Mocklore Box Set (Mocklore Chronicles)

by Tansy Rayner Roberts

  These are stories about witches who know that fairy tales exist; witches who know about the dangers of cackling too much and getting a reputation for gingerbread houses. Wyrd Sisters is about what happens when the legends and stories about witches are used against them as a weapon; and how they fight back. It was fascinating to reread this one so soon after reading I Shall Wear Midnight, because there are huge parallels between the plots of the two books, another reason why I thought at the time that Pratchett had deliberately written it as his last witch book, tying up the last remaining threads of the characters.

  But back to Wyrd Sisters! The female characters are absolutely in command here, on both sides of the story—the Duchess is a magnificently awful villain, one in a long line of marvellous female antagonists set against Granny Weatherwax, and she completely overshadows her husband, as is appropriate considering the parallels to Lady Macbeth.

  I also want to mention that there are some fantastic male characters in this book. Pratchett writes very interesting and complex male characters who work against the traditions of masculine fantasy heroes, the most obvious early examples being Rincewind, Mort and Vimes. One who often gets forgotten about, however, is the Fool in Wyrd Sisters. Everyone else is taking part in a comedy, up to and including the ghost of the dead king, but the Fool walks in a tragedy, carrying an abusive past and a more recent emotional burden along with his unwavering, committed loyalty to Duke Felmet, the villain of the piece. Even when he’s being funny—and he is very funny—he’s utterly miserable. The romance between Magrat and the Fool, with its many wrong turns and awkward silences, is one of the most egalitarian and sincere love stories I have come across in fantasy fiction. On the other side of the scale, Tomjon is a great creation, and I like what Pratchett says about destiny and kings through his character—for all this story is mostly about Shakespeare’s stories, it also nicely undercuts some of the sillier notions of fantasy fiction, notably the legend of the lost king turning out to be exactly what his kingdom needs despite no actual training, a trope that Pratchett also plays with to great effect in the City Watch books. The relationship between Tomjon and his sidekick, the playwriting dwarf Hwel, is a pleasure to read.

  Ultimately, the best thing about this book is that triad of witches: Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick, each such vibrant characters that they leave the rest in the shade. The scene in which the three of them perform a huge feat of magic, recharging broomsticks and flying around the kingdom to transport it in time, is epic and breathtaking—though any scene with the three of them in it makes me happy, even if it’s them talking about cups of tea and what kind of sandwiches they like best.

  After my Wyrd Sisters reread, I moved straight on to Witches Abroad (1991), which has always been one of my favourites: this is the Discworld novel which most effectively deals with the role of the witch in stories and fairytales, and is pure Ogg-Weatherwax-Magrat hilarity from beginning to end.

  Only when listening to Nigel Planer read the unabridged book did I realise something I had never entirely noticed before: this is a fantasy novel in which all the important characters are women. This is a fantasy novel by a bestselling male author in which all the important characters are women. We have the trio of Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat, travelling to foreign parts. We have the witches/cooks of Genua: Lilith, Mrs Pleasant, and Mrs Gogol. We have Emberella, the hub around which the story is constructed. But the only male characters of any note are a) a frog turned into a prince who rarely speaks and is basically a Maguffin, b) a cat-turned-human who has no agency, barely any voice, and no personal needs beyond a bowl of fish-heads, c) a zombie, and, d) a dwarf one-note-joke about Casanova, who arrives in the final act and provides some comic relief. (Casanunda becomes a far more important character in later books, but really if it wasn’t for that I’d not have bothered to mention him at all.)

  How rare is it to find a book that does this? How rare to have a story with so many women in it that you don’t even need a romance because the women already have plenty to do? In the fantasy genre. This revelation completely did my head in, forcing me to re-evaluate a novel that I had already loved for half my life.

  Despite the glamour girls and snarky wenches which mostly populate the first decade of Discworld, the witch books redeem this period for me as a feminist reader. They are packed with female protagonists who are allowed to be as three dimensional, complicated, flawed and fascinating as Pratchett’s best male protagonists, and are also allowed to be more important than the men in their stories.

  But that’s not the good news. The good news is that after this, Terry Pratchett only got better at writing women—and in particular, at writing young women who had a soul as well as (or even instead of) a great rack. There was Angua, Cheery, Agnes/Perdita, Susan Sto Helit and Sacharissa Cripslock. There was even another book that featured all female protagonists (and no witches)…but I’ll get to that eventually.

  WANT MORE? Read the rest of the essays in Pratchett’s Women: unauthorised essays on the female characters of Discworld, also by Tansy!

  The Great Abridged Mocklore Chronological Timeline

  AUTHOR’S NOTE: this timeline is a monster. The full version is forty pages long. It began because the second Mocklore book, Liquid Gold, involved time travel, and I had to keep track of things. Then it got a little…out of control, and suddenly I had outlined over a century of Mocklore history including the geneology of every major character and quite a few minor characters.

  This version is highly abridged, to cover the fifty or so year period most relevant to the published Mocklore works, and the Bounty/Delta stories in particular. But you can definitely see the shape of several dozen more stories that I meant to write, and almost certainly won’t get around to now…maybe. Possibly. We’ll see.

  The numbering of the years are for my benefit; in Mocklore, numbers are never used except unofficially. Year 1 marks the beginning of the reign of Timregis.

  31 The Year of the Scarlet Skull-shaped Omen — Nellisand Witchdaughter marries Vicious Bigbeard Daggersharp. They launch a new ship, the Saltwitch. Delta and Theta Void born.

  32 The Year of the Vampyre Aelves — The Faerie Quene and the Faerie Prinse are banished behind the Icewall. Bounty Fenetre born to Sukie Fenetre and Lord Nanneke of the Hobgoblins. Someone claiming to be the Faerie Quene contacts Zibria, demanding a tithe of seven young people every seven years.

  33 The Year of the Meaningful Comet — Luc Triclover born to Ma Fortuna and Old Ticker Triclover. Imago Void launches a clockwork comet into the sky which returns every thirteen and a half years; whatever shape you see when you gaze at it is incredibly meaningful.

  34 The Year of the Unnamed Plague — Princess Keela becomes Lord of Teatime. Demond Death-Iris is made Prime Minister of Mocklore.

  35 The Year of the Underworld Strike — Sparrow found as baby in the Troll Triangle. Princess Svenhilda is born to Jarl Erik and Wench Brunlinde. Mindette Masters leaves the Saltwitch and goes to work at the Polyhedrotechnical in Cluft, founding the Department of Certain Death.

  36 The Year of the Sculpted Concubine — Kassa born to Vicious Bigbeard Daggersharp and Black Nell Witchdaughter. Daggar, Sparrow and Tione visit from twenty-three years in the future. Lady Talle of Zibria is born to Princess Medusa. (Liquid Gold)

  37 The Year of the Knight of Knights — Baron Camelot of Eaglesbog rescues the Empress Ilia Rose from the last giant dragon in Mocklore and is named Legendary Knight of Knights. Prince Randolf of Skullcap accidentally falls down six flights of poisoned stairs and is killed. The Saltwitch is scuppered, and at Black Nell’s insistence, is replaced with two ships, Bigbeard’s Dread Redhead and Nell’s Splashdance. Tybalt Ramses III arrives to join the crew of the Dread Redhead, but Bigbeard and Black Nell duel to see who gets the new crewmember. Nell wins.

  38 The Year Cluft Mysteriously Vanished — Empress Ilia Rose runs away with Baron Eaglesbog. Timregis hires warlocks to extend the Skullcaps far enough to swallow Eaglesbog
completely (Cluft vanishes as a possible side effect). The Baron and Empress assume new identities – Tedd and Leda Smith, who open a Smithy and Embroidered Tapestry shop in Skullcap.

  39 The Year of the Touchstone — Panthas the Heartless (god of nasty tricks) casts down a huge rock from the heavens and abducts five mortal females to sit on top of it: Princess Medusa of Zibria, Black Nell Daggersharp, Chief Profit-scoundrel Hermiona, Wench Brunhilde of Axgaard and Princess Svenhilda. Young pirate Tybalt Ramses III rescues them. This was a prime incident cited as justification for the Decimalisation. Tithe.

  40 The Year of the Triangular Trews

  41 The Year of the Bountiful Goose — Prince Freifried, first son of Jarl Erik, is disgraced when he marries one of his father’s Wenches, Melinor.

  42 The Year of the Shiny Stone — Abridged from “The Year of the Shiny Stone which our beloved Emperor caught sight of in a fountain and knighted it on the spot, keeping it as his best friend, confidante and bodyguard until getting into a long argument with it about politics and having it executed.”

  43 The Year of Profit — Daggar joins the Profithood. Zelora Footcrusher marries Braided Bones of the Languid Isles.

  44 The Year of the Inside-Out Outback — Teenagers Delta and Theta Void (assisted by Bounty Fenetre) visit the Outback for their switcher initiation and end up turning the Outback inside out—both lose many personae in the process. Sean McHagrty born.

  45 The Year of Several Less Meaningful Comets — Braided Bones joins the crew of the Dread Redhead. Bounty Fenetre joins the Triclover household. (Hobgoblin Boots)

  46 The Year of the Superflood — Zelora joins Hidden Army. Aragon Silversword becomes Imperial Champion. Griffin born to Tedd and Leda Smith. Hermiona dies, and leaves Daggar the Royal Seal of Gazparta. He uses it as a bootscraper. Clio born to Dahla Wagstaff-Lamont and Bleyn Silversword. Egfried Friefriedsson born to Friefried Jarlsson and Melinor. Tithe.

  47 The Year those Blighted Mazes came Back — The second maze invasion. Dahla Wagstaff-Lamont is killed in a house fire.

  48 The Year Cluft Mysteriously Returned — Princess Ranoma of Skullcap and her entourage accidentally squished by returned city. Vice-Chancellor Bertie of Cluft publishes a thesis on large, destructive magical activities.

  49 The Year of the Twenty Trolls — Bounty and Luc leave home to Seek Their Fortune. A rumour spreads that a new hero in the land slew twenty trolls in one day, without a sword. Bounty enters the OtherRealm. (Hobgoblin Boots)

  50 The Year of the Glimmer — Kassa Daggersharp turns fourteen. Bleyn Silversword arrested for treason against the Emperor and executed by the Imperial Champion, his brother Aragon.

  51 The Year of the Decimalisation — Emperor Timregis reduces the number of Mocklore’s gods to ten. Splashdance scuppered by Bigbeard Daggersharp. Kassa sent to finishing school, meets Talle of Zibria.

  52 Year of the Frightened Hedgehogs — Prince Radcliff of Skullcap caught in a stampede of hedgehogs and killed. The three sons of the Sultan of Zibria go a questing—only Prince Marmaduc returns in human form. Prince Bartfried killed in an accidental axe-thowing incident. Princess Bjornhilde of Axgaard joins the Order of Sparkling Nuns. Lady Luck, Amorata and Destiny decide that the greatest hero in Mocklore should decide which of them is most beautiful. Luc Triclover starts running. Bounty Fenetre returns from the OtherRealm. (Hobgoblin Boots)

  53 Year of the Purple Plague — Marmaduc XV becomes Sultan after his father dies of Purple Plague. He immediately proposes marriage to his ‘cousin’ Talle (technically his niece, though they are the same age) who runs away to hide in the imperial harem of Dreadnought. Having run out of heirs, Lord Rynehart of Skullcap tracks down his illegitimate children, Rorey and Ranessa. Aragon Silversword meets Bounty Fenetre. Final tithe. (Queen of Courtesans)

  54 Year of the Tidal Puddle — Princess Ranessa of Skullcap imprisoned for two counts of murder. Delta Void contracts herself to work for the Silver Warlock. Jarl Erik of Axgaard dies of the Purple Plague. His last son, Prince Thorfried, dies of an overdose of celebratory beer. Princess Svenhilda of Axgaard becomes Jarl Lordling of Axgaard, having run out of brothers. (Delta Void and the Unicorn Soup, Delta Void’s Day Off, Delta Void and the Clockwork Man, Delta Void and the Stray God)

  55 Year of the Dead Timregis — Lord Rynehart of Skullcap accidentally poisoned by his wife. Prince Rorey becomes Lordling of Skullcap. Aragon Silversword assassinates Emperor Timregis, and is arrested by Prime Minister Death-Iris. A replacement Emperor steps in “to keep the peace”—the Silver Warlock.

  56 Year of Too Many Emperors — Braided Bones cursed. Princess Ranessa, begins as Professor of Assassination at the Polyhedrotechnical, and is promptly assassinated by Gootch, a mature age student. The Silver Warlock is removed from imperial office—literally—by the Profithood. Also ruling Mocklore this year: Emperor Bjornfried, Emperor Iulius (forcibly removed from the throne by his daughters the Void sisters), Emperor McHagrty I (former Captain of the Blackguards), Emperor Barnard, Emperor Lazarus, Emperor Boris (who brings Cutlass Cooper as his bodyguard), and Emperor Cutlass.

  57 Year of Even More Emperors — In which Mocklore is ruled by Emperor Cutlass, Emperor McHagrty II (son of McHagrty I), Emperor Pookie, Emperor Bear-face, Emperor Superhuman, Emperor Minstrels (a band of wandering minstrels named Ion, Pale, Jorge and Stud-nose, who were in the wrong place at the wrong time), Emperor Frey, Emperor Silver Warlock (again), Emperor Abulus, Emperor Blackheart V (real name: Berthold Winebutter), Emperor Mustenny, Emperor Dianthus, and Emperor Silver Warlock (yet again). Kassa Daggersharp takes a job at the Whet and Whistle tavern.

  58 The Year of the Second Glimmer — Emperor Silver Warlock is challenged by the warlock Maarstigan, who wins by right of combat. After two months on the throne, Emperor Maarstigan implodes during a nasty alchemical incident. Talle the courtesan becomes the Lady Emperor. (Splashdance Silver)

  59 The Year of the Plentiful Dandelions — History of this year sequestered by order of the Brewmistress due to time travel complications. (Liquid Gold.)

  60 Year of the Beautiful Lady — AKA “Year that the Astoundingly Beautiful and Talented Lady Emperor discovered she had the Power to name each Year, all Hail the Lady Emperor.” Kassa Daggersharp joins the Polyhedrotechnical College of Higher Learning as a professor.

  61 Year of the Mystical Lake — AKA “Year that the Glorious Empire of Mocklore was enriched by the reappearance of the long-lost Mystical Lake, all hail the Magnanimous and Humble Lady Emperor.” Third and final maze invasion.

  62 Year of the Historians — AKA “The Year that the Lady Emperor got bored with naming the Years and Returned that Duty to the capable hands of her Historians, thank all the Gods.”

  63 Year of Drak — The first-year intake at the Polyhedrotechnical includes Sean McHagrty (again), Clio Wagstaff-Lamont and Egfried Friefriedsson. (Ink Black Magic)

  83 Year of the Greyest Winter — (Alternate Reality) (Liquid Gold)

  Also by Tansy Rayner Roberts

  BELLADONNA UNIVERSITY

  Friendship, geeky rock music, romance and witchcraft: a series of fun romantic (and bromantic) comedies about student housing at an Australian magical university.

  Fake Geek Girl (Belladonna University #1)

  Hebe Hallow’s popular twin sister is the lead singer of Fake Geek Girl, a nerdy rock band for witches. When the mysteriously pretty Ferdinand Chauvelin falls into her life, Hebe finds herself centre stage for the first time, while everything for her friends and family begins to fall apart.

  Unmagical Boy Story (Belladonna University #2)

  Viola Vale is a magical postgraduate student who should be working on an important paper, not embarking on a wild Friday night quest to reclaim her best friend from the geeky rock band who stole him, battle a few ice trolls & hook up with a hot artist who is very good with his hands.

  The Bromancers (Belladonna University #3)

  Hebe, Holly, Sage & Juniper take the band on the road to a music festival at Mandrake Sands… no ro
mantic drama or significant others allowed! But zealous fans have different plans for Fake Geek Girl… is this the end for the band?

  COOKIE-CUTTER SUPERHEROES

  Kid Dark Against The Machine

  Years ago, Griff was a superhero sidekick who broke the rules and ran away so he wouldn’t be stripped of his powers once he served his time… but his quiet life as an orphanage handyman is disrupted when one of the kids starts turning into a supervillain.

  Girl Reporter

  Friday Valentina is a 21st century Girl Reporter, a bisexual Millennial news vlogger who obsesses professionally over superheroes and their shenanigans. When her mother, famous journalist Tina Valentina, goes missing in pursuit of a story, it’s up to Friday and a bunch of superhero friends to save the day... in an alarmingly retro extra-dimensional spaceship. Friday wants to learn everything about superheroes, but she isn’t prepared for all the secrets she is about to uncover.

  CASTLE CHARMING

  It’s not easy to live your best fairy tale life! The Royals of Castle Charming melt down on a regular basis, the Hounds do their best to clean up the mess, and the Quills of the local newspaper are there to capture the gossip and scandals. A sweet gay romance is at the heart of this action-packed series of adventures and epic friendship.

  Glass Slipper Scandal (Castle Charming #1)