Alien in the Family (3)

by Gini Koch

  “One boy, one girl.”

  “Is your son the right age?”

  “Well, yes, but, we’re not family.”

  Lucinda and Mom both snorted. “Yes, you are.” The unison thing again. It never stopped being creepy.

  “I think he’s elected. Stress James out, get him into a tux.”

  “Raymond should fit into George’s. Do you want me to send him in so you can recognize him?”

  My turn to snort. “He’ll be the incredibly gorgeous kid with perfect teeth and bags of charisma, right?”

  Denise smiled. “Just like his father.”

  “And mother. So, yeah, I think I’ll be able to spot him, even with all the A-C gorgeous around. So, let him stay with the men and be all manly like. Besides, Kevin’s a groomsman, so it’s all good.”

  Denise hugged me, then raced out to share the problem solve. Jeff’s sister Marianne brought Kimmie in now. She looked gorgeous in a little girl version of what the bridesmaids were wearing, but with the colors reversed.

  The florist arrived, Reader in tow, and more bedlam ensued. The flowers were gorgeous—my bouquet was all red roses with two white roses in the center. The girls were each carrying smaller versions, and Kimmie had a basket with red and white rose petals to scatter. The men’s boutonnières were white roses, but I caught a glimpse of one red one, which I assumed was for Martini. The women’s corsages were red with white.

  It was simple, but because we had so much black and white going on, the red roses looked dramatic and beautiful. Reader seemed pleased, which, by now, was all that I was looking for. If he was happy, things were going as planned.

  Reader had to go change, and my father came in, apparently to ensure that no one let me see Martini or vice versa. Dad was in the same tuxedo as the groomsmen, so I got to finally see something from the male side.

  Tuxes were black, of course, double-breasted with a notch lapel. The main part of the lapel was wide and black satin. White shirts with the black things whose name I could never remember over the buttons, black bowties, no vests. It looked great on my dad, so I figured it would look great on everyone else, including Martini, and I said as much.

  “Oh, Jeff’s in something different,” Dad said with a twinkle.

  “What would that be?”

  “You’ll find out soon enough.” He was clearly enjoying being in on the big secret.

  “Sol, stop torturing Kitty.” Mom sounded mildly annoyed.

  Dad gave her a peck. “Only chance I’ll have to do it. I only get room duty until James comes back. Most of the men are ready. It was nice—this is the only group of young men whom I didn’t have to teach how to tie their ties, not even the bowties.”

  “They tied their own bowties?”

  “Yes. It’s a lost art.” Dad sounded impressed. I looked closely at his tie. Darned if he wasn’t telling the truth.

  Reader came back, and I got a better idea of how the tuxes were going to look on the guys in the wedding party. Droolworthy about covered it. He grabbed Jareen for some instructions, and Dad went off with them.

  Mom put her necklace on me. I’d seen it before, of course, but she only wore it for special occasions, so not that often. A thin band of tiny diamonds curved down to a diamondencrusted Star of David. The pendant hung just at the start of my cleavage. The bracelet was another thin band of diamonds. Mom had me wear it on my right wrist.

  Jareen was back, and it was time for me to get into my dress. Managed to score some privacy but not a lot, since I couldn’t button the dress myself. Jareen, as matron of honor, got the thrill of being alone with me while I put on my lingerie.

  “Naked Apes really go through a lot of ritual.”

  “This Naked Ape was fine with just racing off to some sleazy chapel in town and doing the quickie wedding.”

  “Everyone is happy you didn’t.”

  “I know. Do I look totally slutty?” I was still in my lingerie.

  “Yes. Jeff will love it.” She handed me the blue garter. “James says to wear this and not lose it.”

  I put it on my right leg, ensured it was secure, then shimmied into the dress. “This is really a great dress.”

  “Yes, but it’s the one because of how it makes you look in it.”

  “Geez, James is rubbing off on you.”

  “Perhaps. Hmmm . . . I think we need human fingers.” She called Serene in. “Need help with the buttons.”

  “Okay.” Serene sounded nervous.

  “Serene, they’re buttons. You button them.”

  “I know . . . but I don’t want to ruin your dress.”

  “Button them slowly.”

  “James said to hurry up.”

  “Button them slowly, and we’ll lie to James.”

  She did as requested. “You look so beautiful.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Richard’s really happy you and Jeff met the deadline.”

  I heard the words. I reran them in my mind. They made no sense to me. “Uh, what deadline?”

  “The one for you and Jeff to get married.”

  “I thought we had six weeks more, minimum. I mean, that’s when we were telling everyone we were going to get married.”

  “Oh, yes, for you two, it wouldn’t have mattered.” She was buttoning carefully and concentrating on doing it well, I could tell. So I didn’t want to throw her, but I did want to find out what in the world she was talking about.

  “Then who was the deadline for?”

  “The rest of us. You know, in order for Richard to approve any other marriages this year, he had to agree that you two would marry by May first. Some of the older A-Cs forced him into that.”

  Jareen and I exchanged a look. “So, since I’m not from around here, what would the ramifications have been if Kitty and Jeff had, say, gotten married as they’d planned, six weeks from now?”

  “No one else could be married for a year after, because it would mean the process was too complex. Also, they wanted to see how Jeff and Kitty did for a year before allowing any others to marry. Richard got the deadline as a compromise.”

  And he’d never mentioned it once, to either me or Martini.

  “Huh. That seems odd to me, as a Giant Lizard. They gave a deadline of May first, and if Jeff and Kitty met that, then everyone can get married?”

  “Yes,” Serene said, still concentrating on the buttons.

  “But if they got married on, say, May second, then everyone else would have to wait until May of the next year before they could consider marriage? And it would be dependent upon how Jeff and Kitty were doing?”

  “Yes. There, all done. Jareen, can you check and make sure it looks right?”

  Jareen moved around behind me. “Perfect.” Serene beamed.

  “Thanks, Serene. So, pretty much, we have until midnight to get married or else no one else gets hitched to a human?”

  She nodded. “But we’re fine. I think the ceremony’s scheduled for six.” She left the room.

  Jareen and I looked at each other. “Twenty of your dollars says someone tries to stop this wedding.”

  “Unlike my Nona Maria, I don’t take sucker bets. This is why James is so frantic. He knows about it—but I don’t think anyone else we’re close to does. I mean, why would Christopher have let us dawdle along if there was this kind of restriction on us?”

  Jareen shook her head. “No idea.”

  “James must have discovered this when he was in the hospital wing. He would have told me if he’d known before all the invasion stuff started. I mean, he was going to help me get a dress before Moira attacked him, but there wasn’t any urgency, not like he’s had since he made his miraculous recovery.”

  “Then why hasn’t he told you?”

  “Maybe he can’t. Or else he’s protecting someone.” Neither answer seemed totally right. I had no idea what was going on. Conveniently, I knew someone who could always figure out what was going on. “No one’s going to like this, James and Jeff least of all, but I need to
talk to Chuckie, right now and in person.”

  CHAPTER 69

  JAREEN NODDED. “I KNOW HOW to get him in here. Just sit, well, stand tight.”

  She hypersped out of the room and was back in a flash with Chuckie. “Oooh, dude, nice tux.” It was nice. Of course, I’d seen it before, at our ten-year reunion. When he’d proposed. Worked very hard on being emotionally cool and calm.

  “What’s up? Jareen said ‘emergency,’ grabbed me, and I’m here.” I brought him up to speed. He looked thoughtful. “Get Serene, Lorraine, and Claudia, only, in here.”

  Jareen went off and got them. “What’s up?” Lorraine looked perfectly calm.

  “Serene, could you tell everyone in the room what you told me and Jareen? About the deadline, I mean?”

  She looked confused but told the others what Jareen and I had already heard. There was dead silence when she was done. Claudia and Lorraine looked beyond shocked. “You didn’t know?” Chuckie asked them.

  “Hell no,” Lorraine said. “We’re in the next group to get married. So’s Serene.”

  A thought occurred. “Serene? How did you find out about the deadline?” She looked really embarrassed and more than a little scared. “Honey, you’re in Airborne now. That means if you were doing some sort of, ah, intelligence work, that’s okay.”

  She looked a little less scared. “Well, when the invasion stuff started, after James was hurt, everyone was running around and doing a million things, and you’d brought me out, but I didn’t have anything to do. So I figured maybe I should make sure I was watching Richard—you know, he said I could call him Richard—just to make sure nothing happened to him.”

  “Yes, he’s fine with you calling him Richard. And that was really good thinking on your part, Serene.”

  “Really? Great!” I gave her a meaningful look. “Oh. Okay. So, at one point, he was talking to a group of people—it was right when you guys brought me out, so James was still in the hospital—and since I couldn’t see them in my mind I . . . spied on them.” She looked ready to run.

  “Good job,” I said quickly. Relief washed over Serene’s face. “What did you see and hear?”

  “The people were really upset with him, saying he was destroying the race. Lots of arguments went on, and they made him agree to a new deadline.”

  “There was always a deadline?” Chuckie asked.

  “Yes, I think so. At least from what they said, it seemed that the issue wasn’t the deadline itself but the new date for it.”

  “I don’t understand why Richard would cave to anyone.”

  “Serene, were these people you knew?” Chuckie had his eyes closed.

  “No. From where I was hiding I couldn’t really see anyone other than Richard, and I didn’t recognize their voices. But I don’t know everyone.”

  He opened his eyes. “You don’t know all your relatives?”

  “No.” She looked down. “I spend most of my time with the NASA team.”

  “So it wasn’t anyone from the Space Center.” I looked at Chuckie. “What are you thinking? I mean besides that this is just freaking typical for my luck.”

  He shook his head. “I’m trying to figure out who has the most to lose, or gain, by humans not being allowed to marry A-Cs. The American government wouldn’t be the answer—what we talked about last night is hugely exciting, and we will, of course, want to maintain a lot of interaction and such, but prevention wouldn’t be the idea.”

  The girls all looked at me. “Top secret, Commander-level clearance only, sorry.” I got four disgusted expressions staring at me. “Really. Bug Chuckie and Christopher later, okay? I think we have more urgent issues.”

  Chuckie nodded. “We do. This is beyond bizarre.”

  A scary thought occurred. “Serene? Where’s Richard?”

  She concentrated. “He’s with Christopher and all the other men.” She blushed bright red. “Jeff only has his pants on.” I refrained from mentioning she’d seen Martini with his pants off when we were in Florida. He and I spent a lot of time not mentioning that we’d unknowingly given Serene a personal how-to class in sexual athleticism.

  “So Richard’s fine?” She nodded. “Who could have the influence to cause him to change his decision?”

  “No one from our generation would,” Claudia said. “Even the ones who do want to marry A-Cs think it’s right for the rest of us to marry who we want.”

  “None of our human operatives are against it, either,” Lorraine added. “I mean, Jerry, Matt, and Chip are playing the field, but with intent to find the right girl and settle down. They’re hotly contested items, so I can’t imagine they or any of our other human males would be causing this problem.”

  I shook my head. “No human working with A-Cs would be talking about purity of the race, at least not since Brian had his wake-up call.”

  “I agree.” Chuckie’s tone was thoughtful. “Humans who can work and live with aliens like your operatives do aren’t normally loaded with xenophobia.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but you want to bring Brian in for his perspective?”

  “Maybe.” It was there, tickling the back of my mind.

  A knock came on the door, and Mom stuck her head in. “Hello, Charles. I’m not going to ask. I assume it’s something horrible. Kitten, what do we do about the feuding families?”

  “Pardon?”

  Mom sighed. “Doreen’s parents, the entire A-C Diplomatic Corps, a few of the other parents of A-Cs dating humans? You know, the people who really don’t want to accept change?”

  Chuckie and I looked at each other. “Oh. Duh.” Said in unison.

  I looked back to my mother. “Can you please get Lucinda in here?” She rolled her eyes, but went off, presumably to comply. “Lorraine, please get Doreen.”

  “On it.” Lorraine zipped off.

  Lorraine, Mom, and Lucinda all joined us. Doreen came in right after them. We were now officially in Marx Brothers territory. However, it was better than where the Diplomatic Corps wanted us headed.

  “My parents are doing something awful, aren’t they?” Doreen asked without any preamble.

  “Shockingly, yes.” I brought everyone up to speed on what we’d gotten from Serene. No one seemed overly surprised by the information. Meaning everyone else had a clearer view of what was going on than I did. How unusual. “Mom? What’s your honest, brutal assessment of the A-C Diplomatic Corps?”

  “That they’re not actually diplomats. It’s a pretty title for this side of the house. But what they actually function as are lobbyists.”

  “Lobbying for what?”

  “Protecting our interests,” Lucinda answered. “They deal the most efficiently of all our people with those in political power.”

  Meaning they were the A-Cs most likely to be capable of lying. That some A-Cs could indeed lie had been proven at least somewhat by the fact that the late and unlamented Adolphus had had spies on Earth for a long while. “Do you trust them, Mom?”

  She glanced at Doreen. Who grimaced. “Tell the truth, Missus Katt, I don’t know how anybody could trust my parents.”

  Mom shrugged. “No, I don’t either. But, then, I don’t trust most lobbyists. What do you think they’re going to attempt?”

  “My guess is that they aren’t going to go for violence,” Chuckie said, “which is one small favor. However, if they can cause chaos and disruption long enough . . .”

  Lucinda looked ill. “I had to invite them. It would be very bad for Richard and the boys if I hadn’t.”

  “They’d have shown up even if you hadn’t,” Doreen spat out.

  “Things still tense between you and your parents?” I asked her.

  She nodded. “We haven’t spoken, not really, since I moved to Caliente Base. The only messages I get from them say I have to leave Irving if I want their forgiveness. I don’t want anything from them, not any more. Not now, not ever.”

  Lucinda put her arm around Doreen. “It’ll work out, dear.”
Doreen didn’t look as though she believed this. I couldn’t blame her—I didn’t either.

  Mom shook her head. “We need to stop them, but it has to be done in a politically correct manner, or we’ll all feel a lot of heat I’d like to avoid.”

  “How long has Robert Coleman been in charge? Maybe we can use inexperience as an excuse.”

  “Hardly. He replaced Theresa White after her death.” Lucinda looked uncomfortable. “He wasn’t who Richard would have chosen. But he was in no condition to help make a selection.”

  “The Pontifex normally chooses the Diplomatic Corps?”

  “Yes, he makes the recommendations. They have to be approved by the majority of our people over the age of forty, though.”

  “Who assigned the Diplomatic Corps when you all first arrived?” Chuckie asked.

  “Richard and Theresa did. But once she died and Ronald came on in her place, most of the original Diplomatic Corps resigned.”

  “Coleman moved the Pontifex’s supporters out and his own supporters in,” Chuckie said. The way he said it, I knew he had no doubts, meaning I had no doubts.

  “I suppose so.” Lucinda sounded as though she had some doubts. “None of us were in any condition to worry about it. Losing Theresa the way we did . . . the boys and Richard consumed all of our attention. Besides, the Diplomatic Corps perform a hugely important function for us. Robert is the person who ensures any issues we create get smoothed over and smiled away, if you will. He’s done a good job, honestly, they all have. We don’t get along with every government agency as well as we do with NASA, Angela, or Mister Reynolds.”

  “And Jeff would never say he and Chuckie get along.”

  “Neither would I,” Chuckie said. “So the people with the most influence in both the A-C community and with all the governmental agencies, outside of those in the actual wedding party, want to stop this marriage. And we have to stop them in a way that won’t cause repercussions in the A-C community.”

  “Nicely summed up, dude.”