Get Somebody New

by Lewis, Michael

  “You have been blocking your blessing trying to hold on to her. That girl is like a damn cancer. You will be ok.”

  “Paige is the best thing that came from this mess of a marriage. Nadiah will be served with divorce papers today. I’m not wasting any time. I want this nightmare over.”

  “I am so proud of you.”

  “So how are things with you and Jazz? I know he is making you happy because you’re glowing.”

  “It shows huh?”

  “Yeah, I can see your happiness. Jazz seems like a good guy.”

  “I told him to take it one day at a time and be himself. He was trying to live up to stereotypes until I told him there is no gay handbook.”

  “So have y’all done the …..well you know?”

  “Have we? You mean how many times! I wouldn’t keep going back for more if it wasn’t good either, the best!”

  “Really? The best?”

  “Yes.”

  “Damn, my cousin done got turned out.”

  “I can’t even lie; I’ve been turned inside out.”

  “The last time I had some was ……. When was Paige born? Well 9 months before then. That’s how long! I was about to go crazy until that part of me just shut down. When I do get some I might blow something up.”

  Jazz walked in just as Alton finished his sentence. When Jazz walks into a room it’s a good feeling to be able to look at him and say, “Yeah, he’s mine.”

  “Hey Alton what’s up? You look like you’re having a rough day man.”

  Jazz’s comment opened the floodgates and poor Alton broke down and cried like a baby. I hated to see him in so much pain, but at least he was past trying to act brave. He was being forced to deal with his feelings. Crying was good because he was letting go of all that pain. Only then could he get over Nadiah and go on with his life.

  Jazz sat on the sofa next to me. I quietly told him what was going on with Alton.

  “Oh shit, are you serious? He caught them?” He said loudly.

  “Yeah.”

  Jazz went over to Alton, put his arms around him, and hugged him as he sobbed.

  “Alton I know it hurts man. I ain’t gonna say what you already heard probably a hundred times. You’re gonna come out with me tonight. We’re gonna get your mind off of it, right Zeke?” Jazz said as he winked at me.

  “Yeah let’s go have some fun.”

  Jazz and I took Alton out for some drinks and few games of pool. As the designated driver, I limited my drinks to a couple of beers. It had to be the liquor in his system that made Alton suggest going to a gay club because he was curious to see what it was like. We ended up at Rain, an upscale club on the upper west side. The line was wrapped around the club. I was about to turn around when Jazz grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the front of the line.

  “Follow me, I can get us in.”

  The three of us boldly walked up to the front. When the line attendant saw Jazz, he smiled brightly, they exchanged daps, and he lifted the guard rope to let us in. Jazz was holding my hand at first, but as we walked past the guard rope, he got behind me and put his hands around my waist.

  We heard plenty of huffs, moans, and teeth sucks from the people having to wait in that long ass line. They were trying to figure out which celebrities we were, as they figured we had to be celebs to get that posh treatment. I loved it!

  Once inside the club, Alton leaned in my ear and said,

  “Zeke if somebody tries to hit on me you are my boyfriend, got it?”

  “Okay.”

  Jazz seemed to know everybody.

  “I do gigs here all the time, baby. I know you have been trying to figure out what’s going on.” Jazz explained.

  “It’s all good.”

  All of a sudden the music stopped and a spotlight came on and after panning the room the light rested on the three of us.

  “Ladies and gentlemen we have a guest in the house tonight, its DJ Slade. Yo Slade, why don’t you come spin something for the people.”

  “Aiight!”

  Jazz asked Alton if he wanted to come up on the platform but he said he’d just walk around the club. I didn’t get an option. He grabbed me by the hand and just took me with him.

  After a while I scanned the crowd for Alton and spotted him dancing with some girl who was so mesmerized by Alton she was just smiling and gushing like a schoolgirl.

  After Jazz finished the three of us went to the V.I.P. section. That area of the club was insulated so the music wasn’t so loud and we could hear each other talk. After a few more drinks we decided to call it a night. Since I had sweated most of my buzz out, I was ok to drive. Jazz and Alton sat in the back as I played chauffer. Minutes into the drive, both of them were sleep and laid over on each other. They reminded me of an episode of Tom and Jerry when Tom and all of his tomcat friends had a party and ended up hung over the next morning. There were drunken cats hanging on the fence, in the alley, and Tom was drunkenly sleeping in the window.

  Once we got home, Jazz went straight to the shower. Alton was so wasted I had to help him in the house. I took him into my guest room, took his shoes off and was about to put him in the bed when he said he had to go to the restroom. So I helped him up and let him lean on me as he walked. When he got there, he just stood there as if he’d forgotten what to do.

  “Help me out Zeke.”

  “Help you?”

  “Yeah, you gotta take it out for me.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “If you don’t want me to pee on myself I am.”

  I had to undo his pants and hold his trouser snake while he did his business. Of course, it was as if every ounce of liquid he’d ever consumed was coming out at that one time. I thought he’d never get done. When I was putting it away he got an erection. I never knew Alton was holding like that. Jazz walked in, looked, rubbed his eyes, and did a double take as if his eyes were deceiving him. I was trying to figure out how to explain to my boyfriend why I was standing there with my cousin’s rock hard dick in my hand. It could have easily looked like something it wasn’t. Jazz just laughed and I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Damn, now that’s what you called messed up. You go ahead and take care of Alton, I’m gonna get in the bed. ….and baby?”

  “What?”

  “I’ll be waiting for you.” Jazz said as he winked and licked his lips sensually.

  I gave up trying to fix Alton’s clothes. I just took him to the guest bedroom, undressed him, pulled up his underwear, and put him under the covers. I took a quick shower and went to my room. When I got there, Jazz was lying in the bed nude and stroking himself slowly under the glow of the red light beside my bed.

  “Zeke, you know what time it is, don’t you?”

  I knew exactly what time it was and I was ready. Action!!!

  The next morning I got up bright and early to make coffee. Alton stumbled around while trying to wake up completely.

  “Alton how do you feel?”

  “I feel like death warmed over. Did I make a fool of myself last night?”

  “No not really, you were just tipsy and feeling good.”

  “Did I do something inappropriate with you last night?”

  “No, I just had to help you in the restroom because you couldn’t do anything but stand there. You got a woody when I was putting it away. I just undressed you and put you in bed. I did see a very big side of you I’ve never seen before though. ” I said teasingly.

  “I am so embarrassed.”

  “That’s nothing. Do you remember the club last night?”

  “The club?”

  “Yeah, and the girl you were dancing with?”

  “I danced?”

  “Yep.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Sure did.”

  “Wow, I remember playing pool and going to the club but that’s all.”

  “I knew you were just flirting anyway. I know that girl went home with wet panties from the trance you had her in. Here, drink this
. It’s some strong Turkish roast coffee.”

  “Thanks I need it. I am going to see Rachel before I go to work.”

  “You like Rachel don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I like her a lot. Does it show?”

  “Whenever you mention her you start grinning like a Cheshire cat!”

  “Yeah, she makes me smile. Well, I’m gonna get on out of here. I’ll see you tonight.”

  Just as Alton got his keys and briefcase preparing to go, Jazz walked out of the bedroom.

  “What’s up people? That was a wild night last night. You feel ok Alton.”

  “I feel like hell, but the coffee helped.”

  “Oh, good. Gimme a cup too, Zeke. I feel like I been beat with a tree branch.”

  “Alright guys, I’m gonna get out of here. I’ll see you tonight.” Alton said.

  When Alton walked out the door a chill went through me and I ran to the door to call Alton back to the house.

  “What’s up cuz?”

  “Alton I have a bad feeling. It’s your truck Alton. I don’t feel right about it.”

  “What’s wrong Zeke?”

  “I just have a bad feeling telling me you should not get in that truck. Please take my car.” I said handing him my keys.

  “The truck is fine. You worry too much. I’ll be okay man.”

  “Please Alton I wish you would take my car.”

  “I’ll be okay Zeke. Don’t worry.

  “Be careful Alton.”

  “I will.”

  Just as I went back into the house, Jazz yelled “What the Hell!” then I heard tires screech outside. Jazz grabbed his keys and flew past me and out the front door in his boxers. When I looked out the window smoke was everywhere. It was coming from inside Alton’s truck. When flames shot out of the windows, I ran to the truck and heard Alton yelling for help.

  Alton was trapped inside. I had to get a tire iron from my trunk and pry the truck door open. I grabbed my cousin and pulled him out of the burning truck. My neighbor ran out with a fire extinguisher and put the fire out. He also said that he had called 911 already. The paramedics arrived shortly and took him to the hospital. I ran and changed out of my pajamas and went to the hospital right behind them. I was so nervous I could barely drive and I worried about Jazz too because he hadn’t returned.

  At the hospital, I sat nervously in the waiting room. I didn’t know how bad Alton was. His face was red when I pulled him out of the truck but it didn’t look burned. Finally they got him stabilized and I was able to go see him. Before I went in to see him, my cell phone rang. It was Jazz.

  “Hello?”

  “Baby, I need you to come get me.”

  “Come get you? Where are you?”

  “I’m in Jail.”

  “Jail?”

  “Yeah, I’ll tell you about it when you get here. Please bring me some clothes too. You know I left the house only wearing my drawers.”

  “Okay. Let me go see how Alton is and I’ll be right on.”

  Alton was sedated with bandages all over his face. The doctor told me they sedated him in case he was in pain. They ran tests and he didn’t have smoke inhalation, but he had passed out from the heat in the truck. They also ran tests to make sure he didn’t have a heat stroke. They were still awaiting the results. I talked to him a little and rubbed his hand. He opened his eyes and nodded that he could hear me. I told him I had to go get Jazz and I would be right back to stay with him. As bad as the day started off it couldn’t get any worse ….. Right?………..wrong!

  Jazz

  When I woke up I just knew it was going to be a wonderful day. I couldn’t wait to tease Alton about how drunk he got the night before. My nickname for him is “church boy” cause he rarely drinks, rarely cusses, and is always such a perfect gentleman. I was standing at the kitchen window when Zeke went out to say something to Alton before he got in his truck. As Zeke came back inside, all of a sudden I saw a car pull up to the curb. Somebody jumped out wearing all black clothes and a ski mask carrying a lit Molotov cocktail. They threw it into Alton’s truck through the window. I grabbed my keys and ran out the door to my truck to try to catch the car that sped off. I didn’t think about the fact that I only had on my boxers and nothing else.

  After I wrote down the license plate number I heard a siren. I didn’t know why I was being pulled over. The officer walked up to the truck and at once I recognized him. It went downhill from there.

  “Why the hell did you pull me over?”

  “I’m asking the questions. Give me your license and proof of insurance.”

  “Not until you tell me what you pulled me over for.”

  “Cause I felt like it! Get out and put your hands on the vehicle.”

  “I ain’t doing shit until you tell me why you stopped me.”

  He lost his patience with me because the next thing I knew, the barrel of a gun was pointed at my face.

  “Get out of the truck and lay your black ass on the ground, right now!”

  I got out of my truck but damned if I was gonna lie down on the ground to be humiliated by that motherfucker of all people. I stood there with my hands on my head.

  “I told you to lie down on the ground.”

  “Fuck you! Either arrest me or let me go! If you’re gonna shoot me then do it. The only way I’ll lay on the ground for your ass is if I’m dead.”

  “I’m taking your ass in. Let’s see how much of a “Thug” you are behind bars.”

  “Fuck you and the bitch that gave birth to your slimy ass! Go eat a dick! You got the game all fucked up if you think you gonna punk me partna! I live right around the corner; you could at least let me get some damn clothes.”

  “Yes, I could couldn’t I?”

  I wasn’t about to beg that idiot for a damn thing. When we got to the station, after sitting in the car and getting out again my dick fell out of my underwear.

  “Hey man, you think you could uncuff me so I can fix my damn drawers so my dick ain’t hanging all out?”

  ‘No, I ain’t uncuffing nothing.”

  “Fine! Let it hang, I ain’t embarrassed. Hell, that’s free advertising.”

  Once I was booked and placed in a holding cell I finally got a chance to call Zeke. I asked him to bring me some clothes. I was a ticking time bomb and dared any one of those punk ass officers to go one on one with me. I could kick any of their asses and wouldn’t need a gun or stick to do it.

  About 4 hours later Zeke finally showed up to bail me out. He was obviously pissed off too.

  “Damn what took you so long baby?”

  “They gave me the run around. Nobody could tell me what the charge was so I could pay the correct bail. They first told me resisting arrest but when I went to pay the bail the charge was possession of a controlled substance. So then I got more money and went back and they said the charge was assaulting an officer. I got more money and went to pay the bail and the charge was still wrong. I finally got to the bottom of it.”

  “I hope they told you what I was charged with because they still haven’t told me nor have they read me any rights.”

  “How are they gonna arrest you without telling you why? They charged you with speeding, assaulting an officer, and evading arrest.”

  “That lying bastard!”

  “Huh?”

  “This is all about you.”

  “Me? What do I have to do with it?”

  “It was your sorry ass ex that arrested me. Then he tried to embarrass me by taking me into the station with my dick hanging out.”

  “Who, Jamal?”

  “Yeah. He is mad that he messed up and now you got a real man instead of his punk ass. He can’t handle it.”

  “He is not going to get away with this. He has gone too far.”

  “I don’t want you to beg that bastard for nothing.”

  “I am not begging him for shit.”

  “So how is my boy Alton? Man, I hope he ain’t hurt too bad. I got the license plate number of the car, but if
I could have caught up with it, I would have rendered some hood justice.”

  “They had him sedated. His face is wrapped up. He opened his eyes and communicated with me so he is cognizant.”

  “That’s good. That wife of his is probably tied up in this. Do you think she would stoop to trying to kill him?”

  “Yes I do. She probably flipped when she got served with the divorce papers. I told you that bitch is evil.”

  “Well just take me to get my truck and I’ll go to see Alton.”

  “Okay.”

  On the way to the hospital I got a call from Marlena and let it go to voice mail.

  “Hi Jazz, this is Marlena. I have some producers who are very interested in working with you. Give me a call when you get my message.”

  I went to see Alton first. He was asleep and I didn’t want to wake him. I said a quick prayer over him, and wrote him a note to let him know I’d been there and that I’d come check on him a little later.

  I returned Marlena’s call when I got in my truck.

  “Hello Marlena this is Jazz. I got your message and I am glad to hear you like my demo.”

  “Yes, your work is very good. Can you meet with me today?” “Sure, where and what time.”

  “At the office in about 2 hrs.”

  “Okay. I’ll be there.”

  I called Zeke on my way home.

  “Hello, baby I have a meeting with Marlena in a couple of hours. I am on my way home. I need you to put out my navy blue suit, my blue and white tie and my navy shoes. So I can just come in and take a shower and change.”

  “Okay, I’ll do it now.”

  “Thanks.”

  I ran in the house and took a quick shower. Zeke had my clothes laid out for me so I changed quickly. As always, I had trouble tying my tie. I just never got that whole tie thing down.

  “Come here Jazz. Let me do it.”

  “Thanks baby. I’ll call you and let you know how the meeting went. I really feel good about it, she seemed really excited.”

  When I got to the office I didn’t see anyone. Finally after about 20 minutes Marlena walked in.

  “I am so sorry. I was running a bit late.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “I like your work and I am a person who shoots straight from the hip.”