No is a Four-Letter Word

by Chris Jericho

  So here I am almost twenty-seven years later, and even though I’ve been blessed by the Lord all across the board, I’ve also put in the Herculean time and backbreaking effort necessary to accomplish whatever I set my mind to. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been worth it and I wouldn’t change a thing, because in the words of Rob Halford, I’ve got “one life and I’m gonna live it up!”

  I did it . . . you can do it.

  Love you guys!

  Chris Jericho

  April 28, 2016–October 2, 2016

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Thanks to God for allowing me to write book number four and for always being in my corner. No matter what I do, he’s always got my back and I couldn’t succeed and survive in this crazy life without him. As always . . . JESUS ROCKS!

  Thanks to Jessica, Ash, Cheyenne, and Sierra for loving me and for the sacrifices they face when I’m out making the donuts.

  Thanks to Peter Thomas Fornatale, my long time partner in literary crime for helping me edit this book and giving me additional tips, pointers, and valuable advice. Even though I’m all grown up when it comes to writing books, I still need your love, need your love, need your love, need your lovvvvvve . . . (figure that one out!).

  Thanks to Ben Schafer and the fine folks at Da Capo Press. Looking forward to a long and FROOTFUL relationship!

  Thanks to my awesome agent, Marc Gerald (and his killer assistant Kim Koba), for giving me the great idea for the format of this book. Many more to come, Marc!

  Thanks to Christine Marra for helping with the editorial production of this book.

  Hope I didn’t forget anybody, but if I did…you know what happens? You know what happens when Y2J forgets your name in the acknowledgments of this book? You know what happens if I forgot you? YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!!

  Also please remember, anybody spelling the song “Halloween” from the group “Helloween” with an “E” and the group with an “A” will immediately be turned into a big, ugly, half-price–selling pumpkin. That is all.

  Up The Irons!

  Illustrations

  When Metal Hammer magazine accused Fozzy of being “heavy as lettuce,” we responded by mailing them an actual head of lettuce and a lovely blue and-white-checked napkin. (Photo by Jack Slade)

  Just as this picture was taken, Gene was reacting to the news that it was Speewee’s birthday. “Who gives a shit,” he said . . . then stuck his tongue (apparently) down Speewee’s throat. (Photo by Paul Stanley)

  Lemmy and I salute you! Even though I’ve got some serious bedhead in this pic, Lem and I had a blast smoking cigs, drinking vodka, and talking rock ’n’ roll all afternoon in his apartment. (Photo by Cheryl Keuleman)

  I flew Don, Lance, and Lenny to New York City to celebrate my twenty-fifth anniversary with me. We had a blast and Lance actually laughed . . . more than once! (Photo by random dude in the hotel lobby)

  One of the greatest weeks of our career was playing with KISS on their Kruise in 2015. Frank was so excited, but sad that he didn’t get to do his Paul Stanley imitation for the Starchild. I was sad that Gene didn’t fully French kiss me. (Photo by Will Byington)

  I paid ten bucks for this piece drawn by a street artist when Lance, me, Don, and Lenny ate in a New York City diner in 2015. Hope the guy used the ten bucks on art lessons. (Photo by Jericho)

  Big Show and I realize we aren’t in Kansas anymore . . . or anywhere that allows women into WWE shows. Being in Saudi Arabia made me uncomfortable. (I always forget how huge Show is until I see him standing next to me in a pic.) (Photo by Kane)

  Frank and me with Lionel (who survived the Bataclan terrorist attack in Paris only one week earlier) in Vauréal, France.

  He refused to miss the Fozzy concert even though the entire country was in unrest. (Photo by Rich Ward)

  Billy Grey and I see a mouse onstage at a Fozzy gig in Wales. (Photo by Darren Griffiths)

  Jammin’ “Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers” with Scott Ian and Slash at Lemmy’s seventieth birthday party at the Whiskey in Los Angeles. Lem passed away only a couple of weeks later. (Photo by random rocker at the Whiskey)

  I love this pic of me and Keef. He asked me what my good side was because “I’m sixty-nine years old . . . I don’t have a good side!” He also smelled really good. (Photo by Jimmy Fallon)

  Paul and I rejoice after finding out we have no cavities at the grand opening of the Oviedo, Florida, Rock & Brews. (Photo by Speewee)

  The team of Jericho and Styles was amazing, even if the official T-shirt was not. If you have one, in a few years it’ll either be a valuable collector’s item or this generation’s version of a Moppy shirt. (Photo by Xavier Woods)

  The calm before the WrestleMania storm at AT&T Stadium in Arlington . . . and in the eye of the storm only a few hours later. (Photo courtesy of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.)

  Ambrose torments me in Salt Lake City, as a stupid idiot fan in the front row captures my pain. (Photo by Stupid Idiot Fan)

  My dad hasn’t quite grasped the concept of the “Selfie Stare” yet. But he’s the Baby Faced Assassin, so he can do whatever the hell he wants. (Photo by Jericho)

  Stepping out of a limo in Tokyo at 7 a.m. with a drink in hand. Well, my middle name IS Keith . . . (Photo by Orlando Colon)

  Who says faces have to be in the picture for it to count as a classic shot? Sir Paul and I mimic his famous Sgt. Pepper pose and turn the backs of our heads toward the camera at the 2015 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. (Photo by Mr. Kite)

  Mike Lozanski and I conquered Monterrey, Mexico, together and were inseparable. We lived together, drank together, and wore cheesy tassled ring jackets together.

  I miss him. (Photo by Corazon De Leon fan)

  Sixty-nine tacks punctured my flesh during the Asylum match . . . and it was MY choice to take the bump! What a way to make a living. (Photo courtesy of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.)

  After a picture of the tack bump went viral, dozens of hilarious Photoshopped memes appeared online, including the “Creation of the Tack Bump” and “The Fifth Beatle.” (Memes by creative Friends of Jericho)

  With my beautiful family snorkeling in Maui. Jessica, Cheyenne, Ash, Sierra, and I enjoyed Shep Gordon’s hospitality to the max, and we will never forget him or his wonderful assistant Nancy Meola. “Aloha, Shep!” (Photo by snorkel boat captain)

  You’ll believe a man can fly . . . or at least jump off a twenty-foot steel cage at forty-three years old. I’d do it today too if it made for a better match. (Photo courtesy of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.)

  Scarves, vests, and clipboards . . . I’m at the point in my career where I have the confidence to take a chance and get almost anything over. Which is a good thing, because I’d look absolutely ridiculous if I didn’t! (Photo courtesy of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.)

  Here’s the move that I single-handedly got unbanned by Vince McMahon. Funny thing is, it’s so easy to take and gets such a great reaction that I’d take it every night if I had to. (Photo courtesy of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.)

  First published in Great Britain in 2017

  by Weidenfeld & Nicolson

  an imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd

  Carmelite House, 50 Victoria Embankment

  London EC4Y 0DZ

  An Hachette UK Company

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  Copyright © 2017 by Chris Jericho

  Additional editing by Peter Thomas Fornatale

  The moral right of Chris Jericho to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is

  available from t
he British Library.

  ISBN 978-1-4091-6558-3 (ebook)

  www.orionbooks.co.uk