La Familia

by Paradise Gomez

  That ominous feeling grew deeper around me. I felt paralyzed for a moment. I just wanted him to leave. Please God, let him leave or have him leave me alone. Please.

  “I can really hurt you, Mouse. You know that right?” he exclaimed.

  I knew he could.

  “Why would you wanna fuck wit’ me? Huh? Why?”

  I was silent, frozen with fear.

  “Answer me, bitch!”

  Please God, let him go away. Please!

  It was the only time I would pray to God.

  I felt him coming much closer to me. I never felt so vulnerable in my life, like I was small prey about to be captured in a predator’s sharp teeth and devoured ferociously. He had his fist clenched. The other hand wouldn’t let go of that liquor bottle. Tonight, his choice was Russian vodka. He continued scowling at me.

  “Hector, what the fuck you doin’!” I heard someone say. “That’s your daughter, puta.”

  I looked up and saw Rodriguez standing in the doorway of my bedroom with a displeased look at my father. Hector spun around and growled, “Puta, don’t tell me what to fuckin’ do in my own home.”

  Rodriquez stared at me. His look showed that he was concerned. I wanted him to . . . shit, I was begging with my eyes for him to intervene. When he stepped farther into my bedroom and looked at Hector with his hard eyes, I felt my prayers had been answered. Rodriquez and my father went way back, since childhood crime partners in the Dominican Republic. And Rodriquez was one of the very few who wasn’t scared of my father. He had known me since I was a baby. He was my godfather.

  “Hector, you need to chill. That’s your little girl, man, and my fuckin’ goddaughter,” Rodriquez shouted.

  “She disrespected me. She’s a fuckin’ whore,” Hector exclaimed.

  “Mouse is no whore, yo,” Rodriquez argued. “Ya drunk, nigga.”

  “I ain’t fuckin’ drunk.”

  “Mouse, get dressed. I got this,” Rodriquez said to me.

  He didn’t have to tell me twice. I jumped up from the floor and grabbed my clothes from the chair. But Hector refuted. He shot a murderous look at me and screamed, “Bitch, don’t you go anywhere!”

  Rodriquez chimed in. “She’s leaving for the night, Hector. And I’m serious!”

  While the two argued, I threw on my jeans and shirt, and then my sneakers. My father tried to come at me, but Rodriquez came in between us. He was like my shield. He told me, “Just get out of here, Mouse. I got this.”

  I hurried from my bedroom. I could hear them going at it. They started screaming at each other in Spanish. Like I said, Rodriquez was only one of a few who wasn’t scared of my father. He was crazy too, and had a treacherous past.

  The living room was filled with men smoking and drinking. They were lounging everywhere. When they saw me, I held their attention like I was a lamb running through a lion’s den. Their looks manifested their strong hunger for me. It didn’t matter that I was Hector’s daughter; these horny-ass muthafuckas still wanted to fuck me.

  I made my way up to the building rooftop. When things became too stressful and hectic at home, it was one of the places I escaped to. Lucky for me it was a nice and warm night. I walked toward the end and collapsed against the gravel underneath my feet. I gazed up at the stars and wished I were one of them. The ones showing in New York were so bright to me and were always seen from everywhere on this earth. No matter where you were, from America to China, the stars were always there. It made me want to reach out and grab one and palm it in my hand. I just wanted to get away, go somewhere far. If I could only fly, I would do it every night and probably never come back here. But I would bring Sammy with me for sure.

  Chapter Four

  Mouse

  I ended up staying the night at Tina’s place. Fortunately for me, her mother was working the night shift and she allowed me to crash on her couch. I slept like a newborn. Tina’s place was so cozy and tranquil that you would forget she lived in the projects too. It made me want a home like this. I yearned for the stability and love that Tina had with her moms. Being at Tina’s place was like having a slice of heaven while being in the projects. From having cable TV to food in the fridge and peace of mind while you slept, shit, I would kill for that.

  The only reason I didn’t go over to Sammy’s was because her place was like mines: hell. With her mother being sick, and having niggas in and out, I would have gone crazy.

  I rose up and sat upright on the couch. It was afternoon again and the sun was percolating through the windows, indicating that it was another beautiful day. I remained on the couch for a moment. I was thinking about some things. I had more lyrics swimming around in my head. I was ready to hear a beat and start spitting. Last night’s episode with my father wasn’t the first time, and if I continued to stay there, it sure wasn’t going to be the last. I had to get away, and the only way I saw getting away was via music or Rico.

  Tina came into the living room with a smile. “You okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I’m good.”

  She already knew about the rough night with my father. The incident was nothing new to her and it wasn’t the first time I had to crash at her place because of my father’s drinking and abuse. It was becoming like a second home to me.

  “You hungry? You want some breakfast?” she asked.

  I was starving. I hadn’t eaten anything solid in two days. I nodded. Tina was a great cook. With her mother always working or going to Atlantic City, she learned things on her own, like Sammy and me.

  While she was in the kitchen preparing breakfast, I went into the bathroom to shower and wash up. I had to be at work in two hours. It was only a part-time job at a video/music store on Jerome Avenue. My cousin hooked me up with the job, knowing my passion for music; he figured it would be a good start to work around something that I loved. The manager was cool and I sometimes got away with a lot of things, like coming in late, leaving early, or sometimes not coming to work at all. But I would call in. They said the manager was scared of my daddy and it was the only reason he hadn’t fired me yet.

  I took a long, hot shower. I just wanted to wash my pain away. The water cascaded on me like a tropical waterfall and it was so soothing. In my apartment, sometimes the hot water didn’t work. I exhaled and soaped my body from head to toe. When I stepped out, I could smell Tina’s cooking. I couldn’t wait to eat. I toweled off, got dressed for work, and went into the kitchen for breakfast.

  While eating eggs and French toast, Tina and I talked. I told her about Rico. We all grew up together. My time and talk with Tina was refreshing. The only one missing was Sammy, but I didn’t want to call her because the first thing she would have gone into was how I dissed her and Search for Rico. I just needed a break.

  When I left Tina’s apartment I had the urge to call Rico back. He was constantly on my mind. It felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t hear his voice again or see him sometime soon. The minute I stepped off the elevator and into the lobby, my fingers were dialing his number. With the cell phone pressed to my ear, it rang a few times, and when I thought I was going to get his voice mail, his voice chimed through the phone.

  “Hey, beautiful,” he answered.

  I immediately smiled. “Hey.”

  “It’s ’bout time you called me back,” he said coolly.

  “I had a rough night, but I’m okay now.”

  “What happened?” he asked with concern.

  “It’s somethin’ I don’t want to talk about right now.”

  “I understand. So when I’m gonna get to see you again?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. Anytime.”

  “Anytime, huh? So how about today?”

  “Today’s good. Oh, but I’m workin’ this afternoon,” I mentioned.

  “What time you get off?”

  “At six this evening.”

  “So how ’bout this, I’ll come get you after work and we can chill. I wanna do somethin’ wit’ you,” he said.

  “Real
ly?”

  “Yeah. I’ve been thinking about you a lot.”

  “You have?” I said excitedly.

  “Yup. You’ve been on my mind and we gotta link up.”

  “I’m definitely down.”

  “So text me the address to ya job and I’ll come scoop you up around six, a’ight?”

  I was smiling so heavily that it felt like I was a permanent smiley face. “I can do that,” I replied.

  “A’ight, beautiful. You do that, and I’ll see you in a few hours. We can go do somethin’ special,” said Rico coolly.

  When he hung up I felt like doing cartwheels around the projects. I couldn’t wait until my shift ended. I walked toward the train station with such a huge smile that I felt nothing could ruin my day. I had forgotten about last night’s incident with my father and wanted to put that behind me. I had to move on. It was critical for me to become a success and find love in my life.

  I arrived early to work and was like high off of life. The manager, Damien Green, greeted me with his usual smile.

  “Hey, Mouse.”

  “Hey, Damien,” I greeted him with my own matching smile.

  He was such a nice guy. I rarely saw him angry or upset with anyone. Some of the employees thought he was a pushover, but we had it easy. The job at the record shop was simple: assist the customers who walked inside the place, know your music and certain genres, not just rap and R&B, but others too, and stay jovial. I mean, we didn’t have to wear any uniforms, or work in a hot and sweaty-ass kitchen, because the store was air conditioned; and we got to listen to music on the job or watch videos on the flat screen mounted on the wall in the store. And the pay was okay: eight dollars an hour part time. I was only eighteen and was able to live off that, temporarily anyway.

  I quickly got on my job and started stocking the new CDs that just recently came in. Damien was working the cash register and Sophia was working the floor with me. It was a slow afternoon, so we spent the day talking and assisting the few customers who came into the store. My mind stayed on Rico. I was ready to write a rhyme about him. I wanted six p.m. to hurry up and come. I could only imagine what he had planned for us.

  The duration of the day I spent in the back room going through open boxes of albums and videos, sorting everything out in alphabetical order. It was a tedious task, but I didn’t mind it. I was listening to Drake’s new album and sipping on a Slurpee. It was an hour from my shift ending and I couldn’t wait.

  As I was going through the boxes, my cell phone rang. It was Sammy.

  “Hey, girl,” I answered.

  “You at work?” she asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “What time you get off today?” Sammy asked.

  “At six,” I said.

  “Let’s go out and do somethin’ tonight,” she suggested.

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not?” she asked.

  “I already made plans.”

  “Plans? With who?”

  I didn’t want to tell her about Rico picking me up. But I hated lying to Sammy.

  “I ain’t gonna sugarcoat it, Sammy. Rico’s picking me up after work,” I said.

  “Oh, he is,” she replied, sounding edgy about it.

  “Yeah,” I replied.

  She was silent. I didn’t want to make it feel like I was dissing her. So I said, “But we’re still on for the studio tomorrow, right?”

  “Yeah, it’s still on,” she said dryly.

  “So after we do our thang in the studio, we can go hang out, probably go cause some trouble in Times Square,” I suggested.

  “You already know how we do, Mouse. They gonna chase us out of there like they did last time.” She laughed.

  “It was your fault,” I chimed.

  “My fault. You were the one who smacked that bitch in the face right in public.”

  “You started to argue wit’ that dumb bitch first. But I had ya back. And she shouldn’t have gotten in my face like that. That bitch lucky she ain’t get cut that fuckin’ night.”

  “I know right. She was a dumb, bird-lookin’ bitch. But you know ya crazy, Mouse,” Sammy said humorously.

  “And you crazy right behind me.”

  We both laughed.

  “So tomorrow then,” said Sammy.

  “Tomorrow,” I returned.

  “And don’t be late, Mouse. You already know how you are.”

  “Please, I’m always on time.”

  “For what?”

  “For us.”

  “A’ight, yeah, whatever. Talk to you, bye,” said Sammy.

  She hung up. I was happy she didn’t stress about me going out with Rico tonight. I probably would have to curse my best friend out if she did. Shit, I needed some male attention. I needed to do something different. And I think Sammy needed the same thing: some good dick in her life. It’d been a minute for the both of us. Lately, it’d been me with my crew and Sammy. And if I wasn’t with Sammy, then we were doing a show or I was home fighting off my father. Shit, people started to think that we were lesbians and fucking each other. None of that; I was strictly dickly.

  I steadily watched the clock, and when six p.m. came around I was ready to run out the doors. But there was one problem. I hadn’t heard from Rico yet. When it became six-fifteen p.m., my jovial spirit started to fade and I was starting to think that he stood me up. I called his phone twice, but it went straight to voice mail. My smile transformed into a frown. I didn’t want to go straight home and deal with my father. If Rico didn’t show up, then I was going to take Sammy up on her offer.

  “Fuck him!” I cursed to myself.

  It was still a beautiful day. I told Damien I was leaving and would see him tomorrow.

  “You okay?” Damien asked.

  I guessed he noticed the sudden frown on my face. “Yeah, I’m okay,” I replied matter-of-factly.

  “See you tomorrow then, Mouse. Enjoy the rest of the day.”

  I nodded. I thought I would, but it seemed like plans done changed all of a sudden. I exited the store. I wasn’t even outside a second yet, and there was Rico pulling to the curb in his gleaming 650i. I watched him park and didn’t know if I should smile or continue my frown and curse him out. I was ready to curse him out, though. He was a half hour late. No phone calls, no texts, what the fuck?

  Rico stepped out his ride looking like a million bucks. He was looking so good in a pair of dark jeans that sagged off his behind somewhat, a white V-neck that highlighted his strapping physique, with a gleaming, long white gold chain around his neck and wearing a different pendant, an encrusted diamond cross. He sported a pair of fresh, bright white Nikes that were the color of pure snow, a flashy Rolex, and in his ear was a diamond earring that was almost the size of a bolder. His cornrows were freshly done and spiraled down to his shoulders like little ropes.

  I took a deep breath. Damn, he looked so good.

  He smiled at me. “Hey, beautiful, sorry I’m late,” he said.

  “Damn, no phone call or texts,” I barked. I couldn’t hold it in.

  “My phone died and I left my other battery at the house,” he explained.

  I thought he was lying, but then he showed me his phone. It was dead, or maybe he just turned it off to make it seem that way.

  “I’m a busy dude. Phone always ringing about business or somethin’ else,” he said. “But better late than never, right?”

  “I guess so.”

  He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. His hug felt so good. I just wanted to melt in his arms. And he smelled so good, too. It was such a turn-on for me, a nice-smelling and well-dressed man. I felt the power of his arms wrapped around me. When he finally released me, I exhaled. He looked at me and smiled. It was contagious and I smiled too.

  “So this is where you work at, huh,” he said, looking at the record shop.

  “Yup!”

  “Nice. How long have you been working here?”

  “About a year now. I always try to keep a job.”
r />   “A woman about her business, that’s what’s up, beautiful,” he said.

  I would blush every time he would call me beautiful. Rico would gaze at me and not flinch when that word came out. I loved that he was tall and would tower over me. His eyes were pleasing against me.

  I was ready to leave. It had been a long day. Rico looked me up and down. I wasn’t dressed my best and started to become insecure because I was clad in a pair of faded jeans, a T-shirt, and sneakers—definitely not the proper attire to go out on a date with.

  “You know I just got off of work, that’s why I’m dressed like this,” I said to him.

  He smiled. “Don’t even worry about that. You still look nice, but I got you. C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

  He ushered me toward his car and I climbed inside. Once again, I felt like a queen in a Roman chariot. Rico was poised behind the wheel, looking like an emperor. He started the ignition and pulled off.

  “Where are you taking me?” I asked.

  “It’s a surprise,” he replied. “You like surprises?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Well, this one ya gonna like,” he said. “You trust me?”

  I nodded. “I trust you.” My words were followed by a smile.

  He smiled back. My heart started to race whenever he was near. I felt this electricity flowing through me, ready to spark love inside of me whenever he spoke to me. I felt something so sensational when he touched and hugged me. I lounged in the leather seat and relaxed as the car moved through the Bronx and then into Manhattan like it was gliding on ice. Rico had an R&B CD playing, by Jagged Edge. I closed my eyes and nodded to the track. The song “Promise” was a loving song. Listening to the lyrics put me into a pleasing trance:

  If you need a love, I got the love that you need

  Ain’t no way they can take that from me

  With Rico, I felt like we functioned like a well-oiled machine together, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

  He drove me to the shopping area on Fifth Avenue, a major thoroughfare in the center of the borough of Manhattan in New York City. Between Forty-ninth Street and Sixtieth Street is lined with prestigious boutiques and flagship stores, and is consistently ranked among the most expensive shopping streets in the world. From left to right, I gazed at some of the world’s luxury boutiques: Louis Vuitton, Tiffany & Co., Gucci, Adidas, Prada, Bottega Veneta, Armani, Fendi, Versace, Cartier, Tommy Hilfiger, Lord & Taylor, Saks Fifth Avenue, and so many more.