Uncle John's Top Secret Bathroom Reader for Kids Only!

by Bathroom Readers' Institute

  A BIG SPLASH IN HISTORY

  The Roman historian Pliny the Elder (23–79 A.D.) reported the existence of mermaids in the Gulf of Cádiz off the coast of Spain. Pliny’s word was so respected that hundreds of years later, the people of the Middle Ages believed mermaids existed simply because he said so.

  In ancient times, no one was too anxious to see one. The mermaid’s beautiful singing was said to have hypnotized many a sailor and, like the sounds of the Sirens in Greek mythology, lured them to wreck their ships on dangerous rocks. Superstitious sailors tossed gold coins or poured wine into the water, hoping to bribe mermaids into leaving them alone during rough crossings.

  CLOSE ENCOUNTERS

  Public fascination with mermaids peaked in the 1800s. Lots of fakes were displayed at fairs and exhibitions. P. T. Barnum put a “mermaid mummy” on view in his circus sideshow. His “Feejee Mermaid,” with the bodies of a fish, a baby orangutan, and a monkey head all stitched together, quickly became a star attraction. But have there been any real mermaid sightings? Here are a few firsthand accounts:

  • In 1608 the navigator and explorer Henry Hudson reported that his crew had spotted a mermaid swimming close by the side of their ship. He wrote in his ship’s log: “From the navel upward, her back and breasts were like a woman’s; her skin was very white with long hair hanging down. They saw her tail, which was like the tail of a porpoise and speckled like a mackerel.”

  • On September 8, 1809, The Times of London published a letter from a schoolmaster in Sandside Bay, Scotland. William Munro described watching a mermaid sitting on a rock combing her hair: “The creature appeared to be an unclothed female with long, flowing light brown hair and blue eyes. She seemed to be a fully grown human, with normal mouth and nose, and though I can’t be certain, her fingers did not appear to be webbed.” Munro said he watched the mermaid for three or four minutes until she dropped back into the sea.

  George Washington soaked his false teeth in wine each night to improve their taste.

  • Around 1830 the people of Benbecula Island in the Scottish Hebrides claimed to have seen a mermaid playing in the sea. Some men tried to swim out and capture her, but she easily swam out of their reach. When a boy threw a rock and hit her, she swam away. A few days later, her body reportedly washed ashore about two miles away. Crowds gathered at the beach to see her. After the corpse had been examined, Sheriff Duncan Shaw ordered a coffin made, after which she was buried on the shore.

  Gold never tarnishes or corrodes—it stays bright forever.

  More Mermaid Sightings

  • In 1947 a fisherman from the Hebrides island of Muck saw a mermaid sitting on a floating herring box (used to preserve live lobsters), combing her hair. She dove into the sea as soon as she saw him. To his death in the 1950s, the man remained convinced that he had seen a real mermaid.

  • On December 20, 1977, the Pretoria News of South Africa reported that a mermaid was found in a storm sewer in the township of Lusaka. She was first seen by children. A reporter was told that the creature appeared to be a “European woman from the waist up, whilst the rest of her body was shaped like the back end of a fish, and covered with scales.”

  • In 1978 a 41-year-old Filipino fisherman named Jacinto Fatalvero claimed not only that he saw a mermaid one moonlit night but also that she helped him net his fish.

  FISH TALES

  Do mermaids really exist? Today most experts feel these sightings are of seals or manatees that have been mistaken for mermaids. Yet others find it hard to ignore the detailed reports of Columbus, Hudson, and others. So is the mermaid a fish…or just fishy? You decide.

  Blowhard: There are more than 10,000 geysers at Yellowstone National Park.

  LUCKY #7

  In almost every culture, seven is considered a lucky number. We’re not superstitious, but we put this on page 77 because…well…you never know.

  PERFECT NUMBER

  • Seven has been a magical number for thousands of years. Ancient people considered it the number that governs the rhythm of life. Their lives revolved around the phases of the moon, which has four cycles of 7 days.

  • Among the Sumerians, Babylonians, and Egyptians, there were 7 sacred planets: the sun, moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn.

  • The Sumerians named their gods after these 7 planets and were the first to divide the week into 7 days, each ruled by a god. So did the Romans, the Celts, and the Germanic and Norse peoples of Europe.

  • The ancient Greeks called 7 the perfect number, as it was the sum of the triangle (3) and the square (4), which they considered perfect mathematical figures.

  • Seven appears in the Bible more times than any other number. For instance, God created the Earth in six days, and then rested on the 7th day. Joshua brought down the walls of Jericho by circling the city 7 times.

  • In China, the 7th day of the first moon of the lunar year is called Human’s Day. The Chinese mark this day as the birthday of all human beings.

  The original 7-Up recipe contained horseradish.

  HOP DREAMS

  Football, baseball, and basketball—the big three American sports. But did you know that basketball was invented by a Canadian? Here’s the story.

  WINTER BALL

  In the winter of 1891, YMCA sports instructor James Naismith had a problem. It was his job to provide the local boys of Springfield, Massachusetts, with healthy activities all year-round. They played football in the fall, baseball in spring and summer—but winter was a big blank. The Canadian-born Naismith tried indoor soccer, but dropped it when it led to a broken leg and some broken windows. Indoor lacrosse was no better—these field games needed more room than a gymnasium could provide.

  PEACHY!

  So Naismith invented a new game. On December 21, 1891, he hung a peach basket from the overhead balcony at each end of the gym. He split his 18 kids into two teams and held up a soccer ball. The object of his new game? To toss the ball into the opponent’s peach basket while keeping the other team from tossing it into yours. With that, the game of basketball was born!

  Within a year, the new game had spread to other YMCAs, then to colleges and athletic clubs. But basketball was different back then, and it would take some time before it evolved into the sport we know today.

  Use both ears: It is possible to hear corn grow.

  MAKING AND BREAKING THE RULES

  At first the game was all about passing: If a player had the ball, he couldn’t run with it—he had to pass or shoot. Players quickly got past that rule by juggling the ball up in the air as they ran. Technically, they were “passing” the ball to themselves. This became known as traveling and was made illegal.

  The players didn’t like the new rule and took matters into their own hands—literally. They bounced the ball with two hands and ran between the bounces. This was called double dribbling, and a rule against it was made in 1898. The rule makers figured that would put an end to the practice, because no one thought players would ever master one-handed dribbling.

  They were wrong. Dribbling with one hand quickly became the players’ favorite way to move the ball downcourt. Rule makers finally gave in to player pressure, and by 1910 players were given permission to dribble the ball. Until 1916, for some reason, a dribbler wasn’t allowed to shoot—he had to pass the ball to another player, who could then shoot.

  WHERE’S THE BALL?

  In the early days, everybody on a team got to play—at the same time. As many as 50 players might play on each side. When fans started complaining that they couldn’t see the ball with so many players on the court, teams quickly scaled back, experimenting with smaller squads. The first game with five players on each side was in 1896 between the University of Chicago and the University of Iowa. Within a year, nearly every college team in the country had switched to five-man teams.

  On the ground, they’re called a gaggle. In the air, they’re a skein. What are they? Geese.

  HOME COURT ADVANTAGE

 
; The backboard was invented in 1895 to keep fans from reaching over the balconies where the baskets were hung and “helping” a player’s shot find the hoop. Loyal fans weren’t afraid to help their team in other ways, too. They’d throw stuff at opposing players and even reach out and trip them with umbrellas. Soon the games had to be played inside net cages to protect the players. (Basketball players came to be known as “cagers,” a nickname that stuck around long after the net cages were gone.)

  In less than a century, basketball has grown to become, after soccer, the world’s most popular sport. According to the International Federation of Basket ball, more than 400 million people play it—1 out of every 12 people on Earth!

  * * *

  AN AMAZING RECORD

  Longest Basketball Game of All Time: A game between Australian amateur league teams, the Sun-coast Clippers and the Marochydore Eagles, lasted from November 21, 1998 to November 22, 1998—24.

  Are you afraid of clowns? If so, you’re a coulrophobe. (Famous coulrophobe: Johnny Depp.)

  WHY WE SAY IT

  Here’s the inside scoop on some words and phrases we use every day.

  YOU’RE FIRED!

  Meaning: An exclamation an angry boss might use to let an employee know he’s out of a job Origin: Hundreds of years ago, when clans in Scotland wanted to get rid of unwelcome neighbors without killing them, they burned their houses down—hence the expression “to get fired.”

  COMPUTER BUG

  Meaning: A problem in the computer’s software

  Origin: In 1945 a computer at Harvard University malfunctioned. Grace Hopper, who was working on the computer, investigated and found a moth in one of the circuits. Ever since, when something goes wrong with a computer it is said to “have a bug in it.”

  BOO

  Meaning: An exclamation used to frighten or surprise someone

  Origin: In Norse mythology, Boh was the name of a great general who was the son of the god Odin. The very mention of his name panicked his enemies. Boh eventually became a word used to frighten children. Boo!

  “Mare’s tails” and “cat’s paws” are both types of clouds.

  TOP DRAWER

  Meaning: The best quality

  Origin: Traditionally, the top drawer of a dresser in British and American households was the place where jewelry and other valuables are kept.

  TO BE BESIDE YOURSELF

  Meaning: To be under great emotional stress.

  Origin: The ancient Greeks believed that when a person was under intense pressure, the soul left the body and “was beside itself.”

  SO LONG

  Meaning: Good-bye

  Origin: English sailors who came back from the Middle East liked to use the Arabic word for good-bye: salaam. But the way it came out of their mouths sounded more like “so long,” and that’s the way this phrase entered the English language.

  TO BARK UP THE WRONG TREE

  Meaning: When you try to solve a problem by using the wrong method

  Origin: Hunters have used dogs to track animals for thousands of years. Some dogs have been trained to chase their prey to a tree and then bark at that tree. But dogs sometimes get confused and make mistakes. When this happens, the hunter arrives to find no animal up there. The dog is, literally, barking up the wrong tree.

  There are at least 200 different shapes of pasta.

  WEIRD JOBS

  When Uncle John was a kid he wanted to be a pirate. Somehow he ended up making Bathroom Readers. Hey, it’s better than sniffing armpits.

  ARMPIT SNIFFER

  Betty Lyons is a scent technician (sometimes also called an odor judge) for Cincinnati Hilltop Labs in Ohio. She tests smells for a living. People who do this can identify thousands of different odors at up to 20 levels of intensity. Presented with a new scent, an odor judge can list what’s in it and how much of it is there, which is very useful when a company wants to analyze a competitor’s product.

  According to the book Odd Jobs, by Nancy Schiff, Lyons’s main job is to help companies test deodorants. She spends her days smelling diapers, cat litter, shoes, and armpits to make sure each kind of deodorant works. Betty doesn’t put her nose directly in the armpit or diaper. She keeps a safe distance from the things she smells by placing a paper tube between her nose and the offending object.

  When it comes to body odors, she says, “Everything you eat—fried chicken, alcohol, pickles—comes out under your arm. It comes out anyplace you sweat, even on your feet.”

  Think you’ve got a nose for this job? Want to be a before-and-after armpit and foot sniffer? Go for it! Good ones earn $40,000 to $50,000 a year.

  Spelunking is the sport of exploring caves.

  ROAD KILL REMOVER

  You’ve probably never thought about it, but when animals are hit by cars on highways, someone has to take them away. People called road kill removers (RKRs) are hired to do the job. Most of the bodies are dumped in landfills, but not all. Workers in this business—sometimes called pet wranglers—are allowed to keep all the hides they can salvage. There are other benefits, too, says one RKR. “You can cook all you can scrape up, so it cuts down on grocery bills.” Typical pay for this job: $30,000 a year—and all you can eat.

  Molly Pitchers were women who served on the battlefield during the American Revolution—they carried pitchers of water to cool the cannons.

  GLASS EYE PAINTER

  Why do glass eyes look so real? An artist paints them that way. Annette Kirszrot owns her own artificial eye business in New York. She’s been painting prosthetic eyes for more than 30 years. She has painted thousands of them and says, “No two eyes are ever alike.” By the way, most glass eyes made in the United States aren’t glass at all—they’re made of plastic!

  ICE CREAM TASTER

  Wow! A job where you eat ice cream all day! Sounds like a dream, doesn’t it? According to ice cream taster John Harrison, it’s not quite what you think—he doesn’t really eat the ice cream he tastes. Using a gold-plated spoon (to make sure he tastes only the ice cream’s flavor), he first swirls the ice cream in his mouth to cover all 10,000 taste buds on his tongue. Then he smacks his lips to bring in room-temperature air. Meanwhile he’s checking to see if the ice cream is smooth and creamy. If it’s icy, gummy, or coarse, he gives it a thumbs-down. Then, after he’s swirled, smacked, and rated his ice cream, he spits it out into a trash barrel. His favorite flavor: cookies and cream (he invented it).

  * * *

  LOONEY LAW

  In Newark, New Jersey, it’s illegal to sell ice cream after 6 p.m.…unless the customer has a note from a doctor.

  CELL PHONE TAG

  Things have changed a lot since Uncle John was a kid…like, when did “tag” go digital?

  Object of the Game: To be the team that tags the most people

  Number of Players: As many kids as possible—the more the better

  Setup: Divide the group into teams of 2 to 3 players. Each team needs a cell phone, a sheet of paper, and a pencil. Exchange team phone numbers and program them into speed dial. Agree on a home base, then decide how long you want the game to last. Next, set boundaries for the playing field (mall, park, neighborhood, etc.).

  How to Play: To start, teams go and hide. You are on the prowl to spot the other teams and tag them—without being seen! When you see another team, “tag” them by calling their cell phone. You must speak to the team directly (no voice messages) and describe exactly where they’re hiding. If the other team sees you, the tag doesn’t count and they must give you 2 minutes to rehide before they can tag you back. Record your tags and the locations on your sheet of paper. Continue tagging (and avoiding being tagged) until the time is up.

  At the end of the game, meet back at home base. The team with the most tags wins. Bonus: It’s free on weekends!

  Blah, blah: The average person spends about 2 years of their lifetime talking on the phone.

  CLASSICAL KOOK

  Most of us know that Beethoven was a great composer—mayb
e the greatest who has ever lived. Here are some facts you may not know about this eccentric musical genius.

  LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN

  Born: Bonn, Germany, 1770

  Died: Vienna, Austria, 1827

  • He had a rare condition called synesthesia, which means the senses are connected: for example, a person can taste sounds, and musical notes are seen in colors.

  • He was only 26 and at the height of his career when his hearing began to fail. The condition grew worse until, at age 47, he was completely deaf. Amazingly, he wrote some of his greatest works—including his Ninth Symphony (“Ode to Joy”)—after this point.

  • Beethoven never washed his clothes. His friends would take them while he slept, and replace them with clean ones. Beethoven never noticed.

  • His buck teeth were the cleanest part of his body because he rubbed them constantly with a napkin.

  • Beethoven was known for spitting in restaurants and dumping plates of food on people’s heads.

  • His favorite foods were macaroni and cheese, red herrings, egg and bread soup, and extra-strong coffee.

  • Once he got angry at a prince who was supporting him and said, “There are thousands of princes. There is only one Beethoven!” (Of course, he was right.)

  In a hurry? A grand piano can be played faster than an upright piano.

  ASK THE EXPERTS

  Uncle John asks a lot of questions. And when he needs an answer, where does he go? To the experts.

  BAD BREATH

  Q: What causes bad breath?

  A: There are two possible causes for bad breath: The first is a problem called halitosis, which is a result of not brushing your teeth, tooth decay, or gum diseases. To solve this problem you need to brush regularly or be treated by a dentist or periodontist (a doctor who treats gum disease). The other cause could be the food you eat. Onions and garlic contain oils that are absorbed by the digestive system and passed on to the bloodstream. Then the blood transports the oils to the lungs. In the lungs, the oils mix with the carbon dioxide gas that you just naturally exhale and that produces bad-smelling breath. (From Icky Squishy Science, by Sandra Markle)