Feathers of Snow: A Goose Girl retelling (Kingdom of Birds and Beasts Book 1)

by Alice Ivinya

  Ruo was stitching a pair of large boots and I watched her quick fingers dart in the firelight. There was a question I had wanted to ask for so long, and I felt like I could only ask her.

  “How did Han’s wife die?” I asked and she jumped.

  “What brought that question on?” I didn’t reply and Ruo grimaced and shook her head sadly. “It was a terrible accident. Xiaoxiao fell down a flight of stairs. She had been drinking and didn’t break her fall as she should have done.”

  I stabbed the needle into fabric, even though I had no thread attached. I didn’t dare look Ruo in the eye as I asked, “Was it Han’s fault?”

  Ruo set down the boots and faced me so I was forced to meet her gaze. “Is that what you heard?”

  I didn’t reply, unable to find the right words.

  “Han, Xiaoxiao and all the royal family have the Old Blood of Sal’hadar’s tribe, the ancient wolf. It is diluted, yes, but still they bear certain traits. They can be quick to anger, strong, proud, stubborn.” She smiled as if seeing memories pour out before her. Whereas I heard the words whispered in Hava; ‘violent’, ‘dangerous’.

  Ruo sighed. “Han’s temper is the most unbridled. He is not the most disciplined of men. But he also loved fiercely, and not a person on earth could doubt he loved his wife.” Her smile dropped and she folded her hands in her lap. “There was an argument in their rooms. They fought often and loudly, so it was no cause for alarm. They had both been drinking, and Han ended up hurling a chair into the wall over something she said. She ran from the room, still shouting back in anger. Their guards saw her trip as she tried to run down the stairs. She was killed instantly.”

  Cold squeezed my heart and constricted my throat. “Oh,” I managed. “That’s awful.”

  Ruo took up her boots again. “To this day I don’t believe he laid a finger on her in anger, though I’m pretty sure she threw more than one item at him over the three years they were wed. They were a couple who argued but loved each other fiercely. I don’t think he will ever get over her. He knows he will need a wife if he is to be king, but he gives excuse after excuse to his mother.”

  “I’m sorry that he lost her.” I wound my finger in my skirts. “Do you think Jian would be like that? When I’m angry or annoyed I tend to draw into myself and go silent or snappish. I don’t think I would do well being shouted at. Or… anything else.”

  Ruo tilted her head. “I’ve seen him in fits of rage, don’t get me wrong, but to Jian, discipline is everything. He sees full Spirit-Beasts and humans with undiluted Old Blood, warped by the deep magic at the Border, and chooses to be as different from that as he can. He fights against the very blood in his veins.”

  I frowned and Ruo gave me a knowing look. “As far as I can tell, you in Sybera ignore your Old Blood completely.”

  I shrugged and chewed my bottom lip, still thinking about Jian.

  Ruo lowered her voice and looked down at the boots. “You don’t have anything to fear from him, child. Well, other than thoughtlessness that comes from being preoccupied by the Border and his men. He would never intentionally harm you, verbally or otherwise.”

  Ruo’s words brought me more comfort than I had anticipated. She knew the royal family well, and I trusted her judgement of character, though it was always hard to know what went on behind closed doors. At least it was one less thing to fear, but I was still far from feeling secure in my position here.

  I looked out of the window at the gentle flurries of snow in the wind. “Everything about him relates back to the Border. I want to go there, to the Forts in the Sal’hadar Mountains, and see for myself so I can understand how he views the world.”

  Ruo reached over and patted my knee. “It is not a pleasant place, my dear, but in some sense you’re right. You will never understand Prince Jian if you don’t understand the Border.”

  She stared down at the boots and there was a shadow of sadness in her eyes. She blinked and picked them up to start stitching again.

  “Who are the boots for?” I asked.

  She smiled as she caressed the leather. “My son, Chen. He is posted at the Eastern Pass of the Border, and I thought I would send him some warmer boots for winter. They say it can get cold enough for your toes and fingers to fall off in those forts, so I thought I would line these with lambswool. I send blankets up there every few months, so I thought I would send these too.”

  “Do you make the blankets too?”

  She nodded. “There is a group of us in the town who meet up once a week to gossip and knit for the soldiers. Most of us are mothers or grandmothers of men there.”

  I sat up straighter. “Can I come?”

  Ruo shifted. “To tell you straight, I’m not sure how comfortable they would be with a princess.”

  “I could go in disguise.”

  Ruo burst out laughing. “What, with your white hair and height? Your Syberan features? Everyone in Stonekeep knows who you are, dear. It’s just a knitting circle for women past their prime. Nothing exciting.”

  I sagged and looked at the embroidered cloak, wondering if Jian would ever even wear it. “It sounds like you are genuinely helping others. I would like to be useful too, especially if it involves company. Let me at least help fund you?” I had to be worth something to somebody here.

  Ruo reached out and gave my knee a quick pat. “Thank you, my dear, I’ll pass your offer to the circle.” She raised an eyebrow with a knowing smile. “Perhaps you’re already being more useful than you know. You’ve sacrificed a lot to just be here, I can see that. You’ll find your place in time.”

  I swallowed and shrugged. She sounded a bit like the Queen, and I wondered if I appeared to just be moping around in self-pity or desperately eager to please. Neither was the picture I wanted to paint. “I hope so.”

  The first proper snowfall had dusted the forests outside my window, and for once the sun shone. I dressed warmly and asked Ruo to accompany me in the gardens. Jeremiah and Cai Hong trailed behind talking about that board game I still hadn’t got my head around. Jeremiah seemed to be getting enthusiastic about it. Then again, standing around watching my door all day, or trailing me around gardens had to be pretty boring. It was good they could occupy themselves with something.

  Ruo was talking about design ideas for my wedding dress and describing what brides had worn at all the recent weddings in Stonekeep. I was amazed by her eye for detail. I didn’t have any strong opinions on the matter and was happy for her to get carried away designing mine however she liked. Though the dress she had been most impressed with had been Xiaoxiao’s, and I didn’t want to echo her unfortunate fate. Maybe I would add a Havan twist to the traditional flowing Borderlander shapes.

  My mind started to drift as we trudged down yet another path between bare bushes. Through the crunch of snow, I heard a child’s whisper. ‘Briaaaanna.’

  I looked sharply at Ruo. “Did you hear that?”

  She blinked as she looked up at me, the sun glaring into her face. “Hear what, my dear?”

  I frowned. I had to be just imagining it. Nobody here apart from Falada knew my real name. I shook my head. The guards weren’t reacting either.

  I brushed the snow off a white marble bench and sat down to enjoy the view of the unblemished garden. The pond was frozen, and a family of ducks waddled across the surface.

  A whisper came from right behind my ear. This time I could hear two children’s voices speaking in time, male and female together. ‘Welcome, Brianna.’

  I started and leapt from the bench, my hand flying to my sword. My guards were at my side in an instant, their own blades drawn as they scanned my surroundings. Jeremiah leaned over the bench to examine the snow on the other side. “Are you alright, Highness?”

  I looked around wildly. There had definitely been a voice immediately behind me, but there was nothing there. The snow bore no footprints and there were no leaves on the trees or bushes to hide behind. I didn’t take my hand from my sword hilt.

  I cl
eared my throat. “We should go back into the castle.”

  Ruo and the two men looked at me with questions in their eyes but didn’t voice them out loud. I was glad when they all stayed alert. If I could hear something they couldn’t, did that mean it was something of the Old Blood? But the voice hadn’t sounded like the weak cry of the bird, or the human sounding voice of Falada. Jian had said that strange things happened here to those with the Old Blood and to bear them no heed.

  But the voice or voices knew my name.

  If the Borderlanders found out I wasn’t Elyanna, they would be within their rights to kill me. None of them cared about me enough to want to protect me. And back in Hava, I dreaded what Queen Geraldina would do to my parents and brother if I ruined the alliance. I couldn’t ignore this voice, and there was only one person who I could talk to who knew the truth: Falada.

  I dismissed a bewildered Ruo and asked Jeremiah and Cai Hong to wait at the stable doors. As I rushed to Falada’s stall, the commotion unsettled the gaggle of geese present in the neighboring sheds, and I saw the tip of their wings flap above the gate. They had to be shut in permanently now due to the snow, and I wondered if their honking would be another thing for Falada to complain about.

  ‘What’s wrong, little one?’ Falada’s soft voice filled my head before I could even see him over the stable door.

  I hurried into his cubicle and threw my arms around his neck, breathing in his dusty, herbal scent. “I wish you could be with me inside the castle.”

  He nuzzled my arm, then reached up to continue eating from his soaked hay net.

  “I heard a voice, Falada. One that nobody else could. It said my name. My real name. A whisper behind me.”

  There was silence apart from the sound of teeth grinding hay.

  ‘If nobody else could hear it, why are you worried?’

  “Because it means that somebody or something knows who I really am and could give me away.”

  He snorted and hit me gently with the tip of his tail. ‘You humans worry about so many possibilities. There is nobody else here with the blood of the great eagle Thrum’ban. It is likely the voices you hear are silent to everyone else.’

  I stepped back and frowned at him. “How can you not be worried? How does it know what I am? Nobody else does apart from us.”

  Falada turned away from the hay net and tilted his head towards me. ‘Peace, Brianna. If it could and wanted to give you away, it would have done so already. I suspect it is nothing to fear. A whisper in the wind means little in these lands.’

  I found a comb to brush his mane. “Do you think it was a Spirit-Bird? It sounded different.”

  ‘There are many voices and many types of bird.’ He swung his head to look at me with one eye through long, pale lashes. ‘Just don’t follow where it calls.’

  A shiver ran up my spine, and I forced a smile. “Don’t worry, I’ve already got one annoying Spirit-Beast in my life. I’m not tempted to find another.”

  He flicked his tail and stomped a hoof, bucking his head. ‘I’m not annoying.’

  I laughed and nestled my forehead into the hollow between his neck and his shoulder.

  “Princess Elyanna?” came Jeremiah’s voice from the stable corridor.

  I sighed and poked my head out, reluctantly leaving Falada’s comforting warmth. “Yes?”

  “I think we should go inside. Word is that Prince Han’s men didn’t reach their next village. Hai Rong says everyone is on edge.”

  I undid the stable door and shook the dust from my gloves. “Why has Prince Han not made the next village? Is it the snow? I assume it’s deeper further north.”

  Jeremiah shrugged, a helpless look on his face. “I don’t know, but Hai Rong is worried about you being outside. Maybe your betrothed is going to get protective again.” He gave me a wry smile.

  I elbowed him for his cheekiness. “Come on then, we don’t want to cause a fuss. Knowing Prince Han, he probably got distracted by a tavern.”

  Jeremiah nodded but looked uneasy.

  “What is it?”

  “What spooked you earlier, Princess?”

  I searched his eyes in alarm that he might have heard it too, but there was only concern there. “It was nothing. I thought I heard something in the wind. I’m still not used to the sounds it makes up here.”

  Jeremiah nodded, but still looked uncomfortable. “You know I would protect you against anything?” he said slowly. “You don’t need to keep things from me. I would never betray a secret or judge you.”

  My heart twisted a little at the earnestness in his eyes and I wondered where his words were coming from. “Thank you, Jeremiah. You are the best guard I could have hoped for.”

  He smiled and stood a little taller as he led the way back to my rooms.

  I was finishing my exercise routine after a light breakfast when Hai Rong opened my door mere seconds after knocking. I was about to scold him but stopped when I saw his alarmed expression. I leapt for my sword before he could speak. “Your Highness, you should come.”

  I strapped the sword to my waist. “What has happened?” I hurried to his side.

  “Prince Han’s men have been found. And the Prince himself.” His face was pale and the normal private amusement was missing from his features.

  “Are… are they alright?”

  He met my eyes with a flat expression. “They’re dead, Princess.”

  My insides turned cold and the world dropped around me. I forced my lips to shape words. “Dead? How?”

  He shook his head. “The scouts have brought Prince Han’s body back with them. The royal family are gathering. You should be there to show your respects.”

  I nodded and followed him down the corridor, snow battering against the windowpanes. The news tried to seep through my numbness, but it didn’t make sense. How could a man so vibrant and full of life be dead in an instant? And what had killed all his men? They had not been to the Border, and Kilamore troops didn’t scout the Borderlands like they did in Sybera, creating small skirmishes.

  My mind and body became detached as Hai Rong led me down several flights of stairs to a room I had never been to before. It was in the very foundations of the castle and was so cold, my breath misted in great clouds around my head.

  The room was dark and had a low, stone-vaulted ceiling, and I halted in panic. I was back in the barrel, the lid mere fingers above my head, the darkness pressing in. My fingers bleeding from scrabbling against rough wood for hours. Hours and hours with no way to escape.

  “Princess?” Hai Rong held out his hand to help me down the last step. “Are you alright? Have you… have you never seen a dead body before?”

  My heart hammered and my brain screamed for me to run. Escape. Protect myself. I took deep breaths and focused on the guard’s calm face, gripping his hand hard enough to hurt. Gradually my terror lessened, and I forced trembling words out, hating how weak they made me sound. “This place brings back unpleasant memories.”

  Hai Rong nodded and tilted his head. He didn’t let go of my hand and I was surprised by his understanding. “We can wait upstairs?”

  I took deep breaths until the room came into focus before me. Just a room with plenty of space. I could do this. I shook my head and motioned for Hai Rong to lead on. He let go of my hand, but I stayed close to his back. We ducked under the stone vaults of the ceiling and neared a pool of torchlight with a vigil of silent people. I dug my nails into my palms, helping me stay grounded, even if my hands refused to stop shaking. The body of a man lay on a slab. Above the slab was a wide chimney that bore high windows and mirrors, reflecting daylight down and onto the cold body of Prince Han. The rest of the room lingered in darkness.

  “Are you alright?” whispered my guard in my ear.

  I nodded. “Thank you.” Just breathe, Brianna.

  I found a place to stand at the back of the crowd and waited for my eyes to adjust to the odd lighting. As more of the room became visible, and I could see how wide it was, my he
art calmed. The King and Queen stood to either side of their son, their heads held high in pride, but silently weeping. Men and women stood around them, stances stiff and upright in respect. Behind them, seemingly cut off from the rest, was Prince Jian, a pocket of darkness surrounding him.

  I waited in silence as the memories leached away and felt the cold eat into my bones. I began to feel truly present in the room. It had to be part of the family tomb, the natural cold used to preserve the bodies until burial. I wondered how funerals were performed here and what rituals I might be expected to perform. Those thoughts were easier to concentrate on than the dead Prince in front of me. I hadn’t known him long, but Han had been kind to me.

  There were fragmented mutterings, and one by one the people left. The block of reflected sunlight tracked across the floor. Prince Jian didn’t move. He stood completely still as if on parade, and my heart broke. Did he really have nobody to comfort him at this time?

  As the people left, the view in front of me cleared, showing pale light streaming in slanted pillars onto the man lying on the table, covered in an embroidered cloak. His sword and bow had been laid to either side and the skin of a wolf lay at his feet.

  I dismissed Hai Rong, so Jian and I were the only ones left. The guard hesitated, but I gave him a smile to show I was truly alright, and he bowed and left. Jian remained staring at the shrouded body of his brother, and he had to be freezing. I trod softly toward him so as not to disturb him, despite my legs being frozen and clumsy. I could no longer move my toes and my fingers were cold, even though I kept them under my armpits. Now that everyone had left, Jian looked so alone, almost forlorn. I bit my lip. If I was to be his wife, wasn’t my role to support him in everything? Just as he was meant to do for me? I crept forward, the air heavy with grief, and stopped beside him. He didn’t acknowledge me, but kept his eyes on his brother, his face a frozen mask. I could almost physically feel his pain.