The Gossamer Gate

by Wendy L. Callahan

  “Don’t think of it as an end,” he said. “It’s a beginning for both of us.”

  It was no use fighting him. As much as she hated to use a weapon, she did the only thing she could do – she slid the blade between them, pressing it into his flesh.

  His breathing hitched. He coughed and let go of her. His sputtered “What have you done?” broke her heart. “Iron,” he choked. “Why would you do that?” His fierce gaze changed, sadness filling his eyes. “I was going to give you everything,” he whispered as he faded from view. “Everything…”

  The moment he disappeared from sight, she did the only thing she could do.

  She fled.

  Chapter 3

  She sat upright in bed, squinting in the shaft of sunlight that filtered through the curtains. This was the second night in a row she had dreamed about the horrific events of that night all those years ago.

  Even though she had been trying to ignore the dreams, Khiara reached for the journal that she kept on the bedside table and wrote down the details. It usually did not take long for her to identify clairvoyant dreams. Even though these were dreams of the past, they were raising red flags for her. They felt far too real, and she was not sure if she was simply remembering things all too vividly, or if they were a warning of some sort. She reminded herself once again that it had been almost nine years to the day. With a shudder, she realized that something beyond her control was stirring in this world.

  Could he possibly come back here? Khiara asked herself, her hand pausing and pressing the pen against the pages of her journal as she gripped it. Swallowing her fear, she completed her journaling and threw back the covers of her bed. She would not allow this dread to keep her from living her life.

  Between customers, Khiara was alone with her jumble of thoughts. The dreams of the past two nights weighed on her mind, pushed aside at times with reminders of her embarrassment of the previous night. It was not a good combination. She felt like a complete fool every time she thought about her conversation with Sean. The impulse was to play the events of the evening over and over again in her head, to berate herself about what she had done wrong.

  I did everything wrong. Duh. I am such a mess this weekend.

  When the phone rang at lunchtime, Khiara glanced at the caller ID only to see that it was Sean. She ignored it. She was not ready to deal with her own feelings, let alone deal with him just yet.

  She closed shop at two o'clock as usual for a Saturday. This was her day for visiting the library, and she hoped she might find a distraction there. With her messenger bag slung over her shoulder, filled with books to return, she locked the door and turned down the path. I could use some laughs, she thought with a sigh. Maybe I’ll check out a movie for a change.

  As she walked down the sidewalk, she felt that cold, prickly feeling between her shoulders once more. Her steps faltered and she glanced around, surprised to see that nobody else was out walking, and confirming that nobody was behind her. With a slow look around the area, she kept moving in the direction of the public library.

  As soon as she returned the books and checked out a small pile of DVDs, Khiara stepped outdoors again and scanned the street. The icy feeling had not subsided, and now it came back stronger than before, causing a shudder to ripple through her. The fine hairs on the backs of her arms stood on end, even though she tried to shrug off the sensation. As she stared at the familiar surroundings, she saw Sean’s car pass her, heading toward downtown.

  Turning on her heel and striding in the opposite direction, she shook her head. She was not willing to chance a meeting with Sean. The last thing she needed was to run into him when last night’s humiliation was so fresh in both their minds, not to mention the dreams wreaking havoc on her emotional state.

  Once she was back at the house, she resolved to put everything that had been bothering her behind her for the rest of the weekend. Both the disturbing dreams and the mortifying Friday night were keeping her from functioning like a normal person. Khiara dumped the pile of DVDs on the sofa in the family room, then curled up on the cushions and sorted through the movies. Maybe it’s a side effect of stress. I’m not going to work at all for the rest of the weekend. Everything will be better on Monday.

  ****

  The quiet weekend of watching comedies led to a blissfully uneventful week, during which she immersed herself in work and teaching. By Friday, the universe seemed to have gotten the memo to back off, but…

  Khiara glanced up from her calculator to glare at the calendar. It was another Friday night. The last one seemed so long ago and yet far too clear in her mind. She had to admit to herself that she dreaded the inevitability of facing Sean tonight.

  “Why do you look so worried?” Cate asked as she shelved books. “You’ve been quiet all week, and I gave you the space you needed to do your work. But today you look downright nauseated.”

  “I told Sean,” Khiara groaned as she let her head smack against the counter.

  “Told Sean what?”

  “That I have a crush on him,” she mumbled against the glass.

  Cate stopped what she was doing, the latest Silver Ravenwolf book dangling from her fingers. “You didn’t.”

  “I did.” She straightened and rubbed at her forehead.

  “Oh my Goddess.” She put the book in its proper place and hurried to pull a stool up to the front counter, facing Khiara. “Why didn’t you tell me about it this week? What did he say when you told him? Are you alright?”

  “Um, I was too angry at myself to really say anything to anybody, even you. I did it last Friday night. He offered to walk me home and…” Khiara shrugged as she shook her head, exhaling through pursed lips. “I couldn’t help it. It was a beautiful summer night and we were alone together in the dark. Part of me hoped he would say that was just the moment he was waiting for. I hoped he might grab me and kiss me.”

  “How very Some Kind of Wonderful of you,” Cate teased without a trace of humor in her voice.

  Khiara sighed and said, “And then the logical, intelligent, not-insane part of me told me that I was just setting myself up for a huge letdown. But I just blathered on anyhow, telling him how I’ve been in love with him for a few years now.”

  Cate canted her head to one side at her friend’s words. “Well, since you pretty much always listen to that not-insane part of you, I don’t think it’s so bad that you gave in to the emotional side for once. You’re only human.”

  “Maybe, and he rejected me for certain but, shit, I can’t stop thinking about him!” Khiara cried, letting the calculator clatter to the counter. “I want him so much, I’m not sure I can be in the same room as him. I thought saying something would actually help me start to get over him. I knew that I couldn’t have him, and I thought that if he confirmed it, my feelings would start to change.”

  “Well, sweetie, it takes more than a week to get over somebody.” It was one of those rare moments of clarity that the usually mischievous Cate had.

  “Yes, and I know that. It also takes more than a week to stop feeling like such a complete fool.” Khiara picked up the calculator and shoved it in a drawer, which she slammed shut. “Do I avoid gaming tonight and leave more questions than answers, or just get back on the horse?”

  “Go to Sean’s tonight. Face your emotions now and get it over with,” Cate advised. “Otherwise, you’ll wallow in the whole thing and draw it out longer than necessary. The not-insane part of you knows that.”

  “Yes, it does.” Khiara bent her head to the counter once more. “But the humiliated part of me says that it would be easier to just stay home and pretend Sean doesn’t exist.”

  “It would be easier,” Cate agreed. “And the following week, it would be easier to stay home, rather than face first the question of whether or not you’re doing okay after admitting that you’re in love with him and the question of why you’re avoiding him. And every week you hide out will just make it more difficult for you to face him, and for your friendship to cont
inue as normal.”

  “I know that.” Khiara could not seem to stop herself from groaning every time she spoke.

  “Besides, it’s not like he went out on one date with you and never called you again, like Barden.” Cate walked back to the bookshelf.

  “What?” Khiara responded incredulously, lifting her gaze to her friend.

  “That’s right. I thought we had a great time together, and he never called.” Cate shrugged and finished shelving the books. “I should have known he was too good to be true. He was everything I ever wanted in a man. But that’s life, and life goes on, regardless of whether or not the man of our dreams is a part of it. Understand?”

  Khiara nodded and said, “Yes, you’re right. I’m going to get ready to go now. Besides, I do have to leave the game early tonight and I have a very good excuse for it.”

  “Oh? And what excuse is that?”

  “I have a date.” Khiara did not sound quite as excited as Cate would have, and she realized that the way she phrased the remark made it sound more like a question.

  Cate’s smile brightened. “You haven’t gone on one in a while, so, this is a good thing for you! Try to have fun and just focus on the game, and then all the fun things that might happen on your date tonight.”

  “Alright.” Khiara rose from behind the counter to give one of her rare hugs to Cate. “Thank you for being right,” she said as she flashed her first real smile in a week.

  “No problem. I don’t mind being right every so often, but only for my best friends.” Cate went back to the bookshelves to finish her task, while Khiara ran upstairs to freshen up for the evening.

  After a shower, Khiara went to the closet to pull out an outfit that she rarely wore. She had to admit to herself that she liked having a good reason for wearing a dress. The short, red and black plaid dress was a departure from her usual jeans and t-shirts. She knew it was a bit over the top for ice cream, but since she finally accepted Matt’s invitation, she thought they both deserved a real date. So she would treat it like one.

  “That is how you get back on the horse,” she told her reflection in the mirror as she ran her brush through her hair one last time.

  With a toss of her head and a mischievous grin, she turned on her heel, grabbed her messenger bag, and walked downstairs. Cate had already finished her work of tidying the shop and departed for the weekend. Khiara double-checked that the shop and the house were clean, and then headed out the front door.

  As she walked down the street, she felt the sinister chill blossom between her shoulders. “Oh no, no, no,” she whispered, spinning on her heel to look around the area. “Not tonight!”

  Khiara’s senses told her she was getting more than the random ogle. Her skin tingled with a sense of remembered, and all-too-familiar, danger. Her apprehension about seeing Sean again was miniscule in comparison to the fear now radiating through her.

  She quickened her pace and breathed a sigh of relief when she entered Sean’s home. In a moment, her anxiety about someone or something watching her had faded. Unfortunately, nervousness took its place, leaving her with a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had gone from one uncomfortable situation into another, and she was almost tempted to go back outside to face the unknown threat. “What the hell is going on with weekends?” she snarled under her breath.

  “Do you always talk to yourself?”

  She whirled around and tried to smile at Sean, who stood in the doorway between the living room and the dining room. His eyes widened when she faced him and she felt somewhat mollified by his expression.

  “Sometimes it’s the only way I get interesting conversation,” she quipped, then tossed her head in her effort to feign nonchalance. “Are we ready to play?”

  When she strode past him into the dining room, it was hard to ignore the fact that the other guys stopped speaking and actually stared at her, just like Sean. It was even harder to ignore their reactions when Josh handed her a soda and said, “You look hot!”

  “Good. That was the intention,” she responded with a flirtatious smile.

  One of the other guys said, “Oh my gosh Khiara, you have legs!”

  “And very nice ones at that,” Josh said, his appreciative glance lingering on her legs so long, it made her skin tingle. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

  “One of my students.” Khiara dug into her bag for her book and dice.

  “Well, damn, girl.”

  “Are you leaving early?” Sean asked as he sank down into his chair.

  “Yeah, but not too early,” she answered. “He’s picking me up at eight o’clock or so. I hope you don’t kill my character off while I’m gone.”

  “I’ll try to control myself,” Sean said wryly, his gaze on Khiara.

  Khiara was trying to simultaneously ignore him and gauge his reaction. She had not accepted the date with Matt in hopes of making Sean jealous. She was too practical for that, and certainly not desperate or shallow enough to try to incite envy in anybody for any reason. However, she would have been lying to herself if she did not admit that she hoped for some sort of reaction akin to protectiveness from him.

  With a toss of her head, she laid her character sheet and dice on the table, and said, “Let’s do this.”

  As the game progressed, Josh’s flirtation with her became bolder. He was the group’s token womanizer, and she knew better than to encourage his attentions. The air was heavy with tension throughout the night, until a knock at the door made Khiara leap off the bench, knocking her book, papers, and dice everywhere.

  “I think that’s for me,” she said with a giggle as she shoved everything back in her bag. Paper crinkled beneath her book, but she ignored it.

  “Why are you so damn jumpy?” Sean asked, watching her movements.

  “Excuse me?” Khiara looked up at him. “Oh, I guess…” There was another knock and she slung her bag over her shoulder. “I’ll see you guys next weekend.”

  “By the way,” Sean said. “Your character is trapped together in the cave and you’ll pretty much die, unless the party decides to rescue you.”

  Khiara hesitated on the threshold and glared at him. “That’s kind of bullshit, Sean.”

  “It’s my game.”

  She gaped at him for a moment, then shook her head, bit back her retort, and flung open the door. Matt stood on the front step, fist poised to knock again. “Wow,” he said after a breath.

  “Thanks. Let’s go.” Khiara shut the door behind her and followed him to his car. As she slid into the passenger seat, she realized that feeling of being watched had resumed when she stepped outdoors. It wasn’t quite as strong as it had been during her walk earlier, but there was a definite presence there. She took a deep breath and turned to Matt as he got into the driver’s side.

  “So, are you ready for ice cream?” he asked, as he turned the key in the ignition.

  “No,” she answered softly. “Do you want to come back to my place?”

  He looked up at her and then down at her dress. “Oh, wow…”

  “Good.” She relaxed in the seat and said, “You know where I live.”

  Matt nodded. “For the record, I’m not going to say anyone about tonight, whatever happens.”

  Khiara smiled at him. Out of all her students, he was one of the sweetest, the nicest. She knew he was telling the truth. “I just need something else right now,” she said in a soft voice. “We can always have that ice cream later.”

  It was a short ride down the street to her house. Khiara slid out of the car and led Matt up the path.

  Don’t forget.

  She turned to look back at the street, and pushed a stray strand of hair off her face as a breeze sprang up, whispering through the leaves, the flowers, and the grass.

  I still need you. This mortal cannot keep me from you.

  Khiara squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on the feeling of the ground beneath her feet. She fought back against the chill that tried to wrack her body, against the pull of the
whispers.

  Nine years. The dry words rustled against her like autumn leaves.

  Her eyes snapped open and she turned to jam her key into the lock. “No fucking way,” she retorted under her breath. “You won’t take me.”

  As soon as she and Matt were inside, that feeling of someone watching her disappeared once more, but now she knew... This sense of hide-and-seek with the unseen presence she had tried for so long to forget was now making her angry.

  Without a word, she put her hands on Matt’s shoulders and kissed him. I’ll show you, she thought. I never was yours, and I never will be.

  Matt’s arms went around her waist and his hands began to roam her body. Khiara felt instantly turned on as he touched her. It had definitely been far too long since she had been with anybody, since someone else had touched her intimately. If she could trust Matt to be discreet, then she saw no harm in turning an innocent flirtation into a mutually beneficial one-night-stand.

  Somehow they made it up the stairs and into her bed, even though they had yet to take their hands off of one another. Khiara straddled him, not even bothering to take off her clothes. All she wanted at this moment was to forget all the strangeness of the past two weeks, to show the past it had no place in the present.

  Tonight felt like her last chance to… What?

  Whatever it was, she felt like it was imperative that she make one last attempt to hold on to this world, before another tried claim her once again.

  Chapter 4

  Matt surprised her by sleeping over that night, and then running out for coffee and bagels in the morning, while she showered and dressed. “I wish I was smooth enough to do the pancake or waffle thing,” he said with a laugh as they sat in the kitchen, eating their breakfast, “but I’m just not that talented.”

  “Then it’s a good thing I love bagels and the occasional coffee,” Khiara retorted with a playful grin. Part of her felt much better than she had in the past couple of weeks; after all, last night had been not just an ego-stroke for her, but had relieved a great deal of tension that she hadn’t realized she was carrying.