Three days later, my flight back to Atlanta was a short and dreamy one because I managed to sleep through the whole bumpy flight. I guess that’s what happens when you get five hours of sleep over a seventy-two hour period. However, I wasn’t all that upset because I had two big checks in my briefcase that was going to push my financial bottom line over the five million dollar mark for the year. I had to make a great deal of sacrifices to get that point, personal and professional; I thought it was worthwhile until I arrived home.
As always, there wasn’t anyone there outside of Boney waiting for me. As always, there wasn’t anyone waiting for me in my bedroom to hear how I had acquired three new massive contracts for my wireless home network company.
The project was to take place in a newly built Houston Texas suburb, and the price that I quoted them was going to make my company incredibly profitable. Those sort of things happened when you drink seventy-five year-old scotch with the insanely rich. Still, none of that was going to go down if I didn’t manage to hire somebody to help me with it.
I gave that future endeavor some thought before I made sure that my house was all in one piece. An hour and a half later, Boney had proved his worth because I found everything exactly where I had left it. Satisfied, I went and had myself a few drinks until I reached that fuzzyheaded state of mind that I liked to be in. I then showered the memories of Anchorage, Alaska away before going to bed feeling blue. After traveling through few out of this world dreams, I was awakened by a ringing doorbell. Agitated, I crawled out of my waterbed with a clouded mind as I headed for my kitchen wondering who it could be. Once inside my kitchen, I checked the security monitor and discovered Michael standing at my front door looking worried. This meant only one thing and one thing only with Michael during this time of the night. Something bad must had gone down between him and his girlfriend while I was gone. Without saying a word to him over the intercom, I buzzed him inside.
Here we go again , I mumbled as I walked over to my liquor cabinet and grabbed a new bottle of J&B Scotch.
“Lemme guess,” I said before I poured myself a drink.
Smelling cold and weathered, Michael pulled off his black pea coat and tossed it to the floor in disgust before he took a seat at my kitchen table.
“Not gonna believe what happened to me the other day.”
“If you got the facts to prove it, shit I’ll believe anything, you know that.”
“Fucking Marlene had the audacity to break up with me…via a text message.”
“Nobody can be that insensitive.”
Michael took a moment to pour a drink before he drank the whole thing down inside a single gulp. He then shoved his cell phone into my face so that I could read what Marlene had written him. It took me all twenty seconds to read it, and another thirty five seconds to grasp what this lady was really saying. You learn how to read between the lines when you’re on the outside looking in all of the damn time. Explaining it to Michael so that it made sense was going to be a different matter.
“I don’t see where it says…”
“What don’t you see, Omari. I mean, it says it right there in color that she doesn’t want our relationship any longer. What, you went to Alaska and forgot how to read and comprehend.”
“Hold on now…”
“That Eskimo pussy must be some good shit if you can’t see…”
“First of all, you need to chill out aw’ight. Secondly, if you would’ve read this message clearly, and by that I mean, not concentrating so hard on what that wife of yours did to you in the past, you might’ve been able to see what I’m seeing.”
“Whatever man.”
“Whatever my ass.”
“The bottom line is you don’t know her like I do.”
“You’re right, I don’t know her like you should, but it seems like she’s a little scared about where you two are going in this thing.”
“Scared…scared of what?”
“Wake up Michael, and put yourself in her shoes.” “I don’t wear a size eight, so that isn’t gonna happen.”
“You do know that this all started because you asked her to learn how to cook?”
“Damn right, what so wrong with that?”
“Nothing, but if you ask me, I’d say this isn’t a break up notice, instead its one of those where in the hell is this relationship going request that women like to ask whenever some man got them all unbalanced and shit. That’s what I think anyway.”
“The girl knows how I feel about her Omari. Shit, we live together for crying out loud.”
“And I respect you for that.”
“That’s not what you said when that went down, or have you forgotten?”
“I know what I said aw’ight, but if you ask me, I’d say this woman has a well thought out plan when it comes to you. Shit, she probably did all that the moment she laid eyes on you.”
“We met over the Internet remember?”
“Look stupid, it’s like this, I think she just wants to know if your plans matches her notion of where you two clowns are going. That’s what I think.”
Michael gave me a long look before he fixed himself another drink, and drank it the way he drank his first one. This meant he was thinking hard about everything I just said before he gave me a look that said he didn’t believed none of it.
“Well this clown is sleepy, can I crash here tonight.”
“You didn’t hear anything I said did you?”
“I heard you, but if it’s okay with you, I’m going to crash inside the Eagles Nest,” he said before he got up and headed for my home theater room.
“Just do me a favor and don’t leave any of that sleep crud on any of my theater chairs.”
Michael stopped and smirked at me sarcastically before he said, “Yo Boney.”
“Yes Michael,” my all hearing and all seeing computer replied.
“Heat the floors inside the Eagles nest please.”
“As you command.”
Five minutes later, I was still sitting at my dining room table sipping on my first scotch thinking about Michael and Marlene. And after thinking a few things over, I sort of agreed with Marlene’s little wake up call. Effective as it may have been, I would not have done it that way probably because I didn’t have the heart to do something crazy like that. With those two in mind, I finished off my scotch and went back to bed because in the end, I knew Michael would still have a lady when it was all done and said for. I, on the other hand, would have nobody to really call my own when the sun decided to show. Then again, if that was the sort of drama that was in store for me once I arrived at that situation, maybe I was better off single for the time being.
Sunday morning came so fast, even I, a habitual early riser was caught off guard by the bright early morning light. But I had a great deal to do, so I jumped out of my bed and into my shower before getting dressed for another day. I was halfway to my office when I remembered Michael was sleeping inside the Eagles Nest. A habitual over sleeper, Michael could lay inside the tender grasp of sleep like Akhenaten, the Egyptian mummy.
“So when did you switch to that Firefox browser application?” Michael asked before he strolled out of my office.
Surprised that he was awake; not to mention functioning properly, I answered with, “After that last virus almost destroyed my entire network. Hold on; when did you start getting up this time of the morning?”
“The morning after Marlene moved in.”
“That’s a change for the good.”
“Yeah, she gets up and prays to the all mighty Allah.” “A Christian and a Muslim sharing the same bed,
damn, you really are whipped aren’t you,” I said before I took a seat in front of my laptop.
“It’s not all about being whipped Omari.”
“Really, well wait to your moms hear about you loving a Muslim.”
“She’ll get over it, anyway I guess you change when you love somebody more than yourself.”
I clearly heard everything th
at Michael said, but I couldn’t really believe that he had actually expressed his true feelings for Marlene to me. This was a big first, because most men never ever share that type of info with another man unless he was about to be taken off the market. I shifted in my chair so that I could get a good look at my long time friend.
“You’re not about to get married on me again are you?”
“A couple of years ago, that’s exactly what I’d be thinking about if you want me to be honest. However, I’ve learned a few things since those failed expeditions.”
“Like what?”
“Like how important it is for two people to grow together, not only in the bedroom, but also in their everyday life.”
I knew exactly what Michael was talking about; but for the sake of being macho, and flat out stubborn, I frowned as if I didn’t understand.
“I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I’ve learned to take my time with shit like this…if she really loves me, she’ll be there when the time comes for us to get married.”
“You of all people should know that,” I chuckled with a hint of vinegar in my voice.
“Aren’t we rather contemptuous this morning?”
“Its my house, so I have the right. Besides, I think that’s a first.”
“What is?”
“Being called condescending.”
“Whatever, look man, Marlene and Nique are going to bring breakfast.”
“You guys already made up?”
“Something likes that.”
“That’s good to hear, so where are they getting breakfast from?”
“Chuck’s Bar and Grill I think.”
“Chuck’s Bar and Grill, that means we’ll be eating turkey bacon for breakfast doesn’t it?”
Know sooner after I asked that, my doorbell rung, so I immediately logged onto my network and accessed the lipstick sized camera that was located at my front door and discovered two women standing there talking. I recognized the Chuck’s Bar and Grill bags that they were carrying, but I didn’t recognize them; however one of the young ladies did look rather familiar to me. Michael on the other hand recognized them immediately because his face suddenly started to glow with anticipation.
“Dude, there’s breakfast,” he replied before he went to meet them.
“Hold on, did you just refer to me as…dude.”
“Look, are you coming down to meet them or what?”
“You’re not about to go Ricky Williams on me are you?”
“Chronic don’t have breasts, nor does it kiss the way Marlene does.”
“I see. Well I think I’ll just wait here if you don’t mind.”
“Suit your self,” Michael said before he left me to ponder what I was about to get myself into.
Teaching Michael and Marlene how to cook wasn’t a big deal as long as they knew how to behave when they were in my kitchen. With that being said, I would do almost anything for my friends; however I could be extremely pessimistic and little short sighted when it came to the women in their lives. That’s probably why Michael kept Marlene away, and I couldn’t blame him for that even if I tried. All the same, I have never been afraid of change; so I decided I wasn’t going to be my usual distant self when it came time for me to meet his woman. Instead, I was going to attempt to be more upbeat and optimistic, even if I got a negative vibe from Marlene, I wasn’t going to let it show.
After making sure that I looked presentable, I left my office and headed for my front room to meet the ladies. As I entered, I discovered Michael standing next to a slender built Middle Eastern woman who had the sort of cosmic beauty that could not be appreciated behind some antiquated veil. She was that pretty, and some. Standing closely to her in an understated but flattering leather green jacket and boot cut Apple bottom jeans, was an attractive Black woman who had the sexiest pixie cut. Outside of her hairdo, and great body, this young lady wasn’t nearly as pretty as her friend, but I swear she had this saucy aura about herself that made me want to investigate after I found out who was who. That happened right after an openly excited Michael reached out and grabbed the slender Middle Eastern woman’s hand.
“Well here she is, in the flesh.”
“Wouldn’t wanna meet her if she wasn’t,” I said trying to be funny.
Nobody laughed. Where was David ChappeIle when you needed him, I thought to myself before I bit down on my lower lip. After that I tried to think of something else not so funny, but of course nothing sane came to mind. This meant I was stuck in that unforgiving pit of not having a life outside of work.
Thankfully, Marlene came to my rescue.
“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Omari.”
“You won’t be feeling that way after we finish cooking.”
“Okay, maybe I should’ve worn my work out gear.”
“It’s not going to be that bad.”
“If it is, are you gonna invite me to your Barry White and Scotch night.”
Neither Michael nor I was sure if she was being serious about that, because we both looked at her skeptically.
“I was joking,” Marlene added rather quickly before she said, “Michael has told me a great deal about you, and after seeing this place, I see why he’s so impressed with you.”
I was still trying to get over the idea that Marlene knew about my Barry White and scotch night when Nique suddenly introduced herself without any help.
“Hello Omari,” she said with a bright but cautious smile.
“I’m sorry Nique, Omari this is Nique Carole…Omari.”
I should have said something associated with my age, but nothing close to it came out because for some reason or another, I knew I had seen this woman somewhere before. Once again I was rescued from that bottomless pit of silence; this time it was Michael’s turn.
“Nique is in the music biz Omari.”
“That’s where I’ve seen you before,” I said after I placed her face. “You were in that D.J. Bootylicious video right?”
Please lord, please let me be right on this one, I thought to myself before I braced myself for another fall.
To my surprise, Nique laughed out confidently before she glanced over at Marlene and said. “Believe it or not I produced, and directed that silly video a few years ago. That crazy girl almost won me a Grammy; however I’m producing a more mature group of artists these days. You really should check them out, you might like them.”
“Don’t waste your breath Nique, Omari is still hypnotized by his dusty collection of old school hip hop, or that jazzy neo soul crap coming out of Philly. That dirty south stuff that you do is a little too hot for Omari’s taste.” Michael said before he gave me a subtle wink.
After he did the wink thing, I felt so lost and isolated, I thought about asking Boney to blow my body into a huge digital bio code before he beamed it somewhere but here. However Boney was a few hundred light years away from accomplishing that feat, which meant I was going to have to deal with my awkwardness the hard way.
“If you ask me Nique, You look just as good in person as that chick in the video,” I said with a smoothness that even caught me off guard.
Nique smiled and said, “That sort of flattery will get you everywhere Omari, seeing how that young lady is ten years younger than me.”
Omari rolls off a weak screen.
He gets the ball…
He fakes to the left and than to the right…
He shoots…
He scores!
After breakfast, we finally made our way to my kitchen so that I could start my cooking lesson. Of course that didn’t happen on time because the women where so amazed by my kitchen, they kept inquiring about where I got this and where I got that. Trying not to appear too flattered, I explained in details where and when I shopped for my pots and pans, after that I started my lesson.
“First of all, I’m extremely flattered that you guys choose me to be your teacher, however I gotta be honest with you about something first.”
Everybody n
odded his or her heads okay.
“I’m a terrible teacher when it comes to showing somebody how to cook, probably because of my lack of patience. You see, I control everything that goes on inside this kitchen, and I mean everything, but when it comes to people and how they grasp information, not to mention how they manipulate that information, I sometimes just don’t get it. What I’m trying to say is, cooking comes natural to me. Why I don’t know, but I feel so complete when I’m in here doing my thing. Of course not everybody is going to feel that way, but I really believe if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish great things in a kitchen. Besides, being able to create a meal from scratch has to be one of the greatest skills, because humans have to eat and drink if they wish to live.”
“My momma would testify to that,” Nique said with an agreeable grin.
“Your momma is probably smarter than most Nique. Anyway, I could read from a book how to cook this and that, or I could start you guys off with something simple like baking a biscuit with infused green onions or something like that. But I don’t think you guys would learn anything from that, so I’ve decided to let you guys assist me in making my Sunday dinner that I usually cook for my friends and family. So what do you guys think about that?”
“That’s what I’m talking about.” Marlene said excitedly.
“Cool, first things first, brotha gotta have his music, so if you guys don’t mind. Boney could you please play mp3 file Tipping Point, sub file, Don’t Say Nuthin.”
Three and a half seconds later, all four of us where up to our necks in some dirty ass collard greens.
A Little Shoe Modeling
Normally, it would have taken me about two hours to cook my Sunday dinner. As expected, that time frame changed after I tried teaching a group of people all of the dos and don’ts of cooking. In the end, we completed the entire meal in less than four hours. There were a couple goof ups, for example, the collard greens where a little too salty because Michael kept adding salt when he should have been taste testing. The baked macaroni came out a little too dry because I let it over cook, and the homemade gravy came out rather interesting after Marlene convinced the group to drop the half of teaspoon of freshly ground black pepper in lieu of some freshly grounded ginger. Other than that, everything else on the menu turned out okay, so we wrapped everything up and put it in my refrigerated room for later.
The Other Side of My Kitchen Page 5
