Just One Night (Black Alcove #2)

by Jami Wagner

  “Oh, and who is he supposed to end up with, huh? Who’s he going to pick—someone like you?” Beth’s voice is quiet but still full of attitude. At this point, I’d be less afraid if she were yelling.

  “Well, I’m paying more attention to him these days than her, so yeah, someone who treats him better, like me, would be a great choice.”

  This time, I speak up before Beth can defend me again.

  “Living with him has only allowed you to see one side of the story, Abby. So unless you play a bigger role in the fact we aren’t speaking, I think it’s best if you just stop talking about it,” I say. I sound way more calm than how I’d planned for that to come out.

  “I’m just trying to make you see—”

  “I see just fine, Abby. And what I see between the two of you doesn’t look good.” I turn to leave because Kelsey and Ethan don’t deserve a scene like this today. But I just can’t resist a peek over my shoulder. “And if you really are trying to help him, you should probably stop touching him so much. It isn’t helping him or you at all.”

  I start to walk away before I’ve fully turned back around and I smack right into a chest— Logan’s chest. My breathing picks up immediately and I swallow, pushing my lips together before I say something I don’t mean. And maybe also because I miss him and from the way he’s looking at me right now, smiling is what I really want to do.

  I watch as his throat bobs while he looks me over. We haven’t been this close to each other in more than a week, not counting the night he showed up at Liam’s apartment. We were too busy fighting then to enjoy the fact we were together.

  When neither of us makes the motion to leave, Logan pins his eyes on mine.

  “Would you two mind giving us a minute?” he says.

  Beth and Abby walk past us without even a word or a glance. I break our eye contact, hoping to find someone who will call my attention, giving me an excuse to walk away right now. I could just do it—leave. But deep down I miss Logan and I want to be near him. That’s the exact reason this whole situation hurts so badly. I want him more than I could ever imagine, but I don’t know if our being together is right for me anymore.

  “Can we go somewhere to talk?” My body absorbs his deep, smooth voice, and before I know it, my head is bobbing and he’s taking my hand in his. I hear a few whispers as we walk through the crowd, but I keep my head down so I don’t have to see their faces. Logan leads us to a patio outside. The warm summer air hits my skin, relaxing me.

  “I’m so sorry. For everything,” he says quickly, taking my hand. “For not trusting you, for not giving Liam a chance, for driving down there and acting like a total jackass. I was scared of losing you and because of that, I’ve done nothing but push you away. The last thing I want is for us to be where we are now. I want to make this work.” He kisses my forehead and steps back to look me in the eyes. The pain I see in his makes me look away and take a deep breath.

  “Logan, I accept your apology, but things are different now. I don’t know if it’s me or if we rushed into this—”

  “Rushed it? Officially dating or not, we’ve been Sara and Logan for years. There’s definitely no rushing.”

  “And right when things were great, we made a choice that we didn’t think through.” All hope falls from his face. That wasn’t how I intended for that to come out.

  “You regret being in a relationship with me?”

  “No, I don’t.” I shake my head and press my lips together to keep the bottom one from shaking. Don’t cry, Sara, not yet.

  “Yes, you do. Have you heard what you just said? You think we rushed it and that we didn’t make the right choice.”

  I take a few choked breaths before I answer.

  “I never said it was the wrong choice, Logan. I just—”

  “Well, if it’s not the right one, then what is it?” His voice cracks. I wish he were mad right now. I could handle mad Logan, but heartbroken Logan eats me to pieces.

  I sigh and drop into the wooden chair nearby. I’m not making any sense. If I don’t even know what I want, how can I explain it to him?

  “I’m sorry, Logan. I really am. But I need more time to think about everything. A lot is going on, and I thought the idea of you and me was going to be the easiest thing in my life, but it’s not even close.”

  “I’ll quit the bar.”

  “What?” My head snaps up. Logan’s hands are on his hips as he stands in front of me nodding. He kneels and takes my hands in his.

  “We’re never going to make this work if we’re in separate states. I’m quitting and moving to Colorado. One of us needs to make a choice, because if neither of us is willing to make sacrifices, then this is going to blow up in our face.”

  “So then, I’m the selfish one for not coming back? I don’t want to be in a relationship where it looks like I’m putting in half the effort, just as I don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m not even talking to my boyfriend.”

  Tears sting in the back of my eyes. I stand quickly and head for the doors before Logan sees them.

  “That’s it then? Just like that, you don’t want to be together?”

  “Jesus, Logan, is that what I said?”

  “Sure as fuck sounded like it,” he growls.

  “I just need more time.” I have a full on waterworks display going now. “I’ll call you when I’m ready. I promise.”

  I let out a breath as I finally grab the door knob.

  “Sara, wait,” Logan whispers behind me. “I love you.”

  My heart crumbles.

  “I love you, too,” I say before stepping through the door and leaving without saying goodbye to anyone.

  * * *

  “So, how’s life treating you?” Liam asks when I enter the bar the next Wednesday morning. Concern is written all over his face as he crosses his arms over his chest.

  Dandy.

  “Great,” I tell him instead and walk right past him. I have been avoiding him all morning because every day when I get to work, he plays twenty questions, trying to get me to talk about Logan. I won’t do it. I don’t want to.

  “Yeah, by the sarcastic tone in your voice, I don’t believe you.”

  “Believe whatever you want, Liam. I’m the best I can be right now. My only focus now is on preparing this bar for the opening. Who knows? If everything goes well, I’ll even stay here, in Colorado—permanently,” I say more for dramatic effect than anything. The chances of my actually moving here are zero.

  Andi, too, watches me with worried eyes as I move calmly to the office. Her lips twitch like she wants to say something, but instead, she looks away. Why does everyone want to talk about this? I can’t even make up my own mind, and yet I’m supposed to know what to say when anyone asks about it.

  I close the door and drop onto the sofa, resting my head against the back. Why don’t I have one of these in Wyoming? I really need a couch in my office at the BA. I’m about five seconds into debating whether or not I want to make the call and order one when Liam bursts through the door.

  “We need to talk.” He walks right in and stands over me. All hints of concern are gone. He actually looks mad.

  I groan. “Why does everyone keep saying this to me? I don’t feel like talking to anyone. I just want to be me and live my life right now. I don’t want to worry about what’s going to happen between Logan and me. We didn’t find a way to trust each other. Why is everyone missing this?”

  “Stop, stop—I get it.” He holds up his hand.

  “You do?”

  “Yeah, but I was just going to tell you that the tables and chairs finally arrived and, well, they aren’t exactly what we ordered.”

  I spring from my spot on the sofa and push past him. Everything was going so smoothly. How can I be running into a mess right now? If things get held up now, I’ll have to push the opening back and then I’ll have to wait even longer to see Logan.

  Ugh!

  If I even want to. I have no idea what I’m doing.
I should be mad about the furniture and fix this, but everything makes me think of Logan. That’s the only thing I really want to fix.

  I mentally shake any thought of him from my head. If he really wanted to fix things, he wouldn’t wait for me to call him. The Logan I know would come right out and tell me I’m being stubborn. But he hasn’t. I don’t know who he is now or who I want to be. I can’t think about this right now.

  “Is the delivery guy still here?” I head for the door.

  “He went to call his manager to find out what went wrong.” Liam follows me out of the office. Andi and Brit—the other bartender slash waitress I hired—are sitting at the bar watching me, but the chairs aren’t anywhere in this room. I jump when the office door slams behind me and turn around in time to see Liam locking the door.

  “What are you doing?”

  “We can’t let you keep hiding yourself away, Sara. You need to talk about this, get it out there, vent, or whatever it is girls do to de-stress. Andi and Brittany are here to listen. I’m sticking around to make sure you don’t try to bolt.”

  “Bolt?” I huff. “Yes, I’m a bolter, so you better stick around.” I throw my hands up. “This is insane—there isn’t anything wrong with me.”

  “You’re wearing two different flip-flops,” Brittany speaks up.

  “And you hair is frizzy, like maybe you didn’t brush it today,” Andi adds.

  “I—” They can’t be serious. Yeah, so I’ve been a little sluggish; this is normal twenty- something behavior. “I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not. Logan is—”

  “Don’t start with me,” I interrupt Andi and take a deep breath and swallow. Just hearing his name shreds my heart into pieces. “I can’t, okay. Please. Just don’t.” My chin drops to my chest as I silently pray they won’t go on.

  “You have to talk about him. If you don’t, you’ll never be able to fix this.” Liam says from behind me. His hand gently touches my shoulder and I shrug away from him.

  “If any of you knew me, actually knew me, you would know that this is what Logan and I do. We love and we fight. Over and over. Not once have we been able to make it work.” Tears sting as my eyes and my lip quivers. “Being apart is what’s best for us right now, and who knows, it might be the only thing that can salvage at least a friendship for us.” The first tear flows down my cheek and the rest quickly follow. “I’m going to take the afternoon off. If the tables and chairs really do come in, I trust you can handle it.”

  Liam unlocks the office door and I step inside to grab my purse. I keep my head down as I pass the girls. I don’t want people to see me cry. Especially those who should be acting more like my employees than my friends. I can’t let them see me weak, but it’s too late.

  They just watched as my heart broke for Logan.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Logan

  “Stop playing like such a jackass!” Ethan passes the ball to me with as much force as he can. It hits my chest and I grunt. Conner and Ethan stop to take a breath.

  “Dude, what the fuck?” I shout at him. I tuck the ball under my arm and step toward him. Conner reaches out to stop me from taking another step.

  “Serves you right, man,” he says and pushes me back.

  “You’ve be acting like a prick all afternoon, and you’re taking it out on us and the game,” Ethan pipes up from across the court.

  I roll my eyes and move the ball to rest under my other arm. “You guys are acting like a bunch of babies because I can play basketball better than you. That’s all this is.”

  “No, man, it’s not just today.” Ethan stares hard at me.

  “Yeah, you’ve been in a mood since you and Sara split up. Don’t you think it’s time to call her and work this out? I can’t stand watching you mope around the apartment and then go to work just to act like a dick there, too.” This from Conner, who can’t even have a civil conversation with his son’s mother long enough to get an hour visit with him.

  “She’ll call when she’s ready, and we didn’t split up. It doesn’t work like that,” I snap back, throwing the ball at Ethan. I’m not in the mood to play anymore, and with the attitude they just brought out in me, it’s probably best I stay away from people right now. I walk off the court and into the men’s locker room. I stuff everything in my bag, sling it over my shoulder, and don’t look back as I exit the gym. I toss my bag into the back of my truck.

  Fuck. How much more space does she need? Why hasn’t she called?

  I slam the door once I’m inside and pull my phone from my pocket. I pull up Sara’s number and my thumb hovers over the call button. All I have to do it tap it. One tap and I’m calling her and praying that she answers. I stare at the little green button, confused, angry, and hurt. She’ll call. She always does.

  I click out of her contact and to my main calls. This time, I stare long and hard at the number I believe Alexis called me from a couple weeks ago. Would she answer if I called it back? Putting effort into contacting her would distract me from waiting on Sara.

  Sara or my sister?

  Fuck.

  That isn’t even a question. I close out of my phone completely and toss it onto the passenger seat. If I had chosen Sara on her birthday, instead of wanted to build a career, none of this would be happening right now.

  Sara

  I step into the brightly lit bar and don’t bother removing my sunglasses. No one wants to see my puffy red eyes, and my eyes don’t want to see the light. There isn’t anyone in view, which means if Liam and Andi are here, they’re probably in the back room. As if I’m pulled by a magnet, I head straight for the office. Thank goodness I don’t have to put up with any awkward interactions this morning. The other day was bad enough.

  “Morning,” Liam says, popping up from behind the bar.

  “Jesus,” I sputter, taking a step back and covering my heart with my hand. “What’re you doing down there?”

  He raises a broken glass. “I thought it would be cool if I had some awesome glass flipping move when we open.” He shrugs. “Bad idea.”

  “Clearly,” I reply in a less than friendly tone. He stares at me a minute before I continue toward the office.

  “How was the reception, for real this time, Sara?” he asks, knowing exactly where I’m heading. “I didn’t ask you about it more than once in the last two days, but today I figured why not? You’ve had a few days to cool down.”

  “It was fine.” I don’t turn around. I place my hand on the doorknob.

  “Just fine?”

  I ignore him. I don’t want to talk about this. I twist the knob, but it stops. I twist again and jiggle it a bit. He locked it. Again.

  I flip around, crossing my arms when I catch Liam with a smile on his face.

  “I had a feeling you were going to try to shut everyone out today. Not happening.”

  “Nope, sure isn’t,” Andi adds, stepping into view from the storage room.

  “This isn’t funny. Unlock the door.”

  “No can do, boss,” Liam says. “I may have misplaced the key.”

  “Liam, I swear to you, if you don’t unlock that door for me right now, you will be demoted.”

  “Ouch.” He laughs. “You’re going to have to make a more serious threat than that. Fixing whatever you have going on with your boyfriend, is worth losing my job.”

  “What am I missing?” Brit scowls at Liam.

  “Nothing,” I say, giving up quickly. I’m not in the mood to argue with anyone right now.

  I pull up a seat at the bar and bury my face in my elbow. “If I stay out here can I at least not talk about my weekend?”

  “What’s that? I couldn’t hear you.” Andi laughs. “OH, this came for you on Saturday. When are you changing your mailing address, by the way?”

  I never changed it because I didn’t plan on staying here long. Instead of answering her, I peek up to see what she has. A manila envelope sits in front of me.

  There isn’t a return address on it
, but my name is written on it in the same handwriting I spent hours of high school staring at.

  “Open it,” she says.

  I hesitate. Whatever’s inside is more than likely not going to help me feel better. Opening this at home is the best idea.

  Liam slides an envelope opener at me. Looks like I’m opening this now.

  I take my frustration out on the opener and tear the top off. Then I give them both an “are you happy now?” smile.

  On top is a note from Logan.

  Sara,

  Things are rough right now. I feel like my entire world is falling apart. That weekend when I was there, I was an idiot. I acted like a crazy, jealous boyfriend. I never want to act like that again.

  There’s no excuse for my behavior, but I think I realize how it came to be. I’ve been keeping something from you and I assumed you were doing the same. Finding my sister, Alexis, is something I’ve wanted for a while now. When I contacted the agency that placed us with our foster families, they couldn’t give me any information. Tyler and his computer skills helped me get an address. I wrote to her including my phone number and address, asking her to come to Wind Valley. I chose your father’s offer over you because I wanted to be here if she came. I chose finding my sister over you. That was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.

  We’ve never had the typical relationship. Even when we were just friends, you always meant more to me. I can’t imagine a life without you. If friends is what you want, I’ll do it, but I’m leaving the decision up to you.

  I’ll love you forever,

  Logan

  Tears fall uncontrolled down my face as I pull out the photos included with the letter. Photos from when we were younger up to my birthday last month. Dance photos, basketball games, barbeques, the lake, prom, and more. Logan has been a huge part of my life and, like him, I can’t imagine my life without him in it.

  Not even attempting to wipe the tears away, I excuse myself. How could we love each other the way we do and still act like this? I have to make a decision today. I’m either all in or all out; Logan deserves better than this.

  Logan

  It could be my newfound hate with the world that has made me stop caring, or I’ve been hiding the real Logan for a very long time. Right now, I hope it’s the former. Otherwise, I’m a total jackass.