“You know what the best thing is?”
“What?” His eyebrows dipped downward.
“My birthday’s February fifth, so we can celebrate them together.”
“Oh, nice answer.” He dropped his arms to his sides and squinted. “Will you please be serious.”
“If I felt you were one hundred percent sure about this, I’d give it my complete undivided consideration.” I sat back down on the side of the bed. “But you told me yourself—you’re a commitment-phobe. That wasn’t something I guessed about you. It’s something you told me about yourself.”
“And I also told you why.” Nestling next to me, he put his arm around my shoulders. “I’ve never met anyone who made me want to give up being a single guy. But you do. I love you, Brandy. And I love Jessica. Will you give it some thought?”
I turned to face him. “I’ll think about it. Honestly, I will. I promise.” Then I stood up and tied the robe’s belt around my waist. “And I’m getting up today and getting on with life. You go home or to work or wherever, okay? Cecilia’s right next door if I need something so don’t worry so much. Go, shoo,” I gestured with my hands.
“I’m going, I’m going,” he said then stood up.
I walked downstairs with him and he rushed into the dining room to grab his briefcase. I pushed him out the door, and he turned toward me. “I’ll be back, you know? You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He leaned in and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.
“I’m not trying to get rid of you, Edward. You need to get back to work. Now, why don’t you call me later and I’ll let Jessica talk to you on the phone.”
“Oh, you’re so funny! Talk to you later.” And he headed off to his car.
Chapter 31
Nursing Jessica was a dream fulfilled. Watching her tiny pink lips latched onto my nipple, her hand lying on my breast, gave me a feeling like nothing I’d ever expected. I never thought I could love another human being as much as I loved her. All the books I’d read in preparation for the birth of my baby should have helped me deal with the emotional side of having a child. However, I realized words could never describe it.
Until I purchased a jogging stroller, I was determined to get outside and move. So I walked every day, carrying Jessica in a baby pack slung over my chest, the rhythm of my pace lulling her to sleep.
One morning after returning from our walk I was nursing the baby when the doorbell rang. I laid Jess in the cradle Edward had purchased for the front room, and went to see who was at the door, surmising it was Cecilia. She dropped by almost every day to ask if I needed anything. She’d pop in, give me a hug and the baby a kiss, then go back home to work.
When I opened the door, Weston was standing on the doorstep, dressed in his signature distressed jeans, a hunter green polo shirt, and black biker boots—handsome as always, never seeming to age, always in good shape.
He smiled at me over the top of a huge bouquet of pink rosebuds. “Perry told me you had a little girl. Congratulations!”
It took me a few seconds to find my voice. “Uh…thank you.” I hadn’t heard from him since the fiasco at our block party and didn’t feel completely comfortable inviting him in.
He looked down at his feet and cleared his throat. “I want to apologize for my behavior at your party. I was drunk, and humiliated myself and embarrassed you in front of all your friends. Carol and I hadn’t been getting along and I—”
I gestured toward the front room. “Why don’t you come inside.”
“Thanks.” He wiped his feet on the door mat and walked in, following close at my heels.
I picked the baby up and turned around. “This is Jessica.”
He placed the roses on the coffee table and turned toward me. “May I hold her?”
“Sure. I’ll get a vase for the flowers.”
He nestled down on the couch, and I laid the baby in his arms then went into the kitchen. When I returned, I sat on the other end of the sofa, put the vase on the table in front of me and fiddled with the flower arrangement.
“She’s beautiful. Perry told me everything went well at the hospital.”
I nodded. “No complications. I haven’t had a single problem. How are you doing? How’s Carol?”
He stood up, laid Jessica in my arms then sat back down. “I moved out.”
A story lay behind this newest development in their relationship, but I didn’t want to talk about it with him. Last time I’d asked about his relationship with Carol he hadn’t been open to sharing, and the subject seemed too personal now. “Where are you living?”
“I’m in a house on the lagoon. I’m renting for now until I figure out what I’m doing.”
I lifted my eyebrows. “I would think you’d look for a house to buy. The divorce should be final soon. Have you heard from your attorney recently?”
He fidgeted with his watchband. “That’s what I wanted to talk with you about.”
I laid the baby in the cradle then settled back in my corner of the couch. “What’s up? Have you changed your mind about the financial agreement or something?”
“No, nothing like that, Brandy. I…” He looked up at me, his eyes glassy with what looked like unshed tears.
I had this horrible thought something was wrong with him, maybe he was sick. “Is something wrong?”
“No, no.” He pursed his lips then opened his mouth as if he was about to speak. Then he took a deep breath. “I want to come back home. Moving out wasn’t a good idea. I…I love you. I never stopped loving you. But my pride, my ego, call it whatever you want, got in the way I guess. I miss you so much it’s killing me.”
Covering my mouth with my hand, I shook my head. This was unbelievable. “What about you and Carol?” My voice came out in a whisper.
“She and I could never have a future together. She doesn’t like kids, and I want children. And she’s so jealous. She gets angry if I speak to any woman. It creeps me out, she’s so needy. And she’s a bitch.” He paused. Maybe he was waiting for me to say something. Then he blurted out, “She’s not you.”
My mind whirled. “I’m sorry…but a lot has happened since you left me.”
“I’m not asking for an answer now. Just think about it. Please. I told my attorney to put a hold on filing the papers.” His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, and he looked very uncomfortable. “Do you still love me?”
“It’s not that simple. You left me. I slept with Edward. You slept with Carol. We’re both to blame for our marital problems. I wanted to work on our marriage, but you dropped out of my life completely. You couldn’t handle the fact I was carrying another man’s child. The only difference between our situations is you can’t get pregnant.”
“I know. I couldn’t accept your being pregnant by another man. But that was my ego talking. I’ve had time to think about it. We were good together and hopefully we learned from our mistakes. We could make it work again, I know we could.”
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“You can’t?” His voice shifted from pleading to stern. “What do you mean you can’t?”
I looked him straight in the eyes, my voice unwavering. “I can’t just let you move back in here and start where we left off. I was devastated when you walked out on me, West. You destroyed all the faith I had in you as my partner. You didn’t love me enough to work on our marriage.” My determination to say what I had to say without crying dissolved, tears edging their way down my cheeks. “I don’t trust you anymore…with my heart, with our relationship.” I stood up and pointed my finger in his face. “I have so much resentment toward you for not sticking it out, for leaving me when I hadn’t done anything worse than what you’d done.”
He stood up and reached out to grasp my hand. I shook it off and took a step backward.
“I know this is unexpected, Brandy. I’ve shocked you. And I’m sorry for how I handled this whole thing. I screwed up. Big time. But please, can’t you at least think about it?”
I turned away
and looked out the front room window, shaking my head. He had a lot of nerve coming here begging for forgiveness.
His footsteps clattered on the hardwood floor as he walked away then the front door opened. “Call me if you want to talk, Brandy. I love you, no matter what.” The door clicked shut. I covered my face with my hands and wept.
Chapter 32
Promoting my first book on the Internet and blogging on my website took a lot of time, and recently I’d visited our local Borders, trying to set up a book signing. Now I needed to line up someone to take care of the baby. I’d asked around the neighborhood, searching for a teenager who might be interested and qualified.
It was a warm night in July, the front windows open to let in the mild coastal breeze, when I heard car tires screeching, then silence. I ran to the window to see what had happened but could only detect a car’s headlights near our driveway. I rushed outside and noticed a man bending over a young girl lying in the street next to a bicycle.
“Should I call 9-1-1?”
He glanced up at me, eyes wide. “Yes…please…quickly.”
I sprinted back into the house and after phoning, I grabbed a blanket and a bottle of water.
Kneeling down on the asphalt, I placed the blanket over the young girl. “Are you hurt?” I couldn’t see any obvious bleeding or scrapes on her face or arms.
She struggled to sit up. “I think I’m okay.”
I put my hand on her shoulder. “Stay still until the paramedics arrive.” I unscrewed the cap to the water bottle and placed it in her hands.
Within minutes, we heard the screaming wail of the ambulance, along with the fire truck’s siren, followed by a police car. Altogether, there were two policemen, three paramedics and four firemen at the scene. I backed away, knowing she needed to be examined for injuries.
Her bicycle appeared untouched, though that was the least of anyone’s worries. Apparently she had no lacerations or internal bleeding, and I could hear the paramedic advise she call her personal physician the following day. The police took statements from her and the driver then departed.
The man whose car had hit her didn’t make a move to get back into his vehicle, but came over to where I stood next to the young girl. “My name’s Michael Lorin. I’m so sorry, I’m not familiar with the area and was looking for a certain address. Luckily I was already slowing down when I saw the blinking light on your bicycle.”
The girl smiled broadly at him, showing a full set of braces wrapped around perfectly straightened teeth. “Hey, it’s all good, Mr. Lorin. It obviously could have been way worse, right?”
He gave her a weak smile. “You’re lucky no bones were broken.” He handed her a business card. “Here’s my auto insurance information. You’ll want to give them a call as soon as possible to file a claim.”
She nodded. “I’ll give this to my mom and dad. My name’s Stephanie Palmer, by the way. I live around the corner, on Bay Street, next to the bed and breakfast. I better get home. They’ll be worried about me.”
Mr. Lorin and Stephanie shook hands. I stood off to the side, trying to give them some private time. I didn’t want to leave until she could walk home safely on her own.
“My name’s Brandy Chambers.” I pointed to my house. “I live right there. Are you okay to walk home?”
“I’m just a little sore on my left knee where I fell on the ground. No biggee. Thanks for calling 9-1-1. I don’t have my cell phone with me.”
“Let me go inside the house and get my little girl. I can put her in the stroller, you grab your bike, and I’ll walk home with you.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “You have a baby?”
“Jessica. She’s five weeks old. I’ll be right back.” I ran inside and put Jess in the stroller and was out of the house within minutes.
She bent down and took a look at Jess, still sound asleep. “She’s so tiny,” she whispered. “I love kids.”
“Do you ever babysit?” I mentally crossed my fingers.
“I took care of my little sister all the time when she was a baby. And my parents made me take the American Red Cross baby sitter’s course. I learned CPR and even have a Red Cross notebook filled with references from friends of my parents when I babysit their kids.”
I started walking, noticed she was hobbling, with a slight grimace on her face, and slowed my pace. “Do you go to school around here?”
“I graduated from Encinal High School and I’m taking classes at Alameda Junior College. I plan to apply to the university. I’m living with my mom and dad so I can save money.”
“Sounds like a good idea.” I paused, hoping my hunch was correct. “If I ever feel like getting out of the house, would you be interested in babysitting?”
She beamed. “I’d love to. I’ll loan you my notebook so you can check out my references. I’m not planning on job hunting just yet. I want to concentrate on my studies. But I could use some extra cash.”
She stopped in front of a huge Craftsman style home, next door to Alameda’s only bed and breakfast. “I’ll go inside and grab the notebook.”
I followed her toward the front door. Half-way up the walkway, the door opened and a woman who looked not much older than I stepped outside. “Where have you been, honey? Your dad and I have been so worried about you.”
Stephanie exhaled a deep breath then smiled. “Brandy, this is my mom, Patricia Palmer. Mom, this is Brandy Chambers. She lives around the corner on Lauren Drive.”
She reached out her hand for me to shake. “Nice to meet you, Brandy. Oh, Stephanie, you’re limping! What in God’s name happened to you?”
“She was hit by a car in front of my house, Mrs. Palmer. But the paramedics said she’s fine. I wanted to walk her home, just to make sure she got here okay.”
She instantly turned toward her daughter, her eyebrows knitted in worry. “Oh, my God, Steph. Are you okay, honey?” She took her daughter by the shoulders and looked her up and down, inspecting every inch of her from head to toe.
Stephanie smiled and pulled her mother in for a hug, patting her back. “I’m fine, Mom. I got the man’s insurance information right here.” She handed her mother the business card. “We can take care of this tomorrow or whatever. I’m going to get that information for Brandy, okay?”
Mrs. Palmer pulled away from Stephanie’s embrace. “I’m so glad you’re all right, sweetie.”
“Mrs. Palmer?” I interrupted.
“Please. Call me Patricia.”
“Patricia…I’ve asked Stephanie if she’s interested in babysitting for me.” I pointed toward the stroller. “I have a five-week-old baby. Stephanie said she’d loan me her notebook of references to read, if that’s okay.”
She smiled. “I think that’s a great idea. We don’t want Stephie working much while she’s studying. She needs to get good grades if she’s applying to the university. But she could use a few extra dollars for fun. Very kind of you to offer.”
Stephanie had already gone inside the house and was walking out, hand outstretched, holding a notebook with an American Red Cross emblem stamped on the front. “Here, Brandy. My home and cell numbers are inside too. Call me anytime.”
We said our goodbyes and I turned to go home, the notebook tucked under my arm. I wanted to speak with a few of the people she’d worked for. If I felt comfortable with what they told me, Stephanie’s misfortune would be my good luck. Maybe I’d finally found someone to take care of Jess!
Chapter 33
Edward came over several times a week to see Jessica. He’d often bring gifts, a new toy, or an item of clothing. He’d enter the house, give me a peck on the cheek then hold the baby while I took a relaxing bath or lay down for a short nap, maybe pop over to the store for a few minutes. He’d often arrive bearing a present for me as well—chocolates from See’s Candies or a knickknack from a quaint store on Park Street.
We hadn’t had an evening together alone since Jessica was born, so I wasn’t surprised when he asked if I felt comfortable leav
ing the baby with Stephanie and we could go on a date. I’d phoned every person listed as a reference for Stephanie and they’d all given her glowing recommendations. She was smart, well-liked, educated in crisis situations, and she had a lot of experience taking care of children and infants.
Adult time with Edward sounded like heaven, and I phoned Stephanie right away. She was available for the following Saturday night.
On the evening of our date, I took a shower, washed and dried my hair, and applied my make-up with extra care. I dressed in one of my favorite silk dresses, a red clingy number with a deep-v in the front. After spraying Nicole Miller perfume behind my ears and at my throat, I was ready to go. The doorbell chimed then I heard Stephanie and Edward chatting. I took one last look in the mirror then walked down the stairs.
“Wow, do you look great, Brandy! Good enough to eat!” He covered his mouth with his hand and added, “Excuse me, I didn’t mean that literally.”
Stephanie was the first to make light of his faux pas. “That’s all right, Mr. Barnes. I think we know what you meant.”
We all three laughed. I kissed Jessica good-bye and we walked outside to the Porsche. It felt so good heading out to a restaurant, all dressed up. Instead of wearing sweatpants with my favorite basketball shoes, I felt sexy for the first time in months.
The Porsche hummed down the street, and Edward glanced over at me. “I made reservations at your favorite restaurant, L’Orangerie. That okay?”
I smiled. “Perfect. This is so much fun! I’m out of the house, all dressed up, and I get to talk to someone my age!”
His laugh was low and sexy. “We should do this more often, especially now that you’ve found such a reliable sitter.”
“I’d love to and I don’t worry much since we’re only a few minutes from home.”
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