Duly Noted

by H. M. Shander

  “Says the one who actually started the whole cheesy pickup line.”

  She stood on her tiptoes and reached up to give him a kiss. The best part of her day was kissing him. As often as possible. She loved it when he held her close and her breasts squished against his firm chest. But try as she might, he hadn’t advanced to anything further than first base, remaining steadfast in his damn baby steps theory of their relationship. She hoped deep down he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

  After a few minutes of heart-racing action, he pulled away and tugged at his shirt collar. Aurora fanned herself as well. The mugginess in the air pushed on them both. “Let’s get this over with. Before we get dumped on.” She searched the sky as if it had somehow warned her of the approaching storm.

  Nate cocked his head towards the car. “So, step one.”

  Taking a deep breath, she stepped closer to the red car and hesitantly placed her quivering hand upon it. “I’m doing it,” she said through gritted teeth. Her eyes slammed shut, and she held her breath as she waited for him. Waited for his touch.

  Nate didn’t disappoint her, and once again ran his hands down the length of her arms and ended on top of her hands. She shuddered when his tantalising breath blew across the nape of her neck where a fresh wave of sweat built up. “That’s my girl,” he whispered.

  After counting to sixty, she turned and leaned her backside against the car. With great care, he lifted her like a feather and rested her on the hood. She wrapped her legs around his waist, more in fear than sexiness. Breathing hard and hands folded into her chest, Nate hugged her tight. She was sure there would be some dampness beneath his arms where they rested against her shirt. And it wouldn’t be caused because she was hot. Fear had a funny way of showing itself.

  “You’re doing so well,” the voice said in her ear. “Keep it up, Aurora.”

  She held onto his voice, rather than claw at him. Listening to the rhythm of his words, she focused every ounce of her being on the little inflections, the soothing way he whispered her name, the way his breath sounded against her ears. The trembling started low, but built to a crescendo rapidly. Her heart raced, and her breath came in quick spurts, but she handled it. As long as she concentrated on him, the edges of her living nightmare stayed away, or at least remained somewhat hidden in the fringes of her mind.

  A voice beyond them broke her concentration. “Get a room, Johnson,” it said.

  “Shut up, Josh,” Nate yelled over his shoulder, as he lifted Aurora up and off the hood.

  Unable to stand, she leaned against him, surrendering herself to him. “Who was that?”

  “One of the crew.” His arms drew tighter around her. “Sorry.”

  She shook her head in his arms. “It’s okay. I wanted off anyways.”

  “How’re you doing? You okay?” His eyes laced with concern.

  “As good as I’ll ever be, given the circumstances.” A huge release of air escaped her lungs.

  “Ready for step three?”

  “Is it painful?”

  His laughter melted the edges of her frosted fear. “I truly hope not.”

  She glanced over to the pill container still sitting atop the car. “I want one now. It takes a couple of minutes to kick in anyways. It’ll make whatever you’re wanting me to do a little easier. I think,” she said, drifting off.

  He twisted it open, and hesitantly poured one onto the lid. “For sure?”

  Without another word, she popped it into her mouth. “Okay, what now?”

  He opened the passenger side door, and waved her in.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, right?” Her gaze flickered between him and the passenger seat. Nausea built lightning quick, and she wiped the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand. “You expect me to get into this?”

  “We can try.” He held out his hand.

  Like a leaf in a strong breeze, she gripped it tightly and shook her head. “No. Fucking. Way.”

  “Just try.”

  She wanted to please him, she really did. But this? This was asking a lot. Her stomach did a double flip, and her mouth became dry as cotton. Tripping over her feet, she stepped to the open door and looked inside. It was clean, and well taken care of. Not what she expected. Her eyes flew between Nate and the cloth-covered seat. It didn’t look at all comfortable, it looked like death. And she didn’t know if she could face death today.

  She squeezed his hand even tighter, and gingerly took another step closer. “This is–” she breathed out in two breaths, “insane.” Nate’s face was expectant, and she grimaced, biting her tongue in the process.

  “Baby steps.”

  A wave of anger washed over and out of her, faster than her racing heart. “Baby steps, my ass. This is a fucking ginormous step.” She backed in slowly, lowering herself until her legs gave out and she fell into the seat.

  Suddenly, lights were everywhere, blinding her view. But her ears never stopped working. The high-pitched sounds of twisting metal rang loudly through her head. Plastic interiors snapped and ripped. Glass crunched and crumbled like dry leaves. The smell of fear was overpowering, and ripe with blood. Lots of it although she didn’t know where it came from. The occasional brilliant flash of lightning highlighted the darkened area around her. But worse was the pain. Everywhere. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to move. “No!” she screamed before she passed out.

  A warm arm pressed against her back, wrapping around and holding her waist. A gentle hand caressed her cheek, its trailing fingers lingering along her jawline. She blinked, and when she opened her eyes, she stared into the dark concerned eyes of Nate.

  “Hey,” she breathed out, noting her calm and even breathing. How? When? She turned her head, relieved that she was outside the car, on the sidewalk, five feet from the open car door. “What happened?”

  He shook his head, fear registering in his eyes. “I don’t know. You screamed and passed out. You’d barely even sat down.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, I’m sorry. I pushed you too hard.” He brushed his hand down her cheek again. “I gave you another pill from that container, so you should feel more relaxed.”

  Her arms were loose, and she tried wiggling her fuzzy toes, which felt miles away. “Thank you,” she said, sitting up, although she would’ve liked to enjoy hanging out in Nate’s arm under better circumstances. She shuddered and cowered under the safety of his arms when a low, distant rumble of thunder rolled across the skies.

  “Time to get you home.” He assisted her in standing. “I’ll walk with you, since driving will be an epic mistake.”

  She nodded and attempted a weak smile as he linked his hands through hers. “No, I’ll be okay. It’s less than five minutes.”

  “Sure, any other time you’re practically begging me to come to your place, and here I’m offering, and you’re flatly refusing my offer.” A feeble attempt to make her smile, but it worked.

  She turned to him, and wobbled in her steps. “Fine. Maybe you’d better walk me home. I’m feeling woozy.”

  “Woozy? Is that your technical term?”

  “Fine. I feel like hammered shit. Better?” She gathered up her belongings as Nate closed up the failed attempt to get her into the car.

  After securing the car, he pocketed the keys, replacing them with her hand.

  “My place is a mess, so don’t hold it against me.”

  “How bad can it be?”

  She tried to think about the general lack of order she’d left it that morning. Her alarm failed to wake her, so she slept in. She was sure her breakfast dishes still sat on the counter.

  However, before she knew it, she unlocked her apartment door, and cool air hit her in the face, meaning the air-conditioner worked. “Tada,” she said, stepping inside and kicking her shoes off to the side. “Make yourself at home, and please forgive my mess.” Her purse thumped to the floor.

  He walked into the living room, and admired the paintings hanging on the wall. “Wow, yo
u really like this one artist. There are,” he counted, “seven paintings.”

  “Yeah. They’re my sister Carmen’s, all of them. She was an art major, specialising in Monet style. She was beyond talented.”

  He ran his hands through his hair. “Indeed. I’m sorry.”

  “You’ve nothing to be sorry for.”

  “Her work’s amazing.”

  “It truly is.” Aurora strolled into the galley kitchen. “Can I get you something?”

  He spun around and walked closer to her. “Nah, I’m good.” Glancing around again, he said, “This is a big apartment. Just you?”

  “It was Carmen’s and her two roommates. After she died, my… dad,” she caught herself, “said they could continue to stay until they graduated, as long as they continued to pay their portion of the rent. They left in April after graduating and I moved in. All Carmen’s personal items remain locked up in the third bedroom. I have the master bedroom, and when Dad stays, he uses the guest room.”

  “Good to know.” Nate looped his index finger into the belt straps of Aurora’s pants. “How are you feeling?”

  “A little lightheaded, but that’s to be expected.” She stepped backwards towards the couch, pulling him along. “So, what now? You seemed a little rattled after phase three. Was it scary for you?”

  Nate shivered, and she’d bet her right arm it wasn’t from the air-conditioner blasting at full. “Since I couldn’t see what was going on in your brain, yeah, it was a little scary. Watching you pass out isn’t on my list of things to see again.” Before she could open her mouth, he silenced it with the touch of his finger. “But we’ll figure something out. I promise.”

  “We won’t and I know it.” She tapped the side of her head. “The doctor said PTSD is a powerful thing and I may never get over it. I need to learn to live with it.”

  “But it’s so limiting. It has to be for you. There isn’t much to do around here.”

  “I walk to the mall. It only takes about thirty minutes, and there’s lots to do.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “There are lots of things around here to keep a person entertained. One doesn’t need to go out to have fun. I have a stack of movies, lots of video games and piles of books. And I can get more anytime I want.”

  Nate sighed. “Don’t you want to explore? Go beyond the boundaries of your neighbourhood?”

  “No, I’m quite content here.”

  “Really?” he asked, and slowly turned around whispering, “It’s like you don’t even want to try.”

  “Excuse me? I don’t want to try?” Her arms flailed into the air. “What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing every day for the past two weeks? I’ve been trying, Nate. God-dammit, it’s hard.”

  “I know.” His hands landed on her shoulder.

  She flung them off. “You don’t know and that’s the thing. You think you can waltz into my life and make everything better. Fix my fears. Well this won’t change. I’m afraid of cars and I have every right to be.”

  “Aurora,” he said and lowered his gaze. His voice a low whisper. “I just want to help.”

  “Yeah, and I don’t understand that. You don’t know me. Not really. So what’s in it for you? What do you get out of fixing me?”

  “Nothing, I just want to have you a part of the real world.” She wasn’t sure, but she thought he said under his breath, “Part of my world.”

  She stormed over to the door, yanking it open. “Good night, Nate.”

  “Aurora,” he said, his mouth frozen in place.

  She slammed the door, and crying, dialled. “Hey, we’re still on for tomorrow?”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Flipping through her closet, Aurora tried to find something nice to wear for her dinner with Matthew James. Something nice, not too sexy, not too prudish either. She sorted through her clothes at least a dozen times before finally deciding on a pair of black skinny jeans and a long, flowing royal-blue top. The top was a little lower cut, so she pulled out a push-up bra to wear beneath, although she hoped that the top colour would bring out the blue in her eyes. Then he could talk to her, not her breasts. In order to appear flawless, she dabbed on some makeup, even though the scars on her arms would contradict that. With her feet in a pair of flats, she headed out.

  Her dinner with Matthew James was only a chance to get together and talk. Harmless, right? Yet riddled with anxiety. What if the filter between her brain and mouth malfunctioned? It was hard to believe a celebrity was into her, even if she wasn’t entirely reciprocating the interest back.

  She arrived a few minutes early, and waited. Why was she nervous? So she’d always harboured a little fan-girl crush on him, which lessened considerably after hearing him talk to his manager. But it didn’t hurt that he was off the charts handsome either. She was immoral enough that his looks could exceed his less than desirable personality, and the age difference. But he was still Matthew James, and she was just Aurora.

  She paced in spot another minute further until she saw him. Exiting his black sports car, well-dressed in tight black jeans, suit jacket and light blue shirt unbuttoned at the top. From a distance, he almost looked like Bradley Cooper. He didn’t walk either; he strutted with swagger and purpose, like he owned the place. He radiated confidence and, although she hated to admit it, he fucking oozed sex appeal.

  His face broke into the broadest of smiles when he pulled open the door. “Well, My Lady of the Library. You made it this time.” He reached for her hand, and placed a kiss upon her knuckles. His lips warm and soft. “How are you this fine evening?”

  “I’m good,” she said, her knees buckled briefly. Focus on the reason for being here. You’re not on a date, you’re only discussing the accident and the connection.

  He strutted up to the hostess. “Table for two. Someplace quiet.”

  The waitress appeared to stumble as she grabbed the menus and stuttered, “Yes, sir. Right this way.” She led them to a table, near the back, with a view of the patio.

  “After you, my lady,” Matthew said, waiting as she slid into the booth. He hung his suit jacket on the hook, and sat across from her. “I sat at this exact table when your monstrous friend came over and verbally assaulted me.”

  She huffed, and crossed her feet at the ankles. What a way to start the conversation. “She was sticking up for me. You were a bit of a jerk.”

  His brilliant green eyes lined with lashes almost as dark as his hair, stared at her. “I wish it had been you that had come. To at least speak your mind if nothing else. Have the courage to stand up for yourself instead of having others do it for you.” He nodded at her, sincerity on his face, and a flash of fire in his eyes.

  She snapped herself out of staring when she followed his gaze to her breasts, which until she checked hadn’t realised they were heaving. He was checking her out, and she liked it. Made her feel feminine and attractive. But she needed to focus on the menu. On something else anyways.

  A waiter appeared, and asked what they’d like to drink.

  “My lady?” Matthew asked.

  “A coke is fine.”

  “A coke? Surely the lady would like something stronger. Something adult?” He cocked an eyebrow.

  Aurora glanced up to the waiter. “A coke is fine, with a wedge of lime, please.”

  Matthew looked amused, and smiled. “I’ll have,” he winked. “I’ll have what she’s having. It’s different than my usual.”

  The waiter disappeared and Aurora said, “What do you normally have?”

  “Something laced with alcohol. It takes the edge off.”

  Before she spoke, she twisted in her seat. “Do I make you nervous?” She laughed at the absurdity of it.

  “Yes.” Adjusting the collar of his shirt, he said, “Yes, you do.”

  “Get out.” She smirked and blinked a few times. “I make you nervous? That’s funny.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “You’re a celebrity, a world-famous author. People have heard of you. I’ve
been nervous all afternoon preparing to meet you. And to sit here across from you. Well, it’s inducing high levels of anxiety in me right now.” She tapped her purse as if confirming to herself her Xanax was nearby should she need it.

  His smile was a white, dazzling one, thanks to the companies willing to throw products at him for a couple of endorsements. No one’s teeth were that white and sparkly naturally. “Hard to believe that celebrities are people too?”

  “What?” Her eyes widened, and she glanced around. Surely, others had to have noticed who he was and yet no one paid any attention to them.

  “I’m just as much a human as you. And meeting with such beauty and feistiness makes me very nervous.” He peered at her over the top of his menu.

  She closed her mouth, fearing whatever she wanted to say would be misconstrued and taken the wrong way. Unsure if he would get her sarcastic tongue. He didn’t seem the type to have a witty banter with, like Nate. Matthew seemed light years out of her league.

  “Cat got your tongue?” he asked, and placed the menu along the edge of the table.

  Mirroring his actions, she did the same. “No. I’m in awe.”

  “Of me?” Clapping his hands, he threw his head back. “Really?”

  “Yeah. You’re Matthew James. And yet, you’re sitting here with me. I’m perplexed by it all.”

  “Should I not be charmed by your grace?”

  “I have no grace.”

  “Ah, but you do. I watched you that day. You have a way with people, but yet you don’t know that you have that way. It’s interesting to me.”

  “Because?”

  “My team, they’re as arrogant as they come. That being said, they know what they want, they know how to get it and they know how to get others to assist them. But you, you command an audience without knowing it. Your beauty is astonishing, and from what I’ve seen about you – your quick tongue can give me a run for my money.” He winked. “I like that you won’t take shit from me. And you’ve already told me off a couple of times. No one stands up to me like that.” Matthew leaned in. “I like it.”

  Speechless, she barely rattled off her order when the waiter appeared with their drinks. She took a long drink, the coolness slipped down her dry throat. “So, our reason for meeting tonight wasn’t about you talking about me, but rather this connection. Between us.”