First of the First

by Andrew Maclure

  Mike said in a loud and imperial voice, “Stand down soldiers, and back off Major. Mark and I have been lovers for decades and we have been intimate more times than you could count. Merely touching my arm is Mark showing great restraint. Usually he can’t keep his hands off me.”

  The Major took a step back, visibly shaken by Mike’s words. Mark was quite surprised too. Sally shut her eyes and shook her head almost imperceptibly. Mike turned to Mark and winked at him.

  “As I was saying Major, they have not brought me, they are accompanying me and are here to ensure my safe return to their ship, where I am an honored guest. I came in hope of an open and amicable discussion, but I can see that’s not going to happen, so let’s get on with it.”

  Pulling at Mark’s arm she strode to the head of the table and sat down, instructing Mark to pull a stool round to her side and sit on her right and waving Sally to sit on her left. The Major sat on a stool two meters further down the table. “Major!” Mike snapped at him. “I did not give you permission to sit! You may stand while we talk.”

  The Major jumped out of his seat and stood to attention,

  “Stand easy Major.” Mike said. “What has changed? Up until now I’ve just had the inconvenience of avoiding the Federation’s snatch squads. This is the first time a military task force has been sent to drag me back. What did you mean when you said I was ‘needed’ back at Court?”

  “It is the First of the First, your father.” he said.

  “I know who my father is! Get on with it!”

  The Major, looking uncomfortable with the way events seemed to have slipped out of his control continued, “Your father, your Highness. He is asking for you. He is unsettled and talks of stepping down. He needs you by his side and the Federation needs you to take command of the Empire. With your father being distracted and the increasing rebel activity, your people need you to take command at the palace.”

  “By the flying freaks of the four moons of Titus! Why couldn’t you have just sent a courier to tell me that?”

  “We sent several, your Highness. None of them managed to meet you. The last one we sent was returned to us in a shipping crate. He said he had been ambushed by a huge mammal and an orange colored creature that looked like it was made of rock.”

  “Ah. That would be Simon and Orange.”

  “You know these creatures?” the Major asked.

  “Yes, they are part of my personal security staff. It would be safer for you if you do not antagonize them,”

  “So you see, your Highness, I must take you back to Court immediately to wait upon your father.”

  “I’ll think about it. We’re finished here for now. Instruct your men to escort us back to our lander.” Mike stood to leave, Mark and Sally stood with her.

  “I am sorry your Highness. My orders from your father are quite clear. I cannot let you leave this ship. General Sally and Mark are, of course, free to leave unhindered.” He signaled to the soldiers who moved towards Mike.

  “Tell your men to stand down Major. We are leaving and if you try to stop us it’s going to get bloody.” Mike ordered.

  “I don’t think so your Highness. You have two to protect you and they are unarmed. Take them.” the Major ordered his soldiers.

  As they moved forwards Sally sprang onto the table and taking two quick steps across it towards the soldiers, launched herself straight at them. She drew her lips back in a snarl exposing her elongated curved canine teeth, and extended razor sharp claws. The sight of the neat, composed general suddenly turning into what looked like a savage wild animal unnerved the soldiers and they hesitated for a moment, just long enough for Sally to plunge into the middle of them, kicking, punching and twisting limbs but refraining from slashing open skin with her claws or ripping out throats with her teeth. It took only moments before the soldiers were all lying on the floor, three unconscious, five with broken limbs or badly sprained joints.

  She stood and slowly turned to face the Major. “Did you want to try to stop us leaving, Major?”

  “No, no, General.” he said, backing up. “Can you find your own way back to your lander?”

  “We can manage that. Thank you for your hospitality Major. We must do this again sometime.” she said with a smile.

  The Major looked at his soldiers laying on the floor and gulped.

  “And please make sure the dock doors open for us to leave. We’d hate to have to break your ship.”

  “The Major nodded and licked his lips with his forked tongue, shuffling back a bit further.”

  “Your Highness,” Sally said to Mike, “are you ready to leave now?”

  “Yes. Come along Mark don’t dawdle. Lead the way General.” She tugged at Mark’s arm and strode towards the door without even a sideways glance at the Major.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The Future Is Planned

  As soon as they arrived back on board the Swift, the three blinked to the command center where the others were waiting for them.

  “I thought you would be there longer.” Bekkreshan said, leaning back in her chair at the conference table at the side of the command center.

  “Mike wrapped things up fairly quickly and Sally finished the meeting off.” Mark said.

  “It all went well then?” asked Touren.

  “Couldn’t have been better.” Mike said with a smile.

  “Well, it could have been a bit better.” Mark said. “For example, if you had shut up and let Sally and me do the talking, if you hadn’t told the Major that you and I were long term fuck buddies and I couldn’t keep my hands off you, and if the Major hadn’t ordered his troops to detain you, it could have been a lot better.”

  “He doesn’t seem to have had much success with trying to detain you.” Touren said.

  “No. Sally turned into a werewolf and a few seconds later we were able to leave unhindered.” Mark said.

  “Another successful meeting!” Simon said with a grin.

  Sally scowled at him.

  “I found out you two have been intercepting Herassan diplomats coming to see me.” Mike said.

  “We might have done.” Orange said.

  “If I were to say, ‘shipping crate’, would that jog your memory at all?” Mike said.

  “That was ages ago.” Orange replied dismissively. “I’m surprised they remember it.”

  “I think it’s quite an unusual and memorable way for a diplomatic courier to return from a mission. They usually travel first class, not in a cargo hold.”

  Mark changed the subject. “Do all your warships have such ridiculous names? I mean, The Imperial Thrust? It sounds like a position from the Kama Sutra.”

  There was a brief pause while the others all checked the Earth archive to find out what the Kama Sutra was.

  “What were you doing reading a manual of sex position?” Sally asked. “You’ve not been very adventurous so far.”

  Mark blushed. “Not now, Sally!”

  “OK. When would be a good time?”

  Ignoring her, Mark said, “I was asking about names of your ships.”

  “If they are in the service of the First of the First, their names all start with ‘Imperial’. All other military ships names start with ‘Federation’ and anything that isn’t a warship, I don’t know or care about. Anyway, you don’t have room to criticize. You named Alan’s ship ‘Mother’ and you called your own ship the Quick.”

  “I didn’t name it Mother, that was Alan being, well, being Alan. And this ship isn’t called the Quick, it’s called the Swift!”

  “Whatever. They’re both stupid names.”

  “The Swift is a very good name, though I have been thinking about getting a bigger ship.”

  “I’ve heard about this.” Mike said. “It’s the small dick syndrome. The bigger the ship, the smaller the dick. Poor Sally.” Mike said.

  “He manages to perform adequately,” Sally said, “but technique is a bit lacking. Perhaps some time spent practicing with Bekkreshan would help?”r />
  Bekkreshan jumped to her feet and flexed her arm muscles. Mark swallowed hard: her arms were bigger than his thighs. He blushed again.

  Bekkreshan laughed and said, “Don’t look so frightened Mark. You’re not my type, you’re the wrong gender.”

  Sally grinned, “You’d better not practice with anyone else, I’m strictly monogamous in a relationship and I expect you to be too.”

  “That’s fine with me. I’m a one alien kind of guy.” Mark said, laughing nervously.

  “Why do you talk about sex so much?” Mike asked him.

  “I bloody don’t! You and Sally seem obsessed with talking about it all the time.”

  “You keep going red Mark. Are you unwell?” Touren asked.

  “No, I’m fine!” Mark snapped at her. “We’ve got some serious stuff to discuss. Did you manage to create a comfortable meeting space while you were indulging your wild fantasies?” Mark asked Mike.

  “While we’re on the subject,” Orange interrupted, “this mountain you’re planning. Does it have an active caldera? Any lava pools?”

  “Forget about her crazy idea of building a mountain in the Swift! Is there a meeting room we can use!” Mark demanded.

  Mike bounded over to him and gave him a tight hug. “I love having you with us. You are so easy to tease.”

  “Meeting room?” Mark asked again.

  “Of course. Follow me.”

  Mike blinked out, the rest followed her and found themselves in a spacious room with a wood effect conference table big enough to seat twenty, and a separate area with a variety of padded chairs, sofas and floor cushions, with low tables dotted conveniently amongst them. The only features that showed Mike’s preferences were the floor, which shifted under Mark’s feet like dry sand, and the atmosphere, which was a little warmer and drier than Mark would have chosen. He was very impressed at Mikes restraint and taste. He didn’t think he could have done a better job, or as good.

  “What do you think of it?” Mike asked.

  “It will do for now.” he said grudgingly.

  They all took a seat at the conference table and looked at Mark.

  “Sally, will you lead on this, you’re used to being in charge.”

  Sally briefly related what was said on the Herassan ship. “Has anyone any suggestions on how we should move forwards?” she asked.

  “It seems to me there are two options.” Orange said. “We can carry on regardless, as if the meeting never took place, or Mike could go and meet her father and see if something can be worked out that she can agree to. However, the decision must be Mike’s and hers alone. It would be unfair to try to persuade her either way.”

  Mark was always surprised when Orange said something sensible. He didn’t look like he was equipped for it.

  “That’s what I was thinking.” Sally said. “Does anyone have anything to add?”

  “We’ll have to go along as bodyguards.” Simon said. “It will be easier to prevent her being taken against her will than it would be to rescue her.” Looking around the table, he continued, “We will need to beef up the team if we’re going to do that.”

  “It’s up to you Mike. What do you want to do?” Sally asked.

  “What I’d really like,” Mike paused, “is for this to never have happened.” She looked at Mark. “If the People were really clever instead of just having some fancy toys, they would have a time machine and we could go back and stop it all from happening. But as they aren’t any help, I’ll meet with my father, but you’d better not let them kidnap me while we’re there!” she said, looking round the table.

  Sally said, “Simon is right, we need some heavy duty additions to our team. There are seven of us round this table, including Mike. Touren, Bekkreshan, you haven’t been part of this, and you hardly know Mike, you’re not members of my army, so I don’t expect you to be in the bodyguard team. We need a team of eight, plus Mike, so we need another four. Anyone in mind Simon?”

  “Hold on Sally,” Bekkreshan interrupted. “We’re team players. We asked to travel with you, that means we stick with you. We will be in the bodyguard team.”

  “Did you really think we wouldn’t?” Touren asked Sally.

  Sally smiled. “I didn’t want to pressure you into it. Simon, we need two more. I’ll leave you to arrange it.”

  “It will be good to have you both in the team. It’s a long time since we fought together.” Simon said to Touren and Bekkreshan. “Mark, I’ve got a couple of people in mind, but I need to talk to them first, I want then to volunteer, not come under orders, but will you use the Swift to collect them?”

  “Of course. Just tell me when and where.”

  “That’s it for now, unless anyone has anything else?” Sally said. “No? Let’s try out the seating” She stood and said to Mike, “You’ve done a good job here Mike. What happened? Did someone hit you with a sensible stick?”

  “No, I thought of the most puke making and boring design I could, and thought: ‘Sally and Mark would like this’. Looks like I hit the target.”

  Touren approached and spoke to Mike. “Bekkreshan is always practicing close quarters combat, but I’m a bit rusty. Sally said you were an expert; can you coach me before we go into action?”

  “Sure, us reptiles have got to stick together. Let’s go.” They both blinked to the gym.

  “I’m hungry” Mark said, “Who would like to join me in the dining room?”

  “I’ll join you later, I need to do something first.” Simon said, and blinked out.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The Past Comes Back To Haunt Sally

  Simon blinked into the bar and found everyone else already there. Bekkreshan and Sally were talking and laughing with Mark sitting with them looking bored. Touren, Mike and Orange sat at another table talking quietly.

  “Has someone died?” He asked in a loud voice.

  Mark got up and stepped over to him. “Have a drink with me Simon and save me from them.” he nodded to Bekkreshan and Sally. “They’re talking about ‘the good old times’ which seem to have taken place a few thousand years ago. I’m in danger of boredom induced brain damage.”

  “I feel for you. The freak show over there won’t be any better.” Simon said, nodding at the other three. Orange threw a heavy glass at Simon’s head. He swept up a huge hand and plucked it out of the air. He went behind the bar and pulled a large glass of a green tinged amber liquid from the synthesizer and took a deep drink from it. “Another four or five of these and I’ll be a lot better. Did you want a drink Mark?”

  “Yes, I’ll have a coffee.”

  “Hitting the hard stuff?”

  “I’d really like a beer, but my AI told me that there aren’t any patterns for anything alcoholic apart from neat vodka that would be both palatable and safe for me to drink. Sally can pour vodka down her throat without batting an eyelid, but it’s not to my taste.”

  As they walked to an unoccupied table, Simon said, “You seemed to like the Skull Splitter that night in the Chequers. If we were to go back to Earth and got a sample of it, we could make it in the synthesizers.”

  “I don’t want to go back to Earth and anyway, if we copied it we’d be breaking their copyright or trademark or something.”

  “That’s not a problem. We synthesize stuff from civilizations that still use money and have patents. Most people who use their stuff pay them a royalty every time it’s synthesized, so the maker doesn’t lose out. As far as they’re concerned, we’re just another customer who they don’t have to make anything for. You could do the same for whoever makes Skull Splitter. I liked that too.” Simon said with a wistful smile.

  “How do I do that? I can’t keep count of everything I drink, and I haven’t got any money!”

  Simon sighed and shook his head. “Your ships main AI will keep count and there’s a trader hobbyist called Drongyul I know on Earth, he’s in Winchester, he’ll make the payments.”

  “He will?”

  “Yeah, he owes me
a favor.”

  “OK, maybe. When we’ve finished sorting out Mike.”

  “That won’t take long. All you’ve got to do is turn up with a couple of hundred People’s ships and they’ll do what you say.”

  “I’m not sure it works like that. Did you find anyone to join us on bodyguard duty for her Highness?”

  “Yeah. One you’ll like, Kar Fen, the Krendor.”

  “Great! But will Sally be OK with him?”