by Shen Hart
Alex simply said, "Sirens. We'll know more when we get there."
His lips were pulled tight, and the tension was clear through his shoulders. He was handling it worse than I was. The cubs were practically bubbling over with questions as they grinned at each other. Alex and I left them to their bouncing and retired to our room. We needed quiet time to figure things out.
8
I dropped my bag on my bed and sat down on the corner while Alex paced around the room. He’d shifted his full reddish-tan and grey coyote ears. They were fully pricked and looked slightly off poking out the top of his thick black hair. Black claws protruded from his fingertips as he paced. I raised an eyebrow and watched him as my own wolf claws extended and ears shifted in response. I hadn't seen him lose control before. That was what he had been known for: his complete, absolute control. It was another reminder of how much had changed, of what I'd lost. The passage of time was a bitch. After a couple of minutes, he took a deep breath and sat on the floor with his legs stretched out before him, leaning back on his hands. His usually ice-blue eyes still maintained the pale green hints, and his ears stood alert and pointed directly at me.
He opened with, "So, where were you?"
I pulled my lips back baring my extended canines at him as I dug my fingers down into the bedding.
"Do not start that, Alex."
He looked from my bag back to me again.
"We don't have time to be dealing with law enforcement. We can't afford for you to slip up. You can’t just think about yourself now."
His cool, calm tone was in direct contrast with his hard glare and tightened muscles. I was far from happy about his accusations and implications. How dare he put this on me! It was hardly my fault the damn Sister showed up and handed me the task. She would have appeared before long anyway. He knew that. He maintained the hard eye contact for a couple more minutes before he finally looked away with a sigh.
"We have three days to pull this pack into shape, and you've shown no sign of even attempting integration. You know how a pack should work, you know the trust and bonds we need in place."
My eyes began roaming down his neck and paused on his throat before they travelled down his torso. I licked my teeth and considered that given his position in comparison to mine, I could pounce on him and sink my teeth into his neck before he could stand.
I growled quietly, "I was pulled from my life and dropped into this shit. Do not blame me. Do not go there."
He gave a small nod and made a show of relaxing his shoulders and easing the eye-contact. I reciprocated. We didn't have time to fight amongst ourselves, but the fact remained that I had not had the time I needed to do what I needed to do. The Wyrd Sisters were screwing us over, again.
"We have to be a united front, as alphas, so that we can pull this pack together." I gritted my teeth and flexed my fingers as I said it.
He simply nodded and said, "Of course."
I sighed and lay back on the bed, trying to remove the images of blood and pain from my mind. "And how are we going to do it?"
I heard him stand before he said, "We have a large garden. We'll let off some steam. The tension in this house is grating on everyone and making things much worse."
I looked up at him. "What exactly are you suggesting here...?"
My mind flitted between a wide range of options. The corner of his mouth lifted in something of a smile.
"We all shift and see what happens. Worst case scenario, a fight breaks out; then, we can put them in their place."
I didn't feel fantastic about the plan, but what choice did we have? Shifting together and remaining the enclosed, private space would allow everyone to vent. The cubs would feel some freedom, and thus reward from us for good behaviour, not that I felt they deserved it. The act of the shift is intimate, so it would show trust and allow the foundations of bonds to form. I ran it all through my mind, trying to poke holes in it. I failed. Shifting it was, then.
I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt the exhilaration and freedom of the shift. Having led the life I had, I hadn't dared risk it in many years. I found myself grinning with my jaw elongating. I pulled myself back under control and mentally put the wolf back on its lead. Alex appeared to be going through a similar experience as I watched his facial structure begin to change before it returned to the usual human state. He went to offer me his hand to help me stand, but quickly thought better of it and walked out of the room. I frowned and pushed back the memories and flood of emotions before allowing the wolf more control again. I reminded myself that there would be a time to confront those memories, and that wasn't it. I fought the wolf on the short walk to the door, restraining the shift and reminding myself that there would be no hunting. By the time I'd reached the kitchen, I had settled my breathing and pulled my energies down tight around me; there was never a good moment to lose control.
Alex smiled at me and tilted his head just a little. I returned the smile and looked at the three cubs who stood looking between us with a mix of confusion and expectation. "Tonight, boys, we enjoy our wolf forms. In the garden only!"
They had not learned quite such control. They burst into yips and howls of joy. I shook my head and reminded myself that there were no neighbours and, well, it was a fantastic moment. They ran out into the garden and wasted no time in shifting, Alex and I followed closely behind them watching their antics before we finally shifted ourselves. I was glad that the garden, as I referred to it, was a few acres in size, which gave us plenty of room to run and play.
I felt odd and self-conscious, which was a new sensation. I remembered the pride I used to have when I shifted. It felt almost dirty in that moment, something I had to hide, and that was not a feeling I took any pleasure in. I shook myself off. It was a normal action to brush away the feeling of transition and, in my case, to throw off the self-conscious ridiculousness. The cubs paused and looked at us, tongues lolling. Nik's large timber wolf form was a dark slate grey with black points and a heavy set build; he went down into a play bow to Alex. A slight shiver went down my spine when I saw Alex's pale grey timber wolf form, with his long legs and more athletic form. That harboured a lot of memories. Ryan's wolf form was closer to a tan and grey, smaller than Nik's but leggier, whereas Dan was on the shorter, stockier side with his pure black form. I felt completely out of place in my small, leggy, rangy red wolf form. It was an entirely different species to theirs; a less common one.
I put my head high and shrugged off the apprehensions and foolish thoughts. They were my pack, I was their alpha. I was also finally in my wolf form after such a long time. A slight breeze brushed through my fur. The wide range of scents surrounded me and told me multiple stories at once. Ryan and Dan quickly went down into play bows themselves, their chins almost on the ground and their tails high in the air. I couldn't resist and saw no reason to try. I bounced forwards and landed on Ryan's front paws before spinning and running away. It wasn't time for doubt, pride, or other such destructive thoughts, it was a time for play, pleasure, and freedom. The males all gave chase, yipping and barking with glee. We raced around the garden, ducking and diving through the wild flowers. The warm, soft soil beneath my paws felt amazing. Everyone played both the prey and hunting roles, and we all ended up play fighting. Alex and I made sure the cubs didn't get too rough and delivered some sharp bites to ears, snouts, and hind-quarters as reminders, but by the end we all sprawled out under the stars together. We were all panting, our sides heaving as we looked upwards, contented and settled for the first time since we'd met. It wasn't perfect, we weren't a pack, but it was something.
A sense of belonging began to emerge. It was something I'd forgotten the feeling of. The satisfaction of exhaustion settled over me as I took quiet pleasure in being surrounded by the familiar musk and dirt scents of lupine play. I almost went to thank the Sisters for giving me the thing I had craved for so long, but I stopped myself. They were screwing me over. They always did. I rolled around on the cool grass enjoying th
e feeling of my muscles releasing and the itches I couldn't reach being scratched. The boys did similar things around me, their presence close to mine offering a comfort I didn't think I'd have. I stood and looked them over, my rag-tag bunch, my pack. Alex sat with his mouth slightly open and his ears in the relaxed but alert position, it was the happiest I'd seen him since we'd been thrown back together. The cubs were all lying with their tongues hanging out. A quiet feeling of contentment hung about them. I stretched and wandered inside. I looked over my shoulder to find the males all following without complaint. We each shifted back to our human forms and stretched again, feeling our bones and muscles slip back into their proper positions. I sighed and smiled as I looked around them before saying goodnight.
The cubs each lowered their eyes and returned the well wishes. Alex simply smiled. We'd made far better progress than I'd expected. There was a long way to go, but at least the stress had been diffused and a step had been taken in the right direction.
I was left with a calm peace as I ascended the stairs back to my comfortable nest. Alex followed close behind and left me be when I sat on the bed. He went into our bathroom, and my attention was soon devoted to my bag and the shinies contained within. I carefully pulled out each stolen item, holding it up to the light and admiring it before placing it down in its newly assigned home. I rolled the pearl bracelet around the palm of my hand for a couple of moments before I tucked it away in a drawer. I was almost disappointed when I went to put my bag away, but the weight within it reminded me that there was one last wonderful shiny. Something unexplored and incredibly curious. Alex was still in the bathroom. I could hear the water running, which meant that I was alone to run my fingertips over the box. The anticipation was delightful. Small shivers ran through my fingertips as I took my time savouring the moment, the build-up. I pulled the lid off the box slowly and was greeted with a note on the same heavy, white paper that the task had been written on. Just a reminder of your place in things.
I felt my brow furrow as confusion filled me. What on Earth...
I removed the note and was greeted by an elegant, fine, pale silver (verging on white) choker. It had three small feathers at the front: one in ice blue, another in emerald green, and the final in blood red. I snarled to myself and debated throwing the box at the wall. I couldn't quite explain the feeling, but I knew it was from them; a weight within my mind and much deeper. A sense that I would wear that choker flooded me. I tried to fight it, but I couldn't. It was like a crushing physical weight, a need that my hands almost tried to fulfil against my will. I sighed and put the choker around my throat. I cursed and snarled under my breath the entire time before tucking the pretty little box away in another drawer and curling up in a small ball in my nest. I muttered to myself about the Sisters and their nerve, their ego, to mark me in such a way. How dare they act as though I was some unruly pet! I didn't notice Alex emerge. I had curled up and tucked my wolf tail around me while I muttered and cursed under my breath. I wondered if I could enact revenge on them and free myself of the mantle I carried, but I knew that was absurd and would never happen. Alex's cool energies fluctuated on the periphery of my senses and dragged me from my plans and cursing. I closed my eyes and allowed the wolf to curl up in the back of my mind and the jaguar to stride forward.
I stretched and shook myself off. I felt vile and dirty. I needed a long, hot shower to clean my body and clear my mind. I flashed Alex a predatory smile. It was meant as some semblance of reassurance, more out of habit than any real desire to ease him. He stood in nothing but a towel. I paid him no attention and just tried to settle my energies down around me as they were flicking in the same manner as my tail. He had his arms loosely crossed and a look of confusion sat on his face. His eyes flashed when they settled on the choker, but he simply turned away and got into his bed without a word. I was glad that he knew better than to try and prise the information from me. I strode into the bathroom and shed my clothing before stepping into the shower and allowing the scalding hot water to wash away the stress along with the dirt. A clean jaguar was a happy jaguar.
9
The frustration and irritation was still firmly in the front of my mind when I awoke the next morning. I spent longer than usual stretching out my muscles and trying to clear my mind. I focused on the contentment from the previous night and the freedom of the play. I had a couple of days to try and form some bonds with the cubs. Alex tilted his head and sat on the corner of my bed as I lay on my back wriggling and stretching. I stopped and looked up at him, my tail twitching at my side. He couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face. His tongue slipped out between his lips and ran along them.
"I see you went in search of new shinies yesterday."
I pouted and waited for the reprimand. Instead his hand moved to rest on my shoulder.
"We are alphas together. You're not doing this alone. If you need help, then come to me rather than risking getting the pack in trouble."
With that, he stood and headed downstairs. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the flood of happiness that accompanied his scent and kept a firm hold on that feeling and memory as I walked down the stairs. The Sisters were not going to ruin this. I was better than that. I was better than them.
Breakfast was more lively than usual. Conversation passed between the boys with ease, and everyone was far more relaxed than usual. I tried to look for openings to join in the conversation, but found none. A desire to walk away tugged at me, but I refused to give in.
Eventually Dan said, “That’s a very pretty necklace you’re wearing. Would I be correct in saying that some complex energy weaving went into the making of it?”
His eyes had that mischievous twinkle that I didn’t appreciate in the slightest. Nik jumped on the new topic. “It is a beautiful piece. The craftsmanship on the metal is stunning, particularly given how fine it is. Where did you get it? I’d love to talk to whoever made it, I bet they have a wealth of experience and knowledge to share.”
I tried to keep a calm smile on my face and refused to look at Alex, who was smiling at my squirming. “It’s just something I picked up off a little stall somewhere. Nothing special, I’m afraid.”
Nik seemed particularly disappointed and Dan opened his mouth to continue his line of enquiry but I cut him off with, "You're going to show me what you can do."
It wasn't perfect, but I was painfully aware of being out of practise. I felt out of my depth, and I didn't relish that feeling at all. I flashed them all what I hoped was a confident and calm smile. They looked between each other before they grinned. Ryan spoke up "What do you mean, we’re going to show you what we can do? Are you going to have us performing circus tricks, or…?"
I shrugged. "I assume you can all fight..."
Their faces lit up. Ryan said, "Well that depends on the type of fighting you mean. All self-respecting male shifters, particularly the, ahem, better types such as wolves, can fight in one form or another. Are you talking bare-knuckle boxing? Good old-fashioned blades?”
Ryan’s questions amused me, but not enough to give much weight to. He was over-eager and taking away from my idea and point. “Hand to hand sparring. Nothing too heavy, as we can’t afford to be broken right before we start this task.”
Dan's eyes darkened and he crossed his arms across his chest. He didn't say a word, but the confidence was written across his face. Alex gave me a small nod and smile. I saw no reason to continue standing around and walked out to the garden. It wasn't perfect, but it was an open space. They weren't going to fight in ideal conditions in real life, so I saw no reason to concern myself with them then. It had been a long time since I'd lost a fight, and I knew that I couldn't lose this one. It would jeopardise my position.
I slipped into my opening stance without any thought. "Human form only. Energies come later."
They looked around at each other. Nik said, “All of us? All of us at once? Against you?”
I sighed, "Well, I wouldn't want to beat you too badly. We do ha
ve a task to fulfil."
I took a long deep breath and centered myself. It wasn't going to be an easy fight. They were all bigger than me, but I had a point to prove. I needed to get their respect, and this was the best way to do it. They looked at each other before shrugging and forming a loose semi-circle around me. Nik took point standing directly in front of me, while Dan was on my left and Ryan was on my right. All of them moved to be side on and lowered their weight enough to give them a good footing and point to move from. I took another breath and cleared my mind. There is no room for thoughts in fighting. Thinking slows you down, and that could then be the end of you. I gave the jaguar almost full rein, enough for the strong instincts to kick in and do what needed to be done.
Nik glanced at Dan before he began the proceedings. Alex had settled himself down on the grass and was watching with mild amusement. I had no doubt that he had already put the cubs through their paces. He had proven himself. Nik's large fist hurtled at my head, a bold and brash opening move, but he was trying. I twisted away just enough to feel the breeze of the movement without losing sight of the other two. Nik shifted his balance as he struck at me, enough to bring me to kick him in the lower ribs. That exposed my balancing knee to Dan and gave him a potential opening, a bold move on my part, but I had to be. Then things began proper.
Dan was particularly aggressive and tried to keep moving behind me, thus distracting me and stopping me from gaining a heavy footing and grounding. He depended on brute strength, determination, and a complete lack of regard for personal safety. That had its advantages, but it wasn’t good for every fight. Nik was far more blunt and used his size, whereas Ryan moved and learned. My instincts took over completely. I felt their strikes and heard their cries as my own fists and feet struck home. Nik went down first. He tried to use his balance, but his centre of gravity was too far forwards. His primary method seemed to be quick, hard blows to try and break his opponent’s spirit before they or he reached their limitations. He had potential, but it wasn’t enough, so I broke a couple of ribs driving him back before taking out his knee. He stayed down.
