Jonathan's Promise

by Hans M Hirschi

  After the discussion with Parker and Cody, the old memory had resurfaced, and now that Dan was gone, Jonathan wondered if he’d be breaking his promise to try to find out what had happened. Was anyone still alive who knew? Should he care to learn? Or was it better to let things slip? The only information Jonathan had was what was on Dan’s birth certificate: he was from Maine, born in a tiny coastal town way up north.

  As so often in such instances, Jonathan sought his husband’s blessing, and glanced up to the ceiling. “The kids have been asking. I doubt I’ll uncover anything you’d be ashamed of. Do you mind if I try?”

  ***

  A few days had passed since the luncheon with Parker and Cody, and dinner at Madame Wong’s was going wonderfully. The entire family was there, on Jeanette’s side, at least, and Parker quickly realized he’d worried for no reason. Cody was included in the family banter from the moment he met them, and nobody commented on his blindness. Jonathan wasn’t surprised, but when he received an appreciative nod from Parker, he was happy nonetheless.

  At the end of the meal, he took Parker and Cody aside, for a quick chat. “Listen, how would you two feel about taking a trip to Maine with me?”

  “Maine? What’s in Maine?”

  Jonathan chuckled. “Not much. Trees, mostly, but it’s where your granddad was from. I haven’t been able to shake the conversation we had the other day, about Dan’s family. I’ve always wanted to know myself, but I also wanted to respect his wishes, and his reasons for not telling me. What if we took a quick trip up there, to find out if we can learn more about his background? I doubt we’ll find much, but still, I’d like to know. Get some closure.”

  “I’d love to go,” Cody said. “I hear Maine is beautiful this time of year. Do you know what town he’s from?”

  “The birth certificate says Winter Harbor, but from what I can gather, the nearest hospital is in Bar Harbor, across the bay. I’ll show you on a map. That’s also where the airport is.”

  ***

  A few weeks later, Jonathan and the boys climbed out of a small commuter plane in Bar Harbor, Maine. It was bitter cold in the Northeast this time of year, and they quickly entered the terminal building where they rented a car for the duration of their stay. The drive to Winter Harbor and the inn where they had booked their rooms took about an hour. They were in no hurry and enjoyed the crisp, clean late-fall air, taking the time to appreciate amazing views over the Maine coastal landscape.

  After checking in, Jonathan casually inquired about Dan and his family.

  “Dan Jackson?” The girl at the counter repeated the name and smiled. “We have lots of Jacksons in this part of the country. Why don’t you go to the restaurant down on Main Street and ask there? It’s run by a Jackson. Maybe they know more?”

  They took the short drive down to the small village of Winter Harbor for lunch. The restaurant was cozy, the food delicious. Throughout the meal, Jonathan tried his best to hide his excitement at finally being in his husband’s town of birth and so close to learning more about Dan’s past. When they were done with their meal, the chef came out from the kitchen. Jonathan had noticed there were very few visitors in town, and naturally, people would be curious as to what brought an elderly man and the two young guys in his company out here.

  “Welcome to Winter Harbor. I hope the meal was to your satisfaction?”

  Jonathan smiled and extended his hand in greeting. “Yes, sir, it was delicious. Your proximity to the sea certainly seems to provide you with the best possible ingredients. We in the Midwest can only dream about crab and fresh ocean fish like this.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you have local delicacies as well. Where are you boys from?”

  “Chicago,” Jonathan responded. “I’ve lived there all my life. This is my grandson Parker, and his fiancé Cody.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you. What brings you to our town? You missed the tourist season by, oh, about three months.” The man chuckled at his own joke.

  “My late husband, Dan Jackson, was born here in Winter Harbor. He left the town when he was very young and was never really into talking about his past. I figured I’d see if I could find any clues to his youth, get to know the place where he was from. History, you know. It’s nice to know your roots.”

  “Dan Jackson?” The chef frowned. “I don’t think I’ve heard that name. When was he born?”

  “Oh, he just passed away, ninety years old,” Jonathan said solemnly. “He would’ve moved away a long time before you were born.”

  “I see.” The restaurant chef was thinking. “The best shot you have at getting answers is probably from my uncle Sam. He lives in a retirement home near Bar Harbor. He’s in his eighties, he might remember something. There are a lot of Jacksons around here, some related to each other. You don’t have any other information?”

  “I’m afraid not. My husband was very quiet about his youth and never spoke of his family. I suspect there must’ve been a reason why he left, and why he never wanted to talk about it, but I always respected his wish not to pry. But now that he’s gone, I figured it would give me a better picture of who he was, and it might also help me to understand him better.”

  “Well, as I said, Uncle Sam might be a good starting point. Or you could try the record office.”

  After they had paid for their meal, they drove around the bay to Bar Harbor, to the retirement home where this Sam Jackson apparently lived. They asked the receptionist for his room number and were guided down a corridor to where Sam’s room was situated.

  Jonathan knocked on the door and heard a muffled “come in.” He opened the door and stepped inside.

  “Mr. Jackson? Mind if we come in?”

  “Visitors? That’s always a welcome distraction around here. Come on in.” The man beckoned to them.

  Jonathan and the boys stepped inside the room, where Sam was sitting in a reclining chair, watching something on the vid-screen.

  Jonathan stepped up to the old man and extended his hand. “Good day, sir. My name is Jonathan, and this is my grandson Parker, and his fiancé Cody. Your nephew at the Fisherman’s Inn in Winter Harbor suggested we make contact with you. You see, my late husband, Dan Jackson, was born in Winter Harbor, and I’m trying to find out more about him. He passed away a few weeks ago, and he never much talked about his past or his family. I was wondering if you might have any knowledge of him.”

  “Dan Jackson, you say, Daniel Jackson?” Sam’s eyes bore into Jonathan and his mouth was wide open.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I haven’t heard that name in a very long time. Must’ve been seventy years ago, at least. There was a scandal in town, huge, but it was all hushed down, and I was just a kid back then. I wasn’t told anything. But I remember Dan, all right. His side of the Jacksons have been in this area forever, while my family only moved here in the early twentieth century. We’re not related, but there are so many Jacksons around here, you’d think we’re all one big family.” He laughed and began to cough heavily. “Can you pass me some water, please?”

  Parker looked around and found a glass on the night stand next to Sam’s bed. He rushed to the bathroom to fill it with fresh water. “Here you go, sir.”

  “Thank you, son.” Sam took a sip from the glass before he continued. “This is a conservative town, and people don’t like scandals. They don’t like it when things don’t go as they’ve always gone. So when something out of the ordinary happens in your family, it is hushed and buried. Given that Dan was gay, I presume it may have had something to do with that, but I’m afraid I don’t know any more than that. But I’ll tell you who might, Jack Bensen, two doors down the hall. The old coot’s Dan’s age, almost ten years my senior. He might know what it was all about. Besides, he’s one of your own, if you catch my drift…” Sam raised his glass of water and then took another sip.

  Jonathan felt hopeful, yet disappointed that Sam didn’t know more. “I greatly appreciate the information you’ve given me. We’ll see if we c
an talk to Mr. Bensen. Thank you, sir.”

  Sam waved away Jonathan’s thanks. “Don’t mention it. You have a good day.” He returned his attention to his vid-screen.

  Jonathan and the boys left the room, keeping their eyes on the doors as they continued along the hall, in search of Mr. Bensen. Just like Sam said, his name was on the second door they came to. Jonathan knocked but didn’t get any response. He tried again. Still no sound, he opened the door and called, “Mr. Bensen, are you up?” He heard a faint noise from inside and stepped into the room. Jack Bensen was in bed, barely awake.

  “Mr. Bensen? Are you all right, sir?”

  “I’m not feeling very well, but please, come in and have a seat.”

  “If you don’t mind, I have some questions I was hoping you could help me with?”

  “Sure. My hearing’s pretty shot, and my hearing aids are in repair, so you’ll have to speak up.”

  Jonathan approached the old man’s bed and said as loudly as he figured he’d need to, “Good day, sir. My name is Jonathan Jackson. My late husband was Daniel Jackson, or Dan. We just came from your neighbor, Sam Jackson, who said you might be able to tell us a bit more about Dan. He didn’t talk much about his upbringing, and I’d like to get some answers.”

  Old Bensen turned to Jonathan and stared at him. “Dan was married? To you?”

  Jonathan smiled. “Yes, we were together for almost sixty years. Married for fifty-seven. He passed away just a few weeks ago. Cancer. We had a good run, but I miss him terribly.”

  “Dan was married…” Old Bensen said the words as if it was the most ridiculous thing ever. “Was he happy?”

  “Yes, sir, he was. Does that come as a surprise to you?” Jonathan wasn’t sure what to make of the old man’s odd reaction, but then he saw tears appear in the old man’s eyes, and he started to worry. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m sorry. It’s just I haven’t heard his name in over seventy years. Nobody in this town really knows what happened, but I guess times have changed, and maybe I can tell you what you need to know. Dan was a good kid, but he was unusual for a Jackson. His family were part of the branch of the Jacksons that have been here since Winter Harbor was founded.

  “They were running the town, bullying everyone into doing things their way. But Dan was different. He was kind and gentle, though his brother was a big school bully, and his sister pretty much the same. Dan and I were friends back in school, and even though we were only kids at the time…” Jack Bensen paused and looked Jonathan in the eyes for a minute or more. “We fell in love with each other. It was a long time ago, and it was a very different town. We kept everything hush-hush.

  “Nobody knew. In school, we barely looked at each other, and certainly never spoke to each other. As a Jackson, Dan was popular, by right of his name—or feared, depending on how you look at it. One day, he and I were hanging out in the woods behind the school, after school, when his older brother John caught us. He beat the crap out of both of us. I mean, it was bad. I couldn’t get up, and had it not been for some other kids hearing the fracas and coming to break things up, I think he’d have killed both of us.

  “They had to take me to the hospital. I had several broken ribs, and my right femur was broken, too. Dan was slightly better off, but even he was bruised for weeks. I never saw him again after that incident. The Jacksons tried to pay my family to leave, but my dad was a stubborn mule and refused. We were shunned for a long time, and even now I feel the pain…in my femur, when the weather changes. A little reminder of that painful day when Dan disappeared. There were rumors he was shipped off to a boarding school in Boston. I don’t know if that’s true.

  “The Jacksons were a powerful family, in fact, some of them are still in town. His brother died young, at sea, during a storm, and his sister passed away about ten years ago. Her name was Nancy, she married another Jackson, and I believe her daughter Mary is still in Winter Harbor. I could be mistaken though. My memory isn’t what it once was.”

  Jonathan was sitting silently by Jack’s bedside, listening to the story. Given his own youth and upbringing, he wasn’t really surprised to hear that other people also had bad experiences of coming out, or being gay. After all, it happened to a lot of people back then. Sadly, it still did in some places and families, particularly those of faith. It was unbelievable the kind of atrocities people were capable of in the name of a god.

  “Thank you, Mr. Bensen. I’m really sorry to hear about your bad experiences. I hope you found happiness in your life later?” Jonathan wasn’t sure it was a good thing to open this particular can of worms, but he felt he needed to console the old man.

  “No, not really,” Jack said calmly, yet his voice was laden with sadness. “I never met anyone like Dan again. Being gay here means being ostracized, and I was for a very long time. But I’ve always felt at home here. I didn’t want to move away, start a life elsewhere. I would’ve missed Winter Harbor too much. Heck, and now I’m on the wrong side of the bay after all. Life, eh?” He smiled weakly. “Tell me about Dan… What was he like?”

  Jonathan pulled his vid-phone from his jacket and brought up a few photos of Dan to show to the old man. Jack began to cry softly, as he looked at the pictures—an old one of Dan outside their cabin, a wedding shot, a photo taken a few years ago at a charity ball in the city.

  “He was a very handsome man. I’m glad he found happiness in the end.” Jack was tired, and Jonathan knew their time was almost up.

  “Yes, sir, he was. And so was I. He was an amazing man, and I miss him dearly.”

  “And he never once mentioned me?” Jack asked, a pleading quality to his voice.

  “I’m sorry, sir, but no. He never spoke of his home. I’m not sure what happened, or what prompted him to do so, but whenever I asked, he’d just shut up and go away. Eventually, he specifically asked me not to talk about his family. So I stopped. It was just before we got married, and I wondered if he wanted to invite his family to the wedding. I can see now how that would’ve been a bad idea…”

  “Yes, I doubt they would’ve seen that as something worth celebrating. But I’m glad he found you and that you led a good life together. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m really tired. Maybe you can find more answers from Mary Jackson, or whatever her name is now…”He waved his hand to dismiss his guests.

  It saddened Jonathan to know that there had been love in Dan’s life before—before him, and Sean—but that he hadn’t been able to talk about it. Or maybe he didn’t feel like talking about it. Maybe he was ashamed of what had happened, for having caused Jack all this pain. They’d most likely never know, and Jonathan knew instinctively that Mary wouldn’t have any more answers. But he wanted to meet her anyway. She was family, after all—the only one he had on Dan’s side. It was important to meet her, not so much for him, but for the kids and the grandkids to know their roots and maybe make a connection.

  They returned to the inn for the night, had a quiet meal, and talked about the events of the day.

  * * * * *

  Chapter 7 - Cousin Mary

  The next morning, Jonathan called Mary Jackson. He’d found her in an online directory, and she picked up the vid-call almost instantly. The resemblance was eerie; she looked like a female version of Dan at that age.

  “Good morning, Ms. Jackson, my name is Jonathan Jackson. My husband was Dan Jackson. I understand that you’re his niece. I’m currently in town and would very much like to meet you, if that would be okay with you?”

  The woman on the other end seemed surprised to no end, but collected herself quickly and studied Jonathan through the screen. “Dan Jackson, you say? I’ve only heard rumors about my uncle. My mother rarely spoke about him. All she told me was he’d left the area as a young man and never returned. She passed away a few years ago. You said he was your husband? Is he still alive?”

  “No, ma’am. Dan left us in October, which is why we’re here. Would you mind if we continued this conversation in person?”

>   “No, of course not, but would you be able to come to me? My hips are giving me trouble, and I don’t leave the house much.” Mary gave Jonathan her address, and they agreed to meet up mid-morning.

  Jonathan rushed through his breakfast; he was excited. He was finally going to meet a relative of Dan’s, maybe one of the last surviving who had known Dan and might be able to shed light on the Jackson side of the family.

  The boys slept in and didn’t make it to the breakfast table until nine, by which point Jonathan had already eaten and been for a walk. When he told them, they were as excited as he was.

  “That makes her my second cousin, doesn’t it?” Parker asked.

  “I guess so, yes.” Jonathan tried to make the connections in his mind. “She’s Dan’s niece, which makes your mom and Mary first cousins. How exciting, especially since there aren’t any on my side. I hope she’s amenable to the idea of having family. After what we heard yesterday, who knows what her feelings will be toward us?” Jonathan’s thoughts were running ahead of him. “Well, there’s only one way to find out, and that is for you two to finish up your breakfast so we can leave. She lives a few miles from here—it’ll only take us about fifteen minutes to drive out to her.”

  ***

  They reached Mary’s house just after ten, and Jonathan rang the door bell. It took a moment for Mary to come to the door, and Jonathan could tell she wasn’t exaggerating when she said she had trouble walking. She was on crutches, and moved very slowly, very deliberately.

  “Good morning. Please come in,” she said, moving to the side and gesturing for them to enter. “I can’t believe I’m meeting family I didn’t even know I had. My mother barely acknowledged her brother.”

  Mary closed the door behind the three men and indicated along the hall. “Please, proceed straight ahead, to the far end, then take the last door on the right, to the living room.”

  Parker led Cody along the hall. He needed help in unknown places and didn’t like to use his stick inside strangers’ houses, afraid he might hit and smash something. Jonathan followed suit and walked slowly, with Mary a step behind.