by Shen Hart
I wandered out onto the deck outside the French windows and sat looking into the wild flowers that filled the majority of the garden. Tall grasses stood between a wide array of brightly coloured, spindly flowers that stretched upwards, hoping for more sunlight. The trees swayed softly in the breeze. The rustling of the leaves had a calming effect on me. It was peaceful and therapeutic. I enjoyed my time in the city, but the constant noise and presence was abrasive and wore me down over time. The trees and the soft breeze were whispers from home. They didn’t honk or squeal. It was a pure symphony of nature that worked to put me at ease.
Talking had finally started again inside, which made my eyes damp again; I didn't fit, and I didn't want to. They had formed their tight-knit little group and closed ranks. I was firmly outside of that circle. The cubs had no respect for me, and Alex wasn’t particularly amused to have me around, either. He stepped up and took control of the situations rather than giving me a chance to do so. I lay back on the deck and mentally kicked myself. I was past those foolish days of self-pity; I had a job to do. I focused on my surroundings and drove away the pity. It was to be expected. It wouldn’t be easy, and I’d never been one to choose the easy route.
I focused on the stars painted on the dark blue canvas of the night sky with the moon almost at its zenith. It was a beautiful sight that I hadn't been able to enjoy for a long time. Wandering from city to city was fantastic for following the traders and securing deals, but it didn’t allow me any contact with the night sky. It was shaded and hidden by the streetlights and tall buildings. I lost track of time as thoughts wandered from my mind and I just existed, at peace.
7
The following few days were more of the same. The cubs stayed in their section of the house and I in mine. I slept quite a bit and allowed my muscles and bones to recover properly while I gathered my thoughts and tried not to dwell on the past. Alex flitted in and out of my vision, but he left me alone most of the time. On the third night, the cubs were beginning to relax and adjust to their surroundings, their jaws were starting to unclench, and the contempt was shifting from their face when they looked at me.
Ryan said between bites of steak, "What’s the story here, then?"
He seemed to aim it at both Alex and I as he kept looking between us. He lowered his eyes and hunched his shoulders a little bit, clearly regretting asking. The corner of my mouth lifted in consideration of the smile as the jaguar preened at the fear. I pushed it back. That was not how my packs functioned.
Alex looked to me and his hand moved a little closer to mine before he caught himself and turned to Ryan again. "How do you mean?"
Ryan relaxed and allowed the breath he'd been holding to escape. "Well, I mean, who are you? How did you end up... here? You’re my alphas, but I’m left in the dark about who or even what you are. I don’t know anything about your past, your future, nothing."
Alex nodded and looked down at the final bite of steak for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. I eyed it and wondered if I could get away with stealing it, but given I hadn’t finished my own, I left his alone.
"I have been known by many names. I’ve taken many titles and roles over my time. It would take too long to tell you everything. How I ended up here is an equally long story,” he said wistfully before he hardened, becoming indifferent. “To summarise, I am an agent of the Wyrd Sisters. My income comes from investments and the stock exchange.”
He smiled broadly and said, "And what of you?"
Ryan stretched and leaned back in his chair. "I've been around. I did the usual things here and there; some security, I considered being a merc for a little while. I even worked in a shop and had a cushy office job at one point, heh. I’ve been all over this country and a few more, too. I guess I keep getting itchy feet. "
At least he had some idea of how to handle himself and how things worked, then. It wasn't exactly ideal, but it was something. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the wanderlust, but I’d have to just see how it went.
I said, "Dan, Nik, what about you? What're your stories?"
Nik smiled. "There’s something therapeutic about working with my hands, I enjoy feeling the wood and metal. The tactile sensations are soothing, as is the malleability and freedom to create something new. I got my start in wood but I moved into ironmongery and found it more enjoyable. There’s something pleasurable in carving something from raw materials, don’t you think?"
I offered a small smile and simply nodded in acknowledgement. There was indeed something pleasurable in forming something new from raw materials, but I preferred working with sentient beings.
Dan gave me a predatory grin. "I was a trader on the black market. My specialisation was... unusual items. There’s far more satisfaction in the higher value and less obtainable things in life. Of course there’s always the thrill from taking those risks and courting the darker side of life, too."
I couldn't help but curl my lip and utter a quiet growl at the connotations he was presenting. I wondered if he knew of me from his past. I'd screwed over quite a few traders in my time.
He finished with, "Don't worry, nothing relating to our kind."
I leaned forwards and looked directly into his eyes. "And what exactly is your kind, Dan?"
He was taken aback from a moment. He looked around him before he settled back on me. "The same as yours."
I laughed heartily. "Oh, I very much doubt that."
His forehead creased as he looked down to the table and back. "I’m a tri-shifter. There are plenty of derogatory terms for our kind. Personally, I prefer tri-shifter. I have Wolf, Cougar, and Fox within me."
I tilted my head and pursed my lips before I extended my energies and felt out his own. He didn't have much control over them. His warm energies fluctuated around him, tendrils flickering and constantly dancing. The three parts of him were clearly visible, as he had said. I hadn't met another before. It was a curious thing. I shrugged. It was bound to happen at some point. We weren't meant to be unique.
I nodded at Dan and simply said, "So you are. We are not the same, nor will we ever be."
Alex cut through the tension and said, “I am a familial shifter. As I’m sure you’re all aware, that means that I can take on the form of any creature, or mix of creatures, within one genetic genus. In my case that genus is Canis. If anyone has a problem with that, you’ll have to deal with it swiftly, else I’ll deal with it for you.”
The boys all lowered their eyes and looked away. The corner of my lip twitched a little in consideration of a smile. We were a mixed group. That, at least, would make things a little interesting.
Once the moment had passed, Dan sighed and nodded before tidying up the plates. I felt the jaguar pacing within me. I needed a release, some way to vent. Hunting was out of the question. I wasn't ready to trust the pack, and hunting alone in an unfamiliar territory was too risky. There were plenty of humans who would shoot a jaguar or a wolf should they see one out. Then, of course, there were those who hunted, or tried to hunt, shifters. I wasn’t willing to take that risk.
My little plan formed so easily while I was gazing out into the garden, as had become my custom after meals. The cubs were off doing some training in another part of the house, and I was in no mood for company. It wasn't grand or even a huge risk, but it would make me feel better, and in that moment, that was what mattered. I curled up in my nest feeling a little better that night. My sleep was dreamless, and I was grateful for it. I wasn't ready to deal with my subconscious and its bitchy little messages.
**
I ate my meat-heavy breakfast with relish before I strode out of the front door and to my car. I remained tense and slightly jumpy. I kept expecting to find Alex’s hand on my shoulder at any point, but it didn't happen. I wondered if maybe he trusted me after all. I shrugged it off and gave the raven control. The two predators were pacing and driving me mad, but they would have to wait. The raven I could sate and enjoy the sweet tang of peace with. I realised that I'd been in my ow
n little world trying to temper the snarls of the jaguar and the wolf within my mind when I found myself parking the car. I looked around and smiled. I was in the heart of the closest large town, and I was ready to have a bit of fun. I was preparing to engage in an activity that brought me great pleasure and would allow me to vent from all of the stress.
The two predators love hunting, the jaguar particularly enjoys feeling fear in others, but the raven is far more about peace, exploration, and shiny things. There was one thing that both the jaguar and the raven loved, and that was thieving. The jaguar was finally content enough to remain reasonably quiet in the back of my mind so that the raven could have its fun. I couldn't help myself. I adored the thrill as I walked out of the shop or away from the person knowing that I had taken something that I shouldn't have. I needed to escape from the confines of the pack, that house, and partake in the pleasures of thieving. It would give my mind some peace.
I had enjoyed swindling traders for the same reason that I stole shinies, but thieving had more instant gratification. With that all firmly in mind and a huge grin fighting to claim my lips, I walked into the store. There was no more pack, no more stress, just the potential shinies. The store wasn't too big and had a range of things to grab my attention. Clothing was the primary focus and took up the most floor space, but there was some jewellery, a few perfumes and other little trinkets. Oh, how the raven loved trinkets.
I had to fight to stop myself from hopping from foot to foot as I stood for a moment and looked around the store. I had to decide how I was going about it. I had, of course, brought my largest bag with me. A shiny thing caught my eye, and I made myself walk slowly and calmly over to a collection of pearl bracelets. They weren't really my style, but I couldn't help running my fingers over the smooth pearls and watching the way the light moved over them like a pale cream oil slick, various shades shifting and moving. I was captivated; for a moment, anyway. Then it was gone, on to the next thing. A pitch-black silk top quickly grabbed me; it shone deep blue in the light, reminding me of the feathers I desperately wanted to shift. I felt my eyes changing and the familiar painful itch of a couple of feathers down my spine as I looked the top over. I took a deep breath and settled myself. No shifting, especially in public. The top had thin straps and draped itself over the wearer's body, showing every curve without clinging too tightly. I had to have it. So I did.
Part of me felt a little sorry for the store, but that part didn't shout very loudly. I was careful not to take too much, and the shinies helped me. I'd stolen enough things over a long enough period that I didn't worry about being caught, and even if I did, I'd talk my way out of it. I was careful, but far from worried. The jaguar leapt forward for a moment when I caught the scent of a perfume. It was even called Felis. It smelt slightly musky, with a jasmine note buried deep in the heart and a sweet vanilla touch in the opening. That one almost got me in some trouble. A man looked at me just as I finished slipping it into my bag. I smiled at him and looked down and away coyly before slipping away. As much as I wanted to explore more shinies, there was no point in taking a foolish risk. I reminded myself that I had plenty of new things to admire and the final thrill would still be deeply satisfying. A calm sense of peace washed over me, taking away my stresses and worries about the pack and the situation. The raven was happy.
My heart skipped a beat and a grin tore at the corners of my mouth when I walked out of the store. That familiar shiver of excitement skittered down my spine as I tried not to laugh with glee at the pleasure and thrill the experience brought me. It was addictive, but I knew better than to give in to those cravings, those desires. Those needs. I took a deep breath and smiled to myself. Everything was looking up. That was, until I turned to head to my car and she stopped me. I pouted and crossed my arms about to make a quip before I reminded myself that I was in public. The tall blonde in her white pencil skirt and tailored white blouse smiled at me innocently.
"You shouldn't do that you know..."
I wasn't entirely sure if she meant pout or steal, and I didn't bother asking. She grinned and pulled me into a tight hug. I resisted the strong urge to bite her neck and made a show of hugging her back and smiling. I had to think about those around us, after all, and she damn well knew it. I cursed her under my breath. I swear her smile got bigger.
"I've missed you, Thalia. Here, I have a little something for you."
She handed me a crisp white envelope and a pearlescent box. "Open them when you get home, I'm sure you'll enjoy them. I am sorry, though, but I must dash, see you soon!"
I nodded and ran my fingers over the envelope subconsciously as I said, "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll catch up soon, take care!"
The false cheer and familiarity sounded tinny in my ears. It almost pained me to have to act friendly with her. She was my least favourite and the most bitchy of the Sisters, which made things much worse. She turned on her stiletto heels and walked away. I cursed her under my breath again, just for good measure. I couldn't help being curious about the box. They hadn't handed me anything like that before. My focus quickly shifted from her and her clacking stilettos and curve-hugging outfit to the box. All three aspects were hopping around, desperate to open it, but I restrained myself. I kept running my fingers over the firm, smooth, almost marble texture of the box as I walked back to my car where I carefully placed both on the passenger seat. The box occupied my mind, but the familiar internal grumbling still resonated when I reminded myself that there was an envelope as well, which meant there was a task.
Back when I first began my dealings with the Wyrd Sisters, when everything was new, shiny, and saving the world, I called them missions. Over time, over lives, my views on the entire thing degraded. At that point they were just tasks. My mind kept skipping around while I drove. I wondered what was in the box and went back and forth over whether it would be a good thing or a bad thing. I found my fingers kept slipping back over its smooth surface while I was driving, before I had to snatch the steering wheel and make it around a corner. I didn't stay on my side of the road for the entire journey, but I didn't hit anyone either, so I considered it a success, overall. I parked back in what I'd claimed as my spot on the driveway in front of the house. I tried to remind myself that it was home, but that word and concept refused to sit right with me. It was the house, the place where my comfortable bed was.
I allowed myself a little time to find peace and calm. This was going to be a big moment, whether I wanted it to be or not. I had no choice but to accept who and what I was, my role in things. I wasn’t even close to ready, but I had to try. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and allowed the wolf forward. It wasn't often that I had the wolf at the front, but given the males were all canine of one shade or another and I had to pull them together for the task, it had to be done. My life had changed, again. I had to do my best to accept that, to embrace it and to make the most of what I had. I found myself holding my head higher. My back stiffened, and my lips pulled back from my teeth a little. I was as ready as I could be.
I slipped the box into my bag. There was no reason to allow the cubs near my box. I walked slowly over to the front door, keeping my ears pricked just in case. I tried not to snarl when Dan met me at the door. He’d startled me, but it wasn't his fault. There was no use reprimanding simple things. He didn't do anything wrong. He stepped back and held the door for me as I walked in. His dark blue eyes shifted slightly, showing amber in response to my own wolf. I gave him a toothy smile and kept the eye-contact for a moment before walking into the living room. It was my moment, but I didn’t want to claim it.
Alex lifted his chin and looked down at me. "Where did you go? You know we can’t afford to take risks."
He couldn't keep the slight worry from his voice, poor thing. I shrugged and held out the envelope. It was none of his business where I chose to roam. I could have taken centre stage and made a big thing of it, but that would mean truly acknowledging things, taking the blame for what was to come. I wasn’t going to
do that.
"I bumped into one of the Sisters. It looks like we've been given the first task."
Alex closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger while his coyote aspect rippled through his energies. He opened his eyes showing pale green mixed in with the usual ice blue. He couldn't help responding to my own wolf side. It was interesting that he settled into his coyote aspect, though. That was a change from the old days.
"Have you opened it?"
The cubs were starting to crowd around us. Their tails were practically wagging with anticipation. I bared my teeth at Nik and Ryan. They lowered their eyes and took a step back. They needed to learn respect. Alex slipped his finger under the flap of the envelope and opened it without any damage. He was always so meticulous, a perfectionist. It contained a single piece of heavy white paper with pitch-black script-type writing on it. How very them.
Alex cleared his throat and said, "We're leaving for Overdark in three days. There's been a spate of murders there. We're putting a stop to them. It’s not quite like the old days, but hopefully it’ll be an easy start, given our situation."
I looked at the cubs. That meant I had three days to form some semblance of a bond with them. Fantastic. At least it was just stopping a murder. There were worse things for a disjointed, untrained pack. They were grinning and bouncing around.
Nik said, "Do we solve murders? We weren’t actually told quite what we do. I was under the impression we did something… else. Who are the targets?"
