by Seth Eden
I was numb from the inside out. I felt like I could get stabbed or shot. When it came right down to it, it was actually pretty good for business. Things I cared about no longer made a difference to me, I was finally hardened enough to exist in the organization without hesitation. All those conversations I’d had with Luca about getting out and having a domestic, happy life were far in the distance now. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that those weren’t luxuries we were afforded as Varasso men. We’d taken the strength buff upon spawning and gave up the happiness trait in exchange. I supposed it was only fair. We couldn’t be as strong and powerful as we were and live happy, stress-free lives. That would be stacking the deck.
“Are you sure you’re up to dealing with the kids, still?” Luca asked.
“Why don’t I just go straight to Horatio?” I asked. “I don’t feel like babysitting.”
“Because if Horatio is working for the Binachis, he’d probably let you take his life to keep from turning on them, but if we have his kids, he has a reason to talk,” Luca explained.
“Yeah, I’ll get him to talk,” I replied flatly. “I know everything about his family. If I shove a gun down his throat and promise him that his lovely wife and cute kids won’t live if I don’t get the information I’m looking for, I’m guaranteeing you, he’ll talk.”
“You don’t sound like yourself,” Molly commented.
I shrugged. “So what? Isn’t this better?” I looked at Luca. “You said so yourself, we either do this all the way or not at all.”
“This isn’t what I meant,” Luca huffed.
“Isn’t it?” I said, standing up. “This is exactly what the business needs. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking anyway. I’m not some weak-minded, lovey-dovey guy. I’ll go talk to Horatio, get what I need, put some steel in him for being a snitch, and then I’ll find whichever Binachi is threatening Marco and take him out, too.”
“Things aren’t that easy, and you know it,” Luca responded, then he shot a glare at Gabriel. “Will you talk some sense into him?”
Gabriel looked up at me. “He’s right, Sandro. If you get reckless, you could end up getting killed.”
“Whatever,” I said. “I’ll take them down with me.”
“Sandro,” Molly hummed.
“It’s not worth it. We’re trying to protect our brother, not lose one,” Gabriel said.
I looked down at him, saw that innocent expression in his eyes, and it pissed me off. “You’re barely our brother. So what does it matter to you?”
Gabriel recoiled and then dropped his head. “Sorry.”
Luca stood up from his desk, slamming his hands on it in the process. “That’s enough. You don’t believe that shit, and it isn’t true. Any blood is blood.”
I couldn’t believe him. To have the audacity to stand in my face and defend Gabriel like he hadn’t been horrible to him ever since my dad first brought Gabriel home. He sided with my mom and felt like Gabriel was a stain on our family. He abused him every day, leaving me to protect him. If it weren’t for me, Luca probably would have put a bullet in Gabriel the day my dad died. He didn’t give a shit about the stuff my dad stood for, only his own ego.
“Oh, now you’re going to defend him?” I said with a dark chortle. “Where has that been the entire time you’ve been running him around like a pack mule and degrading him to his face? Now you want to jump to his aid? Why? So you look strong in front of your wife? I’m the strongest of all four of us, and she knows it. If only I’d walked into her bedroom first.”
“Alessandro,” Gabriel huffed.
Luca walked around his desk, anger permeating off of him.
Molly stood up. “Luca, he’s just upset right now.”
He stepped up to me until we were nose to nose. “Say something about my wife again and see if I don’t cave your fucking skull in.”
“I stopped being afraid of you years ago, brother,” I growled. “If you had the balls to cave my skull in, you would have done it already. Now, if it’s quite all right with you, I’m going to go and do what a real leader would have done weeks ago. I’m going to go handle our business.”
I turned around and started walking out. I felt a hand on my shoulder, but I flipped around and pushed it away, sending Gabriel tumbling backward and tripping over the chair behind him. Molly jumped out and caught him just before his head made contact with the corner of Luca’s desk. Luca charged forward and tossed a punch at me, but I ducked it and swung in response, cracking the bones of his cheek beneath my knuckle. My hand stung, but Luca collapsed to the ground with his blood spattering across the carpet. With him out of the way, I continued out of the room, just barely hearing Luca say, “Let him go, if he gets a bullet in the back, that’s his fucking problem,” as I walked.
I made arrangements to have our dad’s private jet shuttle me to California. I already had all of the information I needed to take care of things myself. Luca still had a wife and children holding him back, but I had nothing. I looked at my dad’s rings on my fingers, thinking that he gave them to the right son. He’d known who would eventually need to sit at his desk. Luca was weak. He clung to joys that weren’t his to have, and that would ruin us. I felt the spirit of my dad situating itself among my bones. He was right to rule with an iron fist. It was the only thing that could get the job done. Emotions were for the broken, and as the jet touched down in California, it hit me. I was no Varasso prince. I was meant to be the true king of the family. My father knew it, and now I knew it, too.
I would take care of things with Marco first, and then when I got back to Philly. I would take my rightful seat on the throne. This organization and family belonged to me and me alone. I guess I had Willow to thank for that. If she hadn’t left, I would never have realized that. The last thing, the only good thing she did before she left me behind. Even with the death of our relationship, she’d made me stronger.
I headed to southern California, first to meet up with a few of our connections, and then I’d fully arm myself. There was every possibility that L.A. was crawling with Binachis, and I needed to be prepared if one of them tried to get the jump on me.
I scanned the vast array of weaponry our south dealer had. Assault rifles, pistols, gauges. If it shot bullets, he had it in his arsenal.
“I gotta say, you weren’t the Varasso I expected to be the first to come to see me,” the weapons dealer, Faci, grumbled, the huge stitched scar on his face shimmering in the light of his shack shop.
I picked up one of the shotguns and cocked it, feeling the way it balanced in my hands. “Yeah, well, unexpected is kind of my theme.” I uncocked the shotgun, armed the safety, and then picked out a couple of pistols. “What’s the damage?”
Faci waved his wrinkled and liver-spotted hand. “Nah. You just tell the boss I helped you out.”
I took some money out of my pocket and slammed it onto the counter so hard Faci jumped. “I am the boss.”
I traveled back to L.A. and to the address my informant told me belonged to Horatio. I could see glowing lights shining warmly from inside. I walked up to the window, looking into his house, and saw him sitting at a table with his wife and kids, laughing over a meal. I hated him for freely enjoying what I wanted so badly. He wasn’t born into death and darkness. He probably just got married at a church, with his friends and family surrounding him, and no one questioning his motives, or his love, or his loyalty. I didn’t want to look at his happiness anymore. If I couldn’t have it, no one could have it.
Despite his home’s small size and the peeling paint on the frame, he had, what appeared to be, a brand new Mercedes Benz in his driveway. I walked over to it, pulled my rifle off of my shoulder, and smashed the butt into the driver’s side window. A loud alarm started to blare throughout the neighborhood, and I could see lights clicking on in all the houses, with all the neighbors peeking out to investigate. I drew back into the shadows of the night laid against Horatio’s garage door.
His front door op
ened. “Stay inside.”
He walked down the front stairs and over to the window of his car, hissing “Shit!” as he investigated the shards of glass scattered around the pavement.
I scanned the row of houses, with people already starting to recede back into their homes. When I was confident no one was looking, I cocked my rifle. I saw Horatio’s entire body rigidify. His head slowly turned toward his garage, and I stepped enough into the light to reveal my weapon.
“Hey, Horatio,” I huffed.
“B-boss,” he responded. “L-look. My family’s inside.”
“I know,” I growled back. “It sure would be a shame if anything happened to them.” I swiped my hand over the hood of the car. “This sure is a nice car. Where’d you get it?”
Tears and guilt were gathering in the corners of Horatio’s eyes. “I’m s-sorry, Boss.”
“Why don’t we step inside Horatio?” I asked with an evil grin. “Let’s have a little talk.”
Horatio led the way inside, and I followed closely behind him, keeping the barrel of my gun focused on his back. As we walked inside, his wife’s face filled with horror.
“G-go upstairs, you three,” she murmured nervously.
“No,” I said, brandishing my shotgun fully once we were safely hidden inside Horatio’s home. “I think they should stay.”
The kids sitting at the table started to cry, and Horatio moved to stand between them and me. “Please, Sandro,” Horatio whimpered. “My kids ain’t done nothing wrong, man.”
“Yeah, well, I’m proof that sometimes you pay for what your dumb dad did, but you know about that well, don’t you, Horatio?” I asked.
Horatio’s wife looked at him, terrified. “You said you got that money from a raise at work.”
“Shut up,” Horatio whined.
“No, tell me more. Maggie, right?” Maggie gave me a weak, shaky nod. “When did he come home with more money?”
Horatio shook his head, so I pointed my shotgun right at his face with my finger on the trigger. “Go on, Maggie,” I coaxed.
“Right before the holidays,” Maggie responded with tears traveling down her cheeks.
“Yeah, around Thanksgiving?” I asked.
She nodded, closing her eyes with realization. She side-eyed Horatio. “Yes. What did you do?”
“I’ll tell you what he did, Maggie.” I looked over at him. “My brother is in witness protection, taking care of his wife and child, and your husband discovered his address and gave it to some people who want my brother dead. Tell me, Horatio, do you think that the Binachis are going to spare my brother’s kid like you want me to spare yours?”
“I’m sorry, Boss. I’m so sorry. My kids needed food, and I wasn’t doing good in the tunnels. They told me they would set me up for life.” He started to sob in earnest. “Just punish me. Don’t punish my kids.”
“Do you know where the Binachis are?” I asked. “Are they here in the city?”
Horatio looked up at me, his head flailing wildly. “Y-yeah! I know where they are! I been to their house before.”
“Then, let’s make a deal, Horatio. You like deals, right?” I asked.
“Okay,” he huffed.
“You take me to where I can find the Banachis, and I won’t hurt your family.”
“Okay, Boss. I’ll take you right now.”
“But Horatio, you know what’s going to happen if you don’t give me what I need, don’t you?” I shifted my gun to point at Maggie’s face, and children started screaming. Maggie closed her eyes, her bottom lip shivering. “I’ll let you live so you can think about how your actions cost your family everything.”
Horatio nodded. “Please, Boss. I’ll take you.”
“You understand that I don’t want to be played with. I’m really not in the mood for it, Horatio,” I said.
Horatio nodded. “I got it, Boss. I won’t play games. I’ll take you there right now.”
I gave him a fake grin. “Well, I’m glad we could see eye to eye, Horatio. Now let’s go.”
23
Willow
It felt like everything I was doing was taking so much longer than it should have. I didn’t know if it was because I was that reluctant to do what I was planning to do that day, or if I was struggling to readjust to a daily routine that didn’t include Alessandro. Getting out of bed took active concentration. I had to count to ten to inspire myself to do simple things like kick my feet out over the edge of the bed or toss my blankets to the side. I put my feet into my slippers, but I stood there for five minutes pulling my feet in and out because I thought that I was wearing them wrong, and when I pulled on my morning robe to shield my barely dressed body from my brother, I put it on inside out first. After feeling properly dressed and ready to walk out into the hallway, I first plopped back down onto my bed and sat there staring at nothing for ten minutes. I kept rubbing my stomach, still not quite able to grasp the fact that there was a little life in there. I could already feel myself developing a connection to the baby and tried to cut myself off. Aborting was the right thing to do. A child didn’t belong in a world ruled by the Varassos.
I eventually convinced myself to get up and make my way out into the main part of my apartment. The door to my guest room was still closed, and even if it wasn’t enough indicator that Ricky was still asleep, the fact that stucco was falling from the ceiling at the sound of his snoring would do it. I’d gotten used to the way he could tear a room apart with his snoring sometime when we were kids. He had sinus problems already, but then when we were teenagers, he’d taken a kickball straight to the face, jamming the bridge of his nose and breaking a bone in his eye socket. It only went downhill from there, as his ability to snore from his nose damn near stopped, and eventually, my mom had to have his room made soundproof. Even in her giant manor, it didn’t matter what room you were in. If Ricky was asleep, you could hear it. I was already drumming up ideas for apology gifts for my neighbors once he was gone. If they didn’t complain to my landlord every single day he was here, they deserved a Nobel prize.
I pulled out my can of untouched-for-a-month coffee and carried it over to my coffee pot. The last cup of coffee I’d brewed for myself was done in the morning on the day I left for Philly. It seemed like no one there ever wanted me to get coffee for myself. Ricky would bring it to me every morning when we were both at my mom’s house, and Alessandro would bring it to me when I was staying at his place. Even Molly and the kids brought me a cup or two, as payment for playtime, of course. I grinned, thinking about the days I spent at the Varasso estate. As bad as things had gone with Luca, I didn’t regret staying there. It was nice to get to know Alessandro’s family, the people he was so deathly loyal to. I could only hope that I could find something else like that someday. Something less intense with far less risk involved, but the loyalty wouldn’t be so bad. If only Alessandro had that for me and not a family that wanted him to do unacceptable things, we could have made it. I never got the chance to tell him, but I thought we were soulmates, too. Guess that ship had sailed now.
I pulled out all of Ricky’s favorite breakfast foods and lined them up on my speckled marble counter. Back in Philly, he could get whatever breakfast he wanted at the drop of a hat. He didn’t have to pay for it, and he didn’t have to go get it. It was magic for as involved as he was in it. He snapped his fingers and, boom, there it was.
He had been a bacon eater since birth. He liked it crispy and a little burnt with eggs or some other such substance to dip it in. He could put away multiple cups of coffee in a single sitting, but I knew him well enough to know that he actually really preferred orange juice in the morning. He liked cold beverages better in general, but he was a juice guy. Always had been. I poured a glass of orange juice and started cooking his bacon and eggs in a pan, and pretty soon, the guest bedroom door opened with my twin trudging out.
He rubbed his eyes with a huge yawn. “Smells good.” He took a seat at my kitchen island with all of his hair still a rat’s nest
of curls atop his head.
“Bacon and eggs,” I replied, lifting the glass of orange juice and handing it over. “Should be done in about five minutes.”
He grabbed the orange juice and took out half the glass in one gulp. “Yum. I haven’t had orange juice in a long time.”
“Late nights making you rely on the coffee, huh?” I asked.
“No,” he replied, obviously lying. “So, how’d you sleep?”
“Weird,” I said. “I’m a stomach sleeper, but I felt odd sleeping that way given the circumstances, so I was trying to lay on my side or my back. Every time I started to roll around to my stomach, I would snap awake and turn back to my back.”
“I’m sorry,” he replied. “I slept like a rock.”
“I know,” I responded through gritted teeth. “You’re paying for my deposit when I get kicked out.”
Ricky chuckled. “Maybe that’s why I’m still single.”
“Oh, do you think that could be it?” I giggled.
Ricky’s expression turned somber. “How are you feeling about today?”
I dumped Ricky’s food onto a plate and slid it over to him. “Scared. Sad.”
“Sad?” Ricky repeated. “You’re sad?”
“Of course I’m sad,” I replied. “I want a baby.”
“Then, I don’t get it. Why are you doing this?” he asked.
“Because it would be irresponsible not to. I won’t give birth to another Varasso. I can’t. What would life be for me and my baby?” I rubbed my stomach. “I could barely date a Varasso. I certainly cannot raise one.”
“What if you said it wasn’t Sandro’s?” Ricky asked.
“If he ever asked for a DNA test, I would look like a bad parent, and he could use it as leverage to take the baby from me,” I replied.
Ricky shook his head. “Alessandro would never do that to you. He loves you way too much. He would never hurt you like that.”
