Get Off Easy

by Sara Brookes

  The doorbell rang again. Probably the mailman.

  Grae glanced at the security monitor on the narrow table under a nearby window. Blonde hair. Slight build. Boobs. Definitely not Saint or Boyce. Or the mail delivery.

  When Grae finally opened the door, the petite woman offered her a warm smile, as though they were old friends. Grae blinked as the woman offered her hand. “Hello, Grae. I’m Kella Whelan. We have a mutual friend.”

  “All right?”

  “Tory Duke.”

  Grae’s eyes narrowed. “She’s as much of a meddler as her big brother.” Grae immediately felt ashamed of her snap judgment. “Sorry. That was wrong of me. Is she all right?”

  The woman tossed her head back and unleashed a peal of laughter. “Yes. Yes, she is as well as can be expected given her circumstances. But you’re right about her being a meddler. I believe her condition has made her more so.”

  “Isn’t that the truth?” Grae stepped back and gestured to the foyer. “Would you like to come inside?”

  “How about we take a walk instead? It’s such a nice day.”

  Grae peeked over Kella’s shoulder. She hadn’t seen the sun in...how many days had it been since she’d gotten back to L.A.? Going outside would do her some good. And at least make her feel as though she wasn’t completely abandoning life in general. “Sure. Let me get some sneakers.”

  The sun felt good on Grae’s bare arms. Though the heat did nothing to warm her. She was convinced she’d never be warm again. At least not...

  “Beautiful down in this part of the state.”

  Thankful Kella had saved her from that particular thought, Grae responded, “You’re not from around here?”

  Kella shook her head. “We’re from Portland. Which is lovely, but nothing like Southern California. Tory tells me you left in a rush?”

  “I did.” Grae wondered just how much about her exit Tory had told Kella.

  “Work? I’ll admit I was a little star-struck when she told me some of the movies you’ve worked on. I’ve always been fascinated with the behind-the-scenes aspect of anything. Movies included. Whenever the Oscars roll around, I’m always more interested in the science and technology awards portion than the major awards.” Kella touched Grae’s elbow. “Not to take away from the hard work the actors and directors put in.”

  Always nice to meet a kindred spirit. “When I was a teenager, I used to watch them as well.”

  “You don’t anymore?”

  “No time.”

  “Finicky thing, time.” Kella grinned mischievously. “If only we could all have a Tardis of our own.”

  Grae smiled, a sense of peace settling over her. She wouldn’t have expected the straitlaced woman strolling alongside her to be a Doctor Who fan. “Or a DeLorean.”

  Kella’s eyes lit. “Oh, I love that movie. 1.21 gigawatts!” She raised her arms above her head and did a remarkable impression of Doc Brown.

  “Second that car disappeared, left the fire tracks? That was when I knew what I wanted to do with my life.” One of the few things she’d known wholly without reservation. If only the rest of her life had been that uncomplicated.

  They walked quietly along for a few moments until Grae noticed they’d come to a park. She’d forgotten it was only a few blocks from her house. That’s what she got being shut inside so much. “What brings you down here? Other than just catering to the whims of an insane friend.”

  “It seemed like a good time for a vacation. Kids wanted to see Disneyland when they heard we were coming to Los Angeles.” Kella waved to some children crawling on a piece of equipment. “Would you like to meet everyone?”

  “Of course.” Grae followed Kella. As she drew closer, she saw several other parents watching over the kids playing. Their gleeful laughter tinkled through the clear air. A reminder that life had once been carefree and easy.

  Grae watched the four children play for a time, feeling a pang streak through her. Someday she’d like to have a few. Whenever she found the right partner.

  You have two perfect men who love you.

  Grae shook off the thought. “Which ones are yours?”

  “All of them.” Kella smiled and pointed to a nearby picnic table. “As are the three men over there.”

  Grae blinked. “Pardon?”

  Kella pulled Grae over to table covered with food. “Grae, I’d like to introduce you to my family.”

  Three men turned, wide smiles growing on their lips when they saw Kella. Grae watched flabbergasted as, one at a time, each man kissed Kella’s cheek. The first, Nick, was several inches taller than Grae. His dark brown hair was neatly combed back, sweeping away from his high forehead and angled jaw. His hazel eyes spoke of warmth and love as he gazed at his wife.

  Wait. Were they married? How was that possible?

  Gareth, the second man to introduce himself, looked to be the same age as Nick. His hair was a dark, sandy blond and worn closely clipped in a military style. His blue eyes reminded Grae of the expansive blue skies out in the Midwest. The third man, Barnes, appeared to be slightly younger, but no less distinguished. His sable hair was longer than the other two, his clothing a bit more relaxed.

  “I think she’s surprised.” Barnes kept his gaze on Grae as he leaned forward and kissed the corner of Kella’s mouth.

  The petite blonde turned to face Grae again, positively beaming. “Will you join us?”

  Grae found herself accepting even though she still didn’t know what to make of the situation. Well, she did—and that would be solved with a phone call when she managed to get back to her house. And she didn’t care if Tory was a heart patient. She was going to hear the business end of Grae’s temper before all was said and done.

  “Grae?”

  “Oh, yes. Of course.”

  “We’ll get the kids,” Nick offered.

  All three men left, jogging to where the kids were playing. A chiming shout went up as the children learned that it was lunchtime. Soon they were all seated around the oversized picnic table, sharing food and lively conversation.

  As they ate, Grae watched the men interact with the children, coaxing them to eat their veggies or there wouldn’t be any dessert. The men didn’t play favorites with the kids, making it impossible for Grae to tell who was the biological father of each.

  Was this how it was supposed to be should she have chosen a different path or decided to stay with Saint and Boyce and make things work? It was a lovely idea that someone could make this kind of relationship work, but Grae couldn’t see herself in the same situation. She wanted to have a life with the men just like she was watching unfold before her eyes. But her brain couldn’t let go of the tough road she’d have if she’d chosen that route.

  A hand on her shoulder jolted her out of her musings. “Everything all right?” Kella asked quietly.

  “Yes. Sorry. I just...”

  “Wondering how we make it all work?”

  Grae swallowed. “Yes.”

  Kella set a gentle hand over Grae’s and squeezed. “I won’t sugarcoat things and tell you that it’s easy. This kind of relationship takes a lot of hard work. And commitment. The four of us talked quite a bit before we committed to each other. Before we brought children into our family. We knew it wouldn’t be easy.”

  “Mind if I ask how you all met?”

  “You could, but I think it’s going to stay between us a little longer.” Gareth gave her an easy grin as he slipped his arms around Barnes’s and Nick’s waists. An indicator this wasn’t just a relationship where Kella was in love with three men. The way the men glanced at each other sometimes when they thought no one was looking was...intense. There was an obvious connection between them beyond Kella. A shared loved that didn’t know boundaries.

  Kella touched Gareth’s cheek, the love she had
for him clearly shining in her eyes. “Yes, I think it should.”

  Gareth nodded. “All right, kids. Go and play on the swing set again. The adults need to talk for a few minutes.”

  Nick folded his tall frame onto the picnic table bench again, taking a long swallow of lemonade before meeting Grae’s gaze. “Kella tells us you’re having doubts about a family like ours.”

  Gareth leaned forward on his elbows. “It’s not for everyone, that’s for certain. And it’s a lot of work.”

  “A lot,” Barnes echoed.

  “What my husbands are so gently trying to tell you is that it’s a messy, complicated life to choose. It’s not for the faint of heart. But the rewards it reaps are worth it.”

  Grae wanted to understand. Really. She did. Maybe then she could have an inkling of what she had walked away from. What she knew she could never again have. Talking about it was the last thing she wanted. But she didn’t want to offend Kella and her men. They’d obviously come a long way to talk to her. “Aren’t you...afraid?”

  “We’re afraid of a lot of things. I’m afraid Barnes is going to eat too much of those doughnuts he thinks I don’t see him eating.” Nick stuck his tongue out playfully at Barnes when the man made a face. “I’m afraid the school bus will crash on the way to school.”

  “Or those perfectly good planes I jump out of are going to crash one day,” Barnes added. “But we get up every morning and do it over and over. So I think you’re going to have to be more specific about what kind of fears we have.”

  Grae played with her napkin, noticing that she’d shredded half of it at some point. “What your neighbors might say if they knew. What kind of criticism your children will face in the future.”

  Nick’s face grew stony. “First off, how the four of us choose to live our lives is no one’s business but our own. If we choose to wear purple headdresses and prance around naked in our backyard for some kind of half-cocked fertility ritual, that’s our right. The whole world has no business being in our relationship any more than we have telling everyone that this arrangement is the way to live.”

  Barnes slung his arm around Nick’s shoulder and shook him a little. “Nick is a bit passionate about the subject.”

  Gareth spoke up next. “It’s not a reflection on you, Grae. All those doubts you’re having? We’ve been through them all too. But we did it together. Found strength and support from each other when it seemed like everyone in the world was against us.”

  “My parents disowned me when they found out.” The group grew quiet as Barnes’s admission hung in the air. “They told me I was no longer their son because of my choices. They didn’t even wish me—or my family—well as they slammed the door in my face. They’ve never seen their grandchildren and probably never will.”

  “That’s horrible.”

  “That’s reality.”

  Grae understood how Barnes felt because of her severed ties with her parents. She’d always been distant from them, with her father’s military travels and her mother’s constant disappointment in Grae’s life choices. Saint and Boyce didn’t have to worry about parents either, since the death of Saint’s younger sister long ago. Saint’s parents had gone into a downward spiral, divorcing a short time later. His mother had relocated to the other side of the country, while his father had moved to another part of the world. Though Boyce said he’d never been particularly close to his parents, he’d been forced to deal with their denial and abandonment after he’d come out to them. The absence of family in their lives was a common thread that had banded around them that first day at college.

  “I had to make a choice. People who accepted me for everything I was. Everything I believed in. Or make people who didn’t really know me happy. Wasn’t a hard choice, really. There was never a question, or a doubt in my mind, that I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life with them. Am I sad that my parents couldn’t accept me? Won’t get to meet their grandchildren? Sure. I think about them a lot. But they made their choice. Just as I made mine.”

  Kella leaned over and pressed her lips against Barnes’ before she faced Grae again. “You can’t live your life trying to make others happy. Especially people you don’t know. Why would you give them that kind of power over you?”

  Nick nodded. “You don’t live their lives for them.”

  Gareth offered Grae another drink. “For the record, most of our neighbors know about the four of us. We agreed a long time ago if we did this, we weren’t going to hide.”

  The lemonade was cool on Grae’s dry throat. Whenever they politely answered one of her questions, she discovered she had ten more. “And do you have any issues?”

  “Sure,” Kella said after whisking away the last of the crumbs the kids had left. “Most people are perfectly fine with it. There are some who would rather see us burned in hell, but they just stay away. Some have made their opinions known, but if we scolded everyone with an opinion, then we’re not different from those who are judging us.”

  Grae’s gaze drifted away from the four and back to the playground area. “What about the kids?”

  “They don’t know any differently. To them, this is how a family is supposed to work.”

  “They have three dads.” Gareth snorted softly. “Which they all think makes them more awesome because their friends only have one. Sure, there are parents who don’t want our children playing with theirs, but when you think about it, would you really want your kids associated with people who are so close-minded?”

  Which reminded Grae how close-minded she was being. She was writing off a relationship with Saint and Boyce because of possibilities. Because of what ifs. Because she’d let her mother’s voice dominate her life. Instead, she kept writing it up as a failure without even bothering to see where their lives took them. Using what she saw as her failures in the past to rule out the possibility of experiencing that happy life she’d wanted.

  Jesus, how had she let herself become so selfish? She’d convinced herself she was okay walking away. With not telling them what she truly wanted. All the bits and pieces that were at the core of her soul.

  “How long has it been?” Kella smiled as she touched Grae’s arm. “Since you’ve been away from them.”

  Grae blew out a defeated breath. “They always said my face is like an open book. Saint and Boyce,” she added at Kella’s curious glance. “The men who are the reason I have a lot of the questions I asked you guys. I left them two weeks ago.”

  Kella reached out to smooth her hand over Grae’s windblown hair as she gave her an appraising glance. “Were things not working? Every relationship is fraught with risk. The kind we’ve elected to have just has a few less common ones not generally accepted by most people. That alone binds us.”

  “Things were great,” Grae stated with a half-hearted shrug.

  Kella slid closer, clasping her hands around Grae’s. “If you take nothing else away from today, you have to understand it’s all worth it. You have to roll the dice, Grae. You have to take the chance to allow the three of you to be what it is you want. I don’t know what happened in your past to make you so hesitant, but you have to stop running from them. Let them love you. Allow yourself to love them.”

  The quiet core of a bond flourished between the two women. A connection full of emotion and genuine promises to listen objectively and free of judgment. Grae’s heart swelled, pain and elation overwhelming her. This was the conversation Grae wished she could have had with her mother after the incident with Noah. After her breakup with Mason. A loving reassurance that everything would be all right instead of painful accusations that had haunted her for her entire adult life.

  “I don’t know if I can fix things,” Grae said tentatively. “They’ve been trying to contact me since I left, but I shut off my phone and ignored all my emails.”

  Kella tightened her grip. “They’ve wai
ted for you this long. I don’t know them, but the way you’re talking about them...they love you. Go. Go to them. Let them love you. Love them in return and fight for what it is that you have.”

  Grae’s eyes abruptly filled with tears as Kella rose and went to help her husbands. Watching the foursome clean up the last of the picnic and gather all the children back into their van for the drive north, Grae realized she needed more than love or support.

  She needed a home.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Grae had been to this place before. Stood in this very spot. Worried about the very same doubts. Had new ones. But now she had shame to add into the mix. The knowledge she’d done something so terrible. She had returned, pride tucked between her knees.

  Now she’d have to ask for forgiveness.

  They wouldn’t owe her the honor of listening as she asked forgiveness. Though she was ready to beg if necessary. To grovel. Whatever she had to do to have them at least grant her an audience.

  After the way she’d walked out, severed contact completely, they had every right to turn their backs. But she had to try. Kella had convinced Grae the relationship was worth fighting for. She was done taking the easy way. The path of least resistance. She’d lived her entire life steering clear of conflict because of Mason, Noah, and her mother. But she’d finally realized she was worth the work.

  That they were worthy of the effort.

  She knocked, the echoing hollowness beyond mirroring the emptiness in the pit of her stomach. The sound of footsteps quickened her heart. The noise stopped at the door, and she put on her bravest smile. The one that she hoped projected how truly sorry she was.

  The long minutes stretched out, her courage faltering by the second. As though whomever was on the other side wanted to wait her out. To see if she’d lose her bravery and streak down the easy path once again.

  No more.

  Never again.

  She’d wait as long as necessary. Even forever.

  When the lock clicked and the door handle turned, she felt the sick feeling in her stomach expand. As Saint opened the door, his bottle-green eyes met hers, his mouth set in a firm line. When he continued to stare, she felt her skin flush with a mixture of embarrassment, guilt, and heat. Swallowing the dryness in her mouth, she released a slow breath as she did the only thing she could think of and slowly sank to her knees.