He squeezed her hand gently. “I started selling drugs, the same shit my mom was addicted to, coke, heroin, meth. It didn't matter. No one fucked with me anymore. The money was good. I did great for a few years, got pretty big up in New York, I was climbing the ranks. I had potential. I had girls, as many as I could get, I was keeping my own addiction under control, I had flashy wheels, clothes, I had it all.”
His face turned stoic as he continued. “My mom got AIDS and died, leaving me with my little sister who was barely sixteen. She was being prostituted out by a pimp, and was just addicted as I was to drugs. She was doing all kinds of crazy shit and I couldn't help her anymore. She's gone now too. She got killed by a guy who strangled her while he screwed her. I kind of lost it after that. She was only nineteen. Should have been at the prime of her life. But instead some pervert fucked her until she died.”
He stood up and paced for a few minutes then he rubbed his hand across his face as if to wipe off bad memories. His voice came out gracelessly. “I did a lot of bad things, Camille. I was a very bad person for a very long time. I beat a guy for spitting too close to me on the sidewalk. The man ended up in a wheelchair, I broke his back. I ruined his life. I killed the bastard who did that to my sister. I laughed as he begged me for mercy. I took justice into my own hands. I have led girls along, making them fall in love then leaving without a second glance. I have been a horrible person, Camille.” He looked at her quietly, his dark eyes impenetrable pools of angst. She touched his face, tears in her eyes. He turned his face away. “Please, don't. Not until I'm done. I need to hold onto my control, Camille. When you look at me that way... I can't.”
She dropped her hand “I'm so sorry, Casey.”
He sat quietly for a minute then continued. “On my twenty-third birthday, I was partying with some friends, selling drugs and drinking when a rival gang came in the club we were at and shot the place all to hell, mostly focusing on me. I died almost instantly from blood loss. The coroner's report said I had 135 gun shot wounds.”
Camille took a breath, her eyes wide and filled with tears. “Oh Casey. I'm so sorry you had to live like that and go through that hell. I can't imagine that kind of horror.” She grabbed his hand again. “Can you tell me one more thing? How did you end up being an angel?”
He smiled ruefully. “The Big Man Upstairs decided to prove me wrong. My whole life I said he
wasn't real, because he had never been there for me. I felt like he'd left me. In a way, he can't be everywhere at once. He told me that he'd give me a chance to right my wrongs. I started with every single person I ever hurt. Every single girl whose heart I broke? I found them wonderful men. They are all out of the lives they were living and are happily married. Hell, one even has a wife. She swore off men after me, but she's happy. I came to everyone I ever hurt and I begged their forgiveness. With some, they gave it instantly. Others, like the man, Jimmy, in the wheelchair? I didn't know he had kids at home when I did that stuff to him. Hell at that point in my life, I probably wouldn't have cared anyway. He refused me forgiveness for months. Finally he broke down and said I'd changed, that I wasn't the cocky prick who thought he owned the world. He saw me at my humblest. He changed me and helped me grow. I stayed with him a few more months just learning how to be a better man. No one ever taught me that, and Jimmy, he did. I think the Big Man Upstairs led me to him. I needed a dad. I needed a man who would show me right from wrong. Jimmy gave me that. He gave of himself so freely, to some asshole who fucked his whole life up. It totally changed my whole outlook on life. Jimmy is out on Long Island right now with his beautiful wife and his three kids, two boys, Carter and Tyler, and his little girl Cassandra. She's still little enough that she sees me. The boys are too big now. Jimmy and I still talk in his dreams, just like you and I are right now. He'd love you, Camille. He'd say you were meant for me.” He paused and looked deep into her eyes. “The biggest thing is, Camille, the Big Man gave me the opportunity to come back as a human. He just made me promise to give him seven years of service while keeping my nose clean and following every rule he gave me. Never get too close to a grief stricken client. Never touch them. Believe it or not, he has a lot of us like that. Fuck ups that he rehabs. It is pretty unbelievable. The way people on Earth think of him is so different than the way he really is. They all have this image of him that is skewed.” He took a slow breath. “The problem is, Camille, I'm breaking all the rules when it comes to you. I'm going to go out on a limb here.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I'm in love with you, Camille. I have been since I saw you with your mom the night of the accident. I have been from the second I saw you. I don't know what it is about you. I have never felt like this with anyone. Ever. I'm willing to give up coming back, to be with you. Just like this, for as long as I can.”
Camille shook her head. “No. You aren't going to screw up your chances of coming back. You can finish up your work, and then you can come back to me, right? How much longer do you have?” She grasped his hand, her eyes wide and pleading. Her heart thudded in her chest.
“I've got about another six months, but if I leave you, Cami,” He whispered. “You'd forget all about me and I'd forget all about you when I came back as a human.” His thumb stroked her palm and he looked at their hands clasped. “It wouldn't work.” He paused and reached behind his neck, unclasping the chain that held the cross around his neck. “I want you to have this, Cami. That way, no matter what happens from tonight on, you'll always have this.” He leaned over and gently clasped it around her neck.
A tear pooled in the corner of her magnificent green eyes. “Fine. Then we will make the most of the time we have together. I don't care who you were before me. Like you said, you gained forgiveness from them. This is about me and you, right here in this moment, and I don't want to live the rest of my life never feeling like this again, Casey, because I won't.” She shook her head, tears running down her face. “I won't.” She touched the cross at her neck and smiled sadly.
He used his hand to gently wipe her tears. “Cami, you can't say that, because you don't know. There are millions of other men out there. Men who are real. Who are alive right now. Who can give you everything you want.”
She smiled, only one corner of her full mouth tipping up. “Yeah, there are. But not a damn one of them can hold a candle to you. Not a damn one of them can make me feel the way you do.”
He smiled softly. “Camille.”
“I'm your Cami. Don't call me Camille.” She got up on her knees beside him. “I want to be with you. You said you wanted me to experience life. Then show me. I can't bear not being with you. I can't. This necklace is a piece of you but I want something more to remember you by so when you leave me, I will have everything I can get. I want to be filled to the bursting point by you. Because we both know it will happen. You'll have to go. Because I'm not letting you mess up the rest of your life for me.”
“Cami,” he breathed. He reached up and slipped his hand in her hair. “Sweetheart, I want you more than words can express. But not like this.”
Her eyes were dark and they bored into his. “Yes. Just like this. I'm ready for a man like you. I've been waiting all my life for you.” Another tear slipped down her face. “I refuse to let go of this feeling Casey. I can't go the rest of my life wondering what if. Because I will. Even if I can't remember you, I'll know something is missing, right here.” She tapped her index finger on her chest. “You can't tell me you won't know too.”
He was silent for a moment. “Cami.” His voice was strangled.
“Don't tell me no. I refuse to take no for an answer.” She leaned forward slowly, never breaking eye contact.
He groaned and sat up quickly, meeting her half way. “Cami, you are the best thing that ever happened to me.” He pulled her close and brushed a gentle kiss against her lips. “You're right. I would always know that you were missing.”
Chapter Thirteen – Detonate
He moved quickly, laying her back on the blanket and l
eaned over her, bracing himself on his arms. “Cami,” he whispered. “I don't know how far we can go.”
She smiled. “I want you to make love to me.” She touched his face.
He smiled and slowly kissed her. “I would love nothing more. I don't know how this works with me being an angel. I mean, I still have all the emotions, and I definitely still get hard, but I don't know...”
She raised a dark eyebrow. “Then we will learn together, won't we? I've never done an angel either.” She pulled him down to her, tangling her fingers in his dark hair. She pressed her lips to his, kissing him deeply. He groaned, his lips parting and she slipped her tongue into his mouth. He propped himself on his forearms to keep his weight off of her and kissed back, just as wild and deep, giving as good as he got. He gently nipped her bottom lip and opened his eyes. She stared at him, her green eyes dark and wide. “Casey,” she breathed and pulled him back to her.
He kissed her again, before dragging his mouth to her jaw and running a series of slow kisses across it. She moaned softly in the back of her throat. He moved to her neck and nibbled slowly down it. She ran her hands over his back, digging her nails in each time he nipped slowly. He caught her earlobe between his lips and she gasped. “Cami, I want to take you places you've never been. I want to marry you. I want to have babies with you. I want more than tonight.”
She turned her head and tears filled her eyes. “I'd love that too. But we aren't promised anything more than tonight. Even if you were human. Nothing more.” She pulled his face back to hers and kissed him deeply. He pulled himself to kneeling and grabbed her hand.
“Come here.” His voice was dangerous and it sent a pulsing ache to her core. He pulled her up and slowly peeled her tank top up, revealing inch by inch of creamy skin. “I'm going to make this the best night of your life, Cami.”
Her breath caught in her throat as his hands touched her sides and slid slowly upward. He pulled her shirt off at a frustrating rate, revealing her beautiful, creamy skin inch by inch and then her pale pink bra. He slid a finger along the edge of her cleavage, watching in pleasure as she shivered with desire. He leaned forward and his tongue traced the same path his finger had just been on. She moaned as molten desire shot through her core. She whispered hoarsely, “Casey, I'm going to make this the best night of your eternity.”
He grinned softly. “Yeah, baby, you will.” He reached behind her and caught the hooks of her bra. “Cami, I love you.”
Tears filled her eyes and she whispered, “I love you, too.”
He unhooked her bra and tossed it to the side, his eyes devouring her beautifully pale breasts. “You are exquisite,” he breathed. “Perfect.” He placed a kiss on her collar bone. “Incredible.” He nipped her neck. “Delicious.” He eased her back on the blanket and kissed the top of her breast. “Beautiful.” He caught her pale pink nipple in his mouth and sucked. She screamed out in shock and pleasure. He looked up with a smile. “You are the most beautiful downfall any angel has ever had.”
Her eyes were wide with pleasure. “Love me, Casey. Just love me. Please.” He lowered his mouth back to her breasts and laved attention first on one nipple then the other until she was whispering his name over and over, like chanting to a foreign God. He eased kisses down her stomach slowly, kissing and licking in tandem. He slowly licked around her belly button and branched out in either direction, planting slow and wicked kisses down to the line of her shorts.
“Sweetheart, these need to go.” He tapped the button with his index finger.
“Oh God. Yes.” Her desire made her voice husky. It was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard. He popped the button on her shorts and kept his eyes trained on hers as he lowered the zipper inch by inch. He slipped his hands inside and around to cup her bottom.
“Lift your hips,” he whispered, his own voice tight. She obliged and he whisked both her panties and shorts down her impossibly long peaches and cream legs. Her face was flushed with desire and her hair was fanned out on the blanket. Her lips were parted and she darted her tongue out to lick them. He eased back over her and his tongue touched her lips. “Cami, sweetheart, I'm so incredibly hard it hurts.”
Her eyes were wicked. “Let me touch you.”
“Cami,” he breathed. “I don't think I can hold out if you do.”
She pushed against his shoulders and eased him back to sitting. “These need to go,” she murmured, her hand brazenly cupping his cock through his shorts. He throbbed with each thump of his heart. “Take your shorts off,” she commanded.
He stood slowly and unbuttoned his shorts. “Is this what you want, Cami?” He slowly lowered the zipper a fraction of an inch.
She eased up on her knees, looking every bit a wanton goddess. “Yes,” she whispered. He pulled the zipper the rest of the way down and his cock sprang free from his shorts. Her eyes went wide. “You are beautiful.”
He laughed softly. “Cami, you aren't supposed to say that.”
One pale shoulder shrugged. “It's true. You are.” Her hand slipped up and wrapped around him. “You're like silk.” Her hand eased down his shaft. “Like steel wrapped in silk. You feel so incredible.” She eased her hand back up and he gritted his teeth.
“Cami, baby, you need to stop.” He took a slow breath.
“Why?” She stroked down then up again. She leaned forward, breathing on the head of his cock. “Am I driving you crazy?”
“Because if you don't stop this anatomy lesson, I will finish in your hand instead of inside you like I want to.” She grinned and pressed a kiss to the very tip of him. It was like a lightning bolt of pleasure.
Her words whispered against him were the best torture in the world. “I want you.” She opened her mouth and licked him, one slow lick.
“Oh God,” he whispered. “Cami.”
She wrapped her lips around him and slowly took him in her mouth. He shivered with pleasure. She looked up at him, her eyes deep green and velvety. She withdrew and took him deeply again, those jeweled eyes never leaving his.
“Cami, you have to stop,” he moaned hoarsely. He knelt beside her on the blanket. “Lay down, beautiful.” She eased back, her eyes watching him. He suckled her nipple again, and she cried out. He eased a hand down to her hip and then trailed slow fingers to her core. He barely touched, tempting and teasing her.
She bucked her hips and whispered, “Casey, love me. Please. I want...” He brought his mouth to hers and silenced her while he slowly touched her, swirling fingers over her core with increasing pressure. She moaned into his mouth. He slid one finger deep inside her, moving incredibly slow. She arched her back and bit his lip, grabbing at his shoulders with both hands. She was soaking wet.
He slipped his finger out, swirling his fingertip over her core again. She turned her face. “Casey, I'm dying. I feel like I'm going to shatter into a million pieces.”
“No, baby,” he whispered against her neck, “I'm showing you what it's like to live.” He moved faster than lightning and eased her knees wide. “Trust me, beautiful. Let me love you. Let me show you what heaven looks like. I'm going to shatter you into a million beautiful pieces and take you higher than you've ever been.” He lowered his face slowly, pressing a kiss to her lower abdomen and her thighs. She shivered.
“Casey...” Her eyes rolled back and she screamed in delicious agony when his tongue flickered against her clit. “Oh God!” He licked and suckled her until she was shivering, her thighs quivering around him. In one quick movement, he was leaning over her, the head of his cock pressing against her.
“Cami, love, this is your last chance to change your mind.”
“I won't change my mind. I want all of you.” She wrapped her arms around him. He reached down and caught her legs, winding them around his waist.
“Baby, you aren't a virgin, are you?” He tenderly fondled her breasts.
“No, Casey, but it's been a while. Even if you hurt me a little, isn't that what love is, hurting someone but apologizing profusely in the most
beautiful of ways? Love me, Casey.” Her hands fluttered down his back, pulling him to her.
He lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her like a drunk man who couldn't get enough. She was the finest damn drink a drunk could have, hot and fiery, sweet and smooth. He slowly moved his hips, entering her slowly. She was so unbelievably tight. She screamed against his mouth as she shook with an orgasm and he kissed her softly and slowly, waiting until she calmed.
“Oh God, is that what those feel like? Don't stop, Casey. Love me,” she breathed against his mouth. Her nails dug into his skin and he pulled back out until he was almost completely out of her. She arched her hips, sucking him back in and he entered her slowly, over and over until her walls clamped around him and she screamed. He looked deep into her eyes and drove into her over and over, whispering her name. He was so unbelievably close he couldn't stand waiting another second, she was moaning his name. He grabbed her hips and lifted her, driving deep into her until she tightened around him and he lost all control. He joined her up in the stars.
He kissed her mouth gently and whispered, “I have to leave you for a little while. Go to sleep beautiful.” She smiled softly, already half asleep again.
He heard the beckoning call. He knew he was in hot shit. He touched her face gently and smiled at her. “I love you. Goodbye, beautiful.”
Part Two – Him
Chapter One – Defy
He was being sucked through cosmic space and now stood in a dusky room. A voice came from the darkness. “Casey.”
“Hey, boss.” He knew that voice anywhere. He hung his head and cupped his hands over his genitals. Normal humans would be quaking in fear, but he'd been around the Big Man enough he just dazzled him instead of evoking thoughts of terror. He looked like a bear, but really was a kitten... Until you crossed him, that is. And I've crossed him, he thought to himself.
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