Bittersweet Seraphim (The Seraphim Series)

by Debra Anastasia

But first, he needed to find Jenny. He had to break the door, again. There was no one home, but something was wrong. Out of place. Nero had no idea how to find Jenny if she wasn’t home.

  He heard the sound of a loud machine in the driveway and simply waited in the kitchen, holding his gift. After a moment a gorgeous young woman came around the door, pointing a gun at him.

  “Get out. Get out of my house.”

  It took a breath, a moment before he saw it. Kate was no longer five years old. The long, black hair and clear, watchful eyes were the same, but time had lengthened his daughter, added bits of adulthood to her frame.

  “Kate. I’m here.” Nero looked behind her for some sign of Jenny.

  She slid the safety on the gun and pointed it at the ground. “Father?”

  He nodded and glanced at his puppy, so out of place for a young woman. Maybe a flower would have been a better choice.

  “Your mother? Is she here?” He turned and set the puppy on the counter carefully. When he looked at her again, the pain in Kate’s eyes made Nero’s soul shake.

  “Interesting question. Are you pretending to care? It’s been twelve years, Daddy.” Hate dripped from her voice. “What did you bring up with you this time? Vampires? Demons? Just bust open a door from Hell and let all that shit out so you can get laid.” She stepped toward him, full of fire and anger.

  Fear gripped him, because then he knew. The answer was easy to see in her eyes, her demeanor. Jenny, Jenny. Please not Jenny. “Twelve years? Where is Jenny?” Nero bit his lip.

  For a moment he saw a tiny hint of compassion, but as she spoke, a door slid shut in her eyes. “My mother’s dead.”

  Nero looked at the ground, swallowing his cry of anguish. Hope flowed out of him, love left him. Jenny could not be gone. She flashed before his eyes. For a moment, he saw her everywhere. And then the thought that she was nowhere turned his bitter soul to ash. He was left a husk of a being.

  Kate watched the man in front of her lose his love, and as angry as she was at him, she could not stop her sympathy. He was so dirty, his nails caked with black. He looked as if he was created from darkness—that was surely how Kate thought of him. Her mother had lived in a dream world where lovely monsters came from the ground and said and did beautiful things. But Kate had watched as a second pregnancy had robbed her already weakened mother of something tangible.

  When Jenny miscarried the baby, her health declined further. She’d been confined to her room, always with the window facing the shed open a crack as an invitation to the thing she claimed to love. It took nine years for her to die—long enough for Kate to learn to hate Nero. Long enough to hear the stories of their fairy tale love. Long enough to be warned to carry a gun, because the things that came out of the shed with her father might want to kill her.

  Aunt Bess had wanted to move since the minion battle in the living room, but she’d stayed, despite her unease, saying she needed to help raise Kate. Eventually Jenny wasn’t rational, and Bess had refused to leave her great niece to fend for herself.

  Jenny’s insistence on staying turned into resolve for Kate as well when her mother died. She’d been waiting for this day. Waiting to tell the man her mother had wasted her life on that she was gone. But the long lecture full of vehemence and violence that she’d planned died on her tongue when the huge minion buried his face in his dirty hands and quietly lost control.

  His silent anguish was heartbreaking. He clenched his fists and bent at the middle, appearing to be in physical pain. Tears came to Kate’s eyes, and she blinked them back. In her daydreams she’d yelled at him, listed off all the things she missed out on because her mother had died. She never imagined her heart softening, the edges growing touchable as her father took to his knees. She took a shaky breath. Her mother had told her all the time that her father was a good man. She couldn’t explain why he was in Hell, but she would say, “Nero loves you, Kate. He does. You’ll see. Someday you’ll see.”

  And now she did. She watched as her father composed himself and settled his black eyes on her. “Kate, are you okay? Who’s here with you?”

  “Aunt Bess. She took the bus to the store.” Kate rested the gun on the kitchen table. As her hate seeped out, it left only sadness and empty longing.

  Nero stood, his hand beginning to shake. “Tell me what’s hard here. What worries you?”

  She shook her head. “What worries me? Mom didn’t have any money. Aunt Bess is getting older, and she’s stopped taking her blood pressure medicine because it’s too expensive. You’re not here, and Mom’s gone.” Kate paused while the knife that always followed the word gone slid into her heart. “And if I lose Aunt Bess? I’ve got nobody.” She didn’t mention that Aunt Bess also seemed to be losing time, forgetting small things and sometimes really big things like turning off the oven or which pedal on the car was the gas and which was the brake.

  Nero listened solemnly. “What passes for currency now, in this time?”

  Kate was confused for a moment, then answered, “Money? Dollars?”

  Nero nodded once and left her standing next to a loaded gun. Her mouth dropped open, and she held up her hands in disbelief. She looked out the door to the open shed and shook her head. He was gone as quickly as he’d shown up.

  Kate closed the door as best she could and returned to the kitchen. She opened the dishwasher and began slamming the dishes away. She cursed under her breath. Tears were trying to find a way out. As much as she hated her father, seeing him was her mother’s dream come true. Kate could feel her smiling.

  The noise of the door opening again startled her into grabbing her gun. Nero had reappeared in the living room with a large, red duffle bag. He pulled the zipper open and put it on the floor. “Are these dollars?”

  Both of his hands were shaking now. Kate peeked into the deep bag. Her mouth went dry. She nodded.

  “Is it enough for medicine? For a new door?” He was so earnest. His eyes were red and wet.

  She found her voice. “Where did you get that? You can’t just take money.”

  He bent and zipped the bag. “It won’t be missed.”

  Chills ran down her back. Who was this man?

  “Kate, I’ll have to return in a moment. I wish…” He held out his hand to her and then dropped it.

  There was silence. So much to be said, but there was no time. He was like a time bomb, exploding with emotion, changing the lives of the women in the little cabin with his detonation. She got it, though. She wished as well. She wished her mom were still here, thrilled to see her love. “Me too.”

  “I don’t know what to do. I was expecting a little girl. I wanted to be strong and have the tea. Do you remember the tea?” His eyes searched hers.

  She nodded. She remembered the tea. She’d drawn pictures of the tea at school, at the counselor’s, at night under her covers. Always Nero would hug her, and she had on her puppy shirt. But then, in the corner, she would draw the mean minion. The one who hurt her mother.

  “I made it so Brut won’t return. Should I tell you I’ll be back, or is it better if you never have to think of me again? I’ll do anything for you, Kate. Anything.” Nero held his hand out again.

  All he seemed to really want now was a hug. After all her opinions, declarations, and practicing, her father’s hand was throwing her off. She was as weak as her own mother, wanting to love this broken, escaped demon.

  “I miss Mom,” she finally said. She’d been strong for a long time. Hate was the glue that held her together. Aunt Bess had become more of a burden than an adult, leaving Kate to make decisions, pay bills. She sighed and wiped her tears with the hand not holding the gun.

  He nodded, his hand still extended. “I’ve just started to miss her, and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m sorry you’ve been without her because of me. I never deserved either of you.”

  He believed it. She could tell. He wasn’t some evil thing just looking for sex.

  “Mom said everything happens for a reason
. So there must be a reason you deserved it.” She set her gun down again, this time on the duffle bag of money.

  “The reason’s not apparent to me. And now Jenny is…gone.” He pursed his lips and was silent a moment. Then he seemed to will himself to speak. “Your existence is the only thing about coming to Jenny that I will never regret.”

  His arms were shaking, his extended hand barely visible now. “Tell me, Kate. What do you need from me?”

  I need a real father. I need you to understand how this world works. I need someone every day here with me to miss Mom as much as I do. “You could come back. I guess. Yeah.” She shrugged and contemplated his hand.

  He nodded. “I love you, Kate.”

  He was gone. The room was empty. And then Kate began a wait she was already too familiar with. One she had mocked, dreaded, and raged about: waiting for Nero.

  Chapter 6

  Nero barely made it back to Hell in time. Brut had been twisting and twirling so effectively he’d almost escaped. He handed Sin her jack-in-the-box, which he’d swiped from a house on his way to get money for Kate.

  The waiters tumbled back to Hell behind him, their entire beings shaking as well. As they disappeared back to their cave, Nero began shoveling to get some relief. Brut began to shovel as well, hissing and shouting about his evil plans for Kate and Jenny.

  Jenny. Her name brought him such longing, and now there would be no more resolution. He was positive she was in Heaven. She was the exact opposite of Hell: light, laughter, compassion, beauty.

  He wanted to cry, scream the anguish he’d denied himself in front of Kate so he wouldn’t scare her. But then Brut would have yet another tool for his torture. It was better that the minion knew nothing of this—specifically that Kate was now all alone up there.

  Nero’s drive to return to her came from a different place, but was no less compelling than his longing for Jenny had been. He went to the waiting minions to arrange another visit to the soil as soon as he was able, and Nero couldn’t believe the chaos he found. The waiting minions had been whipped into a frenzy by the jack-in-the-box. The toy provided a shocking, gratifying, nearly immediate resolution to their normally endless waiting. Each clamored for another turn, some while banging their heads against the wall, others while fighting with one another.

  Giving them such a release was a huge mistake, Nero realized. He slipped away unnoticed. Soon after his discovery, the sounds of the waiters’ punishment rang through Hell. Nero could hear their screams clearly despite their cave’s distance from his and Brut’s shoveling. Once their cries finally settled down and Nero could get another respite, he returned to the cave. What he saw there made him turn and gag. Their punishment would never be forgotten. They were still alive, but not a single one of them wanted to be.

  It took much, much longer than Nero had hoped to get Sin, Ransom, and Velvet to talk again. They risked so very much to get him to his daughter. In the end, it wasn’t any sort of compassion that brought them around, but Ransom’s threat to turn them in if he didn’t get his turn on the soil.

  They made a plan, but Nero felt great trepidation about it. He had serious doubts that Sin and Velvet could hold Brut by themselves. Ransom promised he would hog-tie the minion to make it easier for the females, but still it was risky.

  By the time Nero began the return trip to his daughter, he knew it had been a while. But he hoped he hadn’t lost too much time. If he got to the surface and found that Kate no longer lived, Nero decided he would not come back to Hell. Instead he would see just what happened when a demon denies his compulsions.

  Each day, Kate allowed herself a moment to wonder when her father would return. She could probably be considered a recluse by now. Aunt Bess was still alive, but her mind didn’t retain things anymore, and the duffle bag of money had provided long-term care for her nearby. Kate figured her outings to the facility prevented her from being fully withdrawn from society, but they were hardly fun-filled adventures. Still, she was able to blog online and had a virtual store where she sold her knitting. Ironically, Bess had yet to lose her desire to knit socks, so Kate kept her supplied with pretty yarn. The two would knit together now, because talking got them nowhere.

  The cabin seemed to lose her mother much more slowly than the rest of the world. Kate swore she could smell her mother’s perfume every once in a while in certain rooms. And just when she felt she’d discovered everything, another memory-laden item from her mother’s past would surface. She wished the things she found would soothe the ache in her chest, but they almost always made it worse. And sometimes she hugged her Hell-made puppy. She petted it like a real dog and told it secrets, which probably qualified her as crazy.

  It had been three years since Nero’s last visit when Kate watched as a light came on in the shed.

  “Oh, crap.” She ran to get her rifle and returned to watch some more. She prayed her father would not drag a busload of evil with him.

  Two males exited. She listened through her kitchen window, and it seemed the taller one kept shouting, “Boobs, Boobs, Boobs!” over and over. The other one just shook his head. Nero was back.

  In the harsh glow of the security light, Kate watched as her father took great guzzling gulps of water. She met him at the door, opening it before he could break it down.

  “Kate.” He stepped in and smiled as he shut the door behind him. There was pain in his eyes.

  Kate knew it well. The building didn’t have Jenny anymore, and that took the home right out of the house.

  “Father.” She set her rifle against the door. It had been years, but his large presence in the room made it seem like they’d just parted.

  He held out a pitch-black daisy, etched gorgeously. There were even what appeared to be tiny drops of water on the petals.

  She nodded and took the flower. “Thanks.”

  “How have you been? How long has it been? Can we drink tea?” He shuffled farther into the room, glancing out the window toward the shed before turning his attention back to her.

  She wanted to hug him. She wanted to hear that he loved her again. She wanted him to clean up and take her for ice cream, to intimidate a suitor who came knocking on the door. She knew she’d have to settle for turning on the teakettle.

  “It’s been three years. I’m fine, and let’s go to the kitchen.” She took the silver teapot from its resting place on the stove and filled it with fresh water. She glanced at Nero, who stood watching the free-flowing water while licking his lips.

  Kate set the water on the fire and grabbed a tall glass. She added ice cubes and filtered water from the refrigerator, then popped in a slice of lemon she kept in the door. She offered it to her father.

  His mouth dropped open a bit when she held it out to him.

  “For me?” He pointed to his chest.

  She nodded, feeling shy.

  “Thank you so very much.” He almost bowed as he took the glass carefully. He seemed to fight with himself not to guzzle, not to be greedy, but soon enough the glass was empty. The ice cubes had melted at an alarming rate from the heat of his hands.

  Kate took the glass and repeated the process. “Would you like to sit?”

  Another grateful look crossed his face. “Not unless the lady in the room sits first.”

  He held her chair and she sat, setting the glass across from her for Nero. The spindly old kitchen chair creaked and complained as Nero sat and blew an exhausted breath before sipping his water.

  Questions crowded Kate’s tongue. She wanted to know so much. “Tell me why you’re in Hell. What’s it like there? Why was Mom worried that things might try and kill me?”

  He nodded. “Such quick, important questions, Kate. You’re so smart. This is how you wish to spend our time?”

  She nodded and threaded her fingers together, needing information almost more than the hug she was hoping for.

  “I’ll answer your last question first, because that’s the most important one. When I leave Hell, I must rely on oth
er minions to help me get out. There is sort of a seal between Earth and Hell, and I cannot break it alone. The timing must be right—the precise sliver of moment must be seized. There are many obstacles put in our way, set there to protect humans from the likes of minions. I defeat them to be here with you.”

  Thank you should have been what tumbled from her mouth. Instead she asked, “Should you?”

  His answer was quick. “No. Never. Not at all. I taint Earth with the presence of minions. So far our compulsions call us back, but if they didn’t? There’d be horror here, far worse than mankind has ever known. And if more minions found a way out? Chaos and death. And your shed would be the doorway to it all. I should never come here.”

  “Wow. And I thought I had some pretty spectacular nightmares already. This information’s going to kick them up a notch.” She cleared her throat and stood as the steam from the kettle pierced the air.

  Nero stood when she did. “Can I help? Where is your little basket with the small cups? Will Fuzz Bucket be joining us?”

  Kate didn’t tell her father the tea set had been smashed beyond repair in the brawl so many years ago. “We’re going to use bigger cups this time. Fuzz Bucket’s in my room on my shelf. Can you go get him?”

  She was way too old for this. What was it about this man that inspired such adoration—first from her mother, now from her? She filled the cups as she listened to the floor protest Nero’s heavy steps. When he returned, he had Fuzz Bucket and also her mother’s white nightgown.

  He set the bear down in a chair and had to readjust the stuffed animal’s body a few times before it sat up straight. Kate set the cups down and then returned to pull one out for Fuzz Bucket, mentally chiding herself for the childish routine. Yet it seemed okay, for now. Her father gently placed her mother’s nightgown on the remaining empty chair.

  “It’s too much to ask…” He trailed off before his question could be asked, and he waited behind Kate’s chair while she sat. He tucked it in so she’d be comfortable and took his place at the table. “So, do we just pour tea on the bear?”