I was sobbing now, and my voice had gone so high-pitched I didn’t think he could hear me anyway. He ran round the bed and held me as I sank down onto the floor, pulling me into his arms and onto his lap. He rocked me, shushing me gently, as I cried and held him tightly. I wanted him to go, but when he held me like this I didn’t ever want him to leave. He stroked my hair and kept repeating he was sorry.
‘I love you,’ I sobbed.
‘I’m sorry, Casey. I really didn’t mean to hurt you.’
‘Why her?’ I asked so quietly that the words nearly didn’t come out.
He lifted me up and sat me on the bed. ’We have history, babe. Her and me.’ His voice was gentle. ‘We’ve been together for a very long time. I can’t see anything bad happen to her.’
I wiped my tears away and looked at him, puzzled. Why would anything bad happen to her? Danny looked sad.
‘She hurts herself. Not always, just sometimes. When you and I got back from visiting Becky, she came into my bar with both wrists sliced open. She told me she was going to kill herself if we couldn’t be together.’
‘But that’s no reason to be with someone,’ I argued.
‘I love her, Casey. I do. In my own way. She isn’t easy to love, but I made her a promise and I like to stick to my word.’
‘What about me?’ I sounded so pathetic.
‘I really do care about you. You make things easier for me. You are my escape. I need you both.’
I shook my head. No, I wasn’t prepared to feel worthless because I made it easier for this man to cheat on his girlfriend. I looked straight at him and parted my lips. He leant forward to kiss me, but I stopped him.
‘So, go.’ And I got up and walked out of the bedroom.
I waited until I was in the safety of my living room before I let myself cry again. After a while, I heard the door close quietly, and knew Danny had just walked out of my life for good.
Chapter Thirty-Three
The Oxford English Dictionary defines cheating as to act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage. To be sexually unfaithful. I don’t know what either of us had gained from the years I wasted on Danny. People said he had used me, but we had used each other. I had been a broken woman and I had let him fix me. Unfortunately, I had also assumed that I couldn’t be the new me without him. I was wrong.
Summer arrived, and the days got longer, and life in general felt brighter. I threw myself into work, and with my extra energy being put to better use, I managed to get a promotion in the office. I rang my parents more often. I vowed to never argue with Kat again. I deleted Facebook, and tried living in real life. That only lasted a few days, though. As I said before, I was addicted. I did, however, delete and block all the negative people from my life, starting with Danny.
I celebrated every birthday, anniversary, and wedding that crossed my path, and stopped feeling sorry for myself. That person was gone. I stopped seeing pregnant women as a punishment, but as the joyous thing it was. So, babies might not be in my future, but that didn’t mean there was anything wrong with other people making a future for the world. I had options. If I ever did meet the right guy, we could adopt, or foster. I thought about all the abandoned children in the world I could help.
I liked being the cool auntie anyway. Brody was my world. His little face made my heart leap every time I saw it. I didn’t get a single pang of jealousy when Kat told me she was expecting again, and in time she had a beautiful baby girl, Alesha.
Everybody I knew was carrying on with life. Becky was doing so much better after finally kicking Andy out. He had been bringing her down for far too long. After a few months of juggling the kids on her own, she had met a lovely young man. Daniel treated her and the children how they should have been treated all along. It took a while, but Andy eventually stepped up to his role as part-time dad, and all the family were happier for it.
Larissa got married, but decided she wasn’t ready to start breeding yet. We all encouraged her to give us a baby to cuddle – even me – but she loved the freedom her partner gave her, and she stayed as my regular drinking buddy after work and weekends.
Christina started putting herself first. She wouldn’t let her baby daddy treat her badly, and they became a strong couple. I loved to see her smiling every day instead of coming in almost in tears.
Grace managed to bag herself a dashing young pilot she had been after for years, and gave up our office to join him in the skies. I was glad to be invited to their wedding, but knew I was going to miss seeing her face every day.
Katherine and her husband renewed their wedding vows, with their children as bridesmaids and page boys. It was a beautiful day that didn’t coincide with any football match, so everybody had a smile on their face – even Derek.
Max and Lisa had a baby girl. They called her Bethany. I didn’t see her, but I saw his mum in town carrying a baby girl balloon and stopped her to chat. I posted them a congratulations card and put a £20 voucher in it for a designer baby clothes shop in Brighton that we used to look at in the early days.
Dad got a girlfriend. I couldn’t believe it when he brought her down to see me for a visit. They stayed with George, who lived not far from my flat, and I have never seen my father smile so much. Mum and Jonathan were taking New York by storm, and Lexi and Mark were starring together in a new Quentin Tarantino film.
I heard that Danny got dumped. Erica apparently met somebody else on a photo shoot in Paris, and was now living it up in Milan. She didn’t even tell him. Just moved out her stuff when he was at the other bar. I suppose he rather deserved that treatment, but I couldn’t help feeling a little bit sorry for him. Not sorry enough to accept the message request I had from him on Messenger.
Looking at my phone, I updated my Facebook status. Feeling Happy. I walked round the corner to the shop and could hear updates coming through. A heart from Ben, which gave away that Kat was using the wrong Facebook again.
So glad, commented Katherine.
Keep it up, girl, from Lexi.
I was taking myself out on a date. Nibbles from Asda for during the film, and then maybe some dinner at Frankie and Benny’s. Once upon a time the idea of sitting in a restaurant or the cinema on my own would have terrified me. But I was Casey Turner. I could do anything I put my mind to.
Paying for my ticket using my Apple Pay, I felt like someone was watching me. Glancing over, a man with tanned skin and a shaved head was looking my way. He nodded his head at me, and I smiled shyly in reply. My one single ticket felt very light in my hand, and I looked down to switch my phone off and placed it in my bag. When I looked up again, he was gone.
They had let in the crowd for the other screen, so I had either imagined him or he had gone in there. After the movie, I waited until I was sitting comfortably in the restaurant and ordered my drink, before I turned my phone back on. Checking the other comments and reactions on my earlier post and then scanning the menu for what I wanted to eat, I heard a voice close to me.
‘Is this seat taken?’
I looked up to see the man from the cinema. Smiling, I shook my head. We ate, drank, and laughed long into the night.
I was never looking for love. It kind of just happened.
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Table of Contents
Section 1
Section 2
Section 3
Section 4
Section 5
Section 6
Section 7
Section 8
Section 9
Section 10
Section 11
Section 12
Section 13
Section 14
Section 15
Section 16
Section 17
Section 18
Section 19
Section 20
Secti
on 21
Another Woman's Man Page 14