Feathers of Snow: A Goose Girl retelling (Kingdom of Birds and Beasts Book 1)

by Alice Ivinya

  “Your husband wasn’t a beast,” she almost screamed. “They’re of Sal’hadar, monsters that live to kill, Mama! The Crown Prince killed his wife in a fit of rage! Everyone knows that. His brother will now kill me, and you’ll get nothing more than a delayed letter saying it was all a horrible accident.”

  The Queen sighed but couldn’t hide the quiver from her voice. “Now, now, darling, that’s nonsense. You are quite capable of defending yourself, but you won’t need to. What if he’s nothing like his brother? It may be nothing but rumors, and the Crown Prince’s wife was just a Borderlander girl anyway. If he hurt you in any way, a foreign Princess, there would be war, and they can’t risk that.”

  Elyanna rocked back from the Queen and flung herself away. “Father won’t let us ride to war, even if they killed me, and you know it. We don’t have enough men to match the Borderlands, and that’s the whole reason you’re marrying me off as a sacrifice. They’re monsters, all of them. They’re not even human.”

  “Darling, they’re just as human as us, remember? He’s as much a beast as you are a bird. The Old Blood means little these days. Besides it’s good for royalty to have some of the Old Blood. He’ll live for longer and so will your children.” Her voice was soft, but her eyes were wide with panic. Her mouth sagged with hopelessness.

  The Princess ignored her, sobs breaking up her words. “They say it is cold all the time, and you never see the sun. The land is nothing but ice and snow and mountains. The pass between our countries becomes impassable every winter. If they do hurt me, I’ll be trapped with no way home.”

  “Oh, Elyanna.” The Queen pulled her sobbing daughter into a fierce hug.

  I pressed my hand against my throbbing temples and considered slipping out of the room and taking a break, leaving the Princess to her mother. A few minutes of quiet with a cup of tea, a sandwich, and some exercise would make the afternoon much easier to manage. The Princess wasn’t going to calm down anytime soon. I lowered my hand and the Queen’s eyes snapped to me at the movement. Her eyes narrowed and then widened, and her lips parted as she continued to stare at me. I took a step back at the intense expression and lowered my gaze.

  “They’d never know,” she breathed.

  Elyanna raised her head and frowned at her mother before following her gaze to me. Her swollen features brightened. “Yes.” She stood and clapped her hands together, a smile twisting her lips. “Oh, you’re so clever, Mama.” Unease knotted my belly, and my heart started to pound, worsening my headache.

  The Queen put a warning hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “We need to think this through carefully, Elyanna, and not get carried away.”

  Both of them studied me again with hungry gazes, and I felt my unease shift to horror. My chest tightened, and I parted my lips to make it easier to breathe. “You can’t seriously be thinking about sending me instead?”

  Elyanna placed her hands on her hips. “Why not? We have the same hair color and you have enough of the Old Blood, if not quite of my pedigree. You’re almost thin enough, you would just have to not eat for a while. No one from the Borderlands has seen me since I was little, so they won't know the difference. You could go in my place, marry that prince, save the kingdom, and we’ll have peace. Meanwhile I’ll stay here, and they’ll be none the wiser.”

  I gaped at her, shaking my head slowly. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “But the whole Court will know you’re still here. The Borderlands would find out sooner rather than later, and they would kill me and declare war on you for tricking them.”

  The Queen glided over and took my hands in her ice-cold fingers. “Now, Brianna, I know this is a lot to think about, but if this plan was successful, you would be serving not only your mistress, but the whole kingdom. And just think about it, this is the marriage of your dreams. It would hugely benefit you. You would live the rest of your life as a princess. Wealthy, privileged. Most girls in your position could only dream of such advancement.”

  I pulled my hands from hers, my horror thickening at her words and the plan I could see forming behind her eyes. “They’ll find out and kill me.” I tried to sound as assertive as I dared.

  The Queen narrowed her eyes and firmed her blood red lips. “Not if you play your part well. You have been with my daughter since before you can remember. You have attended every lesson with her, and I should hope you know as much as she about etiquette, politics, and the Borderlands. You have the white hair of the noble family, showing you have the Blood, and you look pretty enough. They know next to nothing about Elyanna, and people travel between the kingdoms infrequently. They are not a country for complicated politics and care more about honor and loyalty. They would not naturally suspect.”

  I sat down heavily on the bed, my head whirling. “But… but Elyanna will still be here. Everyone will know I’m a fake and word will reach them eventually.”

  The Queen tapped a finger against her lips. “Elyanna can disappear to the winter hunting palace.” She turned to her daughter and reached out her hands. “You would have to give up your title, darling, and stay away from the capital, but I’m sure we can find you a marriage you approve of away from court. You could be one of my cousin’s daughters. Nobody can keep track of her brood. I’ll visit as often as I can.”

  “But I’ll still be treated like a princess, of course?” Elyanna started to pace excitedly. “Does this mean I wouldn’t have so many lessons? But I could take all my things, couldn’t I? And all the servants. If I must disappear from court, I’d much rather it was to the hunting palace than a savage country days of travel away where I would never see you.”

  The Queen nodded. “Of course you could take your things. But you would have to give Brianna your ring with the royal seal.”

  The Princess pulled the ring from her finger with reluctance and watched the engraved opal sparkle in the light before shoving it into my hand.

  “See if it fits,” commanded the Queen. With a growing sense of hopeless inevitability, I slipped it onto my fourth finger where it nestled comfortably at the base. The Queen grinned in triumph as if this settled the whole affair.

  I tugged the ring back off. “But what of me? What of my parents?”

  Elyanna waved a hand in the air. “We’ll just tell them you’re dead. We could say it was an accident and send them some money in compensation. They barely see you anyway.”

  I took a step towards her, my panic reaching new heights. “What? No, that would break their hearts.”

  Queen Geraldina rested a calming hand on my shoulder. “We’ll merely tell them you accompanied the Princess to the Borderlands to continue as her lady-in-waiting. You can still write to them. Your father is often at court and I’ll keep an eye out for their welfare, if you cooperate. I will even add a few acres to their estate in Gilava. Maybe some soldiers to help clear the damage from the recent floods. The last potato harvest was so poor due to the rains, the whole region is in desperate need of some financial support. I will provide that in return for your services.”

  My insides ran cold. “And what if I don’t?”

  The Queen’s painted eyebrows slanted down. “Surely you can see this if for the good of everyone, dear Brianna? Of course, as you said, if you reveal your identity once you’re in the Borderlands, they will kill you for pretending to be the Princess. In the meantime, well, I’ll see to it that you are taken straight there with strict instructions to the guards. I’ll send a letter to your parents asking them to join us in Hava with your brother where I can look after them. If you even think about running away, I will try them in court for not taking more precautions to protect their people from the floods. Many people lost lives and houses, I heard.”

  I paled and my voice sounded small. “You couldn’t. The entire river flooded. They can’t be responsible for that.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Couldn’t I? It would be very convenient for me to lay that mess at their feet.” She reached out to stroke my arm. “But I won’t, because I know what
you are doing for our country and Elyanna. They will receive all the funding they need, and we will stop another potato famine. No more people need to die if you do as I say.”

  I opened my mouth to protest further, but no words came out. How could I reason with such madness? And the people of Gilava needed support so badly. And my parents… Part of me screamed against my silence. This was the one time I needed to draw a line and stand up against them. But I knew it was useless. It would only make things worse.

  I remembered the darkness, the cramps, my screams. The sound of nails being hammered inches above my head. Elyanna’s giggle.

  The Queen prized the ring from my palm and slipped it back on my finger. The opal was engraved with the swan of the royal family, matched only by the ones worn by Elyanna’s parents and two older brothers. I stared at it, wishing for it to vanish.

  The Queen tapped her lips again and turned back to her daughter. “She’ll also need Falada.”

  Elyanna frowned. “Really? Can’t she have another horse?”

  “Now, Elyanna, I know you love him, but half the world knows you own a Spirit-Horse. It would be odd if he didn’t go with you.”

  “But what if he tells somebody that she’s not the princess? There will be plenty of people with the Old Blood there who might learn to speak with him.”

  The Queen lay both her hands on Elyanna’s shoulders. “He won’t darling. Nobody else will have the opportunity to form a bond,” she flicked her eyes to me, and her voice hardened. “Will they, Brianna?”

  “The King won’t agree to this,” I muttered, staring at the ring on my finger that declared I was the highest Syberan royalty.

  The Queen shook her head. “He’ll come around when he sees it’s a way to keep his darling daughter close and safe, as well as keeping peace with the Borderlands.”

  I continued staring at the ring, a great crushing weight settling on my shoulders. I had thought I was about to finally be free of servitude. But now I was going to have to leave everyone and everything I knew to pretend to be Elyanna for the rest of my life. I was exchanging one cruel royal for another. I would marry a stranger in a distant, violent land, and nobody who cared about me would know. In return I would gain a husband who would kill me if he ever learnt the truth.

  Elyanna seemed to be enjoying herself now, the corners of her lips curved up in that cruel smile she used when hunting as she brought down her prey slowly, arrow after arrow. “I’ve heard Prince Jian barely speaks and has a sour temper and keeps to himself and has few friends. He’s so violent they keep him at the Border Forts as much as possible. I heard one rumor that he killed his own sister! Sometimes he locks himself away for days at a time.”

  I blocked out her words and tried to steady my breathing. I hadn’t intended to marry for years yet; I was only eighteen. But if I refused, my parents could be executed. My chest constricted painfully as I thought of their faces. I might only see them twice a year if I was lucky, but I still loved them.

  The Queen came and clasped both my shoulders again. “Brianna, it’s time for you to stop being a girl and become a woman for the good of Sybera. You will achieve more in this one action than most do in a lifetime, and you will live a life of luxury. Surely you can’t object to such an advantageous marriage for one in your position?”

  I opened and closed my mouth, but nothing came out. I felt like I was falling, falling, sinking into a sticky cobweb that wound tighter the more I struggled. Hadn’t I long since learnt that struggling against Elyanna just made her more cruel?

  Queen Geraldina walked over to the dressing table and took a needle from the sewing box and stabbed her finger. She squeezed it over her snowy handkerchief embroidered with blue flowers. Three drops of blood bloomed vibrant on the white. She handed me the handkerchief and smiled. “This is my blessing and my protection on your life, Brianna. The Blood of the Swan still holds power.”

  I nodded automatically and took the blood-stained linen, trying to stop my hands from shaking. This action more than anything showed there was nothing I could do to stop this. The Queen wouldn’t be wasting her Mother’s Blessing if there was any chance I wasn’t going.

  Elyanna seemed to realize this too, and her eyes lingered on the handkerchief in surprise, a flash of jealousy clouding her eyes. The Queen clapped her hands. “You will both leave together in two days. Any later, and you risk getting caught in snow before you arrive. The Borderlands are much colder than here. Brianna, you will go north. Elyanna, you will go south with separate guards. You must swap mounts when you’re beyond the city walls. Falada must go with Brianna or they will know something is amiss.”

  I was too numb to respond, still clutching the Queen’s blessing between my fingers. It was hard to breathe. Hard to think. Queen Geraldina’s fingers pushed my shoulder. “Go and rest now, girl. You need to pack and have some of Elyanna’s dresses altered to fit. You will be a princess of Sybera from now on.”

  I nodded and walked out without seeing where I was going. I needed Falada. I didn’t return to my rooms but broke into a run through the marble corridors, skidding around the giant ceramic pots of plants, and burst outside. I tore across the immaculate lawns and didn’t stop until I reached the stables, sheltered by giant oak trees. The sweet, herbal scent of horses and hay engulfed me and helped the tears come. The stable boy studiously ignored me as I burst in with red eyes and stumbled into Falada’s gold-painted stall.

  The huge horse was lying in mountains of straw, his legs tucked beneath him. He lifted his head as I entered and his ears flicked forward. ‘Brianna? What is wrong, child?’

  I collapsed into the straw and flung my arms around his neck. I sobbed into his white hair and tangled my hand in his mane. He nibbled on my hair, then rubbed his nose down my back. I lost myself in the dusty warmth of his coat.

  ‘Brianna, tell me. Things are often not as bad as they first seem. You’re making me all wet with your leaking human eyes.’

  I sat back on my heels and rubbed my face on my sleeve, smearing dust. “I’m sorry, Falada.”

  The horse shifted and studied me with one eye. ‘Tell me what happened.’

  When I was sure the stable boy wasn’t in earshot, I whispered the truth in his swiveling ear. “Elyanna was meant to marry a Borderland Prince, but she’s too scared to, so they’re sending me instead. I have to pretend to be her and marry this man, who nobody says anything good about. I’ll never be allowed home again.” The sobs broke free again. “I’ll never see Sybera or my family. I will never be Brianna again.”

  The horse snorted, scattering chaff from the straw. ‘Nonsense. You’ll always be Brianna, whatever people call you. I can see your soul, child, and it might be hidden, but it will not be extinguished.’

  “It’s my own fault. I should have been able to persuade them out of it. I’ve never dared stand up against her, not since… not since I tried to save that kitten.” I picked up a strand of straw and shredded it with my nails. “Maybe there isn’t much ‘Brianna’ left to be taken away. I can never change anything.”

  Falada nuzzled my arm. ‘We all become different as life goes on. Maybe you won’t need to pretend much at all.’

  I sat back and leant against him. “You’re coming too, with me, so they believe I’m Elyanna. They know she has a Spirit-Horse.”

  He snorted again, this time more sharply. ‘Will they still have rolled oats?’

  I scratched between his ears. “I’ll make sure they do.” I flicked over the stray parts of mane that fell on the wrong side of his neck. The hair was silky and almost translucent. “I’m glad you’re coming too.”

  “I don’t believe they have asked me yet.’ He bucked his head, which normally meant he was laughing. ‘But I have grown rather fond of you over the years.”

  I patted his neck, knowing that was as close as he would ever get to saying he loved me, but I knew that was what he meant.

  ‘You’ll be away from Elyanna. You always said you wanted that. You hate her. Don’t
be so sad.’

  “You don’t understand. I won’t be away from her; I will be her. All my actions will be dictated by who she is.” I wiped my nose on my sleeve. “I don’t want to be Elyanna. I would prefer to be anyone but her, and I want to be me.” I jabbed him in the shoulder. “Besides, don’t speak ill of your owner or she might turn you into glue.” I smiled to remove the sting of my words. “But yes, at least I won't be her lady-in-waiting anymore. Maybe I’ll have one of my own. Though the Borderlands don’t strike me as the sort of people to encourage people to be waited on hand and foot.”

  He shook his head, dislodging all the work I’d done to make his mane neat. ‘You will have lots of time. Time for us to ride. And read. You will find happiness. They say the Land’s Song can still be heard in the north. I’d like to see if that is true.’

  “But what if my husband is horrible? He’s a prince. Maybe I’ll just swap one cruel noble for another.” A real fear clenched my stomach at the thought of what that would mean for me. It would be hard to escape him, and I would be expected to bear an heir. As a noble of Sybera, I was trained in self-defense and was much better with a sword than Elyanna, better than pretty much all of the nobles, but Prince Jian was an experienced warrior. He had Old Blood too. He would be stronger and still in his home, surrounded by friends and family. What if he was violent? I suspected nobody would help me.

  ‘Just avoid him. Stay with me. He won’t get past me if you don’t want him to.’ He lifted up his great head in pride.

  I sighed and tilted my head back so it rested on his flank. “If only it was that simple. I can’t live in the stables all the time. Not when I’m supposed to be a princess.”

  We sat in silence and the sway of Falada’s chest started to lull me to sleep, but my brain kept turning the news over and over. I wished there was somebody else I could talk to, but the Queen would be furious if I breathed a word. I’d never felt so alone.

  Tears warmed my eyes again and I took a shaking breath. “Falada, I really, really don’t want to go. I’m scared.”