Saving Grace

by H. P. Munro

  A small whispered ‘Amen’ from Joanne was followed by the sound of a slap.

  Remembering there were others in the house, Charlotte and Ruth turned, and Ruth continued with her verbal tour of the property. “So the kitchen is through there. Upstairs are three bedrooms.” She addressed the rest of the explanation to Charlotte. “Lou’s old room has a single, mine has a double, and there’s still a double in mama’s room. I think you’re familiar with that room at least.”

  Charlotte grinned at the comment. “I think I was in there for all of five minutes, but I should be able to find my way back there.”

  Ruth laughed. “I wasn’t sure if y’all were up for the bar tonight. The celebrations are starting there but tomorrow is the bigger stuff. There’s stalls and a cookout down at the playing fields from lunchtime. There're some supplies in the kitchen for tonight and breakfast. But if y’all don’t feel like cooking in the morning then Ruby’s is the place to go for breakfast. I’m sure Alex would love to see you, Charlotte.”

  Nodding, Charlotte gave a wry smile. “Can you do me a favor and keep my being here quiet for now?” She rolled her shoulders, trying to get rid of the tension that increased with each passing moment. “I think you and possibly Alex will be about all that’s happy to see me.”

  Ruth rubbed her arm comfortingly. “There’ll be others too, I’m sure of it. But I’ll keep it low key.” She clapped her hands. “So I should go let you get settled an’ I’ll see y’all tomorrow.”

  Molly smiled warily at Charlotte. “See not so bad.”

  Charlotte didn’t respond as she picked her bag up and climbed the stairs to claim a bedroom.

  ***

  Charlotte didn’t acknowledge the tentative knock at the bedroom door.

  “I brought you some oatmeal. I thought you might be hungry and this is as good as my cooking gets.”

  Turning briefly at Joanne’s voice, Charlotte barely acknowledged her before turning back to gaze out of the window.

  “You draw the short straw?”

  Placing the bowl down carefully on the nightstand, Joanne joined her at the window. “I’m the only one trained in self-defense.” She watched closely as the corner of Charlotte’s mouth rose up in amusement. “You doing okay?”

  Charlotte let out a long breath and rubbed at her eye. “I guess, to be honest I’m all over the place. I’m so angry with you all for tricking me.”

  “I’m sorry.” Joanne shrugged. “I have no excuse other than sometimes it’s easier to just go along with my sister than fight her, and don’t blame Ellie. She thought there was maybe some part of you needed this trip.”

  “The part of me that’s not mad agrees with her.” Charlotte sighed. “I’ve thought a lot lately about this place and the people I left here, and it was time to come home. I’ve spent the last half of my life running from the memories of the first half, and that’s no way to live. I’m just drifting along; I have no idea what I want to do next. I don’t share anything of myself with anyone. I have no girlfriend. I need to save myself from me!

  “I want to make amends and apologize to those I hurt, confront my mother about the hurt she created and say goodbye properly to my daddy. Although I’ll be honest with you, I really wish he was still alive so I could ask him what the hell he thought he was doing letting my mother ride roughshod over us all. Then just maybe I can find some peace.”

  “Well I’m no expert, but that sounds like a good plan.” Joanne laid a comforting hand on Charlotte's shoulder. “You know when putting a plan into motion, it’s better to have a full belly.”

  Charlotte left the window and collected the bowl. “Maybe I’ll come downstairs and eat it.”

  Joanne smiled. “That'd be great.”

  ***

  “Who do we know drives a red SUV?” Teddy plonked herself down beside Alex and Maddie and looked expectantly at them.

  Both looked at each other before shaking their heads. “No one why?”

  “No reason.” Teddy shook her head as Erin walked back towards the table. “Erin, you’ve gotta tell them about the double D’s.”

  “What they fighting ’bout now?” Alex asked around a mouthful of peanuts.

  “A cat if you can believe it,” Teddy said grinning. “I’m just going to go say hey to Ruth.” She picked up her beer and walked towards her friend, who had just come into the bar.

  “Teddy, how are you?” Ruth leaned on the bar as she accepted a beer from Sully.

  Placing her bottle down carefully, Teddy nodded. “Good. Do you know someone with a red SUV?” She watched as Ruth’s eyes widened momentarily as she took a drink from her beer.

  She was saved from an answer when the door to the bar flew open and Brett Ford strode in and slapped a newspaper clipping down onto the bar. “What in the hell do you think you are doing? What is this…this…abomination?” He ignored the fact that the music and all conversation had stopped.

  Sully walked leisurely over towards where Ford stood and slowly turned the clipping around so he could read it. “That there is an advertisement, common practice in business. Something you should know.”

  “Don’t you get smart with me. You damn well know what I’m talking about. What do you think you’re doing advertising for this sort of thing? A good God-fearing town like Grace Falls doesn’t need this kind of abomination.”

  Tossing a dishrag over his shoulder, Sully turned and held his arms out. “Seems we have a good proportion of the town in here tonight. So let’s take a vote.”

  He jumped up onto the bar. “Folks, I have put an advertisement in newspapers for a ladies’ night.” He waved his hands to quiet down the few male whoops that accompanied his announcement. “I’m afraid guys, you’re not why they’ll be coming here. The ladies that are invited are lesbians.” He grinned at Alex’s sole whoop. “It’s a Thursday night in a few weeks’ time. Now anyone got any objections?”

  He turned to look at Brett Ford when no one raised their hand.

  A smug look on the lumberyard manager’s face appeared when there was a cough and a clearing of a throat.

  Sully turned back round to see who it came from. Ezra Jackson stood up and slicked down the few remaining strands of hair he had. “I gotta question, Sully,” he said carefully. “Does that mean we can’t come in for a drink that night?”

  Sully quirked an eyebrow in Erin’s direction, and when she gave a quick shake of her head, he took a deep breath. “Well no it doesn’t, but if you do come in you will show respect to our guests. If anyone can’t do that, then I’ll toss you out of here so fast your teeth will shake, and it’ll take you a while to get back in my good graces to return.” He looked pointedly at Brett Ford.

  Ol’ man Jackson nodded slowly. “Won’t be no trouble, jus’ wondering was all. Ain’t got no teeth to shake anyhow.” He grinned a toothless grin towards the table with Maddie, Alex, and Erin. “Maybe we can get a good woman to court Erin finally.”

  The bar erupted into cheers as Erin slunk down in her chair with embarrassment and Sully jumped back down behind the bar.

  “We don’t care here if you’re gay, straight or a withered ol’ bigot. We’ll serve you anyhow.” He smiled towards Brett Ford. “Now do you want a drink?”

  Ford scowled. “You should be ashamed!” He raised his voice to address the rest of the bar. “You all should.”

  Sully leaned closer to him. “If you don’t want a drink, then take your out of date opinions with you and try not to let the door smack you on the ass on the way out.” He turned back towards the bar and bellowed brightly, “Where’d all the music go?” A second later the volume was turned back up and normal service resumed.

  Ford glanced around, realizing he’d no support he scowled and let out a small huff before turning and leaving the bar in the same fury as he’d entered.

  “Well that was interesting.” Teddy watched his departure then returned her attention to Ruth. “So red SUV?”

  Ruth shook her head and started to make her escape
towards where her husband was sitting with their son.

  Stepping to block the way Teddy continued. “’Cause the damnedest thing happened earlier. I saw a red SUV drive into town and my eyesight ain’t what it was ’cause I could have sworn it was Charlotte Grace driving it.” She saw Ruth pale slightly. “Now since I don’t know for sure what I saw, I’m not going to say anything to Erin, since there’s no need to worry her unnecessarily ’cause we all know their friendship ended badly. But if I was a person who did know for sure something like that, I think I’d feel obliged to say something.”

  Teddy gave Ruth a final warning glance, then moved to let her past. She looked over towards where Alex and Maddie were sitting with Erin and hoped to God that her suspicions were wrong.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Charlotte lay in the dark staring at the shadows cast along the ceiling. The persistent memories of Grace Falls and Erin over the past few weeks had been nothing but a prelude to the state she was now in.

  Being back in Ruth’s old house and the scene of one of her mistakes, had Charlotte berating herself for her weakness in her youth. She wasn’t proud of her actions after Erin kissed her. Confusion, at what it meant for them and for her, saw her make choices she would forever regret.

  Her first was her immediate need to prove that it meant nothing, and she was straight. Poor unsuspecting Sully. She almost laughed recalling his shocked expression as she launched herself on him. The act, however, backfired in its purpose, as soon as their lips met she knew it felt wrong. She ignored the voice telling her it shouldn’t be Sully. That it shouldn’t be a boy she was with. It should be Erin’s lips and Erin’s touch she should be feeling. His release was a relief, and her seduction of him ended as quickly as it began, and she had fled the scene in tears.

  She’d avoided everyone in the week that followed. Up until Ruth’s party. She’d gone in the hope of seeing Erin and talking about what had happened. When Erin didn't show she tried to drown out her confusion with too many wine coolers. She could blame the alcohol, but in truth, it happened because she was young, confused, and horny. Everyone knew Alex liked girls. It had caused a stir the previous summer. Charlotte found herself gravitating towards the blonde, testing her flirting skills, wondering whether she could be as sure as Alex was of her sexuality or whether she was experiencing some strange sort of obsession with Erin.

  She honestly couldn’t remember who suggested going up the stairs, but she certainly remembered kissing Alex and pressing her down onto the bed. The feelings she experienced answered her questions in part. It definitely felt different than with Sully. It felt good. However, again she found herself wishing when she opened her eyes that the blue eyes looking back at her would be hazel. She felt part mortification part relief when Sully, of all people, dropped her on her ass. She’d looked between the two friends, one angry and the other equal parts confused and aroused, before deciding to get the hell out of that house. She again fled the scene. This time, however, her exit was marred by Erin standing at the bottom of the stairs.

  “You okay?”

  Charlotte didn’t deserve the concern she saw in those hazel eyes. She nodded and pushed Erin out of her way. Running down the street and not once stopping or looking back.

  She’d cried until it felt like she had no more tears. The hard rock providing no solace beneath her as she lay wrung out. This is not what she planned for her life. Although she didn’t subscribe to the Virginia Grace three-point plan of her future; college-marriage-kids, she hadn’t banked on being so fundamentally different from the norm she grew up around. She hadn’t even known what the word lesbian was until the year before when she and Erin heard it attached to Alex and looked it up in the dictionary. Now only a year later she was coming to terms with the fact she was a lesbian and completely in love with her best friend.

  “Is it true?”

  The question and Erin’s voice surprised her so much she fell from her perch on the stone. She’d been so deep in thought she hadn’t heard her approach. She quickly got to her feet and focused on scuffing leaves with the toes of her sneakers.

  “Charlotte, look at me!”

  She raised her head and looked at Erin, whose face was ashen white.

  “Is it true?” Erin swallowed hard. “Did you have sex with Sully and Alex?”

  Charlotte sniffed and rubbed her gritty eyes. “I had sex with Sully, but not Alex. Sully stopped us.”

  The pain her words caused was apparent. Erin’s eyes widened, and she stepped back as if she’d taken a punch to the chest.

  “Why? Why would you do that?”

  Angry and ashamed, Charlotte lashed out. “Why did you kiss me?”

  Erin shrugged and took a step forward. “Because I love you.”

  Her answer seemed to suck all the fury from Charlotte’s body. “Do you realize what you’re saying? What that means for us? For you?”

  “What do you think I’ve been thinking about all week?” Erin shouted. “I didn’t ask for this. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to feel this way. But I love you, and I wanted us to be together, and if you hadn’t avoided me all week we could have talked it through. I thought about it, Charlotte. I didn’t go out and sleep with half the town to figure out what I feel.”

  Charlotte hung her head. “I’m so sorry. I’m not sure I can handle this. I mean, what will my parents say? I got sent to the other side of the country just for being friends with you.” The tears she thought had dried up fell again from her eyes. Firm hands gripped her wrists.

  “Do it,” Erin urged. “Make the sign.” She pulled Charlotte’s hands up between them.

  Slowly Charlotte looped her fingers into a chain.

  “Remember, we’re unbreakable. We’ll figure it all out,” Erin said calmly, her fingers gently caressing Charlotte’s wrists. “Do you feel the same way about me?”

  Charlotte raised her head and nodded. “God yes.”

  “Then we’ll figure it out.”

  Erin smiled for the first time since arriving at their rock, and it was a glorious sight to Charlotte.

  “Just stop sleeping with or trying to sleep with the rest of town and we’ll be okay.” Erin wiped the remaining tears from Charlotte’s face before leaning in to kiss her gently.

  Charlotte felt a tear slide down the side of her face towards her pillow as she remembered that night and what that kiss led to.

  ***

  Ruth was not looking forward to this conversation. Never usually one to balk at awkward conversations this could be the one that broke her. She paused briefly before pushing open the door to the vet’s office and striding in.

  “Hey, Cindy, she out back?” she asked breezily.

  Cindy looked up from behind the reception desk. “Nuh-uh, she got called out at five this morning. One of the Chadwick’s horses was foaling breech. Can I pass a message onto her?”

  Instantly Ruth regretted waiting until morning before speaking to Charlotte and reluctantly getting her agreement to talk to Erin.

  “Any idea when she’ll be back?”

  Cindy shook her head. “Nope sorry. She did say she hoped to be back for the cookout.”

  “Well, when she’s back you tell her I need to speak with her urgently before she comes to the cookout.”

  Scrawling the message onto her pad, Cindy nodded. “Sure. See you later. It should be a good’un.”

  Ruth smiled apprehensively. “Yeah it should.”

  ***

  “How come you look so bright-eyed this morning?” Molly grumbled towards Charlotte, as she sat down beside her equally tired-looking sister and swiped her coffee.

  Charlotte turned around from the stove where she was making scrambled eggs and waved the wooden spoon in her hand. “What do you mean?”

  “Seriously? You managed to sleep through all that noise?” Molly asked incredulously. “I swear my apartment in Manhattan is quieter than this place.”

  Dishing out the eggs onto plates, Charlotte frowned. “You mean the sound of th
e crickets?”

  Molly took a long, satisfying drink of her sister’s coffee. “If that’s what made that infernal noise all night, then yes.”

  “Y’all spend too much time in the city.”

  Charlotte ran water into the pot and started to clean it out. Today she would see Erin and hopefully not just from a distance. Despite thinking about it constantly during the night she still had no idea what to say to her, other than how sorry she was at how things worked out.

  She stopped scrubbing, held her hands still in the water and closed her eyes. Swallowing hard she imagined herself speaking to Erin. Yet every time her mouth opened no words would come. All she could think of was placing her hands on Erin’s cheeks and kissing her. She was so absorbed by the thought she missed Molly’s attempt to get her attention.

  “Charlotte! What in the hell is that noise?”

  Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Charlotte turned towards the table and listened. She broke out into a grin as she picked up the noise. “That’s the eldest Carter boy. God, he must be twenty-one by now. He was just a baby when I left.” She spotted Molly’s irritation at her rambling. “Ruth said we might hear him when she stopped round earlier. Apparently he traced his family tree, and there’s Scottish somewhere in there so he’s taking to—”

  “Sacrificing a small animal?”

  Charlotte laughed. “No! Learning the bagpipes.”

  Molly scrunched her face up. “Does he have to play them in town?”

  “Oh, he’s not in town,” Charlotte said drying her hands. “He’s a couple mile out but if the wind blows the wrong way it carries the sound apparently. Just be grateful they managed to get him to play later. Ruth said when he started he would play at five in the morning.”

  She tossed the towel in Molly’s direction. “Just remember whose fault it is we’re here. We could have been in Vegas in a casino wondering what time it was while we lost money. Instead I’m facing a day where I will no doubt run into my mother.”

  “And Erin?” Ellie added softly.