The Best-Kept Secret

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Okay, Dad, but call me when you leave the park, okay?”

  “I will.”

  “Love you, Dad.”

  “Love you, too, Matthew.”

  Curtis was so tired of shedding tears over his son that he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so sad, so hurt, and so angry all at once. There were so many emotions boiling inside him, and he was terrified that the DNA test would prove what he didn’t want to hear. He wanted to know the truth, but then again, he didn’t want to. He dreaded thinking about the possible outcome.

  He pulled into a gas station, placed his gear in park, and dialed Alicia’s line but didn’t get an answer. Then he tried Tanya and James’s number, since Tanya was the person he really wanted to speak to.

  “Hello?” she said.

  “How are you?”

  “I’m fine, Curtis. How are you?”

  “Can you talk?”

  “Sure. What about?”

  “What I mean is, is James there?”

  “No, he’s out golfing, and Alicia is at a carwash fund-raiser for cheerleading.”

  “Oh.”

  “So what’s up?”

  “No, the question is, what isn’t?”

  “Is this something I need to sit down for?”

  “Maybe.”

  “You’re not sick, are you?”

  “Hmmph. No, nothing like that.”

  “Okay, now what’s going on?”

  “You know my friend Aaron?”

  “Yes. Your best friend.”

  “Well, Charlotte has been sleeping with him.”

  “No way.”

  “She has. And worse than that, she doesn’t know for sure if Matthew is my son, because she was sleeping with her cousin’s husband during the same time she was with me.”

  “What?”

  “It’s true. And it’s taking everything in me not to kick her out.”

  “I know you’re hurt and you have a right to be, but Charlotte is still Matthew’s mother.”

  “And if it wasn’t for him, I’d be filing for a divorce on Monday. And if I could take Matthew away from her, I would.”

  “Have you spoken with her?”

  “Last night, but then I left and got a hotel room. And this morning when I came back, I didn’t say any more to her than I had to, because I don’t see where there’s anything to talk about.”

  “What about Aaron? Have you spoken to him?”

  “Not since he called to tell me about Matthew.”

  “I’m confused.”

  Curtis explained the whole scenario to Tanya, and of course, she was stunned.

  “I can’t believe this,” she said.

  “Well, believe it, because it’s all true. And I’m telling you, Tanya, the more I sit here thinking about Aaron and the way he smiled in my face, the more I know I can’t let him get away with it.”

  “Look, I know you’re upset, but you can’t start thinking like that. Going to jail just isn’t worth it. And if you don’t consider anything else, you need to remember Alicia and Matthew. They need their father, and there won’t be a thing you can do for them behind bars.”

  “But if Matthew isn’t my son, then what?”

  “Then you’re going to have to accept it and figure out how to deal with it. Because regardless of whether he is or not, you still need to be there for him. He’s only a child, and none of this is his fault.”

  “But it won’t be that easy. I know you don’t understand, but finding out that Matthew belongs to someone else will be no different than cutting off my right arm. It will be the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”

  “You said the same thing when you had to leave our church and when we got divorced, but eventually you were able to move on.”

  “This is different. This is about my being completely dedicated to a woman and having her betray me in the worst way. Not only did she sleep with my best friend, but she led me on about Matthew. She used and manipulated me to get what she wanted.”

  Tanya didn’t comment.

  And Curtis knew why.

  “As much as I hate to say this, you did the same thing to me,” she finally said. “You did the same thing to Mariah, and you and I both know you hurt a lot of other people along the way.”

  “And I’ll be sorry for that for the rest of my life. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret what I did to you and Alicia. What I destroyed.”

  “It took me a long time to get past the pain, but I did. And so will you.”

  “No, that’s where you’re wrong. I won’t ever get over this. I won’t ever trust another man or woman.”

  “But what if Matthew is your son? Because there is a good chance he is.”

  “I don’t know. Because I just don’t know if I could stay married to Charlotte. I resent her too much, and I’m not sure I could even stomach her on a daily basis.”

  “But she’s your wife, Curtis.”

  “And?”

  “You need to try to work things out with her.”

  “Please. She should just be happy she still has a house to sleep in or that I haven’t slit her throat.”

  “Okay, look. You’re taking this too far. I know Charlotte was wrong, but Curtis, you’ve done just as much or worse than she has. I’m not saying that that justifies her actions, because it doesn’t, but you slept around on me for years, and I forgave you. It took me a while, but still, I forgave you. But most of all, you asked God to forgive you for everything. And Curtis, you and I both know, you did a lot of terrible things. Some things are too terrible to ever bring up again.”

  He knew she was telling the truth, but he didn’t want to hear it. Not when this truth about him wasn’t eliminating his pain. Not when nothing he’d ever done could compare to the sins Charlotte had committed. Not when Aaron was probably sitting around right now laughing at the way he’d deceived Curtis. It was all enough to make Curtis ill. He wanted revenge more than ever.

  “I hear what you’re saying, but it’s not helping me,” he said.

  “Then what you need to do is pray. You’re a minister, Curtis. A pastor of a church.”

  “But I’m also human just like everyone else.”

  “I realize that, but you’re supposed to react a lot differently to adversity than the average person. I’m not saying you can help the way you feel, but as a minister, you should be asking God to help you. You should do exactly what you tell your members to do when they find themselves in unbearable situations. You need to listen to your own advice.”

  “That’s easier said than done.”

  “But it’s possible.”

  “I don’t know whether it is or not, because at the moment, I’m not sure of anything. I don’t even know if returning to the pulpit again was the right thing to do.”

  “Why? Because you’re having a few problems in your life?”

  “No, because I don’t see what good the pulpit is doing for me. I don’t see how being a minister and preaching the Word is helping anyone, because it certainly isn’t helping me.”

  “What you need to do is find a quiet place to meditate. And you need to do it immediately.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Promise me that you will.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “Trying isn’t good enough.”

  “Well, that’s the best I can do.”

  “You know that’s not true. And if you won’t do it for yourself, then do it for your children. You need to be there for them, and you can’t be there when you’re feeling like this.”

  “Hey, Tanya, thanks for listening, okay. I really appreciate it.”

  “So what does that mean? You don’t want to hear any more of what I’m saying?”

  “No, it’s nothing like that. But I really need to get to the park. Our church picnic is today.”

  “Whatever you say, Curtis. I just hope you don’t do anything you’ll have to pay for later.”

  “I won’t.”

  �
�I’m serious.”

  “So am I.”

  “Then I’ll let you go.”

  “Take care, and tell Alicia I’ll speak to her later.”

  “I will.”

  Curtis sat quietly, yet furiously, trying to figure out which direction he should drive in. To the picnic, back home, or over to Aaron’s. If he went back home, he couldn’t be responsible for what might happen to Charlotte. If he ended up over at Aaron’s, he couldn’t guarantee much different for him. If he went to the picnic the way he’d planned, he wouldn’t have to hurt anybody. He wouldn’t have to do something drastic. At least not today, anyway. But the two of them would get what they had coming to them. There just wasn’t any way around it.

  After praying for just over an hour, Charlotte picked up the phone and dialed Anise’s number. It rang a number of times, until the voice system answered. Charlotte wanted to leave a message but couldn’t. She wanted to apologize profusely and explain her side of the story, but she simply didn’t have the strength to. So she called Curtis instead.

  “What?” he answered.

  “Curtis, please don’t hang up. Please come back and talk to me.”

  “No.”

  “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

  “Charlotte, how many times are you planning to say that?”

  “As many times as I have to.”

  “Well, I wish you would stop it, because it’s not helping you, and it doesn’t change the way I feel.”

  “But I love you, Curtis. I’ve always loved you no matter what.”

  “And? What do you want me to do, give you some prize for it?”

  “No. I’m just trying to make you see that this was all a mistake.”

  “Call it whatever you want, but you and Aaron knew exactly what you were doing.”

  “Curtis, you and I have been through so much together, so please don’t throw our marriage away like this.”

  “You’re the one who threw it away when you lied to me about Matthew and when you decided to sleep with another man. Now, unless you have something important to say, let’s end this pointless conversation.”

  “What about tonight at home, can we talk then?”

  “I won’t be there.”

  “Curtis, please. I’m begging you.”

  “And you’re wasting your time, too.”

  “But what about Matthew? What is he going to think if he comes home and realizes that things aren’t the same between us?”

  “That’s your problem. You caused all of this, so you figure it out.”

  “Fine, Curtis.”

  “And when you see me at the picnic, don’t come over to me acting like we’re so in love with each other, because if you do, you’ll get your feelings hurt. Right in front of everybody. Now, good-bye.”

  Charlotte hung up and tried to pretend that none of this was real. It was the only way she could keep her sanity.

  Chapter 21

  AN ENTIRE WEEK HAD PASSED; IT WAS NOW SATURDAY AGAIN, YET CURTIS still hadn’t said more than two words to Charlotte— that is, outside of answering her questions. He’d even kept his promise about the church picnic and hadn’t acknowledged her one time. He hadn’t even cared that some of the members had noticed it. Then on Tuesday, he’d driven over to Chicago to pick up Matthew, but he’d made it very clear that he didn’t want her riding with him. She’d asked him why he was being so cruel, but he’d given her a very strong look of hatred. He’d told her in no uncertain terms that he didn’t care how badly she wanted to see Matthew, she wasn’t going. He hadn’t even flinched when he’d seen her doubled over in tears. He’d grabbed his keys, walked out of the house, and started on his way without her. She hadn’t even had the strength or the will to try and reason with him. She knew it wouldn’t have made any difference if she had.

  But now, she was headed over to her aunt Emma’s, preparing to apologize for all the confusion she’d caused with Anise. Charlotte had phoned her aunt first thing that morning to see if it would be okay for her to drop by, and her aunt had told her to come any time after two. Currently, it was only minutes before three o’clock. She’d planned on getting out of the house somewhat earlier, but she’d been trying to spend as much time with Matthew as Curtis allowed. Ever since Matthew had returned home, Curtis had been spending every single evening with him, right up until bedtime, not leaving any quality time for her. But it was almost as if Curtis dared her to say anything about it. And she didn’t. He’d become even colder when he’d learned yesterday that the DNA test was scheduled for the day after tomorrow.

  Charlotte drove in front of her aunt’s home and regretted choosing today as the day she would visit. Anise’s SUV was parked in the driveway. Charlotte turned off the ignition and sat in her vehicle for a few minutes, praying that Anise wouldn’t go off on her. She hoped that Anise would listen to what she had to say and then find it in her heart to forgive her.

  She stepped out of the car, set her security system, and waved at the woman who lived next door. She was an elderly woman who no one ever seemed to visit, not even her three grown children, so Aunt Emma always went over to check on her or take her food when she cooked. But that was just like Aunt Emma to do for others who couldn’t necessarily help themselves.

  Charlotte walked up the three steps, rang the doorbell, and waited. Her heart rate picked up speed slowly but surely, and Charlotte hoped with everything in her that her aunt would be the one to open the front door. She simply didn’t know how she would ever be able to face Anise without talking to her by phone first. She wanted to and, of course, had tried to call her many times since that wretched incident with Aaron, but Anise had refused to answer the phone. Charlotte had even tried calling her at work, but each time Anise’s assistant had told Charlotte that Anise wasn’t available. Charlotte could tell the assistant was lying and hadn’t felt comfortable doing so.

  When Charlotte heard the door being unlocked, she looked up, saw her aunt Emma, and felt somewhat at ease. She walked in and hugged her immediately. She held onto her longer than usual and didn’t want to let go.

  “Charlotte, please,” Anise said. “You can stop the drama any time now.”

  “Anise!” Aunt Emma scolded. “Don’t.”

  Charlotte walked into the house and looked at Anise, who was standing in the dining room.

  “All of a sudden, you’re so pitifully innocent,” Anise continued. “Well, sweetheart, you might have Mom fooled, but I know exactly who you are. A lying, manipulating adulteress who will sleep with anything that walks. In a word, you’re a straight-up whore.” Anise turned to Emma. “And Mom, I’m sorry for speaking this way in front of you, but I’m not about to let Miss Thing waltz in here, acting like she’s the victim. I can’t believe you had the nerve to drive your butt over here in the first place. Why don’t you go visit your own mother? Because we all know that she would clearly understand what it’s like to sleep with someone else’s husband. Hell, she slept with her own sister’s fiancé herself. But as they say, the apple never falls too far from the tree, and you’re proof of it.”

  “Anise, look,” Emma said. “I know you’re upset, but try to calm yourself down. Charlotte, you come in and have a seat.”

  “Hmmph,” Anise grunted, rolling her eyes at Charlotte and leaving the dining room.

  “Aunt Emma, I am so sorry. I’m so sorry I don’t know what to do. But I can’t change what happened. I wish I could, but I can’t.”

  “I know, baby, but you have to understand how Anise feels, too. She’s loved and trusted you like a sister for years and even more so since you and Curtis moved here. And I have to tell you, Anise is the type of person who will be there for you for all eternity until you cross her. She is not good with forgiving people who betray her. It’s the one thing I’ve always had to talk to her about.”

  “But I was so young back then. I mean, I know I was wrong for what I did with David, but he was the adult.”

  “What did you say?” Anise roared, walking back
into the dining room.

  Charlotte was afraid to blink, let alone answer any questions.

  “Did you say, you were young and David was the adult? Because if that’s the case, then why have you been sleeping around with Aaron, knowing that you’re married to Curtis? And what about some man you supposedly slept with the night before your wedding? And don’t get me started on some professor Aaron said you were sleeping with when you were in school.”

  Charlotte wanted to turn around and rush out the door. She’d known that Aaron had probably told Anise everything the same as he’d told Curtis, but she didn’t want her aunt hearing about any of it. She didn’t want her aunt thinking badly of her from now on. She wished Anise would stop this rampage she was on.

  “And what about all those credit card applications you forged your husband’s name on? I mean, I had to be out of my mind to let you use my address. I was just as wrong as you were, and I regret letting you use me to go behind Curtis’s back.”

  Charlotte was speechless, yet still in tears.

  “You might as well stop all that crying, because the bottom line is that you slept with my husband, and you did it in my bed. I mean, what were you thinking?”

  “Anise, I know how you feel,” Emma said. “Lord knows I do, but you and Charlotte are blood cousins, and blood relatives should try to get along with each other. Everyone makes mistakes, but we all have to get past them.”

  “Maybe. But not in this case. And for the record, I’m through with Charlotte for good because I don’t want anything to do with a person who lies and cheats just to get what they want from people. Charlotte cares about Charlotte and nobody else.”

  Anise was discussing Charlotte as if she wasn’t even sitting there. Charlotte wanted to explain herself, but she knew there was little if anything she could say that would make Anise listen to her. Anise was fuming, and Charlotte realized it was probably better to just keep quiet. Anise looked as though she was ready to fist-fight.

  “Mom, I’m really sorry for disrespecting you and your house,” Anise continued. “You know I’ve never done that before, but this whole thing is far too much for me. And that’s why it’s probably best that I go,” she said, lifting her handbag from the chair she was standing in front of.