“It was like that during the demon beast uproar, too. Back then you helped me a ton when you lifted that curse.”
“Stop it.”
“As a result, I sucked up an even bigger curse, which backed me into a seriously bad corner. After that, to heal me it’d take going after the Urugarums in the forest, so—!”
Subaru’s rapid-fire speech was powerfully cut off by an explosion of dry sound.
When he looked, he saw that the source of that sound was Beatrice’s lap—or rather, the open book upon it she had so sternly closed.
Sensing Beatrice’s irritation from that gesture, Subaru awkwardly pursed his lips.
With Subaru falling silent, Beatrice glared at him with a sharp glint in her eyes.
“Would you get to the point already, I wonder? Spineless coward.”
“…Sure.”
He couldn’t summon a rebuke for the insult. That itself was proof the girl had judged him correctly.
He’d used this trick and that to prolong the conversation, keeping it lukewarm while putting off the conclusion, for which Subaru could only blame his weak heart.
He already had the words he ought to ask inside his chest. He required nothing more than the courage to put them on his tongue.
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and took pains to listen to his beating heart. After that, he opened his mouth.
“How much do you…do you and Roswaal know about what happened this time around?”
“…”
Upon receiving the question coming from Subaru’s lips, Beatrice concealed her eyes under the edges of her long eyebrows.
The resulting silence weighed heavily. When it felt very long, Subaru exhaled as if he were breathing hard.
“…Beatrice.”
She made no reply. Even as that fact burned him, Subaru realized his own hypocrisy.
What exactly did he want Beatrice to say? Even within himself, no answer was forthcoming.
Did he want her to be a mastermind with a grasp of everything? An ignorant girl who knew nothing about it? Someone who was neither of those things? Even he didn’t know.
Finally—
“For the sake of argument…what reply do you desire from Betty?”
“Th-this ain’t some what-if! Besides, it’s got nothing to do with what I want you to say. What I want is an answer to my question. I want an answer deeper than just yes or no!”
The unexpected counterattack made Subaru unintentionally coarsen his voice. But Beatrice’s cool demeanor toward Subaru did not falter.
“Betty finds it unfortunate you are so worked up, but perhaps she does not understand what you mean? Betty is not your instructor. If you expect her to politely educate you on every topic, you are sorely mistaken.”
“Ugh…! Don’t gloss this over! Someone told me that if I want to know what Roswaal’s thinking, I should ask you. Sorry, but seeing the attitude you’re giving me, I agree.”
“Who said such a… Ahhh, you saw the half-beast girl who recently returned?”
When Beatrice spoke the word half-beast, a word he could not unhear, she made an adorable face as she clicked her tongue. The girl proceeded to close one eye, pointing a finger at Subaru.
“That girl’s opinion might have some merit, I wonder? But though Betty and Roswaal are certainly connected, that has nothing to do with this latest affair. Might Betty know nothing of it at all, I wonder?”
“But he left you in the mansion. Here, in this mansion, alone, without any plan to deal with it.”
“He left Betty because she is at least capable of protecting herself. Is that unrelated to Roswaal, I wonder? …But Betty does not think that he did so without a single thought.”
Beatrice’s reply made Subaru go over his memories once more. But when he thought back, he could not recall any countermeasures by Roswaal whatsoever during the battle.
Rem, Crusch, Frederica, Beatrice—they’d all said there must be some, yet he couldn’t find any.
“It’s not just that you, me, and everyone thinks too much of Roswaal? Everyone says a guy like that had to have a plan against the Witch Cult… Right, that’s it!!”
That instant, he remembered something as if the very heavens had spoken. In accordance with his revelation, Subaru rummaged through his pocket in great haste, presenting to Beatrice the other thing he wanted to ask her about. And that was—
“Beatrice, here. Look at this.”
—a black-bound book, its pages and contents sullied with blood.
Subaru had the worst history possible with its original owner. He figured that some kind of weird enchantment kept the contents illegible, making it little more than a paperweight unless the reader shared the owner’s personality.
“This should be deeply connected to what that Witch Cult bunch is thinking. If you’re not gonna show me what Roswaal’s really thinking, at least you can tell me something about this b—”
“—A Gospel?”
Increasingly nervous about the lack of response, Subaru spoke rapidly until his words caught in his throat. Beatrice’s dramatic reaction when she stared at the Gospel in Subaru’s hand included a look of fright in her eyes.
Her lips trembled weakly, almost as if she could not believe her own eyes.
“…A war trophy I took from the ringleader of the Witch Cult bunch that had the mansion surrounded.”
“And…the owner?”
“—He’s dead. Crushed by a carriage wheel. I killed him.”
When Beatrice posed that delicate question, Subaru spoke the truth firmly without averting his eyes.
Strictly speaking, Petelgeuse Romanée-Conti had not been a person. He had been an evil spirit employing the bodies of others as hosts under his control. Accordingly, the cause of death Subaru gave might not have been precisely accurate.
But it was Subaru who had dealt Petelgeuse the final blow, robbing him of life.
Knowing in his soul that nothing short of that would defeat him, Subaru had calculatingly killed him.
Petelgeuse Romanée-Conti was the first being Subaru had personally slain—
Subaru wouldn’t claim he’d never hesitated, or that he had no regrets about sullying his hands. He had not bluffed about it to anyone else because he couldn’t lie to himself.
The fact he had killed Petelgeuse and the fact he had been killed by Petelgeuse were engraved into his own heart, never to be forgotten.
“…”
However, though Subaru had poured many thoughts into those brief words, Beatrice had given him no reaction. Still staring at the book in Subaru’s hand, she seemed to whisper to it instead of responding to his words.
“Geuse…have you also…left Betty behind, I wonder?”
“—? Who’s that?”
“…No one at all. More importantly…if you killed him, what happened to the Archbishop of the Seven Deadly…to Sloth’s Witch Factor?”
“Witch…Factor…?”
The words Beatrice mentioned meant it was Subaru’s turn to show his incomprehension.
He remembered having heard the term Witch Factor several times to date. However, the term had come from Petelgeuse’s mouth each time; he’d never thought it would retain any meaning after the man’s death.
Subaru’s bewilderment made Beatrice lower her face, confusion resting in her eyes once more.
“Hey, you can’t just toss jargon onto a guy who doesn’t understand the circumstances. What the heck is that Witch Factor stuff? Honestly, I have a feeling it’s nothing good.”
“You do not know? Could you truly not? If that is so, for what purpose did you kill Sloth…? Furthermore, what was Roswaal doing…?”
“All I did was smother the embers someone tossed my way! As for Roswaal, that bastard’s in the Sanctuary! What’s he thinking? That’s what I wanna ask you, damn it!”
Subaru shouted, practically bellowing in impatience as they talked past each other. When his fierce emotion slammed into Beatrice, all emotion was instantly gone f
rom her face. The resulting silence threw Subaru off.
Her expression was shorn of ferocious anger and sadness, and perhaps confusion and everything else. The sight made Subaru’s breath catch as if he were out of air; Beatrice gave a long, deep sigh.
“—Are all the answers you seek…in the Sanctuary, I wonder?”
“What?”
“Roswaal’s scheme, the meaning of the Gospel, even about the Witch Factor…if you desire answers to all these, go there. Will the half-beast girl show you the way, I wonder?”
“Wait a sec! What’s this all of a sudden? You were acting so high and mighty all that time, what made you decide to talk all of a sudden? Besides, even without going to the Sanctuary, you could…”
“—Betty shall not speak of it. Betty has a right…not to speak of it.”
The obstinate answer silenced Subaru. He remembered her adopting a stance of rejection like this previously. It was the exact same rejection she’d given him when she shook off the hand he offered when he wanted to lead her out of the mansion to safety.
In other words, the result was exactly the same.
“—?! You’re planning to push me away again?! Again, just like before?!”
From behind, in the direction of the door to the archive, he felt a supernatural force twist the air to create wind pressure. The distortion became a wind that took Subaru into its grip, dragging his body toward the portal to shove him outside.
It was an exceedingly compelling use of the magic power known as Passage.
“The path to your answers has been made clear. Will Betty stop indulging you any further, I wonder? Your high-handed arrogance is truly irritating.”
“Beako… Beatrice!!” he shouted, stretching out his hand. But, with rejection in her gaze and posture, Beatrice rebuffed the gesture.
The girl atop the stool closed her eyes, weakly shaking her head from side to side.
“Perhaps Betty is not a tool for your convenience.”
“…”
“I am not such a convenient being…that is here to say what you want to hear, at a time you wish to hear it, in the manner that you prefer.”
Beatrice seemed to wring her voice out. Subaru could not offer any denial or complaint.
It was not that her words had resoundingly hit the mark. What he felt was shock, as if he’d been smacked from a completely unanticipated direction.
The gaping hole in his thoughts robbed Subaru of his power to resist. He would soon be sucked into the door, hurled beyond, and locked out: from the door, from the archive of forbidden books—and from the heart of the girl known as Beatrice.
“Why…are you making that crying face again?”
Eyes lowered, there was no reply from Beatrice to Subaru’s final question.
“—Daa!!” “Gyaah!!”
Shot out from the open door, Subaru spectacularly toppled backward. The place was a corridor in the mansion, the result of his having been indiscriminately teleported via Passage.
But this time it was not Subaru alone who was wrapped up in Passage, but—
“M-Mr. Natsuki, how did you come out of the washroom I just left…?!”
“”
“A-and how long do you intend to sit upon me?! Could you please move?!!”
Otto pleaded with a pathetic expression on his face as he lay on the floor with Subaru’s butt upon him. However, the only thing in Subaru’s head that moment was the final instant with Beatrice.
Why had she made such a sad face? Perhaps that answer, too, was—
“—If I go to the Sanctuary, will I find that out, too?”
“I do not know of what you speak, but I would truly like for you to move as soon as possible!!”
When Subaru murmured thoughtfully, Otto raised his voice from below, bitter at Subaru’s continuing to ignore him.
6
“But really, why did you tumble out of the washroom? Please do not tell me something frightening like there is a hidden door or a hidden passage connected to it…”
“That’s not it, you moron. It’s a one-time miracle brought about by my wanting to do a two-man comedy routine with you.”
“That’s not an answer, though for a reply that is not an answer, it is quite frightening!”
Having been reunited with Otto via Passage, Subaru bit back his feelings of futility over the fruitless conversation with Beatrice as he engaged in suitable conversation with Otto on their way to the guest room. Just as Beatrice had said, she had made his path to arrive at answers clear.
Though the forceful manner in which she had done so had only added to his worries and misgivings.
“Haa… Grim prospects, huh?”
“What is with that sigh…? Is that sigh suggestive of good fortune slipping from your grasp?”
“Your prospects are just that grim. I’m sighing in your stead.”
“Then it is my good fortune you have let slip?! Could you not do such things behind my back?!”
Unable to clear up the complexities inside his chest, Subaru’s flippant tongue could still pull the wool over Otto’s eyes just fine. At any rate, the pair arrived at the guest room over the course of such trivial conversation.
“Oh my, I see Master Subaru is with you. I shall immediately prepare tea.”
Frederica, who had thought Otto alone would be returning, began pouring a fresh cup of tea when she noticed Subaru was with him. Subaru, making a sound with his nose at the warm aroma of the tea leaves, sat down beside Emilia on the sofa at the back of the room. He glanced sidelong toward her, just in time for their eyes to meet.
“Subaru, I see you were with Otto. You two really do get along.”
“I keep having to say this, but you have it wrong. My relationship with him ends as soon as I fulfill my promise to buy up all his oil. So don’t make anything more out of it!”
“What, you cannot remain forthright till the end, so you add an insult? What a futile performance.”
Otto was tired and dispirited at Subaru’s averting his face and engaging in tsundere comedy. During that time, Emilia brought the tea that had been poured for her to her mouth, taking a sip and giving Subaru a little smile.
“Subaru, you must be reeeally stubborn to act like this even though you became friends with Julius after everything that happened.”
“Boys should be stubborn. I’m kind of old-fashioned about that. Also, allow me to point out, Julius and I are not friends. I will hate that guy forever.”
“Yes, yes.”
Subaru’s lips tapered as a certain handsome young man arose in his mind’s eye, but Emilia saw things differently. He grasped with a certain reluctance that the more he said about the matter, the deeper the misunderstanding became.
“Is it quaint to think that the more you argue, the closer you are?”
“No one says quaint anymore… Besides, I thought people who argue a lot get along poorly, with pretty much no exceptions?”
“Well, Subaru, when you and I had a big argument, did we end up getting along worse?”
“…Emilia-tan, you’ve gotten good at this.”
Subaru had an awkward look on his face; Emilia had him dead to rights. Subaru’s reaction made Emilia narrow her eyes, her voice practically a whisper as she continued.
“—So, were you able to speak properly with Beatrice?”
Emilia had not asked if he’d met her. She’d asked if they’d spoken.
She posed that question because she had no doubt Subaru had arrived at the archive of forbidden books. He wasn’t sure he should call that trust, but one might say he would only respond to her trust halfway.
“I met her. I met Beatrice. But as for speaking properly with her…I’m not really sure.”
“…I see. But you were able to meet her, Subaru. In the time I’ve been at the mansion, Ram and I hadn’t managed to go meet Beatrice even once. I’m just a little miffed about that.”
Emilia spoke it with the air of a pout, adorably sticking out her tongue. But the l
ack of strength in Subaru’s voice had apparently conveyed something, because her violet eyes seemed hesitant about her continuing her words.
In place of Emilia, a response came in the form of the faint sound of ceramics.
“So you truly are able to enter Lady Beatrice’s archive of forbidden books…”
“What, you doubted me?”
Subaru’s shoulders sank as he acted just a little wounded at Frederica’s deeply moved murmur. She shook her head.
“Considering the very few encounters I have had with Lady Beatrice during over ten years of service under the master, I could not but doubt. When you told me, ‘I’m gonna go chitchat with Beako for a bit. I’ll be back soon!’ or the like and rushed off, I had no way to confirm for myself.”
“Ahh, err, can’t really excuse myself for putting it that way, huh?”
“To be honest, I thought it would take hours until you would be able to meet Lady Beatrice…”
Subaru, remembering how he’d given a threadbare explanation and rushed off, cringed and reflected on the matter. As Subaru did so, Frederica put significance behind the look she gave Emilia as she continued her words.
“However, afterward, Lady Emilia took the time to speak exhaustively about how reliable Master Subaru had become, so I awaited you half in expectation and half in concern.”
“Huh?”
“Wait a— Frederica?!”
Frederica’s unexpected statement left Subaru bewildered and Emilia beside herself. Emilia jumped to her feet, cheeks red, vigorously waving a hand back and forth toward Subaru.
“Errr, it wasn’t like that. Certainly I spoke to Frederica about you, Subaru, but she’s blowing it out of all…”
“No, I heard her speak as well. To be honest, I was thinking Mr. Natsuki, you lucky scoundrel…”
“Even Otto now!”
Sold out not only by Frederica, but also by Otto, Emilia was red to the tips of her ears. Then she slapped her hands against her flushed cheeks, furtively glancing in Subaru’s direction.
The reaction from Emilia, one she rarely permitted to be seen, made Subaru strongly clench his fist.
“Why don’t you talk like that when I’m around…?”
Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 10 Page 5
