Big Girls Rock: Hard Rock Love (#2) (BBW Erotic Romance)

by Danielle Houston

  Jen as usual was full of practical advice. “Why don’t you just give Nick a call?”

  Call Nick? The idea had never occurred to me. Granted, I'd turned him down a few months ago. Perhaps she was right. If I wanted to get to the bottom of how I felt. Then I needed to call him. My fingers trembled as I picked up my phone. I tapped the screen and watched it dial.

  “Hello?” A deep baritone answered.

  “It's me.” My mouth was dry and tongue swollen.

  “It's so good to hear you Candi.” He sounded genuinely pleased.

  “So I got your message.” My heart pounded in my chest.

  Why was it always so hard to talk to him?

  “The producers here went nuts over your video.” I heard the excitement in his voice.

  “I wasn't expecting anything like this.” I replied.

  “I miss you,” Nick’s voice was full of longing.

  I didn't know what to say. I gripped the phone and let his words sink in. He kept talking.

  “I know I didn't call,” he paused. “I figured you didn’t want me to.”

  I found my voice. “Honestly, I don't know what I want anymore.”

  “Just come. I miss you.” His voice shook.

  I exploded, “Dammit. You just can't appear out of the blue, holding all my dreams in your hands.” There was a long pause. Had I gone too far?

  Then he spoke. “I wasn't trying to be a jerk. I was hurt.”

  This is crazy. He missed me and I missed him. But what about Dylan? It wasn't fair that life had just gone back to normal. Now I had to make this huge choice.

  “Nick, there's someone else.”

  “Who?” His voice calmed.

  “My former ex, Dylan. Things are great between us again.”

  “Oh,” he paused again. “Candi, this is your choice. But it's not just about us. This is a chance for you to pursue your dreams.”

  “I can't do it.” I gasped. “I can't hurt Dylan.”

  “Just think about it a little bit longer,” he urged me.

  “This is a mistake. I have to go.” I disconnected the call and put the phone down. What was I thinking? Calling Nick was a huge mistake. I didn't belong in that Hollywood rock 'n roll world, did I?

  Later that evening, I strolled into The Dirty Thirty ready to work. Frank was nowhere to be found. So, I hopped behind the bar and set up for the night. I didn’t notice that Jen had arrived a little early too. She walked behind the bar and started to put glasses away.

  “So did you call him?” she asked.

  “Yup” I said.

  “And what happened?” I knew Jen. She wasn't going to let this go.

  “I can't leave Dylan.”

  “I don't blame you. I mean you haven't heard from Nick in months.”

  “Right, I'm going to do the right thing.”

  Jen paused, “Do you love Dylan?”

  I wiped some glasses dry, “Actually I think I love them both.”

  “I figured that part out already.” Jen slapped my rear with a playful smack. Frank showed up later with the bouncer Teddy. Teddy had broken up plenty of fights here. There was no nonsense on his watch. I always felt safer whenever he was around. Later that night I didn't notice Dylan had arrived. But when he staggered up to me, I knew he'd been drinking.

  “So you started the party early?” I asked him.

  “Just having a little fun,” he replied.

  “Let me get you some coffee.” I walked towards the coffee pot.

  “Just pour me another drink.” He slurred his words.

  Frank appeared out of nowhere and put a hand on Dylan's shoulder. “Son, go home and sleep this off.”

  “Fine, I just had something to say to Candi.”

  “Take it from me. You don't want to say something now that you're going to regret later.” Frank's eyes were filled with sorrow and regret. He never talked much about what happened between him and his ex-wife, but I knew it had wounded him deeply.

  “I'm gonna sit down over there.” Dylan pointed to a corner table.

  Frank held out his hand and commanded, “Keys.”

  Without argument, Dylan dug into his pocket and plopped his keys into Frank's palm. Frank’s meaty hands wrapped around the keys and he shook his head. Dylan disappeared into the crowd.

  Then Frank spoke to me, “You need to decide what you are going to do.”

  “Frank, I want to stay here.”

  He folded his arms, “I know that's what you’re telling everyone. But your heart just ain't in it Candi.”

  I shook my head in denial, “What do you mean?”

  Frank placed a loving arm around my shoulder, “From that first night you sang here, I knew you had something special.” Then he gave me a fatherly hug.

  “I never expected you to stay here forever. Everybody knows you've got tremendous talent.” His voice grew soft and low, “The only person, who doesn't believe in you, is you.” Behind Frank's tattoos and biker mustache beat a heart of pure gold. I was still torn however. I knew that I loved Dylan. Yet, I couldn't stop thinking about Nick. That gorgeous rock star grin and beautiful voice haunted my dreams. He was like some sexy guardian angel that had swooped down from heaven to save me from a humdrum life.

  I looked around the bar and took everything in. God I loved this place! The loud chatter, clinking glasses, cigarette smoke, and pounding music. Skinny kid Trey and his no-name band were on stage playing their hearts out. Some drunken girl was in an argument with her boyfriend in a distant corner. My heart tugged and my shoulders slumped. I just didn’t know what the right choice was.

  So I decided to do what it was I always did whenever I was confused and hurt. I poured myself a shot of Tennessee whiskey, gulped it down, and headed towards the stage. I hopped up on the stage and grabbed the mic. As if on cue, the band stopped playing. A hush settled over the normally rowdy crowd. The hot lights glowed overhead. Sweat pooled between my breasts.

  I brought the mic to my lips and spoke, “Good evening dirty thirty!”

  Everyone yelled a loud woo at once in response

  “I want to sing a little something tonight. That I hope you’ll enjoy. I know y'all come here to have a little rock 'n roll. And that's what I'm going to give you. A little blast past from the past from Whitesnsake!”

  I nodded to Trey and yelled, “Here I Go Again!” It was my favorite song, from the Whitesnake’s nineteen eight-two album Saints and sinners. The band pumped up the intro and I let loose. I screamed those lyrics raw and poured my heart into it. I felt the song in my entire being. I let the music move my hips and shake my legs. Voltage traveled from me to the crowd and back again. Oh my God I loved this! This is what I lived for, this connection between me and the audience. I flowed with the song and pointed the mic at the crowd for the chorus. They responded on queue shouting the words into the air. The whole thing really pumped me up. I was ready to go. In those wonderful, electric moments I didn't care about Nick, or Dylan. I only cared about the music. At that moment I was pure energy. I belonged up there; it was the one place people didn't care about what I looked like. Music transformed me into a demi-goddess. When the song finished the crowd screamed adoration. I was sweaty and exhausted, but satisfied. I jumped down and headed to the bar. Jen handed me a cool glass of water and leaned against the counter.

  “That was something else!” She said.

  “I think it was the best time ever” I said.

  “You’re mad talented. I can understand why you're thinking about leaving.”

  “I like things the way they are,” I told her.

  “Do you really?” Jen asked.

  “I know where you are going with this.” I told her.

  “Why do you think Dylan is so messed up tonight?”

  “I don't know. He's mad at me for talking to Nick.”

  “He knows you don't belong here,” she paused. “And that you don't belong to him.”

  I shook my head, “That's ridiculous.”

  “Is
it?” She crossed her arms and smirked.

  I stood there in dumbstruck by what she said. I cared for Dylan and I wasn't going to leave him behind. My life had finally returned to normal. It would be foolish to toss all that away for a foolish dream. What if I got to Hollywood and failed? Sure the producers watched Nick's video and loved my voice. But I’d never acted before a day in my life. This whole thing was scary, and unfamiliar. Nope, I wasn't going. I'm going to stay here in my small-town bar where I know it's safe.

  I answered her, “This time you're wrong. I'm not going anywhere.”

  “Remember all those posters on your wall when you were a kid?”

  “What teenaged girl doesn't have rock star posters on the wall?” I replied.

  “It was more than that,” she continued. “You were obsessed with music!”

  “What are you trying to say?” I asked.

  “That you’re running away from your dreams.”

  “You don't know what you’re talking about!” I stomped off, my face flushed red with heat. Jen was my best friend. But she was too damned preachy at times. Besides, she didn't know everything. And she certainly didn't know how I felt about Dylan. I had to find him. We needed to talk things out. Maybe he'd sobered up enough to hear what I had to say. I found him in a noisy corner shouting back and forth with two men.

  “I said apologize.” He pointed a sloppy finger at the tallest one

  “We don't want any trouble,” the big guy said. “Just get out of here.”

  Dylan flexed at the guy. “You don't tell me what to do!”

  “Stop being such a dick,” the tall man’s friend yelled.

  That’s when the shoving match broke out. I decided to intervene before real trouble broke out. Dylan was obviously still very drunk. The dude holding him was a burly sandy-haired guy. His friend was tall with dark hair and squared shoulders. These guys looked tough. Dylan would be no match for them in his current state.

  “Alright guys, let's just break it up.” I sauntered up to them with false bravado.

  “I don't know what this guy’s problem is,” the tall man gestured.

  “You ain't bossing me.” Dylan made a threatening motion.

  I spoke up, “Come on guys no roughhousing in the bar.” My heart was pounding fast. Things were escalating fast. Quick as a flash, Dylan lunged. The tall man swung hard. His fist hit Dylan's cheek with a resounding whack. It sounded like somebody slapped steak against a granite counter. Poor Dylan made a loud exhale, and fell backwards.

  “You'll pay for that!” Dylan tottered to his feet.

  “Nobody's going to pay for anything.” I yelled at the top of my lungs. Dylan poked his finger in my chest. “You get out of here. I know what I'm doing.”

  I searched for Teddy the bouncer, but he was nowhere to be found. My only instinct was to stop Dylan from committing suicide by beat down. I blamed myself. If I hadn't checked that email in his car, none of this ever would've happened. He was hurt, angry, and acting out. I grabbed my drunken boyfriend by the shoulder and spun him around.

  “Dylan, you’re being ridiculous. Come with me and I'll get you some coffee.”

  “You don't tell me what to do.” He jerked away from me.

  By now, I was exasperated enough to clobber him myself. That's when it happened. Dylan broke away from me and went right back towards the two guys. Without warning, he swung his fist hard at his opponent. The tall guy fell back when Dylan's punch landed square on his jaw. His friend jumped in the fray and caught Dylan in a choke hold taking him to the ground. I couldn't stand there and do nothing. Where in the hell was Teddy? The burly bouncer was absent from sight. I ran over and grabbed the shorter man by the shoulder, in an attempt to get him to let Dylan go. “Hey man that's enough…” Before I finished my sentence the smaller man whirled round. He punched and his fist hit me hard. My sentence was interrupted by an explosion of darkness and stars. The earth collapsed under my feet. My body hit the floor as I tried to keep conscious. I heard commotion and yelling.

  “Oh my God I didn't know it was her…”

  “You son of a...”

  “Get the bouncer.”

  “Some dude hit Candi.”

  Dylan was screaming at someone. I needed to stop him before he went berserk. But my legs had turned to Jell-O. Disembodied arms wrapped beneath my shoulder blades. Strong arms lifted me to my feet. A deep voice spoke into my ear. “Candi can you hear me Candi?”

  Was that Frank? I tried to respond. But it was like my jaw had been wired shut. I squinted and tried to bring the room into focus. But everything remained stubbornly blurry. Strong arms guided me away from the crowd. Before long I was lying on a soft cushioned couch. “Get some ice,” it definitely was Frank.

  I tilted my head up and I forced my eyes to open.

  “I'm alright,” I said.”

  How many fingers am I holding up?”

  “Two... two fingers,” I replied.

  “She’s ok,” Frank said.

  My world came into sharp focus. Frank knelt close, holding a glass of cold water.

  “You took quite a punch slugger.” He said.

  I rubbed my throbbing cheek. “Did anyone get the name that truck?”

  “I don't think that guy meant to hit you, he was very apologetic.”

  “Yeah that was after we yanked Dylan off him.” Jen had come into the room. She placed an ice pack on my cheek. “He went berserk. You should've seen it. That was when some commotion broke out on the other side of the door.

  “Let me in there! Let me go!”

  It was Dylan and he was screaming at the top of his lungs. The door burst open and Dylan came in. Teddy, the big bouncer, was right behind him.

  “If you don't calm down I'm going to throw you out right now.” Teddy said. Before I knew it, Dylan was sitting beside me. He grabbed my hand and clasped it gently.

  “I'm so sorry Candi I didn't want you to get hurt.”

  “I'm fine… everything is ok.” My jaw ached. Man that was going to leave a bruise. Dylan moved the ice pack away from my jaw and frowned.

  “I was a big jerk. And look what happened.” His eyes were big and mournful.

  “Dylan, its ok. You drank a little bit too much and you got rowdy.”

  “I was just so angry. And I had so much I wanted to tell you. But I didn't know how.”

  “I know reading the email upset you.” I paused. “I'm not running off to Hollywood. I'm not leaving.”

  Dylan released my hand. “I think you should go.”

  My jaw dropped. What is he saying?

  “I don't understand?” I was truly perplexed.

  “All your life, all you've ever wanted to do was sing.” He looked deep into my eyes.

  “I get to sing here almost every night and it's enough for me.”

  “No. It's not. And I know that.” He dropped his eyes. “That's why I was angry. I knew I’d already lost you.”

  I shook my head in denial. “That's not true.”

  “Look into your heart Candi. Is staying here with me really what you want?”

  My head spun with emotion. I did want to stay here and be with Dylan didn't I? Yet I felt a longing that I couldn't describe. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to sing. I thought The Dirty Thirty was good enough. But was it really?

  “I can see it in your eyes. You're thinking about Hollywood. You're thinking about him.” Dylan's voice was low and sorrowful. I reached out and touched his hand.

  “I love you.”

  “That's not the whole story is it? You love him too.” He took my hand in his again and held it. My mind clouded with conflict. God help me I do love them both. I loved Dylan for his rawness and honesty. I loved Nick for his spontaneity and excitement. The two of them were so different, yet both so passionate. Both of them uncovered something passionate within me. Both men made me feel beautiful and wanted. Now I was forced to choose, and I didn't know what to do.

  “I brought something here with me tonight.�
� Dylan reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled envelope.

  I was puzzled. “What is this?”

  “Open it.” He said. With hands shaking I pulled out what was inside.

  My eyes widened in disbelief. “It's an airplane ticket.”

  “I bought it for you. Go live your dream.”

  “I can’t accept this.” Dylan traced my jawline with his finger and his voice dropped to a whisper. “I want you to be happy.” Tears welled in his eyes.

  “I don't know what to say.” I gripped the ticket in my hand. Dylan bent forward, and kissed me on the mouth. It was a soft and gentle kiss, filled with warmth, love, and acceptance.

  “Just say you'll go.”

  “I'm not sure what I'm going to do.” My mind raced. Was I going to do this? Was I going to leave everyone behind?

  Dylan leaned into my ear and whispered, “Be happy.”

  That next morning Jen helped me pack. I got into a taxi which took me to the airport. Before I knew it, I was on a plane and Hollywood bound.

  Epilogue:

  “She's magnificent!” The short, bald man puffed on his cigar.

  “Candi’s amazing. I told you so.” Nick swelled with pride. He was talking to Sydney Rush, the producer of Harmony. Mr. Rush was responsible for nearly a decade of successful television. But Harmony was his biggest hit ever. It boasted millions of viewers every Thursday night. America was riveted to the screen by the cast’s electric vocals.

  “Isn't she a little… big?” A pencil-thin blonde spoke up. Selena Hudson had clawed her way to superstardom. She wasn't about to lose it all to a round girl from Northern California.

  “She's exactly what I’m looking for.” Sydney said. “Someone that middle-America can identify with.” Syd reached over and replayed the video. The screen flickered and Candi’s vocals started over.

  “She even better live. Imagine the concert shows.” Nick was trying his best to appeal to the dollar signs in Sydney's eyes.

  “Do you think she'll be able to do the choreography?” Selena grimaced. “That girl looks out of shape.”

  “Trust me. She’s got moves.” Nick was trying his best to stay calm.

  Selena laughed. “And I bet you would know?”

  Nick's face reddened and he bit his tongue.