CircleintheSandDraftFinalBarnesNoble

by Owner

  CHAPTER 11 - NED

  I’m at the store, grabbing beer for myself as well as a few things the girls requested. After all these years, I’m still their errand boy. Yes, Pete was right, but for some reason it doesn’t bother me.

  I had considered making an excuse for today, telling them I couldn’t make it, and avoid the overload of emotions and “remember whens” that come with their little reunions. But who am I to deny them when they all want me there so badly. Sage texted me that she hoped I’d make it and needed to ask me something. I wonder what favor I’ll be unable to deny her this time. And, no, it’s not just because she’s tall, blonde, and hotter than the damn Sahara. Pete says Sage friend-zoned me because I’m too nice. I told him to fuck off. How’s that for nice? Besides, there are worse places to be than in the friend zone of any of these ladies.

  When I finish at the store, I head straight over to the house. I open the door and am greeted by a great gust of wind which tells me they have the back door open. I head that way, stopping first to put the bags on the counter. I can see all three of them through the kitchen window. Emily and Jax are in front of the barbecue arguing, while Sage texts in a chair.

  “Dammit! This thing won’t turn on,” Jax says. Her fiery hair glistens in the sun and matches her personality. She is holding a long blue lighter. I can hear a clicking, and I’m not sure if it’s from the lighter or the barbecue. I crack open a Sam Adams and continue to watch.

  “Like I said, you need to turn up the gas all the way,” Emily says.

  “And what if we blow up Jung’s house?” Jax says.

  “We won’t. Eric does this all the time,” Emily says reaching for the lighter. “Let me try.”

  I should probably get back there and help them, but I’m enjoying this too much. I’m ready to pull up a chair when Sage looks up, catching a glimpse of me watching them.

  “Get your ass out here,” she yells, and the other two click their heads my way, brows kinked in the shape of lightning bolts.

  “What?” I say, raising my hands in the air, attempting the innocent routine even with the beer in my hand. “I just got here.”

  I set my beer on the counter and step out onto the patio, knowing exactly what they’ll expect from me and hoping I’ll be able to come through. “Hi, girls. Beautiful day for a barbecue,” I say, even though the long and dingy clouds cast a gray shadow on the ground.

  Emily comes over to greet me and hands me the lighter. “Hey, bro. Can you get this thing going, please?”

  Yeah, sure, give it to the single guy that works fifty hours a week in front of a computer. No problem. There’s nothing worse than women thinking you can do something because you’re a guy. Wait, there is something worse: coming off as a complete loser by not actually being able to do it. I take the lighter from Emily and cross back to the barbecue, smiling at Sage and then Jax on the way. “C’mon, Wonder Woman, you couldn’t get this thing started?” I say. Jax curls one side of her upper lip in a snarl.

  I face the grill and quickly assess what I’m dealing with. It’s not as though I’ve never lit one before. Okay, I have lit one. Jax and Emily hover, while Sage continues to stare at her phone. I note the word light on the big burner dial and there is an automatic ignition button. Great, simple enough. “Did you try turning this to light before pressing the ignition button?”

  All three give me duh looks.

  “Of course we did,” Jax says with an attitude I’ve heard a million times before.

  I ignore the tone and lean down next to the tank. First I check the knob and notice it’s not all the way open. After turning it all the way up, I spot the hole above the tank. I’m ninety percent sure that’s the back-up if the ignition doesn’t work. I stick the lighter in and click it on. Then I reach over and turn the burner knob. Two seconds later fire flares to life. I stand back up, stretching a little taller. “I have given you fire,” I say to Jax in my best caveman voice. “Now lay at my feet so I can pull you into my cave by your hair.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think so,” Jax says and pats me on the back. “But thanks for the fire, Nerdy.” She walks to the back door and into the kitchen, and I follow.

  I’m used to the name, but something sets me off. Is it because she took my pint-sized triumph and found a way to reduce it further? Or is it that after twenty years of trying to break out of Nerdville, I’m so done hearing about it? Whatever the reason, I say, “That Nerdy shit’s getting old, Wonder Woman.”

  Jax reaches for a bag and pulls out the groceries. “Yeah, well I’m not Wonder Woman anymore.”

  “And I’m not Nerdy. Never was, if you ask me.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “Whatever.” I grab my beer and go to walk away. “I don’t know why I bothered coming.”

  “Wait,” Jax says coming up behind me. “Are you leaving?”

  I turn to face her and see concern, or maybe regret, in her green eyes. “Should I?” I down the rest of my beer, playing that it makes no difference to me either way.

  “I’m sorry,” Jax says and catches me by surprise. The empty beer bottle is frozen to my lips and my eyes widen. It’s not as if I’ve never heard her say those words before, but it’s definitely a rare occurrence for Jax to regret anything she says or does. I don’t say a word when she gazes down at her hands. “Please stay. I won’t call you that anymore.”

  I lower the bottle from my lips. “Ever?” I say raising my eyebrows.

  She lifts her head and connects with my eyes. “Ever.” Her hand reaches out and shoves my right shoulder blade. “But no more Wonder Woman either.”

  I grab her wrist before she pulls it away. I miss the days of seeing Wonder Woman in action, but I guess you can’t relive the past. “Deal,” I say. But I’m still holding her wrist and for a moment neither of us moves or says anything. As I peer into the eyes of the girl I watched turn into a woman, I see more changes in her. I don’t suppose that I’ll ever get used to this constant metamorphosis. Women have such basic needs, but their make-up is so complex, like some kind of exotic plant.

  “C’mon,” Emily says coming up behind Jax. “Let’s get this meat going.”

  Jax pulls on her wrist and I release it. She gives me a light smile that seems to say we’re good. I smile back and hand her my empty beer bottle which she takes reluctantly. “You two go ahead. I’ll be right there,” I say.

  I wander down the hall searching for the bathroom and check out the place on the way. After I check a couple of doors, I locate the bathroom and step in. An immediate atmosphere of being backstage at a cabaret show in Las Vegas takes over. You can barely see the white of the counter that’s covered with a million tiny bottles of who knows what crap, there’s a black bra and T-shirt on the toilet seat, and cords from various dryers and irons are tangled in a mess hanging over the edge of the sink. It’s not like we’re going clubbing or attending a wedding, so I’m baffled by this display. I pick up the bra and check the size—34C, which I guess is Sage, but I’m far from an expert. When I see myself in the mirror holding it, I laugh and toss it aside. I did come in here for a reason, so I decide to get to it. I remove the shirt from the toilet seat, set it on the edge of the tub, then I lift the seat. Just when I’m about to take a leak, something catches my eye on the floor behind the toilet. I stare at a long, white, plastic stick as I’m pissing. When I finish, I reach over and pick it up. It takes two seconds before I let out a “shit.” I’ve seen enough of those commercials to know what I’m looking at, but I don’t have any idea why.

  I set it on the counter while I wash my hands, unable to take my eyes off it. I put the toilet lid down, turn and take a seat. “What the hell?” I whisper to myself, staring at it in confusion. It could belong to the people that live here. I flash back to the pictures I saw in the hallway a minute ago—grown sons and a somewhat older couple. Not likely. Which means… My brain runs over possible scenarios, but this is not something you blurt out, “Who saw the new Ironman movie? Oh yeah, and which one of
you got knocked up?” I would say Emily is the most obvious, but after our latest conversation, I’m not sure about that.

  I glance over at the sink and try to determine if all three girls have been using this bathroom even though by the mess it should be obvious. There are three toothbrushes in the holder and three small nylon bags that appear to hold toiletries. “Shit.”

  “What are you doing in there?” I hear after a couple of loud knocks on the door.

  I stand abruptly, as if I’d been caught doing something indecent. The bra thing doesn’t count. I take one last look at the stick. I’m ninety percent sure this thing is supposed to have some kind of lines on it which means no one ever pissed on it. I have no idea what I’m going to do or say when I walk out of here, but for now, I cram it in my pocket and open the bathroom door.

  CHAPTER 12 - JAX

  At just after noon, we’re sitting at the patio table, eating. It’s chilly and we’re wearing sweatshirts, except for Ned. We’re used to winter at the beach and welcome the change in both the weather and the feel around our community. The waves have picked up, causing jet skis and boats to chop across the water. A giant bounce house in the grass area sways in the wind, causing shrieks from kids inside.

  I watch as Emily’s stare gravitates toward the children. She fidgets with her food, probably unsure what to do with a full plate she has all to herself. Sage and Ned make small talk, and I wonder if she’s asking him about that party. I understand she doesn’t want to go alone, but it bothers me that Ned is her back-up. She’s always had a way of getting men to do what she wants.

  We all grow quiet for a time, and then Ned brings up the one thing I don’t want to talk about.

  “So Jax, you still seeing Dale?”

  My stomach feels suddenly empty, even though I had downed two pieces of chicken and slid my teeth across a corn on the cob. Thinking of Dale means thinking of my recent appointment, and I’d worked so hard to forget that. “No, it’s over,” I say. I start to stack everyone’s used paper plates, hoping that will be the end of the conversation.

  “Sorry to hear that. He was pretty cool, except for that hair,” Ned says.

  “What are you talking about, Ned? What’s wrong with his hair?”

  “Are you freakin kidding me?” he says almost laughing. “It’s all long and scraggly, like he thinks he’s Kid Rock or Jesus or something.”

  They all laugh and I do too, thankful for the distraction. “I liked it,” I say. “It made him look rugged.” The eagle tattooed behind his left shoulder was pretty sexy, too. I blink to erase the image.

  “Yeah, but he was no Mr. X,” Sage says.

  “Oh, God, no.” I throw a loose kernel of corn at her. One of the paper plates catches in the wind and almost blows away before I slap a hand down on it.

  “Who’s Mr. X?” Ned says. His face is alight with curiosity.

  I can’t believe this hasn’t been brought up in front of him before. I’m not the type of person to be shy, but this is the one thing I don’t want to share with Ned. I don’t want him to have any more ammunition against me.

  Before I have a chance to answer, Sage jumps in. “He was the best kiss of Jax’s life. I believe she used the word ‘magical’.”

  Crap, I think.

  Ned looks at me as though he’s won the lottery. After agreeing to give up my nickname, he now has something new to tease me with. Through a wide smile, he asks, “He’s the best kiss of your life and you don’t remember his name?”

  “I remember,” I say defensively. “It was Harry…or Harlan…something with an H.”

  “How old were you?” Ned asks.

  Again, the story continues without me when Emily speaks up. “Remember when we all went to Mom’s company picnic our junior year? Sage, I don’t think you were able to go for some reason.”

  “Yeah, my dad probably didn’t want me exposed to the working middle class,” Sage says with a tiny laugh, but we all know that’s probably true.

  “I remember that,” Ned says. “It was boring and mom made me carry all those chairs to some guy’s truck after it was over.” His eyes travel back to me. “So when did this perfect kiss happen…and what was so great about it anyway?”

  “First of all, he was older, so maybe at the time I thought he was more experienced,” I say turning from his stare and trying to sound matter-of-fact. My emotional attachment to this memory always comes out, but I try to keep it reined it. “He had to be at least twenty-one because he was openly drinking a beer, dark hair, five o’clock shadow.” I get up and finally dump the plates I was holding in the trash. Then I drop down in a chair and rest my hands on my knees. “I was sitting on the steps watching the skateboarders dropping into the bowl, and he came and sat down next to me.”

  “What a lech,” Ned says, interrupting me. “He was probably stalking you and saw you wandered off alone.”

  “Let her finish,” Sage says smacking him in the arm. “This is where it gets good.”

  “Anyway, we were just talking. I don’t even remember about what. Then all of sudden he asks if I’ve ever been kissed.”

  “What an ass,” Ned says.

  “Stop!” Emily and Sage yell in unison.

  “So I say, ‘yeah, of course’ but as soon as I say it I realize my stupid mistake. So then I add, ‘but not properly’ and I look him right in the eye. His smile was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. I could tell I’d surprised him. Then he said,”—now Sage and Emily jump in to say their favorite part of the story with me—“‘well, that’s a shame, Darlin’.’”

  “I can’t believe you fell for that,” Ned says. He shakes his head, then gets up to retrieve a beer from the mini-fridge.

  “Do you want to hear the rest of this or not?”

  He takes a long swallow. “I don’t know if I can take any more of this douche. But go ahead.”

  “Harlan—that’s what I’m calling him—tells me he’d like to help me out but there would be too many people watching. He said if I want to make things right to meet him at the big tree right after sundown. And then he walked away. So of course, I’m there at the tree waiting. When the sun was all the way down, I started to get pissed. I don’t know how much time passed, but after a while, I felt like an idiot. I remember looking through the darkness and seeing that people were getting ready to leave, and I figured it was time to give up.”

  Ned is finally captivated by my story and is now hanging on my every word. When I pause, he says, “Well, what happened? Don’t leave me hanging now.”

  “I leaned my back up against the tree and looked into the sky. I was searching for a sign. I told myself that if the star I was looking at sparkled within ten seconds, then it meant he wasn’t coming and I should leave. After five seconds, the star twinkled and I sighed, ready to walk away. But then, I heard him whisper my name from behind the tree. I was so happy he showed, I decided to forget about the star and the fact that he was late. I played along and whispered back. He asked if I was ready or if I’d changed my mind. I whispered that I was ready. He told me to close my eyes and that I had to keep them closed no matter what. I was nervous and excited, so I was happy to oblige him and play along by closing my eyes.” I stop at that point in the story and shrug.

  “So?” Ned says.

  “Sorry, that’s all you get. Someday I might tell you the rest.”

  Emily and Sage have heard the ending plenty of times. When I go back to that moment all those feelings come rushing back, and I’m not sure I want that vulnerability to surface in front of Ned. So I don’t tell him how Mr. X came from behind the tree and stopped in front of me, so close I felt his breath on my lips. And I don’t say how he slipped a hand behind my lower back and pulled me even closer, so that my chest was pressed against his and I gasped. Or how I parted my lips and he whispered into them, “Keep your eyes closed.” There was something so seductive about it, I probably would have done anything he said. Then he brushed the hair from my forehead and slid two fingers down the sid
e of my cheek. He had to have felt the heat on my skin beneath his touch. His lips planted a tiny peck on the corner of my mouth, readying me for his kiss. But instead, his head moved to my neck. He kissed my collarbone and then slid his lips all the way up my neck and to just underneath my jawline, sending electrical shocks to every part of my body. Finally, his mouth made it to mine, hovering over it for a moment, or possibly forever if you ask my heart, then all at once devouring me in a long, slow kiss that somehow had much more meaning than something between two strangers. When he pulled away, and his hand slide from my waist, I kept my eyes shut, hoping to somehow contain the moment. But then suddenly I knew his presence was gone, and I opened my eyes.

  “C’mon, Jax. I won’t laugh,” Ned says. “I promise.”

  I smile and walk to the grill to double check it’s off, content with myself. Sage and Emily love that story because it’s something only I would have done. Whatever they think of me and what I’ve done with my life, I believe there’s always going to be a small part of them that envy that memory. An experience that shows I had no regrets growing up because I lived by instinct. I only wish I could still say that’s true.

  ●●●

  Later, we take chairs down to the grassy area next to the rocks and sand. It’s still fairly cold out, but the wind will soon die down as the sun sets. Despite the temperature, there are people down by the water, and families on the grass and in the play area. Emily and Ned play paddle ball, showing off the fact that they still have the special twin synchronicity.

  Sage and I are watching and I can’t stop myself from counting the number of hits. Ned dives for one that’s too far left and actually saves it. It’s the most sporty thing I’ve seen him do in years. He says he plays basketball with his friends, but I’ve never seen it.