Harlot

by Tracie Podger

  “It’s not loaded,” he said, his voice even fainter than it was before.

  I threw it to the floor and only then, when I thought there was nothing we could do but die in that dungeon, I started to cry. Beau wrapped his good arm around me, leaving the rifle on the floor.

  A second later an explosion happened outside the door, it buckled but held, although the gap underneath was wider. Smoke poured into the room.

  “We’re going to die, aren’t we?” I said. He didn’t answer.

  The lights went out and we were plunged into darkness. Neither of us spoke, but I felt Beau’s arm tighten slightly around me. We sat in silence with just the crackle of a burning house for company. The room heated up, and I could feel sweat roll down my temple, the air became dense, and it was difficult to breathe. I wasn’t sure how much smoke was making its way into the room but knew with each breath I took in, my throat and lungs burned. The smell had become acrid. I didn’t sob or cry out, initially, but I let the tears roll down my cheeks and silently prayed. I felt Beau’s arm loosen until it fell from my shoulders. He slumped sideways, only then did I cry out loud. I curled into his side, wrapping my arms around him, spooning into his back and whispering to him.

  “Don’t leave me, Beau,” I said, over and over. He never replied.

  I closed my eyes, hoping death would find me soon and it would be painless. I tried hard not to recall the images of Damien and knew this was my punishment. I could only hope the smoke would overcome me first. I held on tightly to Beau, I didn’t know if he was alive or not but hoped that he could feel me, that he knew he wasn’t alone. I couldn’t hear him breathing, I didn’t feel his chest moving, and the blood seemed to have stopped flowing. I lost track of time and, eventually, I slipped into unconsciousness.

  I didn’t know if I was dreaming, if I was dead or alive. I felt someone lift me but I couldn’t open my eyes. I heard distant voices but could not work out what was being said. I thought I saw brightness behind my eyelids and a woman’s voice. I wanted to call out to my grandmother, I was sure it was her. Something was placed over my face, the air that I breathed in, or thought I was breathing in, felt fresh and clean, cold and with a slight earthy taste. Then it was all gone again, the darkness consumed me. I welcomed it.

  “Charlotte, can you open your eyes for me?”

  I’d heard voices earlier, or maybe it was a while ago. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I wanted to sleep some more.

  “Charlotte?”

  Fingers pried at my eyelids, and I fought against them. I think I groaned, maybe I said a word. I felt something in my mouth, in my throat. I wanted to swallow and I couldn’t, it was in the way. I raised my hand to pull whatever it was from my mouth.

  “It’s okay, don’t panic now. We’re going to take this out,” I heard.

  The obstruction in my throat was removed and it was replaced with soreness. Every breath I took scratched.

  Beau. I wasn’t sure if I spoke the word, or thought it. I missed him already.

  “She’s doing well.”

  Who was? Me? But I was dead, wasn’t I? Sparks of light would dance just out of reach, voices would float around but they were nothing more than a hum in the background. There was a constant beep and it began to annoy me. I wanted silence, nothing but silence and stillness. I hurt; with every breath I took my chest ached. I wanted the breathing to stop.

  For periods of time I’d get my wish, all was quiet and calmness would wash over me. Until one day.

  “Charlotte, I really need you to open your eyes, sweetie.” It was her voice again, my grandmother’s.

  It was a man’s voice that finally broke through the fog in my mind. “Rose, you’ve been here all night. Let’s get some rest,” he said.

  Rose? Rose!

  I tried to move my head. I strained against the stickiness that held my eyelids closed until eventually a sliver of light, so bright it hurt, penetrated through the small gap.

  “She waking, call the doctor,” Rose said.

  I followed the sound of her voice.

  “Sweetie, don’t try to move. We’re calling the doctor.”

  I grunted out a sound, I didn’t seem to be able to form words.

  “Don’t speak, your throat is so burned.”

  Fire. There had been a fire. Beau. Beau had been with me. Panic started to rise inside, and I felt my legs thrash against the bed I realized I was lying on.

  “Doctor!” she called out.

  “Hey, Charlotte, can you open your eyes for me?” Why did they ask that? I was trying, couldn’t they see that?

  I managed to get one eye open further than the other. Everything was a blur at first. Colors were bright, searing my eye. When I managed to open the other one, my vision became a little more focused. There was a person standing to one side of me. I turned away from him.

  “Rose?” I croaked out her name.

  “Don’t talk, sweetie. I’m here. Oh, God, sweetie. I’m here, Kieran is, too.” It seemed she found it hard to talk. Her voice broke on every word.

  I felt her hand on mine. I also felt her tears as they dripped onto my skin. I think I cried then. My vision blurred further and liquid ran down my temples.

  “Can you sip on this?” I heard. It was the man to my side. I felt something press against my lips and opened my mouth slightly. Something plastic and small was pushed in. I sucked, it hurt, but the cold water soothed the hurt away.

  People came and went, one minute there was brightness beyond my eyelids, the next it was dark. I would hear voices, and then it was quiet, save for the continuous beeping. The times I did manage to open my eyes, my vision was still blurred. Someone had said, or maybe they’d told me directly, I didn’t remember, that my eyes were irritated by smoke. My lungs and throat were damaged from smoke inhalation. It took a few days, however, for me to really understand and remember.

  “Let’s get you a little more comfortable, shall we?” a nurse said.

  I knew I was in the hospital, obviously, I just wasn’t sure how long I’d been there.

  “Do you know how Beau is?” I croaked out.

  “I don’t, honey. I’m sure your friends will be here soon.”

  She fussed around, tucking in the sheet and raising the back of the bed a little. I could still smell the acrid smoke of a burning house with all its contents, and with every painful breath I took in, a moment of fear washed over me.

  “There she is,” I heard. Rose came through the door. “Oh, sweetie, it's good to see you fully awake.”

  “How’s Beau?” I asked. She didn’t answer but did glance to the door. “Let’s talk about that later.”

  A sense of dread settled over me, it was weighted down with sadness. I closed my eyes, willing some tears for him and to lubricate my eyeballs.

  “What’s wrong with my eyes?”

  “It was the heat, and the smoke. Kieran will be here shortly. Is there anything he can get for you?”

  I shook my head, aware that she had diverted me. I felt so tired, it was an effort to breathe and I was grateful for the oxygen pipe sitting just under my nose. I reached for my cup of water and took a sip. Just the few words I’d spoken had hurt my throat.

  “We nearly lost you,” Rose whispered. It was the sadness, mixed with relief that finally caused those tears I’d longed for to fall.

  She reached over to take one of my hands in hers.

  “They tried to kill us,” I said, still none the wiser on who they were.

  “We know. There are people here to protect you, Charlotte. You’re not in danger here, you’re safe now.”

  I didn’t think I’d ever be safe. No matter where I ended up, trouble always found me. It was a horrible feeling, knowing I’d always be looking over my shoulder.

  Kieran came into the room, holding a bag aloft. “I got you some clothes, I don’t know if anything will fit, but you might be more comfortable in them.”

  I guessed everything I owned would have perished in the fire. The thought th
at my grandmother’s quilt was gone saddened me.

  “Where is Beau?” I asked him. He pulled a seat up close to the bed.

  “He’s gone, Charlotte.”

  I stared at him. “Gone?”

  “He survived. God, Kieran, you’ll give the girl a heart attack. He had surgery, a blood transfusion, but then he discharged himself. We don’t know where he is,” Rose said.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Neither do I. Although I think this man here knows more than he’s letting on.”

  “He called you, didn’t he?” I said. Kieran nodded.

  “I heard you scream, I knew where you were and I got there as quickly as I could. The whole house was ablaze, Charlotte. I’m surprised you survived.”

  “You knew exactly where we were?”

  He slowly nodded his head. I remembered Beau telling me that Kieran had been his commander, I think the word was. There was something in the way he looked at me, a pleading in his eyes to not push for information. His eyes flicked to Rose. It was a conversation for another day.

  It was another two weeks before the hospital discharged me, and that was only after I’d insisted, told them I had no money to pay so they might as well let me out as soon as possible. Kieran collected me and took me back to their house. I’d never visited their house before and was surprised by the size. Like Cecelia’s, it was Colonial style with a wraparound porch. He held my arm as we walked up the path and through the front door.

  “Sweetie, it’s so good to have you here. Now, I’ve set up a bedroom for you and we’ve bought some more clothes.” I’d traveled home in the pajamas Kieran had brought to the hospital.

  “Charlotte, you’re going to have to talk to the authorities at some point. We’ve kept them away for as long as we can.”

  “I can’t.” Panic rose at the thought of talking to the police.

  “I’m talking about the FBI. There is a guy called Corey Lowe, who is going to come visit. I know him, he can be trusted. I wouldn’t trust the local police, especially Cody to deal with this,” Kieran said.

  “Cody? Damien’s friend was called Cody.”

  Kieran looked at me. “Do you know his surname?”

  I told him and watched as he closed his eyes and sighed. Cody was obviously part of the ring they were watching. I realized then, the car I’d seen was a cop car.

  “What do you know, Kieran, about me?” I asked. My voice had changed pitch. I was told it would return to normal in time, but it still sounded strange to my ears.

  “Everything,” he whispered, glancing at Rose, who was making coffee to make sure she was out of earshot.

  “How long have you known everything?”

  “That’s a conversation for when we are alone, if that’s okay with you?”

  I nodded. I guessed he wanted to protect Rose from the gory details. “I’m really tired,” I said.

  “Let’s get you to bed,” Rose replied.

  She led me up a winding staircase to a bedroom at the back of the house. There was a large sash window that overlooked the fields at the rear, and I wondered if that was part of Cecelia’s land. The room was beautifully decorated in pastel, floral printed wallpaper and a matching quilt was draped over a large wooden bed.

  Rose opened a wardrobe to show me an array of clothes hanging on a rail and folded items on shelves.

  “I wasn’t sure what you’d like. Ellie helped me pick out some items, Kacy wanted to help also, but I didn’t think her taste was the same as yours. Everyone’s been so worried about you. It’s been a shock to the town, Charlotte.”

  “I need to pay you back but…” I didn’t have a cent to my name.

  “Listen,” she said, as she sat on the edge of the bed. “It seems that Cecelia wanted to take care of you, she left you some money. Beau has given all the details to Kieran. But even if she hadn’t, I wanted to do this. You’re important to us, Charlotte.”

  “But you’ve only know me for such a short time,” I said, sitting beside her.

  “I’ve know you a lot longer than you think. Not you, but girls like you. In a day or so, when you’re settled, I’ll tell you about this town, and about some of its people.”

  I wondered exactly what the fuck I’d stumbled into when I was driven into this town.

  “I think you’ve been bombarded with so much information, Charlotte. And I’m sorry that we didn’t tell you enough to keep you safe, but Richard showing an interest in you surprised us all. We’re not sure why just yet.”

  “But you knew what he was, and Paul, didn’t you?” She was the last person I wanted to make feel bad, and a wave of guilt washed over me at the look of sadness on her face.

  “It will all make sense when you understand where you are. Now, let’s get you out of those pajamas and into a fresh pair.”

  Rose fussed; she opened the drawer of the unit and pulled out a matching top and bottoms. She helped me wiggled out of what I wore and tactfully averted her gaze at my nakedness.

  “There’s a bathroom next door, just for you. I’ve placed some toiletries and a gown in there for when you want to shower.”

  Despite being washed in the hospital, I could still smell smoke in my hair and on my skin. A long shower would be most welcomed. First, I needed to sleep. My head had started to pound. I had been told in the hospital I might suffer the odd headache for a while. I climbed under the quilt and sank into the mattress. The pillow was like placing my head on a cloud, it was that soft. I vaguely remember Rose picking up my dirty pajamas, maybe she spoke to me before she closed the door, but that was it.

  When I woke, the sun was setting over the horizon, throwing red and orange hues over the rich brown turned earth. As a child I’d watch the sun set, right until that last minute when I believed it waved at me. Just as the sun dipped out of sight, and, obviously it was an illusion, I’d see tiny flame-like arms. I’d wave back, bidding the sun a good night.

  I pushed back the quilt and swung my legs from the bed. I pulled open a drawer to the unit and found a pair of fluffy socks that I didn’t recognize. Once I’d pulled them on, I ventured downstairs. Rose was sitting in her kitchen, reading a newspaper.

  “Hey there, did you sleep well? You’ve been out for the count for hours.”

  “I did, I can’t believe how comfortable that bed is.”

  “I got some new linen but I had that bed as a young girl. They don’t make them like that anymore; everything is so disposable nowadays. Here, take a seat. Now, I bet Cecelia had you hooked on tea, so how about I make some?”

  I wasn’t sure I was hooked on it, but it did make a refreshing change from coffee. What with the sleep I’d had, still feeling tired, and the headache, I didn’t want to add strong caffeine to my system as well.

  “Tea would be lovely,” I said.

  “I’ve made some soup and bread for dinner, I didn’t think you’d want anything too heavy, just yet. It will just be us for dinner, Kieran is away for a couple of days.”

  Her comment surprised me; I couldn’t recall a time when he’d taken a day off at the diner.

  “What about the diner?”

  “Kacy is covering your shift right now. We decided to close in the evenings for a little while; we do that in the winter anyway. We don’t get the customers on chilly nights to warrant staying open.”

  “Who’s cooking?”

  “Jack, he’s a college kid looking for some extra income. He’s been with us on and off for a couple of years, although not the past couple of months. He decided to do some traveling but now he’s back, just in time for us, thankfully.”

  “I guess the patrons will be pleased not to have to endure Kieran’s experiments,” I said, trying not to laugh in case it hurt my throat.

  Rose chuckled as she ladled some soup into a bowl. The smell of leek and potato made my mouth water. We sat side by side at her kitchen island and ate. I tore off a chunk of bread and dipped it in my soup.

  “This is delicious,” I said.

 
“Soup. Heals the soul, my mom used to say.”

  “Kieran said I had to speak to some guy from the FBI. Do I really have to?”

  “I’m afraid so, but you don’t need to be afraid about this guy. He comes with Kieran’s seal of approval.”

  “I don’t want to talk to the sheriff.” I wasn’t sure what Rose knew, so tried to approach the subject delicately.

  “Sweetie, what happened to you is way above his rank anyway. And no, we wouldn’t let you speak with him. Cody, Paul, and Richard are the people we watch, very closely.”

  “So you know about them?”

  She laid down her spoon. “Remember when I said I’ve known you longer than you realize? Maybe it’s time we had that chat.”

  She turned slightly in her chair.

  “I was in a convent, Charlotte. Except this convent wasn’t a conventional one, not that I was aware of that, of course. It was run by a Father Samuel, Richard’s father. The purpose of this convent was to farm out children to families to use and abuse. Some of us managed to get out in later life, some didn’t. Some are so indoctrinated there is no hope for them. And some were killed. Corey, the FBI guy? He’s been on the trail of a cult for years. That convent, that Father, was the start of a religious cult. I’m talking many, many years ago now.”

  “When did you get out, and how?”

  “Oh, I was early teens, I think. I was told I was an orphan, I’m not entirely sure that was true, when I entered the convent. I was there for a couple of years until I was placed with a family. Sister Anna was in charge of those placements. Except the families were all part of the cult. They did terrible things to children, Charlotte. Things I won’t speak of right now, I don’t think you’re ready to hear it.”

  “I know, Beau told me a little.”

  “Beau,” she sighed when she spoke his name. “Vigilante Beau. He’s a good person, Charlotte, and I’m pretty sure, although I don’t ask, he and Kieran worked, maybe still work, together. Anyway, Father Samuel was murdered a little while ago. One of his sons committed suicide, leaving Richard, another of his sons, and he has many, in charge. Richard wasn’t satisfied with just abusing young girls, and he’d long since let go of the Father’s belief in divine children. He got involved in drugs, in trafficking young women, lies, fraud, blackmail, you name it, he’s involved.”