Looking beat and exhausted, Marlene and Michael laid one of those you’re the man goodbyes on me before they headed out. This left Nique and I alone in my kitchen to do what single people do.
“If you don’t mind me asking, Omari, what’s up with the Barry White and Scotch night thing that you guys got going on? I mean that sounds like something I could get into.”
“I know that’s right. But t’be honest, it’s just a little something that I do for all of the old heads in my life. Gotta keep the original life bringers happy you know.”
“Life bringers huh? I like that. Well, if you ever wanna a little more old school female flavor, I’m your girl.” “I see, but I guess I should be honest here with you huh?”
“About what?”
“About my Barry White and Scotch night.”
Nique seemed a little confused, and as much as I hated to explain.
“Sometimes, we have a little shoe modeling going on that night, if you know what I mean.”
“Are we talking boy shoes or girl shoes here?”
“Girl shoes, for sure.”
“Oh okay, well I don’t have a problem with that. But I still love scotch, and on top of that, I own everything that Barry White has ever made. I guess I’m just a good Creole at heart.”
“So you’re from New Orleans huh?”
“Five years removed.”
Not knowing what else to say, “I’ve heard all about the women from New Orleans.”
“Trust me, half of it is true, than again that depends solely upon your state of mind Omari. Are you into fabrications, or must you have the real thing?”
“I guess I’m down with the real thing.”
“And your interpretation of that is?”
“Not to brag or anything, but there isn’t a single fabricated thing on my body. This is how God made me. If this was good enough for him, it’s good enough for me. So yeah, give me the real thing any day, be it good or bad.”
“So I take it you like your women the same way?”
Feeling like I just walked into a trap, I took a quick glance at Nique’s hair to see if I had just screwed up. To my relief it was short, natural and pretty sexy looking. The coast was clear, moving on brother, moving on.
“That was well done, you almost had me.”
“Wasn’t trying to get you.”
“Yeah right. Anyway some say you are what you eat Nique. So yeah, I guess I do like my women that way.”
“Figured that.”
“That’s funny, but I’ve never ever told myself that before.”
“Cool, you taught me a little something-something in the kitchen, and I brought something of a revelation into your life. I guess we’re even, huh?”
“Not if I have to clean this kitchen by myself. Are you coming to my dinner party?”
“Dinner party, I don’t know if I’ll be able to…”
“It’ll be a shame if you didn’t get the chance to eat some of the food that you helped create.”
“I would love to enjoy the fruits of my labor, but I already made plans for dinner.”
“I didn’t mean to be so forward,” I said as I chewed on my lower lip.
“It’s not like that Omari.”
“Yo I’m good, it’s okay.”
“I’m not a real big football fan.”
“Which means you don’t want to feel out of place, right?”
“Well, yes and no. It’s just that, I did have other plans, and I hate to…”
“That’s fine, kick off is at four, and dinner will be at around six, which means I’ll fix you a plate in case you decide to come over.”
She smiled nervously before she said, “All right, I guess I may or may not see you later.”
Feeling stupid, I agreed before I walked her out, and even before my front door closed, I started calling myself all sorts of obscene names before I ended up back in my dirty ass kitchen. I didn’t feel like cleaning it, nor did I like the person who needed to clean it. That’s why I decided to give Zackary a call.
“What up Omari.”
“Check this out.”
“Aw’ight, I’m there.”
“You’re never there, so just lemme say what I hafta say before you start interrupting.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“I had the chance to meet Michael’s girlfriend today and…”
“Beautiful isn’t she?”
“I thought I asked you not to interrupt me Zach.” “My bad, go on.”
“She was here with a friend to get a few cooking lessons and…”
“I hope it went down better than me and Sarah’s lesson. You know that whole taste as you go along thing is way over…”
“Are you going to lemme finish or what?”
“My bad, go right ahead.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“As I was saying, she brought over a friend for me to meet right. And um well, after we finished cooking, I sort of asked if she wanted to come to dinner tonight.”
“I don’t have a problem with that.”
“But she told me that she had other plans.”
“And.”
“So of course I was a little disappointed because I sort of liked her style.”
“That’s why you asked her out.”
“I guess so, but was inviting her to a dinner party a real date Zach?”
“Get it where you can get it, Omari. Anyway, if you ask me, I’d say there wasn’t anything wrong with you asking her. In fact, I wouldn’t have taken no for an answer.”
“I thought you would say that, and that’s exactly how I felt in the beginning. So I sort of pressed her about coming tonight, and to be honest with you, I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“I’m feelin’ that first move, so what’s the problem?”
“I just don’t understand why I tried to force her into something that she wasn’t interested in. On top of that, why do I feel so damn desperate and unsure all of sudden?”
There was a slight pause before Zackary finally spoke up. “First of all, how much pressure are we talking here? I mean, you didn’t throw one of those all out blitzes of yours on her did you?”
“Hell no, I gave that up after the twins were born.” “Okay, well there’s your problem brother man.”
“This dumbfounded look on my face is there for a reason Zach.”
“That’s what I figured, look don’t take anything I’m about to say personal.”
“Done.”
“Good, because you’re one horny ass brother my friend!”
“First I was gay, now I’m horny as hell. Is there anything else you wanna add?”
“I didn’t know any other way to say it without sounding like Doctor Phil. Look, we’re grown ass men right Omari?”
“Most of the time, why?”
“I’ll break this down for you seeing how you’re the one going through it.”
“Break it down brother.”
“You got jokes, anyway it’s like this, as of right now, that brain of yours is attached directly to your dick, which means you have no idea what’s going to come out of that mouth yours until it happens. Don’t feel bad, because we all go through it at one time or another.”
“So you’re saying I have zero confidence?”
“Brother your confidence is down to the negative integers; however, I think you did a good thing by asking her out.”
“Yeah, right. Look, I got some stuff to do, so I guess I’ll see you later.” I said before I hung up feeling flat out unwanted; which explained why I ended up in my kitchen.
This time around, I was working on an ice sculpture that was supposed to adorn the center of my serving table during the dinner party. The last time I tried ice sculpturing, my supposedly leaping dolphin ended up looking more like a floating catfish. I could have and probably should have called my on call ice sculptor, Damien. however I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. That’s why I decided to go it alone. A co
uple of minutes after trying to chisel out that majestically high flying dauphin, I eventually gave up and thought about somebody that wasn’t thinking about me.
“Man, I wish Olivia was here.” I said before I picked up the phone and called Damien.
It’s Party Time
The lights inside my crib were set on low, while a dozen or so custom made graffiti posters decorated most of my walls in attempt to capture my urban inspired childhood. The large multi colored graffiti posters and the dim lights should have been enough to recapture that up beat nineteen eighties mood that I was aiming for, but it wasn’t. So, I asked Boney to play my entire collection of old school hip-hop to complete the picture. He did as he was told and everything immediately started looking up.
Generally, an Omari Willingham party wasn’t a real party if there wasn’t an ongoing theme that didn’t flabbergast the unsuspecting partygoer. I was an expert at befuddling people, so most of my parities had that desired overwhelming effect. However if the food, booze and the party props failed to excite, the sturdy aroma of imported incense that smartly cloaked a scent of some very expensive burning pot would surely carry the day.
The guests at one of my Sunday dinner parties varied outside of my normal circle of friends, because I tended to get a few uninvited guess. Mostly, it was few of the homeless guys that loitered around the neighborhood looking for a drink or something worse. In the end, I usually fed them and even gave them a drink or two before I sent them about their way. Sharing just a sample of my weed was usually out of the question, and they knew it. The other acts of kindness was something that I watch my grandmother and my mother do while I was growing up in North Philly, which meant I would never turn anyone away. However, this dinner party was a little different because it seemed like everybody and their mother decided to stop by to either eat or drink. Outside of the homeless, I should have started charging a fee because I ended up cooking more food and serving more drinks than I had planned.
After the rush hour crowd thinned out, my normal group of friends made themselves at home. That list included the Minister C.L.R. Douglas and his beautiful wife Cece. Cece and I worked our way through college together, so we were pretty close. My big sister Deanna and her new boyfriend at the moment were present and Zackary and his lady and Michael and Marlene completed the rest of the picture.
I was about to settle down and relax when the doorbell rang again. Feeling like I gave all that I could for one day, I thought about not answering; however I jumped up and headed to the kitchen to see who it was. To my surprised, I discovered Nique standing out in the cold looking ready to be out of the cold. Surprised by her sudden appearance, I took a moment to think about what I was going to say to her before I buzzed her up. A few seconds later she stood in my doorway looking put off and worried before she gave me a look that said, surprise, here I am.
“I’m glad you decided to come back.” “You won’t feel that way after you see me eat Omari,” she chuckled before removing her coat.
“So where’s the food?”
“You’re plate is in the fridge, I’ll warm it up for you if don’t mind waiting.”
“So you really made me a plate, not knowing if I was going to make it or not?”
“Sure enough, but to be honest, I was planning on having Marlene take it to you.”
“Is there no limit to how sweet you can be Omari? Don’t answer that okay.”
Maybe a man my age shouldn’t be blushing these days, but there was nothing I could do to contain it. So I let a little bit of it show before I whisked her off to my front room. Once there I introduced her to everybody before she politely took a seat next to her friend Marlene.
“So everybody knows everybody Cool, I guess I’ll go and warm up your food Nique, do you want a drink while you wait?”
Deanna didn’t allow Nique to answer.
“Of course she wants a drink,” she said before she got up to do the honors.
Surprised by Deanna’s sudden interest, I followed her back to the kitchen wondering what was on her mind. History suggested something had to be wrong, because my usually selfish sister didn’t believe in serving anybody but herself.
“What was that all about?” I asked her before I placed Nique’s dinner into the microwave.
“Your big sister can’t be nice?”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t, just hadn’t seen it in awhile.”
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve made a few changes in my life.”
Back in the day when my sister and I were teenagers, we had our priorities as every young person did. Playing basketball, reading comic books and messing with the girls from around my way sort of filled the bill for me; however Deanna was interested in way more tangible things than reading the latest comic book. Some of those activities included watching the Oprah Winfrey show, to reading novels by such esteem authors as Toni Morrison, Zora Neale Hurston, and Maya Angelou. Maybe women are smarter than men, because it took me twenty something years to read a single book from one of those authors. If that made me a narrow minded, selfabsorbed man, at least I was human enough to accept some of my dysfunctional ways. Whereas Deanna and her disorganized state of mind never truly understood her dysfunctional state of being. This meant my big sister had a bad habit of living her life in a perpetual orbit, which generally gave her the same results.
“You know I love you right? I mean, you do know that right,” I asked her as I assembled Nique’s drink. “This is for real, Omari.”
“I swear to God you say those same exact words after you’ve digested one of those self awareness books. What was the name of that book that almost sent your ass to India? The Dancing Wu Li Masters. Remember that one; Moms hasn’t forgotten because she keeps asking me about your present day state of mind.”
“And what do you tell her my dear?”
“I don’t go there because I love you sis. But if you want me to keep it real with you, I shall, only because I love you.”
“Please, enlighten me with some of that great wisdom of yours.”
“You crazy child. Isn’t that how Aunt Katrina would have put it?”
Deanna and I agreed before we both laughed at my attempt to find humor in her quirkiness. Humor aside, my sister and me rarely agreed on anything. However over time we learned to really love and respect each other no matter are differences. After we hugged and kissed, we headed back to the party with Nique’s dinner.
Two hours later, the scoreboard at the end of that game read: Falcons 7, Eagles 52. The lopsided score plus the free flowing alcohol made this a great day-and possible a great night, I thought to myself before I closed my kitchen. Afterwards I offered to get everyone some coffee; however everybody wanted to continue drinking the hard stuff. Not one to turn down an opportunity to get drunk with friends, I obliged them all by fetching a few more bottles of Samuel Adams and a fresh bottle of J&B. It would be an understatement to suggest that everybody appeared more than happy before we headed for the front room.
Once everyone was situated, I told Boney to play something a little more stable but up beat. Of course Zackary took that moment to complain about the beer not being cold enough before Sarah politely popped him on his forehead for complaining. Michael and Marlene were snuggled up close as they did that make-up-to-break-up thing. From afar, they looked like long lost lovers on a chilly Friday night in Paris. If the kissing and hugging continued, those two lovebirds would be the first to leave. Robby and Cece, the mature couple that everyone looked up to, sat to my right while they argued with my big sister about the war in Iraq. Deanna’s boyfriend, a LL Cool J look alike, appeared to be more at home as his new found love sat inside his arms pleading her case to the Douglas’s. Nique on the other hand sat deep inside the confines of a plump leather couch as she sipped on her third glass of J&B. I didn’t know too many women that could drink that many glass’s of scotch and still be in control, but she was, and the fact that she was observing my every move made me feel a little uncomfor
table.
If I wasn’t so starved for some female attention, I might have asked her what she was looking at. Still, it felt good to be the object of somebody’s desire for a change. Even so, I didn’t dare return any of her directed stares. Why, because I didn’t have a clue what to say without sounding as corny or out of touch as I was. Therefore, I focused most of my attention on the ongoing argument.
“Personally I believe in what the President is trying to do in the Middle East.” Robby replied adamantly. Of course my peace-loving big sister took offense to that.
“I don’t mean to be disrespectful Robby…”
“Which means I won’t hafta remind you that disrespecting a man of God, is the same as disrespecting my boss Deanna.”
“I can’t believe you’re trying to sabotage this conversation with talk of God Robby.”
“Sabotage, fact of the matter is…”
“The facts of the matter are right in the faces of anybody willing to see it. This war is history repeating itself all over again. Your so called self righteous Commander in Chief is guilty of…”
“If you ask me dog, I say that crazy man is going to do what he wants to do regardless,” her boyfriend interrupted in attempt to calm Deanna down.
“Boy you sure do know how to pick ‘em Deanna,” Zackary chuckled.
“Screw you, Zach. What do you think, Omari?”
“Whatever you do, don’t involve that man in anything political,” Michael said before he snuck another kiss from Marlene.
“I second that one,” Zackary added before he went to get another beer.
Generally, I prohibited any talk of war in my house seeing how war had robbed me of my father. Deanna, Zackary, and Michael all knew that’s rule number one in my house. However, I wasn’t in the mood to chastise anyone, so I decided to end the argument before it went any further.
“By in large, I don’t discuss war or politics in my house, a certain group of individuals should know better. But if you want my input, here it is. Albert Einstein once said, “Killing under the pretense of war is nothing but an act of murder. That’s where I stand on the subject of war, period. So, can we please change the subject before my sister has a freaking heart attack?”
The Other Side of My Kitchen Page 6
