Heart of Rockies 03 - More Than a Feeling

by Sara Richardson

  On the phone she’d admitted that it was strange the thefts had started after the kids had arrived at the ranch. Between that fact and a hunch that wouldn’t leave him alone, he was pretty sure one of the kids had stolen the money. He’d place his bets on Javon.

  If this meeting went well, hopefully they’d find out soon.

  He parked the Tahoe outside the lodge and hurried across the parking lot.

  Ruby met him near the front doors. The sight of her in those cut-off shorts and a fitted V-neck stalled him. God, she was stunning.

  “Good day on the job?” she asked, pulling him in with that small, secretive smile. And yes, they did share a couple of secrets.

  Grateful no one else was around, he pulled her into his arms. “I’ve been thinking about you all morning.”

  She smoothed her hands over his uniform shirt, eyes dancing. “I’ve been a bit distracted myself.”

  She knew exactly what to say to get him going. “When can we be alone again?” he asked, flashing back to earlier that morning.

  “Hmmm…” Her folded lips teased him. “I’m busy tomorrow night. What about Friday?”

  “I don’t know if I can wait that long.”

  She relented with a lengthy sigh. “I might be able to make tonight work.” She tugged on his shirt. “As long as you wear this.”

  “You’ve got it.” He lowered his mouth to hers, tasting the sweetness of her lips. Only for a second…

  She eased her head back with an apologetic smile. “We’d better get in there. They’re waiting for us.”

  “Right. Yes.” Somehow he had to concentrate, even with the heat that woman generated inside of him.

  A soft smile plumping her lips, she took his hand and led him through the doors and into the sitting room where everyone had already gathered.

  They sat around the coffee table playing an intense game of Uno.

  “Hey, gang,” he called over the squeals and arguments.

  Some of the noise quieted.

  “Sawyer!” Brooklyn popped off the couch and ran over, throwing herself against him in a fierce hug.

  “Uff,” he grunted, exaggerating a stagger until she started to giggle.

  “Sit by me,” she begged, leading him to the couch. He sat down, and this time he didn’t dread what was coming. He cared about them. They had to know that. If they didn’t, he’d make sure they knew it today.

  “What’s up, Hawkins.” Javon high-fived him across the coffee table.

  “Why are you wearing your uniform?” Neveah was the only one who looked him over with blatant skepticism.

  “Just got off my shift,” he said casually. “Thought I’d stop by before the party tonight.”

  “And we wanted to have another chat,” Ruby added, nodding him along. She’d told him on the phone that she’d volunteered to help the girls pack up their things and she wanted to have it done before the party.

  “A chat about what?” Brooklyn asked, peering up at him with those round, angelic eyes.

  “Well…” Sawyer glanced at Ruby, who stood behind Javon’s chair. She smiled, staring back at him with confidence.

  “We still haven’t found the money that went missing,” he said carefully. “Or Avery’s bracelet.”

  Silence fell. He felt Brooklyn’s shoulder tense against his arm.

  “I’m not here to accuse anyone,” he said quickly. “I only wanted to say that I know each of you now, and…” Damn, he hadn’t counted on getting a little choked up. Though he was tempted to, he didn’t clear the emotion out of his throat. They needed to hear it. They needed to know that they mattered to him. “You guys are amazing. Each one of you is smart and kind and strong.”

  Tears slipped down Ruby’s cheeks. He blinked hard so he wouldn’t give in to the same fate. Emotion was one thing, but crying? He couldn’t do that. Especially not in his uniform. “I know you’ve had it rough. You’ve had to overcome so much.” More than any child should have to. “And I know that sometimes, when you’re afraid or not sure what’ll happen in the future, it’s easy to make a bad choice.”

  “Have you ever made a bad choice?” Brooklyn asked.

  He coughed out a laugh. “I’ve made a lot of bad choices.” Though he wouldn’t expand on his wild high school days. Didn’t want to give the kids any good ideas.

  “Even though you’re a cop?” Neveah demanded.

  “Even though I’m a cop,” he confirmed. “We all make mistakes. Making a bad choice doesn’t make you a bad person.” He snuck a glance at Javon, who’d looked down to stare at his hands. “All that matters is what you do to make it right.” He glanced around the circle at them, careful not to keep his eyes on one face for too long. “We’re here for you. All of us, me and Thomas and Ruby and Bryce.”

  “You can talk to us about anything,” Ruby added. “You never have to be afraid.”

  Sawyer shot her a grateful smile. “We’ll help you figure stuff out. That’s what we’re here for.”

  It was still quiet, but he was relieved to see that none of the kids looked terrified this time. Contemplative, maybe even grateful, but not fearful.

  “That’s all we wanted to say. We won’t bring it up again,” he said, ready to lighten the mood and help them enjoy their last few hours at the ranch. “Now who’s brave enough to take me on in a game of Uno?”

  “Brave enough?” Javon scoffed as he snatched the cards and shuffled the deck. “I’ll take you, bro. I’m the reigning champion.”

  Sawyer loosened the collar of his uniform. “Not for long.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Perfection. This is sheer perfection. Ruby’s heart silenced in awe at the beautiful scene below where she stood on the ranch’s upper patio. She didn’t want to look away. She didn’t want to even breathe, to risk altering that image of the kids playing in the pool shielded on one side by massive mountains that were carpeted with green meadows and studded with pine trees. Above them, the blue sky shimmered like silk and sunrays sparkled on the pool’s turquoise water.

  Despite the cool temperature, the kids splashed and laughed. It was the laughter that got to her most. The music of pure, innocent happiness. She’d so longed for them to have happiness, and here they were storing it up so they could take it with them when they left.

  Thomas and Elsie sat side-by-side on a bench near the water. Closer than two people who were mere friends, she observed, though she would keep it to herself. Even with all the secrets Ruby’d brought with her to the ranch, Elsie had never once pushed her to share anything she didn’t want to, and the woman definitely wasn’t ready to talk about Thomas.

  Bryce and Avery sat on the other edge of the pool, the sweetest picture of a perfect family. Bryce held the baby up, dangling her tiny toes into the water, while Avery laughed and clutched his arm.

  The door to the pool house opened and Sawyer emerged wearing dark board shorts and a T-shirt. Even from the distance, his body looked tall, muscled, and tanned, almost celestial the way that sinking sun backlit his form. She knew that body now. Knew every inch of skin beneath those shorts intimately. Her heart dove straight for her stomach. Lordy, how would she even be able to walk down there with her legs wobbling like this?

  Sawyer’s aviators were on, catching a blinding glint from the sun. Next to the pool, he pulled off his shirt and sunglasses and tossed them on a nearby table.

  Grinning, Sawyer backed up, ran hard, and catapulted himself into the air. “Cannonball!” he yelled, making the kids scream and scatter, but not in time. The massive splash still swamped them all.

  Laughter rose again, and she joined them, still on the outskirts, but not minding at all because it was so fun to watch them. Except that’s when Sawyer caught her. He seemed to search the area with those watchful eyes of his, and now his gaze homed in on her.

  Yes, her legs—and other body parts—still trembled at the sight of him, but somehow she managed to hurry down the stairs.

  Sawyer hoisted himself out of the pool and st
ood there dripping. “You’re late,” he said, eyeballing the sheer cover-up she’d borrowed along with Paige’s swimsuit.

  “At least I came,” she countered. She almost didn’t, seeing as how swimming wasn’t exactly one of her favorite activities.

  Sawyer only grinned.

  The kids lined up along the pool’s edge, most of them holding on to the side, peering up her. There was Javon and Wyatt, Neveah…“Where’s Brooklyn?” she asked.

  Neveah shrugged. “She said she’ll be out soon. I think she wanted to finish the book she was reading.”

  The book Ruby’d given her. The Secret Garden. She still had the tattered paperback that had kept her company through all of her foster homes. Something told her Brooklyn would rather escape into another world than face the impending good-bye. The girl had already cried twice while Ruby had helped her pack up her things. Her weighted heart sank. She’d give her a few minutes, then go in and find her. Somehow they all had to find a way to enjoy this night.

  “What’s in the basket?” Sawyer asked, trying to take a peek.

  “I brought dinner.” Ruby moved the picnic basket out of his reach. It was full of sandwiches and homemade sweet potato chips and sliced fruit. She’d offered to bring dinner for everyone since Elsie seemed to be so busy taking care of Thomas.

  Speaking of, she noticed Elsie had scooted farther away from him on the bench, as though she wanted to keep up appearances that there was distance between them. Too bad Thomas’s lovesick gaze gave them away.

  “Thank you for bringing dinner, dear,” the woman called. “You set it down, and have some fun. I’ll get everything organized.”

  Before she could object, Sawyer slipped the basket out of her hands and set it on the table. His hand clasped onto hers. “If I were you, I’d lose the dress thing before it gets wet.” Mischief glinted in his eyes.

  But she didn’t take it off.

  The kids went back to laughing and playing.

  Not Sawyer. He was staring at her like he couldn’t wait for her to strip down to her bikini.

  “I’m not planning to swim,” she informed him. It was more fun watching the kids enjoy the water. Especially since most of them hadn’t known how to swim before coming to the ranch.

  “You have to get in. Show off your new skills.” He didn’t let go of her hand.

  She gave him a look that clearly asked for patience. Or so she hoped. “I’ll get in soon,” she promised. Right now, the kids were obviously getting restless for him to do another cannonball.

  “Okay.” He let go of her hand and did not disappoint. This time the splash soaked her, too.

  “Watch it, man.” Bryce passed Lily to Avery. “You almost got my little girl.” He slipped into the water and started a juvenile wrestling match with Sawyer, hooking his arm around Sawyer’s neck and pulling him under the water like they were ten-year-old brothers.

  Laughing, Ruby stole Bryce’s spot next to Avery. She pulled off her cover-up and tossed it over the chair behind her, noticing that Sawyer had paused in his pursuit of Bryce. His gaze was blatant and hungry, and she knew exactly what he was thinking. She felt it, too. That need to be with him again…

  “Gotcha!” Bryce slammed into him and they both went underwater. Avery shot her a perceptive look.

  “That’s what you get for checking out a girl when you’re supposed to be playing a game,” Javon yelled, taking his own shot at Sawyer. But Sawyer caught the kid and tossed him high into the air.

  Laughing, Javon splashed into the water.

  “So I heard about last night,” Avery said casually.

  Ruby didn’t ask how she knew. Surely she’d run into Paige at some point today. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She didn’t dare turn to look into her friend’s eyes.

  “I’m talking about you and Sawyer.” She laid Lily on her lap. The baby’s eyes were wide open like she was fascinated by all the chaos around her. “He hasn’t stopped checking you out since you walked down here.”

  She could relate. She hadn’t stopped checking him out, either.

  “So is it serious?”

  “It’s complicated.” She sighed. “Wonderful, but complicated.” There was still the issue of her name. And Nellie. What would Sawyer do if he found out about Nellie?

  “Relationships usually are complicated,” Avery reminded her.

  She turned to her friend, a breath of courage fueling honesty. “I have a lot of secrets. Things you don’t know about me.” She had told Sawyer some of them, but it was time to start letting other people in, too.

  “We all have secrets, Ruby,” Avery said quietly. “Even Sawyer. He’s not perfect. Trust me. He has issues.”

  She doubted that. Sure, maybe he was a little suspicious, but that was to be expected for a cop. “No. These are big. Things that would change the way Sawyer saw me.” What would he think if he knew she was using the identity of her dead neighbor, which was against the law? What would he think if he knew she’d lied about the dog? “I have a lot to figure out.”

  “You don’t have to do it alone,” Avery said. “There’re so many people who love you. We’re all here for you.”

  It was the same message Sawyer had relayed to the kids just a few hours before. She hoped it had warmed their hearts the way it did hers. “Thank you. Really, Avery. You all have changed my life.” It was amazing how much love could do for someone. And it was so simple to offer your heart to someone else, to see the best in them and help them find it.

  Speaking of…“I think I’ll go in and see if I can find Brooklyn.” She shouldn’t be missing the party. She’d likely regret it after she got home.

  “Of course. I was wondering about her,” Avery said, shifting the baby to her shoulder. “And we’re so happy you’re here with us, Ruby. Can’t imagine the Walker Mountain Ranch without you.”

  She received the words like a gift, tearing up at her friend’s sincerity as she snuck away from the party. Instead of going through the patio doors, she followed the path to the kitchen door. She should grab more napkins, anyway. She tended to make her brownies and cookies extra gooey.

  A smile dawned as she tromped up the steps to her favorite room, the place she’d found herself. A place that had become so much a part of her. She opened the door and stopped cold.

  Brooklyn stood near the island, a diamond bracelet dangling from her fisted hand.

  The warmth and happiness turned into a cold weight on her heart. “Brookie,” she whispered.

  The girl’s face crumpled with a sob. “I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I’m so, so sorry.” She set the bracelet on the countertop, hid her face in her hands, and cried.

  Brooklyn. Ruby stood there blinking. How could it be Brooklyn when she was sure it had been Javon? Good god, the girl was only eight years old.

  Those heart-wrenching gasps chipped away the shock and suddenly she was moving, running to the girl and wrapping her arms around her. “Okay. It’s okay.”

  “No it’s not.” Brooklyn sniffled. “It’s not. I took the money, too.” She dug a wad of bills out of her pocket and threw it on the counter. “It was me. I stole from Bryce and Avery.”

  Her heart was sinking deeper and deeper into the girl’s despair. “Sweetie.” She pressed a kiss into that wonderful curly hair. “You made a mistake. That’s all.”

  “I’m so bad,” Brooklyn cried. “No wonder no one wants me.”

  Ruby tightened her throat so she wouldn’t sob, too. She remembered that same lie rearing its ugly head in her life. She remembered how it’d fueled her to make it true. For so long she’d believed it. She’d seen herself as unworthy. It was only recently that she’d begun to see the truth.

  “You’re not bad, Brooklyn,” she said firmly. “And it’s not true that nobody wants you. I want you.” Holding the girl at an arm’s length, she looked her straight into her eyes. “I would make you my daughter, if I could.” If she’d straightened out all her lies—if she’d had the courage to use her real na
me…

  “You would?” The girl’s sobs eased into hiccups. “You would adopt me?”

  “If I could,” she repeated. “Nothing in the world would make me happier.” Nothing. The truth of it filled her with a sudden urgency. Maybe she could. Maybe she could straighten out her life and become a foster mom. Then she could legally adopt her…

  “Everything okay in here?” Sawyer stood in the open doorway as though he was unsure if he should come in.

  Ruby gazed at him and her eyes must’ve screamed for help because he rushed over. “What is it? What’s wrong, Brookie?” he asked, kneeling in front of her.

  The sobs started again, nearly choking the poor girl.

  Sawyer peered up at Ruby, fear making his face look pale.

  “She took the money,” Ruby said quietly. “And the bracelet. She was putting them back when I came in.”

  A sigh punched out of his mouth and his shoulders sagged with the same sadness that weighted her. He rested his hand on the girl’s back. “Everything’ll be all right,” he murmured, and his gentleness seemed to calm her. “I promise you, Brookie. It will be all right.”

  “I’m so bad,” she whimpered again, latching her arms on to him, as if she was convinced he had the power to rescue her.

  “No.” Sawyer held her tight. “You made a bad choice, but you were giving everything back,” he reminded her gently. “You were doing the right thing, Brooklyn. A bad person doesn’t do the right thing.”

  She pulled away, gasping and hiccupping again. “I only took it so I could go find my mom. I wanted to run away. Because maybe she would want me now.”

  Sadness clawed its way up Ruby’s throat. She knew that desperation, that intrinsic need to be accepted by the one person who is supposed to love you the most…

  “You can’t run away, Brookie,” Sawyer said in the same voice that disarmed Ruby. “You can’t because there are so many people who love you.”