Saving Grace

by H. P. Munro

  “Your father and I have decided I should be the one to handle this matter. Becoming aware of your only daughter’s dalliance with the same-sex is not palatable for a man of your father’s upbringing.”

  Charlotte blinked back tears and nodded, hoping she could at least open the dialogue she took a hesitant step towards the table. “I’m sorry you found out the way you did. I know—”

  Virginia slammed her hand down on the table stopping her from continuing.

  “Do not presume to tell me what I do and do not know, Charlotte. I can tell you what I thought that I knew. Up until last night, I thought I had a perfectly normal daughter. A daughter that I could be proud of. One that lived up to the great tradition of our family.”

  “I’m still those things, Mama.”

  Virginia pressed her palms onto the table and leaned forward. “No you’re not. You’re a travesty. A disgrace to this name, and I will not allow your deviance to continue.”

  The rage started somewhere at the soles of her feet, gathering pace as it traveled through her body. It coursed through her like molten lava until all her hurt and frustration poured out of her mouth. “You talk about this family name like it’s something you have to preserve. We’re not royalty! We’re a generation of a family that through some awful dealings, ended up owning a town. You’re not even a Grace, you’re a Watson. You put on all these airs and graces like you’re Scarlet O'Hara.

  “You have been a pretty terrible mother up until now. God gave you this opportunity to redeem all of that by saying that you love me and that you don’t care who I love. Instead, you resort to name calling and –”

  The slap shocked both of them. Virginia stood looking at her hand as if it had secured a mind of its own, while Charlotte gasped and held her cheek. Her eyes were wide as she watched her mother.

  “How dare you say this family is nothing,” Virginia rasped. “It’s what has put a roof over your head, meals in your stomach and paid for your education.” A victorious look flashed over her mother’s features. “There are still things that we control.”

  Still holding her throbbing cheek Charlotte began to open her mouth. Her mother raised a hand to stop her, and she shrank back in expectation of another blow.

  Her movement seemed to surprise Virginia, who looked at her hand then dropped it slowly. “I discussed this with your father this morning. We’ve agreed that whatever it is you have with the Hunter girl, it stops now.”

  “I love her.”

  Virginia ignored her daughter and continued to lay out their solution. “This is just a phase. There is no need to make this bigger than it is. You can redeem yourself. You will go to college as planned and we will look for a suitor for you.”

  “You can’t just marry me off. I love her.”

  “You’re seventeen. What do you know about love?” Virginia scoffed. “In this family, duty comes first.”

  “I won’t end it.” Charlotte raised herself up defiantly.

  “If you do not agree to these terms, the sponsorship currently offered to pay for fees and tuition for the Hunter girl will be withdrawn immediately.”

  Charlotte let out a gasp. She’d ignored the plans they had for her. The details weren’t anything she hadn’t heard from her mother before, but she knew the money from the foundation was everything Erin depended on for her dream of becoming a vet.

  “You can’t do that.”

  “We can and we will. Furthermore, if I find you have been in contact with her when you are at college, we will withdraw her payments. You will end this nonsense today.”

  “When she finds out you’re holding her education to ransom over our relationship, she’ll choose our relationship.”

  Virginia sighed. “If you’re both willing to sacrifice her future for some teenage romance then you’re more foolish than I thought. I know she worked hard to get the grades to qualify for the foundation’s money. It would be a shame to see that work wasted.”

  Charlotte closed her eyes, she couldn’t let her mother ruin Erin’s future. From the moment they’d met Erin’s love of animals was apparent. From the age of eight, she’d hung around the town’s vet practice doing anything and everything she could. She’d made herself so invaluable they eventually hired her part-time when she turned sixteen. She was destined to be a veterinary surgeon.

  Charlotte opened her eyes and stared her mother down. “She won’t believe my feelings have changed,” she said, her voice quivering.

  “Then you should think hard on how best you can convince her. Because if you don’t she’ll be left working part-time in the vets for the rest of her life. This ends today, Charlotte, one way or the other.”

  “Hey.”

  The voice surprised Charlotte so much that she sat up too quickly and lost her balance. Her arms and legs flailed in vain as she tried to catch herself before she fell from the rock. She felt herself fall backward and braced herself for the inevitable landing when two arms surrounded her, halting her descent.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  Charlotte’s stomach leapt, not at the fall but at Erin’s breath against her ear. “You should have let me fall. You could have hurt yourself more,” Charlotte admonished, reluctantly extracting herself from Erin’s hold and hopping down off the rock.

  “I’m okay.”

  Looking at Erin’s pallor, Charlotte wound her arm around Erin’s waist. “You’re about to faint, you should sit down.” She carefully helped Erin to the ground, mindful of the small yelps coming from her.

  Erin gazed woozily up at Charlotte. “Fancy running into you here.”

  Letting out a relieved laugh, Charlotte sat down beside her. “Yeah, well, whenever I had a problem I always seemed to wind up here.”

  “I figured that. I went to the Anderson house first.” Erin rested her head back against the stone, closed her eyes, and took a moment to recover.

  Charlotte watched her carefully, struck by how beautiful she still was. Small lines at the edge of her eyes were the only visible difference between the teenage version of Erin that remained in Charlotte’s memory. “You cut your hair.”

  Erin popped one eye open and rolled her head so she was looking at Charlotte. “It’s been a long time. If I hadn’t cut it, I’d look like Cousin Itt by now.”

  Wiping her hand over her face in an attempt to clear her brain, Charlotte exhaled. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t meant to come out of my mouth. I was just looking at you and thinking how you haven’t changed. You’re still beautiful.”

  Charlotte could have sworn she saw tiny walls appear in Erin’s eyes. The softness in her eyes changed visibly enough that Charlotte almost recoiled. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, trying to recover ground. “When I see you, it’s like my brain goes on standby. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  Erin huffed out air and scrubbed both hands over her face. “You said you wanted to explain what happened?”

  “I do.” She reached out to place her hand on Erin’s forearm, hesitating at the last second, unsure of how her touch would be received. “I also want to apologize for earlier. I shouldn’t have said those things to Sam.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have.” Erin spun her head around to glare at Charlotte. “I don’t like having my private business become the fodder for town gossip. Between you and my pig-headed brother you’ve given them enough to be going on with ’til Christmas.”

  Charlotte felt her cheeks flame in embarrassment. “I am sorry.” She scrunched her face up in attrition. “If you want I can go moon Harvey Mack and get myself arrested. That should take the heat off you for a bit?”

  Relief blossomed in Charlotte’s chest when Erin laughed.

  “I may take you up on that.”

  Erin relaxed back against the rock. Sensing a slight thaw in her demeanor, Charlotte decided to take the bull by the horns.

  “She saw us in the pool that night. She was waiting for me when I got in. She said she would speak to Daddy, and we would discuss it in the
morning. I swear that night I thought a hundred times about just packing my bags, climbing out of the window, and coming to you. There’s still a bit of me wonders what would have happened if I’d done that.”

  She swallowed hard, trying to shift the lump that had taken up residence in her throat. Sounds of leaves rustling and birds chirping faded into the background. All she was aware of was her heart beating steadily in her chest and the soft breathing of Erin next to her.

  “The next morning, it was just her. Daddy was so disappointed in me that he couldn’t even face me.” She tried desperately not to cry. “I never saw him again. I can’t even remember the last conversation I ever had with him.”

  Wordlessly Erin pulled Charlotte into her arms.

  Charlotte allowed the comfort for a few moments before shaking her head and pulling back. She wiped uselessly at her face in an attempt to remove the evidence of her grief. “I’m sorry. I’m meant to be explaining. This is supposed to be about you not me.”

  Erin reached and placed a lock of hair behind Charlotte’s ear. “It’s about both of us.”

  Nodding, Charlotte took a few breaths to compose herself before she continued with her story. “I got the ‘you’re a disgrace to the family’ speech and how while I was away at college they would ‘find me a nice boy to marry’.” She heard Erin’s hollow laugh. “I know. It was a variation on the same theme I’d been hearing since I was thirteen but this time I got angry. I said some stuff I probably shouldn’t have, and she hit me.”

  Charlotte raised her hand to her cheek as if still able to feel the heat caused by her mother’s blow after all this time. “And that’s when my parents showed how creative they could be at manipulating me. I was told I was to end our relationship and have no further contact with you, or your sponsorship would be pulled. All your dreams, all your desires would just vanish.”

  “I can’t believe they did that,” Erin whispered.

  They sat in silence both absorbing her account of events. Charlotte toyed with the hem of her T-shirt waiting on Erin’s saying something, anything.

  Erin scrambled to her feet, wincing at the effort. “And I can’t believe you let them.” She looked down at Charlotte. “We could have worked something out, done something. Instead, you let them break us apart.”

  Charlotte thought her heart would shatter again at the hurt in Erin’s voice.

  “You broke my heart, Charlie. I loved you completely, and you broke my heart.”

  “I didn’t think I had a choice.” Charlotte could barely breath as she heard Erin use her nickname for the first time since her return.

  “Of course you had a choice,” Erin shouted. “I heard you say to Sam that you chose me. You chose my future? How gracious of you. What about us? You should have chosen us. All this time you let me think—”

  Charlotte interrupted Erin as her own anger ignited and she leapt to her feet. “I have a lot of regrets. I hate that I broke your heart. I hate even more that it’s taken this long for me to see you again. But I am not sorry you got the education you deserved. We were seventeen, we were kids. There were no guarantees you wouldn’t turn around and resent what you lost. College without any financial support is tough, the loans, and then working while studying.”

  “You took everything we had, everything we shared, and you ripped it up in front of me. You think that wasn’t tough?” Erin countered. “You think I don’t resent you now? You didn’t even try to fight it, Charlotte. That’s what hurts the most. You were what I wanted. You were what I desired, and you didn’t even let me choose. I thought you could do anything, that you were strong. If someone told me you’d hung the moon, I’d have believed them, and yet at the first sign of trouble you bailed. You didn’t even believe in us to give us a chance.”

  Charlotte knew her tears were renewed and flowing freely down her face. “I tried—”

  “Obviously not hard enough. I’ve got to go; I have painkillers to take.”

  With her back pressed against their rock, Charlotte’s knees buckled underneath her, and she slid down the hard surface. She sat back down on the fresh earth and sobbed as hard as she had all those years ago.

  ***

  Erin knew she only had a few minutes before she would be crying like Charlotte and for the first time ever she didn’t feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of her.

  She left the clearing and walked briskly back towards town. Thankfully the sound of Charlotte’s sobs faded with every resolute step she took. When she was sure she was out of earshot, Erin doubled over, and vomited. The pain in her ribs at the effort only slightly overshadowed the pain in her heart.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  It was unusual for Charlotte to call and ask her to come up to the house during the day. Virginia’s almost constant presence meant most of their time together was spent out in the woods that surrounded the town. Erin’s heart beat faster as she almost ran towards the Grace house.

  It had been less than twenty-four hours since she left Charlotte at the poolside and she could hardly wait to see her again. Perhaps if the coast was clear for once they could actually make love in a bed. Not that she minded their out of doors activities. She definitely had no complaints about what happened at the pool, but a bed would be a welcome change. Her footsteps increased in speed with the thought, and she was almost at a full sprint when she reached the driveway.

  Her speed faltered when she spotted Virginia Grace’s car parked to the side of the house. However, seeing the front door open and Charlotte waiting for her had her speeding up the drive towards the house.

  As she got closer she could see tell-tale traces of tears on Charlotte’s face. Her eyes were red and puffy while her whole face was paler than normal.

  “You okay?” she asked as she walked through the door Charlotte held open for her.

  Before Charlotte could respond Virginia Grace’s voice rang out in the hallway.

  “Thank you for coming, Miss Hunter. My daughter has something she would like to say to you.”

  Baffled at what was happening Erin stood switching her gaze between her girlfriend and her mother. Charlotte seemed unable or unwilling to meet her eyes and the longer they stood there in silence her feelings grew more ominous.

  “Charlie?”

  Finally, Charlotte raised her head and looked towards Erin. Her tongue darted out to lick her dry lips, an action Erin had seen countless times in prelude to a kiss. However, this time, the flip of her stomach was not caused by arousal but by fear.

  “I’ve been playing with your feelings, and I’m sorry.”

  Erin shook her head at the barely croaked out words. “What do you mean?”

  “What happened between us was a stupid teenage experiment that went on for too long. I took it too far.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “I know I shouldn’t have encouraged you, especially since I don’t feel the same way. I got distracted by having someone be in love with me.”

  “Why are you saying this?” Erin looked accusingly over towards Virginia. “What has she threatened you with?”

  Charlotte took a breath, gazed at Virginia, and straightened her spine. She stood stock still and met Erin’s eyes for the first time since her arrival. “My college fund. It’s my future. I’m not willing to risk that for you. What we have isn’t worth that.”

  Erin stumbled back as if hit in the chest. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I am. I’ve worked hard to get into Cornell. I’m not going to give it up for you.” Charlotte lowered her eyes as she delivered the fatal blow. “You’re not worth it.”

  An ache settled deep in Erin’s chest as she felt each word spoken by Charlotte cleave pieces from her heart. She glanced at Virginia and had to fight the urge to punch the older woman.

  Looking at Charlotte one last time Erin shook her head and blinked back the tears that were falling.

  “Congratulations, Charlotte, you’ve managed to become the one thing you always said you didn’
t want to be.”

  Turning to leave, her eyes caught sight of Charlotte’s hands moving.

  Erin sat up abruptly in bed and yelped at the pain in her side. Once her breathing had returned to normal, she swung her legs out of the bed and stood shakily. It wasn’t uncommon for her dreams to return to that day, and she was used to her brain repeating what was easily one of the worst days of her life. However, as she trod down the stairs to get a glass of water she couldn’t shake the feeling that this time it was different.

  She turned the faucet on and stared out into the darkness. She held her glass under the stream of water as she replayed the dream. She mentally ticked off the components; Virginia Grace and her annoying pompous face, Charlotte and her vicious words, and then a vague memory of Charlotte inserted itself into her checklist, most specifically Charlotte’s hands.

  She frowned wondering whether the memory had always been there or was it something she’d created recently. She struggled to try to recall what it was about Charlotte’s hands that bothered her.

  When her brain finally supplied the answer, she turned off the water, placed her glass into the sink, and left the kitchen. Ignoring her attire and lack of footwear, she opened her front door and set off towards the Anderson house.

  ***

  The loud thumping woke Charlotte. She groggily made her way down the stairs to the front door, ready to shout at whoever thought it appropriate to bang on her door at three in the morning. She opened the door forcefully and was ready to let rip when Erin barged past her.

  “What the—?”

  Erin spun around with a wild expression on her face. “How did you try?”

  Charlotte looked at the woman standing in the hallway. With her sleep-disheveled hair, tight tank top, and striped shorts she wondered whether Erin had over medicated and considered calling Maddie.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Earlier. You said you tried. How?”

  Finally realizing what Erin was asking, Charlotte slowly moved her hands and with her fingers, formed interlocking circles.