The Widow of Saunders Creek

by Tracey Bateman

  My instinct was to thank her politely and tell her I would call on her if I needed to talk. Instead, words rushed out of me like water from a faucet. “How do you learn to live without him? At the end of the day, Jarrod and I always connected. Even when Jarrod was deployed, there was almost always an opportunity to speak, at least a couple of times a week, even when he was in more remote places. That’s what I miss the most. The talks we had.”

  She nodded. “I don’t know if you ever stop missing the moments only the two of you shared. But I can say that the pain of the loss eases over time. And I suspect for a young woman like you, another love may eventually find you.”

  I wondered briefly if she was thinking of Eli. The fact was that I liked him a lot. So much that I felt guilty sometimes—when I thought about how warm and good and strong his arms felt the night of the tornado. Or when I recalled the moments we laughed together, or the way he had given me a canvas and paints and red velvet cupcakes, as if he understood that inside I was ready to live again.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “Right now the thought of loving again makes me feel like I’m being unfaithful to Jarrod.”

  The door opened and she turned. My stomach tightened as Ava Lancaster breezed in and waved. “Hi, Miss Sam,” she called. “Corrie. Nice to see you again.”

  I returned her greeting but turned back to Sam.

  Sam waved at her. “You’re back so soon? This is an unexpected surprise.”

  “Momma’s been under the weather since middle of last week. Doc says she’s got bronchitis and a sinus infection, poor thing.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Sam said. “Is she better?”

  “On the mend, anyway. But she’s been fretting over getting ready for summer solstice business, so I took a few vacation days to lend a hand.”

  “Glad to hear it. I’ll be right with you, hon,” Sam said. She patted my arm and dropped her tone so that her next words were for my ears alone. “I can understand your guilt. But when your heart is ready to love again, you’ll have to be strong enough to accept it and release the guilt.” A soft smile touched her lips. “Because trust me, honey, Jarrod loved you, and he wouldn’t want you to pine away for him the rest of your life because of misguided loyalty.”

  She went to Ava, leaving me to sort out her words. I could see the wisdom in what she said. The Jarrod I knew and loved for eight years would never want me to be alone. At least that’s what he told me. My mind returned to the talks we’d had before each dangerous deployment. Lying in each other’s arms, we hated to sleep, knowing that soon after sunrise he would leave and be gone for months on end. “Remember,” he would say, “if something happens to me, don’t be alone, Corrie. Don’t make yourself into a martyr for love. You have to get married again, have a bunch of kids. Name at least one of the boys after me, maybe two of them, so you’ll never forget me.”

  We would laugh then, and I would tell him to shut up and promise to come home or I wasn’t letting him go. And he would say okay.

  He only broke his promise once.

  Eli

  Even though I knew Corrie wouldn’t be off work until two, I had been watching the clock all day, waiting for her to arrive. At a few minutes before two, she pulled up in front of the chow hall in a cloud of dust. She was earlier than I’d expected, but the surprise was a pleasant one.

  She wore cutoffs with a pair of flip-flops and a man’s old blue button-down shirt. How could anyone be that gorgeous in such a dressed-down outfit? She wasn’t wearing short shorts either. The cutoffs were midthigh and modest, and I appreciated her consideration. It was difficult enough being a single red-blooded male in a world where beautiful women didn’t have much of a sense of modesty and either purposefully or through ignorance gave no consideration to their effect on men.

  “Hey,” I said. I knew I had a stupid grin on my face, but I was glad enough to see her finally arrive that I didn’t care. “You’re early.”

  She nodded, hopping out of the Jeep. “Your mom’s AC pooped out on us again. She’s getting a new one.”

  Guilt clutched at me. “Why didn’t she call me?”

  Reaching into the back of the Jeep, she took the slightest second to give me a knowing glance. “She didn’t want to bother you again so soon.”

  I reached for my breast pocket and grabbed for my phone. “I best give her a call.”

  Something crossed her expression, but she didn’t voice her opinion.

  “What?” I said. As I slid the phone back into the pocket, I realized she had gallons of paint in both hands. I reached for two. “What’s with the look?”

  “There was no look. Where do you want these? Your mom had me stop by her place and pick them up for you. There’s at least fifteen gallons, which I don’t think we’ll need.”

  “Leave the ones for the cabins in the Jeep, and you can drive down the path. No sense making several trips carrying heavy paint.” I motioned to the ones in my hands and jerked my chin to the building. “These will go in the chow hall.”

  She set her paint back in the Jeep. “Good idea.”

  “So why don’t you think I should call my mom about the air conditioner?” Call me a bulldog, but I couldn’t let it go.

  “Good grief,” she said with a laugh.

  “You started it.”

  “I didn’t say a word, you crazy.”

  “You gave me a look.”

  She sighed and shook her head as she climbed back into the Jeep. “Are there brooms and buckets in the cabins?”

  “First boys’ cabin,” I said, “the one you toured first last night. I didn’t know where you wanted to start.”

  “That works.” Her beautiful blue eyes gleamed with humor as she stared at me. “Okay, here’s the thing, since you won’t let it go. Your mom is a young, capable businesswoman. She can buy herself an air conditioner and have it installed without your help.”

  The words struck me, and my defenses rose. But she raised her hand and went on before I could respond. “I think you’re a great son, Eli. But we women are capable of making decisions too.” She smiled and I relaxed. “Your mom will always need you, especially as the years go by, but you’ll be doing her a favor to let her do what she can do for as long as she can do it. She’s barely sixty, I bet.”

  “Sixty-one, smarty.”

  “See? Like I said. She’s still young, and take it from another widow—doing for oneself is empowering.” She rolled her eyes. “And it’s only an air conditioner. She’s not selling out and moving to Mexico to live on the beach.”

  “Well, thanks for putting it in perspective.”

  “No problem.” She laughed. “It’s a gift.”

  I smiled at her. “All right. I won’t butt in.”

  “Good. Now I’m going to go work for my supper. You do remember that you’re springing for supper, right?”

  “I do. Ham sandwiches okay?”

  “Sure. Just don’t tell my Jewish grandmother.”

  I laughed. For someone raised with a silver spoon in her mouth, Corrie was the lowest-maintenance woman I’d ever met. “I’m kidding. I didn’t figure you’d feel like going out after painting all day, but I have a couple of filets marinating, and I made shrimp kabobs.”

  “Oh, wow. Now I’m starving.”

  I shook my head. “No work, no eat. See you later.”

  “Fine. And you should know my grandmother is all Texan, which, as you know, is all the nationality anyone needs.” She gave me a little half wave and drove off toward the cabins.

  I watched the little cloud rise up around the wheels, knowing my heart was beginning to lean toward her a little too much. If I wasn’t careful, I could ruin what was the promise of something really great between us by moving too quickly.

  Corrie

  It felt good to be needed. Sam had hired me at the store, but I had come to think she did it more to be sure I didn’t bury myself at the house than out of any real need for my stellar salesmanship. Of which I had none. As I worked, I
could hear the sound of Eli’s truck as he rounded up branches and other debris blown around by the tornado to be burned. Something about working together on this project made me feel a connection to him I’d never felt with anyone besides Jarrod, and it scared me a little. After my talk with Sam earlier, I had to wonder, were my feelings for Eli growing deeper than friendship? And if so, what did that say about my need to discover if Jarrod was trying to communicate with me?

  I scrubbed all four of the boys’ cabins—mostly a year’s worth of dust and cobwebs and animal droppings—and moved on to the girls’, which held more of the same.

  Still, I couldn’t stop my brain from wrestling with these new questions. Feelings. I wasn’t sure how I could sit across from Eli at dinner and not feel awkward now.

  While I scrubbed the cabins, I tried to think of a graceful way to excuse myself. After all, Eli was still the same guy he’d been yesterday when I’d grilled for him. I didn’t want him to know how confused I was.

  I’d grown so accustomed to the friendly banter and boy-next-door feeling about Eli that romance seemed like the next step, I supposed. Again, I remembered the strength of his arms the night of the tornado. I hadn’t felt attraction that night, just the need for someone to hold me and make me feel less afraid.

  Two hours into scrubbing and knocking down cobwebs, I was ready for a break. I still had more cabins to clean, but I was going to die without water at the very least. I set the broom against the wall and grabbed the bucket to dump the grimy wash water outside. I opened the door and found Eli walking up the path toward me. He looked tired himself, but he smiled and held up a couple of bottles of water and a paper plate with chunks of cantaloupe. “I thought you might be ready for a break.”

  I smiled. “Perfect timing,” I said. “I was just about to head up to the chow hall for something to drink.”

  “I got you covered.” He handed me a plastic fork. “Mind eating off the same plate?”

  “Nope.”

  We sat on the wooden floor, drank water, and ate cantaloupe, and I felt my strength returning.

  I motioned to the window unit blowing cool air. “So you got air conditioners for the cabins, I noticed. They weren’t here last night.”

  He nodded. “I had them, but they were stored away. I thought I’d get them out so you don’t sweat to death out here.”

  “I appreciate it. Even with them, all that moving around worked up a sweat.”

  “Least I can do.” He motioned to my plate. “How’s the cantaloupe?”

  “Sweet. Exactly the way it’s supposed to be.” I bit into another chunk. “So, Ava’s back again.”

  His expression changed from a smile to a frown in a split second. “She is? She was just here a week or so ago. It’s unusual for her to come home this often.”

  “She said something about her mom being sick and she came to help out in the store. What do you mean it’s unusual for her to come home so often?”

  “She just doesn’t, that’s all.” He glanced away, as though he didn’t want to talk about it. Jealousy hit me hard and fast, surprising me.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

  He expelled a breath and looked at me again.

  “You’re not prying. We have a history together. Ava moved to St. Louis after we broke up for the last time. That was three years ago.” He took a swallow of his water. “I’ve seen her four or five times a year since. Usually just for quick trips. That’s why I’m surprised that she’s come back so soon. It’s a nonissue, and I doubt she’ll even come around.”

  In a flash, I envisioned the two of them back together and eloping all in the span of two weeks. I shook the thought aside but didn’t like where my mind had gone.

  “Tell me about her.”

  He looked at me as though I’d asked for the moon.

  “Or don’t.” I laughed.

  “Do you want me to?”

  I didn’t mention that Sam had already given me the rundown on Ava. I was curious how he saw things. “Eli, sure. Tell me about Ava.”

  I braced myself as he glanced pensively toward the window. Again, I was struck by the angst I felt.

  “We knew each other from the cradle, practically. There wasn’t a lot of interaction between our families because we were churchgoers and they weren’t. Our social community was church and family. But in school she and I became friends, and friendship naturally evolved into a crush and then romance by the time we were in high school. There’s a lot of history there.”

  I was a little jealous of that history, I was ashamed to admit. I wanted to know all about Eli. I wanted to know what he loved and hated. What scared him and made him laugh.

  I loved Jarrod. I ached for him. Still dreamed of him, felt him in my home. He was my soul mate, and we had been torn apart way too soon. Maybe that’s why I felt so close to Eli. Because he and Jarrod had been so close all their lives. Maybe I just felt protective and cousinly toward him. But even as the thought crossed my mind, I realized that it was a defense mechanism. As much as I still missed Jarrod, I was also starting to have feelings for Eli, and I definitely didn’t want another woman waltzing in and confusing him.

  I realized he was staring at me as though it was my turn to talk. He’d said something about history. I sighed a little, stretching my legs out in front of me, leaning on my hands. “I understand having history with someone. It’s nice to have someone who knows what makes you tick. Someone to talk to who gets what you’re talking about.”

  I chided myself a little on the inside because that pretty much described my friendship with Eli.

  He sat silently, jabbing at his cantaloupe with his fork. I allowed him his silence and nibbled on mine. Finally, his eyes clouded over with what I’d come to recognize as his troubled look, and I couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Sighing, he tossed his fork onto the plate and met my gaze. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just a little worried I can’t get everything finished in time for the first set of campers.”

  Somehow I felt relieved that his pensiveness wasn’t about Ava. I knew from experience that sometimes a person needs to take a break and try to stop fretting for a while. I jumped up and reached out my hand to him. “Come on,” I said decisively, giving him no chance to protest.

  His large hand swallowed mine up as I yanked him to his feet. “What are we doing?”

  I grinned. “You’ll see.”

  Eli

  I stared at the creek and realized what Corrie had in mind. I was glad I’d worn cutoffs today.

  “Peel off the shirt, cowboy,” she ordered, unbuttoning her own men’s shirt to reveal a black tank top. She snatched the rope swing from the large oak tree with overhanging branches. Jarrod and I had used this tree more times than I could count. I had replaced the rope so the camp kids could have the same fun I’d experienced as a kid, but I hadn’t personally used it in years.

  I grinned as Corrie wrapped her arms around the rope, backed up, and took a running leap into the water. She squealed as she flew through the air and dropped into the cool creek. I caught the rope as it swung back to my side of the creek and waited while she swam to the surface. I wouldn’t want to land on her head.

  “That was great!” she hollered up at me. “Get in here. It’s perfect.”

  I followed her example, creating a splash as I landed in the water. As I surfaced, she grinned. “Let’s see if you can swim with that bum leg.” She took off swimming toward the other side of the river.

  “That’s not very nice,” I said.

  “Don’t think playing the sympathy card is going to keep me from kicking your behind.”

  I caught up to her easily and reached the bank before she did.

  She hung on to the rock edge and fought for breath. “Whew! I’m out of shape.” She glanced back at the other side of the river and groaned. “I guess I’m going to have to swim all the way back.”

  “Unless you want a piggyback swim.”

/>   “Don’t tempt me.” Her breath was beginning to even out, and she pulled in a deep breath. “I might be too tired to paint any more today.”

  “Wimp.”

  “Wimp?” Her eyebrows rose. “You realize of course that now I’ll have to beat you across the river. No more taking it easy on you.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  “I can hear in your voice that you don’t believe me.” Her eyes narrowed, but humor edged her tone. “Fine, mock me, but when you’re eating my dust, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “Eating your dust in the river?”

  “Semantics.”

  I won easily again, and by the time she crawled up to the wooden slab Pop had put in for the grandkids years ago, I had already been there a full minute. Her words came in gasps as she collapsed on the deck. “You’re not a gentleman.”

  I laughed out loud. “Sorry. Competition takes the gentleman right out of me.”

  “Now you tell me. I should have gotten a head start before challenging you.”

  “It wouldn’t have done any good. I’ve always been the best swimmer around, bum leg or no.”

  “Well, I’ll never challenge you to another race again.”

  “You could probably win if we were running.”

  She raised to her elbow, resting her ear against her palm. “What happened to the leg, anyway? Do you mind telling me?”

  I frowned. “Jarrod never did?”

  She shook her head, then gave me a cheeky grin. “This may come as a surprise to you, Eli, but most of our conversations had nothing to do with you. What do you think of that?”

  I chuckled. I knew exactly why Jarrod had never told her about my leg. But how did I answer her question without telling too much? Other than one mentor whom I’d confided in, only Jarrod, me, and God knew the truth about that day.

  “We were riding and decided to take a shortcut. But we didn’t realize the ridge was so soft. He passed me and my horse lost its footing.”