“Zeke, what’s wrong with you?”
“Who are you? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”
“Zeke you don’t understand. First let me ask you, how do you know him?”
“I met him about 3 years ago at a birthday party one of my friends had. He tried to holla but I wasn’t interested. We ended up becoming friends because we kept running into each other. It’s kind of a joke, when we see each other he always asks me when I’m going out with him. He knows it ain’t happening. I saw him when you and I went out with Alton.”
“Yeah, I saw him that night. I didn’t know you knew him though. I pulled you away from him when he was trying to dance with you.”
“Jazz, don’t tell me that’s what all of this is about?”
“No, Zeke. I grew up with him. I heard him at the door, but I am not mad about that. You remember the call I got last night from my dad?”
“Yes.”
“Well he is the cause of it. He called my pops and told him about us. Told him he’d seen me all around Atlanta with some gay dude I was dating.”
“But why Jazz?”
“I grew up with Marcus. We were friends a long time ago. That was a bunch of shit when he asked what my name was cause he already knows I’m with you.”
“Jazz what did he do to make you hate him so much?”
“People teased him all the time in school, calling him sissy and fag and shit. Since we were cool and from the same street I started looking out for him. Once people knew he was cool with me they left him alone. One night we were chilling at my house Marcus, me, and some of my other boys. Marcus ended up staying the night. The next day my pops called him in the living room and closed the door saying he wanted to talk to him alone. When they came out Marcus was crying and wouldn’t look at me. He shot out of the house like somebody was after him. My pops was looking at me all crazy and shit.”
“What did your dad do to him?”
“Marcus had slept on the sofa in my room. Sometime during the night that fool got up, came over to the bed, pulled the covers back, and started sucking my dick. I had been drinking that night and it was all I could do to find the bed so I was knocked out and never even woke up.”
“What the hell?”
“My pops got up to check the front door. When he passed by the room to check on us he saw Marcus. He stood there and watched him. That’s what he wanted to talk to Marcus about. Marcus straight lied yo. He told my pops that we had been fucking around for about a month. He lied straight up.”
“Why didn’t your dad ask you?”
“Marcus was a scary little bitch so pops figured he'd be too scared not to tell him the truth. My pops threatened to kill him if he didn’t tell him what was going on. Marcus lied on me to save his own ass. If he’d told my pops the truth that would have been his ass. My old man was feeling sorry for him thinking I was some kind of bully forcing him to be my personal suck boy or some shit. He said I had forced him to start messing around with me. I never even thought about him like that.”
“What did you dad do?”
“After Marcus ran out the damn house my pops told my mom to go get him something from the store across town. As soon as she backed out the driveway he called me in the den. So I pimp strolled my happy ass in there thinking he wanted to shoot the breeze. That nigga didn’t say shit he just punched me in the face. I was trying to figure out what was going on and he just laid into me. He kept punching me in the face calling me a fag. I didn’t even know about what Marcus had done, but I had to do something or my pops was gonna kill me. He had me down on the sofa choking me and I was about to black out. I grabbed an aluminum bat and tried to crack his skull open. I got him good enough to make him let me up. He came at me again and I fought him the best I could, but that nigga had gone stone crazy. I woke up in the hospital.”
“What kind of damn family did you grow up in? When I told my dad he hugged me and told me that I was his son and he loved me no matter what. If my dad had acted like yours I would have been in an institution and he would have been dead. My mom would have killed him and I would have lost my mind.”
“He felt like an ass when he found out that Marcus had lied. That was the first and only time I ever saw my old man cry, cause of what he did to me. When he got done he went straight to Marcus’s house.”
“What did he do?”
“He kicked the door in and went straight for Marcus. His parents were holding my dad back trying to see what was going on. When my dad told them what Marcus did, the lie he told, and what he’d done to me behind it, they moved out of his way.”
“Oh lord what did he do to that child?”
“He grabbed him but he didn’t hit him. He told him he was disgusted at what he did and he didn’t ever want to see him around his house again.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah.”
“No wonder you are always beating people up. What did you do to Marcus?”
“I was hurt by what he did. The lie he told about me threatening him was so messed up because I was the one who had been protecting him. I never woulda bullied him like that. Marcus and I ain’t been the same since then. I wasn’t mean to him and still kept the thugs from fucking with him. He admitted after we got out of high school that he was in love with me but he knew we’d never get together because I wasn’t gay.
When he saw that you and I had hooked up I guess he got jealous. He probably figured since I was with a dude it should have been him. Now he’s really trying to cause problems cause he wanted both me and you at one time or another.”
“Your temper is scary Jazz. You need to tone all that fighting down. You have to do things differently.”
“So now you’re going to lecture me? I know I shoulda handled the shit better, I know, I know. I hate that you saw me acting like that again. You jumped back 2 feet when I tried to kiss you. You don’t ever have to be scared of me OK? Now come here baby. Man, Zeke I love you so much…. Real talk!”
Just as I finally got my kiss, there was a loud knock on the door.
“I wonder who that is.” Zeke said.
“Ain’t nobody but the Police.”
“The Police!”
“Yeah, I know that knock.”
I opened the door.
“Jazz Hardaway?” The officer asked.
“You are under arrest for ……”
“Yeah I know, I know. Let’s get this over with.”
“I’m sorry Zeke. I’ll fix this, don’t worry.”
Zeke came outside as they walked me to the car. The disappointment on his face made me feel so bad once again. His man was once again helpless in his eyes. I knew I’d let him down. I asked Zeke to come over to me. The officer let him through.
“Zeke I am sorry. I will do better. I promise I will. I know I let you down, but I’m gonna make it OK.”
Zeke gave me a hug before they put me in the car. Marcus then showed his true colors.
“I want to press charges. He tried to kill me because I told his dad he was dating him.” He said pointing to Zeke.
“I’ll be out in a few hours.” I said to Zeke.
“It’s going to take more than a few hours to get out with a charge of Attempted Murder, and that’s if the judge sets bail.” The officer remarked.
The officer shoved me in the car and started up. I realized it was much more serious than I thought. What the hell was I going to do?
Nadiah
I readily confessed everything. After I told the police everything that happened and how I felt after having the baby, they sent me to a psychiatrist for a mental evaluation. I’ll admit that I did embellish a lot of the things I told them, figuring they would diagnose me as Manic Depressive. With that diagnosis, I hoped the judge would have a different opinion of me since I’d come off as the classic abuser in court. About a week after all the testing I had a hearing with the doctor, some other health people, the judge and the lawyers.
“After our evaluation we all came to the same conc
lusion. We initially considered Bipolar Disorder but the symptoms are inconsistent with Bipolar Disorder. The symptoms you reported are more in line with Schizophrenic Delusional Psychosis. We feel that a mental health facility would be more effective in treating you and managing your mental state.” The Psychiatrist stated.
“We have met with the prosecution and they have agreed to drop the charges if you will agree to submit yourself to the Sunny Brook Inpatient Mental Health Program for an initial period of 3 months. Your progress will be evaluated and if your illness is well managed you will be able to return home. You will have to start medication but your doses will be adjusted for continual maintenance of your condition.” My lawyer carefully explained.
“So basically, you all are saying I am crazy and I need to be committed for 3 months. I am not crazy.”
“No Ms. Allen crazy is such an ugly term. They have identified an issue that needs to be attended to in order to make you all better and they feel that Sunny Brook is the place for that.”
“Stop talking to me like I am remedial! You are my lawyer and you agreed to this? Do you think I am crazy?”
“We don’t use the term “crazy” it is so pejorative. We think you will benefit from the wonderful program that Sunny Brook is able to offer you. What you need is treatment not punishment.” My lawyer said softly while smiling at me like I was a loon.
I didn’t appreciate being spoken to in that condescending manner. I had two choices. I could either articulate my feelings to convey my extreme irritation over the mob they’d assembled against me. Or I could go off like a straight hood bitch. I chose door number two. I snatched the long legal folder my lawyer always carried in his hand and slapped him across his balding, gray haired head with it. The doctor came toward me with his hands outstretched like I needed a hug. I was especially irritated with him because he was the cause of all this. I simply grabbed him by his rubbery, chicken neck and squeezed. Seconds later two men came in and put me in a straightjacket and took me out of the room.
“Get that crazy bitch on some meds, Stat!” I heard an officer say to the doctor before the door closed.
“Crazy bitch? I’ll show you a crazy bitch! I got something for your ass you little fat fucker!”
I knew all too well they just said 3 months to keep me calm. Once I got to that place, they were going to try to keep me there indefinitely. Had I been as crazy as they assumed I would have gone peacefully and not said a word.
I had not been back to the house Alton and I shared since the night he put me out. Somehow the jail had that as my current address. In actuality, I had been using my mother’s address instead. When it was time to take me to Sunny Brook, they took me to Alton’s by mistake. I tried to tell them that I didn’t live there. They shushed me and said, “You may not know it, but this is where you lived. It’ll be okay we won’t let the boogeyman get you.”
“Did that idiot just say the boogeyman? What do I look like? The goddamn Gerber baby?”
My words stopped cold when I looked out the window of the van and saw that woman walking out of the front door of my house.
“What in THE hell?” I shouted as I began to make my way to the front of the van.
“Ma’am wait.”
“Get off me!”
“Alton what in the hell is this?”
Alton stood in the middle of the driveway with his mouth open shocked to see me.
“What are you doing here Nadiah?”
“No, what the hell is she doing here?”
“You lost the privilege to question me. Hey guys you made a mistake. This is my ex-wife. She does not live here.”
“So this is why you wanted to expedite things. You couldn’t wait to get that bitch in my house! How do you like living in my shadow bitch? You like my leftovers, Fido?”
“Nadiah that’s enough!” Alton shouted.
“Move! I want to talk to that bitch right there.”
“Nadiah, no more! You got it? No more!”
“What? Alton, Be quiet.”
“Nadiah, you won’t disrespect me, Rachel, or my house. You don’t want me to deal with you the way you deserve. Get your ass back in the van and go on where you are supposed to be.”
“You ain’t gonna do shit. You never will be anything but a punk ass, no balls having, weak doormat. Take your insignificant ass somewhere.”
Alton turned his back to me and walked away.
“Go inside baby.” He said to Rachel.
“Yeah, that’s a good dog, do like your master says. Sit Ubu, sit.” I said to her.
“Will you ever stop being such an evil shrew?” Alton said as he walked toward the house.
“I’m not finished talking to you comeback here.”
“You are finished! Now fuck off!”
“I said come here.”
Alton turned around swiftly and took a couple of steps toward me, then stopped in his tracks.
“Nadiah why are you such a bitch?” He asked rhetorically.
He turned around to go inside as if I was going to stand there idly after he’d called me a bitch. I had to beat his ass one time for the road since he wanted to show off in front of his new bitch. I rushed him from behind and jumped on his back. I clawed at his face in a rage.
At that point the two orderlies were running up the driveway to get me. Alton flipped me off of his back and I landed in the grass.
“Nadiah get your ass in the van I’m warning you.”
“Fuck you! You were acting like the holy saint while you have been fucking with that bitch the whole time.”
I charged at him again with my fist drawn. Alton reached out with his long arm and grabbed me by my throat cutting off my breath. He lifted me in the air and started talking.
“Nadiah, I begged you to leave me alone. I forgave you after you tried to kill me, but you keep fucking with me!” He said as his voice lowered to an eerie gravelly growl and hot, angry tears poured from his eyes.
He lifted me into the air with his large hands wrapped around my throat and threw me about 10 feet across the yard. Alton then did something I didn’t expect. As I walked toward him he was also coming toward me!
“Nadiah, I meant what I said! NO MORE!!!!!” He said as he cried.
When he reached me Alton grabbed both sides of my head with both hands.
“I swear the only way I won’t kill you, is that God strikes me down before you take your last breath. No More! You hear me? No fucking more!” He said as he pushed me to the ground.
As he stood over me I tried to get away from him but he kneeled down and grabbed me. Alton grabbed my hair with his left hand and drew his right fist back.
“Alton, No! No! No! Don’t do it!” I heard Rachel scream.
I shut my eyes tightly. When I opened them, Rachel was standing behind Alton, straining to hold his massive arm with both of hers. She was literally swinging on his arm with her feet off the ground. The muscles in his arm twitched and every vein he had was visible as he grappled with his conscience.
“Alton, please don’t do it. Don’t let her be the cause of you getting in trouble. I love you Alton, don’t let that happen.”
“Oh shut up Little Bible Betty!” I thought to myself, but I didn’t dare say it!
I could see the wheels turning in his head. Ultimately, he dropped his arm and his head. Rachel knelt down and held him as he sobbed in her arms. I’ve never seen another human being as mad as he was as he stood over me. He didn’t want to hurt me for anything in the world, but I had pushed him to that point. It made me crazy that she was the one consoling my man. After seeing all of the passion in his eyes, albeit angry passion, I knew I’d made a terrible mistake. I vowed then that I was going to get my man back by any means necessary.
Rachel
That insane woman knows no limits I swear. She pushed and pushed and pushed until poor Alton almost killed her. When I finally got him in the house he sat in a daze for an hour. When he did make another sound it was him crying.
“Alton, what’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry Rachel. I’m sorry you saw me lose control like that.”
“You and I both know there is evil all over that woman. The evil spirit has consumed her.”
“I never wanted to hurt her. I’ve been nothing but good to her.”
“It’s that evil spirit in her. If she doesn’t get a grip it’s going to eventually obliterate her. Elias has that same spirit in him. I swear looking at her was like looking a female version of him. I do have a confession to make.”
“What’s that baby?”
“I had to really debate whether or not to let you go and let her suffer the consequences. I thought maybe if you just beat the hell out of her one good time she’d learn a lesson. I saw your face and knew if you started, no one would have been able to stop you. Besides, I wasn’t going to risk you going to prison. What would I do?”
“The thing that bothers me is that I had every intention of beating her to death with my bare hands. I’ve never had thoughts like that about anyone.”
“Alton you are human. A person can be pushed only so damn far. Even a mild mannered person can be pushed to kill someone.”
“Rachel, I am glad you stepped in.”
“I am willing to bet she is gonna try to get you back.”
“There is no chance in hell I’ll get back with her. Right now I don’t ever want to see her again.”
No one could fault Alton for his actions. I’d only met Nadiah a few times, and each time she was out of control. One can only imagine what hell Alton went through with that woman for seven and a half years. It was finally time for Alton to see the good side of love. I was determined to show him nothing but that side.
About 6:00 P.M. we suddenly remembered that we’d been invited to his mother’s house for dinner.
“After all the drama I totally forgot. Maybe we’d better go. I don’t want to start off making your mother think I am trying to keep you away from the family or anything.”
“She wouldn’t think that way at all.”
We dressed in a hurry since we were already over an hour late. Of course I was paranoid about everything from my hair, to my dress, to whether or not I would mess up and say the wrong thing. Alton did his best to reassure me that all I needed to do was be myself.
Get Somebody New Page 16
