Jonathan's Promise

by Hans M Hirschi

  “Wow, no wonder you were so proud. Are you still in touch with Mindy?”

  Jonathan shook his head. “No, that wasn’t really the plan, ever. Jeanette has the option of contacting her, of course, but since there is no genetic tie, given that Mindy was only a gestational surrogate, there was no real reason. Jeanette never showed any interest. She knows that she has a mother somewhere, of course, but she’s always seen us, me and Dan, as her only parents.”

  “I’m not sure I could live without knowing my parents.”

  “Well, you see, that’s really the point. What makes a parent a parent? Does donating an egg or sperm make you a parent? Or does waking up in the middle of countless nights, to comfort, change diapers, change bedding after bouts of sicknesses, mend broken hearts, does that make you a parent? Jeanette grew up with two parents, they just happen to be men.” Jonathan’s voice had taken on a frustrated quality, hard even.

  “Please don’t be mad at me, and forgive me if I say uneducated things. I’ve just never considered all of this. I grew up with a mother and a father. My mom was always at home, a traditional homemaker, while dad was working.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with that, Marc. But believe me when I say that there is nothing a woman can provide a child that a man can’t, and vice versa, except for breastfeeding. But when it comes to values, virtues, or being a role model, a man can be as ‘mothering’ as any woman, and vice versa. Just imagine all the children who grow up with only one parent. You have no idea how often Dan and I had this discussion with people. It’s been a while now. Today most people don’t even blink when they see a rainbow family, but Dan and I, we belonged to that first generation of out-and-proud gay parents, and we constantly had to explain ourselves, which is probably why you found that article online.

  “You see, Dan was always very handy. He’d be working on our cabin, renovating, repairing, fixing things. Some would’ve called him a man’s man. I never had that interest. I’m not lost with a hammer in my hand, but it’s just never been an interest of mine. So Dan would teach the kids how to do woodwork. But he was also a good cook, something people usually attribute as a feminine trait. And both he and I were, are, in touch with our emotions. We’d cry, laugh, and get upset. The kids learned the full spectrum of human emotions early on, from both of us. We never told them that ‘boys don’t cry,’ or whatever. Because we cried, but we were also tough, if need be, and we protected our family.”

  “I understand. It all makes perfect sense. It’s just when you don’t think about it, you don’t even consider it.” Marc put his hand on Jonathan’s, to let him know that he needn’t explain anymore. “I get it, parenting skills are not located between one’s legs. Thank God for that…”

  They both laughed at that comment.

  “Tell me,” Jonathan said. “How are your parents? Have you told them yet?”

  Marc shook his head. “No, I haven’t. I’ve not even spoken to them. I probably should. I don’t know. I’ve been so absorbed by us that I haven’t even thought to call them. Last I talked to them was just before we left New York, when I went for one of my bi-annual visits, and they were doing good. They’re both retired, well, Dad is anyway. Mom’s a housewife, and will probably work until she drops dead. I think they’ve both given up on me. I mean, they’re proud of their son sailing the seven seas. They like that I call them from a different port each time—it gives them something to brag to their neighbors about. But I think somewhere deep down they’re sad I don’t have a partner, that they’ll never have grandchildren. I’m an only child, so whatever hope they had died when I didn’t settle down. Not that they’d ever said anything. They never even hinted at it. Not once. They’re really great parents. But I can see it in their eyes when they talk about their friends and neighbors, and their kids and grandkids. I can see it, and it’s always been hard on me. I love kids, I really do.”

  “Well, it’s not too late, Marc. You’re only forty…” Jonathan offered.

  “I know, thirty-nine, even.” He chuckled. “But still. I know that I’m done. On the other hand, if you and I make it, I inherit an entire family… Instant grandfather. Not bad!”

  “Great-grandfather!” Jonathan corrected. “Rick’s oldest son just had his first kid, the cutest girl. I’m so sorry Dan didn’t get to see her.”

  “Wow. I’m way too young for that!” Marc laughed, but then grew serious. “What do you think your family will say? About us? When are you going to tell them?”

  Jonathan frowned and became very pensive.

  “Sorry. Did I say something wrong?”

  “No, not at all. I’ve been thinking about it every day since you moved in with us. I mean Parker and Cody know, and they’ve been most gracious about it, if you set aside Parker’s initial reaction. For all I know, the rumor has already reached them, so I have a limited window of opportunity. I was thinking of inviting them all out to meet us when we reach Hawaii. We’ll be there in a couple of weeks. Or do you think that’s too soon for a grand family introduction?”

  Marc was thinking about how to respond. He had known Jonathan for a little over a month now, and he was madly in love, but to meet the family after two months? He wasn’t sure that was such a good idea.

  “Don’t you think it might be too soon? I mean, it feels like I’ve known you forever, but it’s only really been a month, and people may not take us seriously. And I don’t want to leave a bad impression or have them think I’m some kind of gold digger.”

  Jonathan contemplated Marc’s words, and they had merit. “Why don’t we ask the boys, see what they think? Maybe they’ll be able to give us a better idea of what to expect?”

  Marc nodded. “Speaking of which, we need to get going. It’s almost time for lunch.”

  ***

  “Did you boys have fun at the beach?” Jonathan asked when Parker led Cody to their table at the restaurant. Jonathan and Marc had arrived early and had already been seated.

  “Looks like you got yourself a bit of a burn there, Parker,” Marc noted.

  “Yeah, it was pretty good, but now I’m starving.” Parker pulled out a chair for Cody before sitting down between him and Marc. “What did you guys do?”

  “We went to the old town, window shopping. Talking. Getting to know each other some more…” Jonathan was teasing Parker with the last sentence, and Parker picked up on it.

  “I hear you’ve been getting to know each other day and night.” Parker laughed.

  “You know?” Marc was horrified.

  “We know,” Cody said factually.

  Parker filled in, laughing some more. “It’s been hard to avoid. You weren’t exactly subtle, or quiet.”

  “Park! That is so not true. You were completely clueless and still would be, if I hadn’t told you…” Cody slapped his fiancé lightly across the back, mocking him.

  Jonathan and Marc were both blushing, looking at the boys having fun at their expense, before finally joining their laughter.

  “Well, Marc, it seems you can move your stuff tonight. Since they already know, I see no reason not to wake up next to you every morning.”

  “I can’t wait.” Marc said and kissed Jonathan on the cheek. And they all laughed some more.

  The waiter came with menus and their conversation was interrupted while they studied the menus and made their selections.

  As soon as the waiter had vanished into the kitchen to place the order, Jonathan spoke up. “We were talking about it this morning, and we’d like your input on something. Parker, have you told your mother about us?”

  Parker shook his head. “No, I figure that’s your job. Let her chew your head off. Why should I sacrifice myself?” He was still in teasing mode, but quickly realized that Jonathan had been serious. “I’m sorry, Grandpa. That’s not what I meant. I’m sure she’ll be fine. Eventually.”

  “Eventually?” Marc questioned.

  “Well,” Parker continued, “we were also talking about it this morning. Thing is, Marc, this
isn’t about you, or who you are. I really like you, and I can see how good you are to Grandpa, and for him. All I have to do is look at the two of you, look at Grandpa. He’s visibly younger, and he’s smiling again. I know you make him happy. But for me, at the beginning, it was really hard imagining him with someone else. When Granddad died, I never thought Grandpa would find happiness again. This isn’t about what he deserves, or that we don’t want him to be happy. It’s just difficult to get used to. And I’ve only known him for twenty-one years. My mom and Uncle Rick have known him a lot longer…”

  “I see your point,” Jonathan said calmly. “I really do. But I may not have much time left, and I don’t want to have to choose between Marc and my family. I need both to be happy.”

  “I get that, Grandpa. I’m sure Mom will, too. So will Uncle Rick. Tell them that you met someone. Send them a letter, explain how you met, what you feel. Then let it sink in for a bit. I think that’s better than to tell her on a vid-call, where she’ll feel she has to react. Or where she might say something she regrets.”

  Cody leaned over to Parker and kissed him. “You can be really smart sometimes. I love you!”

  “Why, thank you. I get that from being around you so much lately…”

  Jonathan thought about his grandson’s words, and he agreed. A letter would probably be a wise thing to do. “I was thinking about inviting them out to Hawaii, but Marc thinks it might be too soon.”

  “In two weeks? I don’t know. Probably. I’m not sure Mom and Rick will adjust that quickly. Why not wait a bit longer? Let them want to meet Marc?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “If you send that letter now, they’ll know about you, and about him. And they’ll start to think, worry maybe, freak out, even. And they’ll want to know who this man is who’s stealing their father’s heart. Eventually, curiosity will get the better of them, and they’ll ask to meet him. Knowing Mom, that won’t take very long.”

  Jonathan was suddenly unsure of his own plans. “I’d hate to turn this into a circus. I don’t want Marc to think that everybody is coming just to see him, to vet him. That would be odd, not just for him, but for me, too.”

  Parker offered a potential solution. “What if there was another reason to come to see you?”

  “What would that be? Christmas and New Year is behind us, so’s my birthday, and Easter isn’t until April?”

  “A wedding?”

  Marc and Jonathan simultaneously dismissed that idea. “No, that’s way too soon!”

  Parker laughed. “I wasn’t talking about you guys.”

  “Then whose?” Cody asked, but his sixth sense had already realized.

  “Ours, silly!” Parker laughed. He got up and knelt before Cody.

  “Cody, love of my life. I know we’re already engaged, because we both want to spend the rest of our lives together. But somehow, the discussion this morning has had my mind go stir crazy, and I want to make sure that you are mine, officially, and for everyone to know, as soon as possible.” Parker’s voice began to crack as he continued. “I don’t want you to ever, ever feel that you cannot count on me to be there for you, come what may, even that which we discussed this morning. Therefore, Cody Jefferson Thomas, would you do me the honor of marrying me?” And with a chuckle, he added, “I’ve always dreamt of a Polynesian wedding…”

  Cody was stunned to silence, yet his honey-colored eyes were fixated on his fiancé kneeling before him. He saw without seeing. He took Parker’s head in his hands and pulled him to his face, to kiss him.

  Marc’s eyes were wet, too. “I take it, that’s a yes!” And he kissed Jonathan in sheer happiness. They watched as the two boys shared a long moment of intimacy and closeness, as the entire restaurant erupted in applause. Eventually, all four men got up and hugged, and congratulations were exchanged. Jonathan ordered champagne for the entire restaurant to celebrate.

  “But we can’t plan a wedding in two weeks,” Jonathan cautioned.

  Parker laughed. “I wasn’t talking about Hawaii, but why don’t we get married on Bora Bora? We’ll be there in March, right?”

  “Bora Bora it is.” Jonathan nodded and, turning to Marc, he added, “We have almost two months to get you ready for the lion’s den. Think Carlos would be willing to help us?”

  * * * * *

  Chapter 14 - The Letter

  Writing the letter proved more difficult than Jonathan had imagined. But even more difficult than writing it—and both Parker and Cody had read it to make sure it was Jackson style, and that nobody could infer insanity on Jonathan’s part—was sending the damn thing. After having pushed the send button, Jonathan felt he was going insane after all.

  The hours passed, and his vid-phone remained silent. He seriously considered calling Rick and Jeanette, but decided against it. Finally, about three hours after having sent it, he received a response, short, concise from Jeanette:

  Got your letter. Need time to process the news. I’ll be in touch. Love you, J.

  “Process? Well, at least she seems to still love me,” Jonathan said powerlessly, as he showed the message to the boys and Marc.

  “What did you expect?” Marc asked.

  “That’s better than I expected,” Parker said. “I was sure Mom would go ballistic. This is excellent news, unless of course she’s on a plane here to kill Marc!” He and Cody laughed, but Jonathan didn’t see the humor.

  “Please leave us alone for a bit, okay?” Jonathan asked the boys, and they left the suite to roam the ship, which was approaching the Panama Canal.

  “What do you think? Is my life in danger?” Marc leaned in and put his head against Jonathan’s shoulder. He wasn’t afraid.

  Four long days later, Jonathan woke up to a letter awaiting him. Judgment Day!

  * * * * *

  Dear Dad!

  Let me first thank you for the letter you sent, and the photos you attached of you and Marc. He seems to be a very nice young man.

  After I read your letter, I cried, for a long time. It seemed as if Papa had died again. I know, that makes very little sense, although you referenced similar doubts and emotions in your letter. And I felt just like you said Parker had. Yes, plus betrayal and anger and all that.

  Let me apologize right away for the negative emotions and the four-letter words I screamed at you during those first hours. Then I called Rick, and we both did the same thing all over again, crying, cursing, questioning your sanity.

  After my call to Rick, I sent you that first note. Then I talked to Paul, for the longest time. Good old Paul, the man is a saint. He talked some sense and rationale into me, and after a couple of bottles of really expensive wine, we finally went to bed and got some sleep. While you vacation, the rest of us still have to get up and work, or go to school.

  The kids say hi, by the way. They miss their grandpa. How are my firstborn and Cody? Are they behaving? If not, please let me know, and I’ll come join you for a week or two. A cruise sounds just like something I could use right about now…

  The second day was filled with denial, depression. You know the psychological process, hell I do, too, or so I should, given my training. But alas, not even the pros get to skip the steps. But I won’t bore you with all the details, and I’ll skip right to day three, acceptance and resolution (which would be this letter).

  Change never comes easy. And this is change on a major scale, or so it would seem, yet is it really? Given your and Papa’s history, who am I to question your right to happiness? I remember when we were younger, the discussions we would have at the dinner table about second chances, about age differences and all that, and I realized that you and Papa had already proved me wrong on every single objection I could come up with. Every single one.

  So here we are, and I’m sorry. I really am, for ever doubting you, and I am happy that you have found love again, and Paul, the kids and I look very much forward to Bora Bora and the chance to meet Marc. Please don’t tell Parker this, but am I right that this idea of his, t
o get married on a crazy expensive island paradise is more about giving us a reason to meet Marc than his absolute need to marry Cody right this instance? Just wondering, knowing my son…

  Anyway, you can expect a letter from Rick, too. He’ll probably need a bit more time. You know he and Papa were always very close. He’s getting there, and everything will be all right.

  Please give Marc a hug and welcome him into our family for me!

  I love you and I miss you.

  Jeanette

  ps: Paul and the kids say hi…

  pps: Would you please tell that son of mine to call me? It’s been weeks…

  * * * * *

  Jonathan read the letter, re-read it, and then read it again. He wanted to make sure he picked up all the nuances in Jeanette’s words, make sure she really was fine with him. Next to him, Marc was still asleep, his back turned to Jonathan, breathing regularly and calmly. It made Jonathan feel good to finally have Marc spend the entire night with him. He slept better, too, and it was blissful to wake up and feel the warm touch of a body next to his, and all the wonderful things it did to his own.

  I really am turning into a teenager again.

  “Marc, babe, wake up. We have a response from home. Seems you get to live after all…” He chuckled and handed Marc his vid-phone. Marc took the device and stretched, yawning. Jonathan looked at the man next to him, the muscular physique, the trimmed hairy chest, morning wood, and suddenly he regretted handing him the phone.