The Ashen Queen

by Sidney Gray

  “Careful,” Reed said quietly from behind her, she almost jumped in fright.

  “Are you following me?” she asked without turning around.

  “Yes, I wanted to make sure you weren't getting into trouble,” he smiled when she turned to glare at him. “I didn't want to interrupt you, you looked like you were concentrating, how did you find it?” he asked curiously.

  “I felt it, like a tug of energy,” she replied, and he looked at her surprised.

  “You connected with it?” he questioned.

  “I guess, what is it?”

  “It's a wolf.”

  She had never seen a wolf before.

  “But it's so small.”

  “It must be a runt, probably left behind by its mother.”

  “That's awful,” she said, grimacing down at the poor animal.

  Reed frowned. “Don’t even think about it,” he warned.

  “But it will die if we don't do anything and you have other animals in your village already?”

  “You can't just bring an animal into the village without the Elders approval.”

  “Then we’ll take it to the Elders for approval.”

  He sighed resigned.

  “Fine,” he said and moved to pick up the wolf.

  “Wait I want to do it, I found it,” she protested, Reed shrugged, took off his jacket and handed it to her.

  “Here wrap it in this and move slowly, it may be small, but those teeth will still be sharp.”

  To both of their surprise, it barely stirred as she picked it up.

  Reed frowned again, “it must be worse than I thought, we should hurry.”

  Reed led her back to the village, they moved quickly, Reed only stopping to help her over a log or uneven ground.

  They reached the healer's cottage and found Azalia outside picking herbs, she ushered them inside straight away. It was dark and dingy inside the cottage and packed with shelves full of plants and bowls, Ella was right there was barely any space to move. The healer, Wren, looked the wolf over while Azalia held him carefully, inspecting his mouth and claws before he gave a grunt and, muttering to himself, began pulling out different bowls and jars. He sent Reed outside for firewood and started throwing items into a pot over the fire and soon they had a stew brewing. Once it was done, she gently held his head up while Wren carefully spoon-fed the little wolf.

  “So can it stay?” Sofia asked the healer.

  “Well, I don't think it will be going anywhere soon,” Wren commented, “we can discuss it at the next meeting.”

  “And It is a boy,” he added with a small smile.

  After a couple of hours, they were able to take the wolf home, and she stayed in the house most of the next day with the little wolf under the supervision of Azalia, encouraging him to eat more of the stew. He seemed to be gaining strength but never made any move to bite her.

  The following day she got up, as usual, to help with the animals and was surprised when the wolf jumped up to follow her out the door. She tried to encourage him to stay, but every time she went to the door he followed.

  “Well it looks like you might have to take him with you,” said Ella's mother, chuckling.

  She laughed as well and let him follow her out the door. Unfortunately, when they got closer to the animals, the animals all started making a huge racket. She looked accusingly down at the little wolf who was looking up at her with big innocent eyes.

  “Well, what are we going to do now?” she muttered.

  She heard a chuckle behind her and turned to find Larch watching her. “I heard you had gone and got yourself a little wolf, didn't quite believe it myself.”

  “Sorry, he followed me here. I tried to leave him behind.”

  He waved her off, studying the wolf carefully.

  “We can handle the animals without you, seems the little wolf thinks you're his mother.”

  ‘Really? she replied aghast, “how do I get him to stop?”

  “You can’t.”

  “But I can't be his mother!” she had wanted to help him but being his mother seemed like a big responsibility, and she didn’t know if she could handle any more responsibility at this point, she already had the fate of Latheria on her shoulders.

  “Don't think you have much of a choice. Why don't you go to the kitchens and find something for him to eat.” He motioned to the little wolf, “and perhaps you should spend the rest of the day getting to know him, you might learn something important.”

  She left, wondering what he meant by that. What could she learn from a wolf?

  She arrived at the kitchens, and everyone came over to see the wolf, gushing over him, he seemed nervous by all the people crowding around him, but luckily they didn't try to get too close. They could probably sense his nervousness, she thought, the Ashen were all very intuitive, especially when it came to animals.

  “He’s so cute!” Holly exclaimed, “do you have a name for him?”

  “No, I hadn’t thought about that,” she said, she had no idea what to even name a wolf.

  She spent the rest of the day wandering the woods with the little wolf. She stopped often to let him rest, but he seemed to have bounced back smoothly enough, although he was very cautious and didn't stray too far from Sofia's side.

  They ran into Elder Sage along the way, and she was curious to hear the story of how she had found him.

  “It sounds like he connected with you,” Elder Sage mused after Sofia had finished her story.

  “I didn’t know that was even possible,”

  “It is unusual, but perhaps he felt your magic and was calling to you for help.”

  It did make sense, she thought. Either way, at least she was making progress.

  The little wolf stretched out at Sofia's feet that night, worn out, as they sat around the fire at Ella’s house talking, and Ella, to her surprise, brought up the subject of Sofia’s birthday. Sofia hadn't realized that Ella even knew when it was.

  “It’s important Sofia, we should celebrate it!” Ella insisted.

  “I really don't feel like celebrating Ella, I’m sorry.”

  She had never really enjoyed her birthday all that much, her mother always planned an elaborate party and invited everyone, Sofia had to spend the day talking to people she barely knew and this birthday especially wasn't something she had been looking forward too.

  Ella opened her mouth to protest, but her mother cut her off.

  “Of course Sofia, it's your birthday; you should do what you want to do.” She said firmly, giving Ella a hard look, to her surprise, Ella didn't argue further.

  Sofia lay awake that night thinking about home, wondering again if she was doing the right thing, talking about her birthday just made her think of home and her family. Her birthday had always felt like just another stepping stone on her way to being Queen, and she worried about what was happening at home in her absence. She had been gone almost two months now, she was making progress, but it was slow, and she still didn't understand what the point of it was. How was learning all this going to help her? Elder Yarrow had told her to trust the mountain when she had brought up her doubts to him, but she found it hard to trust something she didn't understand.

  She tossed and turned for hours before, to her surprise, the little wolf jumped onto her bed and snuggled into her side, and she finally fell asleep.

  CHAPTER 30

  Over the next couple of days, she tried to get back into her routine. The animals started to get used to having the little wolf around, and he learned to keep his distance. Although he never went out of eyesight, the little wolf grew more and more confident as the days went by, happy to explore on his own. He still wouldn't let anyone but Sofia pet him without growling, but he was growing more used to them being around.

  He also loved chickens, they were always wandering around the village and at first, he had been scared of them, keeping his distance, but as he grew more confident, he started to chase them, and it soon became his favorite game.

/>   She made sure to keep a close eye on him but he didn't seem interested in hurting them, he just liked chasing them and other animals as well, it wasn’t long before he was chasing cats, rabbits, and even insects.

  Ivy and Holly both found it incredibly entertaining, especially when he was chasing some rabbits one day and ran straight into a tree. It didn't stop him though, he just shook his head a couple of times and went straight back to chasing them.

  “You should call him Chase,” Holly joked, “since he seems to love it so much.”

  Sofia laughed as well but then thought about it seriously for a second. She had been racking her brain trying to come up with a name for him for days. She couldn't keep calling him little wolf, and Chase definitely fit.

  “Actually that's not a bad idea,” she said, grinning at the twins.

  She turned to the little wolf who was now lying down panting, watching the chickens with a mischievous glint in his eye.

  “Chase?” she called, and to her delight, he looked right at her.

  “Well, I guess that settles it,” Holly said with a laugh, and she couldn’t help but join in.

  She started meditation again the next day but still wasn't able to connect with an animal the way she had with Chase. Elder Sage was very positive though and just insisted she needed to keep trying. It was exhausting though.

  Her birthday crept closer, and Ella started suggesting ideas, always out of earshot of her mother though. Finally, after all of her party ideas were shot down, she gave up. It was Reed, of all people, who came up with the perfect idea. Although he wouldn't tell her what it was exactly, only that it wasn't a party, he promised her she would like it, and his mother agreed, so she gave in, she knew Ella wouldn't be happy until she agreed to do something.

  “Why is this so important to you, Ella?” She asked as they walked through the woods on the way to Reed's surprise, it was just the three of them, and Reed was carrying a large bag on his back, although he wouldn't tell her what was in it, the smells wafting from it gave her a pretty good idea.

  “Birthdays are important, especially the eighteenth year. We always have a celebration to honor the occasion, and I know you miss home, so I just wanted to do something to make you feel better.”

  “That's really sweet of you Ella, thank you,” she said sincerely.

  She had been too busy to think of home the last couple of days, but she did then, wondering and worrying about what her sisters were doing. If they were ok. It felt strange to be so cut off from them and everyone else she had ever known.

  She heard it before she saw it and knew exactly what it was, she raced towards the sound pulling Ella along behind her, suddenly incredibly excited. They stepped into a clearing and straight ahead of them was the waterfall cascading down from the cliffs above. There was a small group of people already waiting for them, Ivy and Holly were there along with a couple of others around their age. They had set up blankets and were starting to spread out food, it was perfect, she thought.

  “I know how much you loved swimming in the lake with your sisters when you were younger so I thought you would like this. But first, as the birthday girl, I think you should be the one to jump first.” He grinned, pointing to the top of the waterfall.

  Sofia laughed then stopped at their serious expressions. “You can't be serious.”

  “It’s perfectly safe, we have all done it before.” Ella added, “it’s almost a rite of passage.”

  She followed the others to the top still unsure if they were joking or not. She stared apprehensively over the edge of the cliff to the water gushing below.

  “Are you ready?” Ella asked.

  “What if I hit a rock or something?” she protested.

  “Come on princess I thought you liked adventure?” Reed teased.

  She frowned, it felt strange hearing Reed call her that. She was so far away from being a princess and to prove it she took a deep breath before she threw herself over the edge. The water was shockingly cold when she hit, but she was buzzing from the adrenaline and didn't care. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once, and she wanted to do it again.

  It was by far the best birthday she had ever had. It was everything she thought a birthday should be, even Chase joined in on the fun, jumping into the water with them. She suspected he was trying to catch the little fish that darted around just out of reach. He also spent a lot of time chasing Shade, who had suddenly shown up after being absent for the last week, she could tell Ella had been worried, but Shade seemed fine. She couldn't tell if Shade actually enjoyed playing with Chase or if she just tolerated him, she suspected the latter.

  They ate lots of amazing food and played games, some she knew but others she didn’t. Holly and Ivy begged her to show them her invisibility, they were incredibly curious and gasped when she disappeared before their eyes. She circled around them and appeared from behind to scare them, and they screamed in fright. Ella laughingly suggested a new game, and they spent the rest of the afternoon playing a game of hide and seek where the Ashen tried to find her using their magic. Reed was unsurprisingly very good at it.

  She slowed down to walk with Reed on the way back to the village to thank him for the surprise, nobody had ever done anything so thoughtful for her before, it had been the perfect birthday, and somehow Reed had known exactly what she needed. She realized that during all their time together Sofia had told Reed more about herself than anyone else, even Ella, he was just so easy to talk to, he never judged her or thought she was being silly. He just listened, and she liked that.

  “I’m glad you liked it, you’ve been so serious lately, it's nice to see you having fun.”

  “It was a nice break, I really needed it.”

  He frowned. “You should take a break more often.”

  “Yes, I should, too bad there aren't any waterfalls in Selinus.”

  She woke up late the next day, and she rushed to her meditation with Elder Sage, full of apologies but Elder Sage waved away her apologies, she looked excited about something.

  “What’s going on?” Sofia questioned.

  “I've had an idea,” she exclaimed, “I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner, we have been trying to get you to connect with animals around you when we should be trying to get you to reconnect with Chase.”

  “I don't understand, how will that help?”

  “You have already connected with Chase so you should have some sense of what that feels like which should help you to reconnect with him, once you get used to what that connection feels like it should be easier for you to find that connection with other animals.”

  She looked down at Chase, and he stared right back up at her, she couldn't imagine what he was thinking but she was curious to know, and it couldn't hurt to try at least.

  They sat on the ground, cross-legged with eye closed, as they normally would but this time she focused solely on Chase, trying to sense him the way she did the animals around her, to her surprise she found it surprisingly easy almost as if he was already open to her.

  She felt that little pull straight away, stronger than it had been the first time she had felt it and a buzz of energy, like she felt with the birds.

  “I feel something, like a pull.”

  “Do you feel anything else?” she said asked

  “It’s like I can feel his heart beating and… his breathing, but that’s it, I can’t sense what he is feeling, like Larch can.”

  She chuckled, “well I didn’t really expect you too. Animals feel and sense differently, so it is hard for humans to connect and even understand what an animal is feeling, but hopefully, with practice, it will get easier.” she continued, “I want you to practice this as often as possible. Try and see if you can do it without really concentrating fully, just open yourself up to him while you're doing something else, I also think we should take a break from our meditation today.”

  “We can't take a break, I need to learn this.”

  “And I believe that's part of the
problem, you're trying to learn too much too soon, most Ashen spend their entire childhood learning this. You’re trying to squeeze it all into a couple of months, it's not possible. You just need to concentrate on one thing at a time, the mountain never said you needed to master everything.”

  She left feeling dejected, it felt like she was failing. The longer she was away from home, the guiltier she felt but how could she go back without learning everything? She felt unprepared, and she didn’t know how she was going to learn everything.

  She sank to the ground and brushed angrily at a tear that rolled down her cheek, frustrated. Nobody really knew how she was supposed to stop the darkness; just that she was the person who would. How was that fair? Putting all that pressure on her but giving her no answers.

  She was still there hours later when Reed returned from working in the fields.

  “What if I fail? Latheria will be destroyed, and it will be all my fault!” she burst out suddenly before he could even ask what was wrong.

  “At least there will be no one left to blame you,” he replied then winced at her distraught expression, “sorry that was a terrible joke. I was trying to make you feel better.” he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “Look Sofia, no one knows how to stop the darkness, but also no one knows what it will do when it reaches the mountain, maybe the magic in the mountain will be enough to stop it, maybe you are just a precaution. My point is you can only do your best and hope it's enough. Nobody expects you to somehow master our kind of magic.”

  She laid back on the ground staring up at the sky thinking about what Reed had said, darkness was creeping in, but Sofia didn't want to leave. Reed lay down beside her. They stayed and watched as the sun went down and stars started appearing in the sky until there was too many to count. Reed didn’t say another word until finally she reluctantly got to her feet. Her tears had dried up long ago. Reeds words had helped, if only a little. She was still worried, but he had given her an idea, she wanted to visit the mountain again, she needed more answers.