Finding You (Finding You Series Book 1)

by Amanda Mackey

  “Would you like a shower? There’s a spare bathrobe you can use if you like, until your clothes dry,” I squeaked, avoiding eye contact. There’s nothing wrong with offering him to get warm and dry when he’s been out in a storm. I’d do the same for anyone.

  “Thanks, that’d be great.”

  Leading him into the bathroom I leaned on the wall for support. Here I was on a tropical island in my bathrobe with a famous Hollywood actor who was about to strip naked and take a shower in my bathroom. The very bathroom that I had been in not so long ago. Could it get any more surreal?

  I found a spare towel and motioned to the bathrobe hanging on a hook on the back of the door and left him to it, feeling the sexual tension fill the room. My mind was filled with vivid naughty girl thoughts of his naked body. His wet clothes had clung to his toned physique, leaving me with hot tingles. The white shirt he would no doubt have to peel off had clung to his nipples and rounded pectorals. Shit! Shit! Stop it! Get your head in the game and settle down. Breathe and just take each moment at a time. Grabbing a glass from the cupboard I filled it with water and chugged it down, not stopping until there was nothing left. I gripped the edge of the counter, willing my heart to slow. I was going to have another meltdown if I wasn’t careful.

  My thoughts flicked to my parents. They would never in a million years believe that a movie actor was showering in my hut at this very moment. They would no doubt be thinking I’d be spending good quality time on my own, licking my wounds. As I should be!

  When Kyle was around though I couldn’t ignore the pull I felt tugging me towards him. It was beyond my control. My inner voice was fighting me tooth and nail but I could feel my resolve slipping.

  Hearing the shower switch off sent me into a tailspin. Where to sit? How to look? Should I change? Suddenly I was nervous. Actually, nervous didn’t even come close. My stomach was roiling and my legs felt weak. I really shouldn’t be contemplating the idea of having Kyle in my hut. What did I expect to happen? He was a hot-blooded man and I was an okay looking woman. We were alone and I was in my frigging bathrobe! Was I getting in way over my head?

  Eying my partial manuscript spread out on the table, I moved over to it and shuffled the papers together into a neat pile, looking for something else to do with my trembling hands. Flowers! That’s good. I fiddled with the arrangement, pulling them out and putting them back in, not really changing the appearance of them but happy I was doing something.

  I looked around the room for something else. Anything else! I spotted my bra on the floor near the bed and raced over, swooping it up and throwing it in my case before hearing a noise and turning.

  Kyle materialized at the bathroom door looking extremely delicious. His robe was loosely tied at the waist, revealing his hairless, bronzed chest. His eyes had darkened and held the promise of something I may not be ready for. Things were moving so fast. Adrenalin coursed through me and I wasn’t sure if it was fear or anticipation. Shit!

  “That feels better,” Kyle revealed, walking over to me with a swagger.

  I could feel my pulse thumping in my ears and my chest seemed to vibrate with the force. My hands had gone all clammy.

  Oh, so gently, Kyle slipped his hand around my tiny waist and drew me to him. His clean, freshly washed skin smelled of the lavender soap in the shower. It did little to quell my nerves.

  He reached up and touched my face, letting the tenderness of his skin glide over my features. There were no callouses on his hands from physical work, only soft pads that were making small circles on my cheeks.

  Okay, you need to put your big girl panties on and give in to this. It feels right. He won’t hurt you. He’s too gentle for that. You kissed him last night, for heaven’s sake!

  His mouth moved to within inches of mine and hovered, making no attempt to claim me yet, which was nice. It allowed me to soak up his touch and try to relax. Maybe that was his intention because I’m sure he could read my apprehension clearly.

  “Does that feel nice?” His breathless words touched my lips while his fingers still feathered my face.

  “Yes.” And it did. Never had I been held or caressed in such a way before. It was like he was worshipping me and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why. It didn’t make sense.

  Don’t over think it, Dakota. Just go with it. Feel it.

  I shouldn’t have had to repeat the mantra in my head over and over but that is the way things were for me. I had to try and convince myself that I was worthy.

  “I’d really like to kiss you.” It was more him asking my permission than a bold statement. I knew how he kissed and had been thinking about it all day, so almost imperceptibly, I nodded. It was enough for Kyle to close the gap. I tasted his warm, soft lips against mine as butterflies flapped madly in my stomach.

  I brought my hands up to rest on his head in response.

  What started out as a light, tender kiss, soon rocketed into hunger. A yearning rose in me like never before and it scared me. The sensation of needing this man to possess me fully was throwing caution and reason out the window. I was letting my guard down and my guard was what would keep me safe. If I had learned one thing in my destructive marriage it was to always be on guard. Expect the worst.

  That put a damper on my newly discovered libido, much to my disgust. Kyle must have sensed it. He pulled away and held my gaze.

  “Are you okay?”

  I whimpered at my hesitance. I wanted to be okay. I really, really did. “I’m sorry. This is going to sound so cliché but it’s not you, it’s me.”

  I couldn’t look at him anymore and found a spot on the wooden floor to focus on.

  “Hey.” Kyle softly held my chin and pulled my face up so I would look at him. “Dakota. It’s okay. Hey, look at me. Please? I won’t hurt you, I promise. We don’t have to do this.”

  My line of vision rose to meet his concerned eyes. He seemed genuine enough and wasn’t putting any pressure on me.

  I let my shoulders sag and let out a deliberate breath. “Thank you. I like you, I really do. It’s just…well, some things have happened in my past to hurt me…”

  I wasn’t able to continue because Kyle interrupted me. “It’s perfectly fine. I totally get it. I’m sorry if I came on so strong, it’s just that you’re so pretty and well, you’re kinda standing there in your robe and I’m in mine…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Listen, I’m sorry. Let’s start this evening again. I’ll behave.” His blinding grin set my heart alight and my libido started punching my brain in utter abhorrence.

  I smiled at him, relieved that he wasn’t annoyed with me. I walked over to the tea and coffee facilities, suffering caffeine withdrawal and needing something to distract me. “Would you like a coffee or tea?”

  Kyle moved to the small sofa at the side of the dining table and sat down. “Mmm, I’ll have coffee, thanks. White with two.”

  So far Kyle had been extremely respectful and hadn’t asked me to elaborate on my past, which I was grateful for. I decided to keep the conversation directed elsewhere. “How is the movie coming along?”

  “Really good. We’ll probably have it all wrapped up in another few weeks. It’s been a lot of fun.”

  Once the kettle was boiled I filled our mugs and joined Kyle on the sofa, careful to keep some distance.

  I tucked one leg up under the other and turned more so I was facing him. “Can I ask you something strange?”

  “Sure.” He sent me one of his panty-dropping smiles.

  Sucking in a breath, I blurted out what I had wanted to know more than anything, “Why me? I mean, what is it about me that you like? I’m just a nobody.” My eyebrows seemed to pinch together as I pushed a lazy strand of hair behind my ears.

  His hand found my shoulder as he squeezed tightly before raking his knuckles down my face. “Don’t ever say that. You are somebody. You’re somebody so great, yet you don’t see it. I like you because you’re normal. You don’t seem to have any pretenses about you. What yo
u see is what you get. Not to mention that I think you’re hot!”

  I giggled and squirmed on the couch, my cheeks aflame. “What if what you see isn’t necessarily what you get?” I wasn’t going to go into detail but guilt shredded me. There was so much more to me than he could ever know.

  Running his fingers through my hair, he moved in closer. “We’ve all got skeletons in the closet. That doesn’t define who we are. You’re real. You’re funny and sweet. Trust me when I say that you are such a refreshing change to the women I’m used to.”

  Yes, and you’re such a refreshing change to the man I’m used to.

  I decided to leave it at that. Putting my mug down on the side table, I felt a sudden urge to be closer to him. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him in closer, feeling his masculinity. His hands clasped my head as I took control and initiated a kiss. Our lips moved tenderly. I longed for the mouth of this godly creature more than I’d ever longed for any man’s before and I sensed he felt the same way. His tongue traced my bottom lip as he gently probed my mouth open. I let him in, tasting the coffee on him. I felt giddy, angling my head different ways to deepen the kiss. He groaned into my mouth, both hands holding my head firmly in place. We stayed in that blissful place for ages, not moving to the next step but just enjoying each other’s mouths.

  Kyle eventually pulled away, resting his forehead on mine. “I don’t normally act quite this hastily with a woman,” he said huskily. “But I’m drawn to you in a way that I can’t explain. I’ve never felt this way before. Please tell me to stop if you want to. I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. We can slow this down.”

  I put my finger over his mouth to silence him and he proceeded to take it in his mouth and suck on it like a baby sucking on a bottle. His eyes were tightly closed as he concentrated immensely on the act, sending electric pulses of desire to my groin.

  Is this what it felt like to be pleasured by a man? Slow, erotic gestures as if we had all the time in the world? He’d only kissed me and was now laving my finger with his tongue. Holy hell it was hot! If he didn’t stop, I was going to fall into the forbidden zone and give myself to this man, which would be insane, considering I’d only known him for two days.

  I watched him slowly pull my finger from his swollen lips, his hooded eyes nearly causing me to lose it. I ran my thumb over his bottom lip. “You’re so gentle.”

  “You deserve gentle. You deserve to be adored.”

  The whimper that escaped my mouth sounded alien. He was pressing all the right buttons, enveloping me with his warmth.

  We sat for another few minutes, lightly feathering each other’s faces before he planted a ‘barely there’ kiss on my lips and then he stood. “I really should go. It’s getting late.”

  I stood too, looking at the emotion in his eyes. “Are you sure?”

  “No, but it’s the right thing to do. I don’t want to overwhelm you. Let’s just move slowly.”

  Where had this well-mannered man come from? He could have easily initiated the kiss to go further but he’d honored my wishes and to me that was commendable. It made me eager to see him again.

  He walked to the door and I had to remind him about his clothes. “Are you forgetting something?” My left eyebrow rose.

  He turned and pulled me into his arms, laying a kiss on me that heated my blood. “There. Now I haven’t.”

  I looked at his robe, running my eyes down the length of his body and then back up. He looked down, suddenly laughing fully. “Oh! I see what you mean. I was so comfortable I didn’t realize I was still in the robe.”

  He walked into the bathroom and returned a couple of minutes later, fully dressed in his damp clothes.

  He kissed my forehead and whispered, “See you tomorrow, beautiful girl.” And then he was out the door and away as if he had only been a figment of my imagination.

  Locking the door, I dropped my robe onto the end of the bed and snuggled under the covers, happy beyond words.

  My slumber was sound and undisturbed, filled with pleasurable thoughts. Tonight the nightmares stayed hidden.

  ***

  Upon waking, a goofy smile morphed onto my face. Memories of last night washed over me, lighting me up from within. I bit my bottom lip. I could still feel his coffee-flavored tongue inflaming my mouth. I couldn’t stop the sigh as I sailed out of bed and out onto the balcony to bask in the glory of morning.

  Something on the outdoor table caught my eye.

  There, in all its glory was a native wildflower, handpicked from the garden outside with a note attached to it.

  Focusing properly, I picked it up and began to read.

  Hey beautiful girl,

  I have a full day of filming but still want to see you. You are amazing. Come by the set today. It’s on the hilly part of the island. I’ve left directions with Ramah. I can’t last a whole day without seeing you.

  Kyle

  xxxx

  I read it over and over, savoring each and every word.

  Holy crackers! He thought I was amazing. Not just him, but Kyle Rutherford the actor. I was absolutely busting with joy, hanging on to each and every word. He wanted to see me today during filming. Wow!

  The note and the flower brought a huge smile to my face as I inhaled the heady scent.

  It was early days but there was no denying the chemistry between us. Not just on my behalf but on his as well. He made my stomach do flip-flops whenever he looked at me, which seemed to be all the time. Anyone else would have probably made me uncomfortable but Kyle was different. I liked him looking at me with his intense eyes.

  It felt like we’d known each other longer than mere days. He just had that easy-going way about him. He was so likeable. Forgetting about the rest of the world would be so easy right now.

  What will happen when it’s time for me to return home, though? How will I ever leave?

  They were questions that didn’t have to be dealt with yet. I’d only just begun this incredible journey, if it could even be called that yet. There was still so much more to experience, so many more feelings to uncover.

  Taking the flower with me, I walked back inside, setting it onto the kitchen counter before deciding on a shower where I leaned up against the tiled wall, enjoying the hot water pelting down on my skin.

  Chapter Five

  Dakota

  By about ten o’clock I couldn’t wait to see Kyle and decided to take him up on his offer of visiting him on set. Ramah gave me the directions just as Kyle had mentioned.

  “You go up the main road for a while until you’re past the shops. You then veer off to the right. This road will take you up to the highest part of the island. Once you’re at the top, there’s a little lane leading off to the left. You follow that right down to the end and that’s where they’re filming. Be careful not to miss the little lane though or you’ll end up on the other side of the island.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Ramah. I think I’ve got that. Follow the main road, then right, then left.”

  I let the directions sink in for a while, silently admitting that following directions wasn’t one of my strong points. After mulling it over for a few minutes, I went out the front and stepped into a waiting cab.

  I had on the new top and shorts that I’d purchased the day before and had done my hair up in a messy bun. Hey, I was on holiday, trying to blend in as a beach bum!

  The driver already knew where to go so before long we were rocketing towards Kyle.

  “Everybody on the island is talking about the movie, which is quite understandable as nothing like this has ever happened here before,” he went on to say. “It might put us on the map and bring more tourists, which would certainly benefit people such as myself.”

  It would be a crying shame to let the tranquility of the island succumb to the masses. Commercialization would ensue at some stage, spoiling the essence of the island but I didn’t let on to the man who probably struggled to feed a family and could use the extra business.r />
  The road soon narrowed further. Stones flicked up and ricocheted off the car as we sped along the gravel road. Dust billowed in our wake. I hoped we didn’t encounter a vehicle coming in the other direction because one of us would have to stop to let the other one past.

  The terrain grew lush with giant ferns lining the banks and gullies. It was hard to believe that the ocean was only a breath away. The contrast in scenery was magnificent.

  Veering off to the left just as Ramah had directed, it wasn’t long before the road ended and we were in the thick of it. Cars, trucks, bikes and any other mode of transport had haphazardly parked on the grassy verge. Equipment, including cameras, tripods, and props littered the clearing. We had arrived.

  Exhilaration filled me as I anticipated the reunion with Kyle. He would be so happy to see me, probably not actually expecting me to take him up on his offer.

  I paid the driver, who almost looked like he wanted to stay and nose around for a while. I walked over to a small gathering of people.

  “And whom might you be?” insisted an attractive blonde woman who eyed me up and down as though I was some sort of insect. “You do understand we’re filming a movie here? We’re not meant to have spectators, you know?”

  Her makeup was caked on and she wore skimpy clothing. There had definitely been a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

  “Kyle invited me,” I was more than pleased to announce, obviously causing a bit of a stir in the woman who appeared too big for her boots.

  The woman flinched. It was only slight but it was there. She had no idea that I had been spending time with Kyle and no doubt figured I was just another one of his female groupies who had followed him here to swoon and croon all over him. Well, the last part wasn’t far off.