion, which made Subaru narrow his eyes.
There he was, exchanging words with Beatrice like that once more. Even after they’d parted ways in such a deeply meaningful manner, even though he still had a mountain of things he desired to ask her, things were as boisterous as before.
Exceedingly relieved by that fact, Subaru let out a listless sigh.
“You can dial back the drama a notch. It’s not a bad thing to bawl your eyes out once in a while, you know?”
“Coming from a man who cried like a little baby on the lap of the woman he likes, those words do bear a certain weight.”
“Can’t you just forget about that already?!”
Once that had happened, when impassable hurdles piled higher and higher, sending his emotions crashing against a dam until they smashed apart. When he thought back to that time, his face burned so much he felt like it might catch on fire. All the same, though, the glow of the precious memory burned in his chest just as much.
Trying to paper over those complex emotions, Subaru loudly cleared his throat and changed the course of the conversation.
“…Anyway. I’m glad we’re both safe and sound. Now is the time to come to an understanding.”
“Understanding? Were you not the one to speak on your own, I wonder? Always so self-serving.”
“Yeah, I suppose I always am self-serving. Most of the times I talk to you go like that. Do you remember? When we played tag here in the mansion, when we had the snow festival…”
Beatrice narrowed both eyes as Subaru began talking in a whimsical fashion. As her blue gaze shot through him, Subaru made various gestures as he reminisced out loud.
It was as if he was choosing his words with great care, diving deeper and deeper into their memories so that they touched upon the truth.
Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 10 Page 4
