Mania and the Executioner

by A. L. Bridges

  He responds by pulling a 9mm pistol and firing two rounds at my chest. I barely dodge them, flash forward, and snap the guy’s forearm like a twig. The man hits the ground screaming as I grab his gun, eject the magazine, un-chamber the round into my hand, and drop the gun next to him while slipping the magazine and spare round into my pocket.

  “Didn’t you know that guns get people hurt?” I rhetorically ask under his screams.

  “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?” some old lady screams.

  “GUARDS! ARREST HIM!” she screams while pointing at me. Four guards rush in and I respond by rolling my eyes, and putting my hand on the shoulder of the young boy. I’m about to touch the triskele when I realize that it would let everyone know that I can port, which wouldn’t be the smartest idea. Man, why didn’t I research smoke bombs earlier when I was researching other bombs?

  Luckily, three of the guards recognize who I am and stop coming forward; the fourth guard picks up on the unusual behavior and stops as well.

  “WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING!?” the shrill lady shrieks.

  “Uh, ma’am…he’s the one that fought in The Cage a few hours ago…” One of the guards explains.

  “SO WHAT!? HE ATTACKED MY SON!” she shrieks.

  “In other words, I took out six times their number when I was completely unarmed, unlike I am now. And if I had attacked your son, he’d be dead. He shot at me with the 9mm that is on the ground and I snapped his arm in response which I think is more than merciful.” I inform her.

  “I have no idea where I am so can you lead me back to Natasha’s room?” I ask the little boy.

  He nods and I follow him out of the room, past the shrill lady that is staring daggers into my hide. Is it just me, or do I smell an assassination plot from that family? Ten minutes later, we arrive at Natasha’s room.

  “Hey Cole! I see you’ve met Chris.” Natasha points out when we walk in.

  “When did you get back?” Cheza inquires.

  “About forty-five minutes ago, before I made an enemy out of the head family, got shot at for the second time today, and broke a man’s arm.” I recap.

  “Chris, was Nicolai bullying you again?” Natasha asks with concern.

  “Yeah, but Cole made Nicolai pee his pants so I think he may leave me alone for a while.” Chris explains.

  “And let me guess; Nicolai responded by getting Alex to confront Cole, who undoubtedly said something snarky, causing my other asshole cousin to try and shoot Cole, which ended with Cole snapping his arm like a twig.” Natasha summarizes.

  “Am I really that predictable?” I ask.

  “Towards asshole bullies? Yeah, you kind of are.” Cheza replies.

  “Oh…wait, so Chris is your little brother?” I ask Natasha.

  “Yeah; adoption isn’t uncommon in Inuit or snow elf society and Pinga adopted him as a baby when I was thirteen.” Natasha explains.

  “QUICK, CHRIS HOW OLD ARE YOU!?” I shout.

  “DON’T ANSWER THAT!” Natasha shouts over Chris as he says “Nine.”

  “WOOHOO! I FINALLY FOUND OUT NATASHA’S AGE!” I shout as Airi displays an image of the fireworks that go off at the end of a solitaire game. I think it’s her way of saying ‘woop-de-freakin-doo’.

  “Wait, so you’ve only been with the Agency for about a year?” I ask.

  “Two years; I was recruited during my junior year of college.” Natasha informs me.

  “So are you okay with marrying an older woman? Considering all of interests are younger…or in one case, much younger…” Natasha says while looking away from me with a sly grin.

  “Oh speaking of which, here.” I say as I reach into my pocket, ignoring the part she muttered. I walk over to Natasha, take her left hand, and slip the ring onto it.

  “Cole! This ring is so pretty; thank you!” Natasha says as she hugs me. “So you are okay with getting married?”

  “Well, I’d be lying if I said I was perfectly okay with being married to both you and Cheza, but since it’s only for snow elf society, I’ll just think of it as something like insurance fraud!” I explain.

  “Well it’s a bit more serious than insurance fraud seeing as you will be next in line to be chief, instead of my stupid nephews.” Pinga says after walking in the room. “Speaking of which, you should probably prepare yourself for the piece of shit that is coming through that door in three, two, one.”

  “THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I’M GOING TO ALLOW THAT LITTLE PRICK TO BE CHIEF!” Jorgen screams while barging into the room.

  “Well then you shouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place!” Pinga says.

  “HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW—” Jorgen starts.

  “Awww, is somebwody thwowin a tantwum because things didn’t go accowding to pwan?” Pinga interrupts in ‘baby-talk’. Jorgen looks like he’s about to have a stroke or pop a blood vessel.

  “Well too damn bad! I approve of him far more than that piece of shit that tried to fire on the crowd before Cole stepped in front of the bullets! And he’ll make a much better chief than those two little bastards that your bitch of a sister calls her sons!” Pinga finishes.

  “We’ll see about that…” Jorgen says under his breath as he storms out of the room.

  “Well I’m off to bed, as should you Chezarei; you have training tomorrow. Come, Chris!” Pinga says and leaves the room with Chris in tow.

  “She’s right Cheza; we should head back. Are you coming with us Natasha?” I ask.

  “It might actually be a good idea for you two to sleep here. Jorgen has enough power to order a hit on you two, but he wouldn’t dare try it if you two were staying with me.” Natasha suggests.

  I respond by touching my triskele and porting to the hotel. I grab Cheza’s bag and my own, before porting back to Natasha’s room.

  “Bathroom is right there I take it?” I ask while motioning towards the door on the left side of the room and then I take out my toiletry bag.

  “Yeah, it is.” Natasha confirms.

  I enter the gigantic bathroom that includes two sinks, a walk-in shower, and a large bathtub, and I brush my teeth. I strip down, change into boxers that haven’t been covered in blood today, and get into the left side of the California King sized bed. Both the girls use the bathroom and climb into bed next to me. Natasha turns out her bedside light and I fall asleep a few minutes later.

  …

  Chapter 35: Fox-Girls, Explosives, and Poison; Oh My!

  I wake up in the middle of the night to the feeling of a hand gently petting my groin and a nose being rubbed against mine.

  “Cheza, we can’t tonight, you have training in the morning and you need some sleep.” I tell her and then she licks the side of my face.

  “No really Cheza, you need to get some sleep.” I insist as she continues licking my face.

  “Stop licking my face and stroking my crotch and go to bed!” I say sternly as she starts rubbing her nose against mine again.

  “Cheza, why is your nose so cold?” I ask as I open my eyes and see an adorable white face…an adorable, white, furry face.

  “AHHHHHH!” I scream, causing both girls to freak out as I flip my bedside light on. I see a full-grown Arctic fox is what has been licking my face and its tail is what has been stroking my crotch.

  “COLE!? WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!?…oh, did I forget to mention Kita?” Natasha asks.

  “YES YOU FORGOT TO MENTION IT!” I shout. The fox recoils back and narrows its deep blue eyes.

  “Forgot to mention her?” I correct. Kita licks my face in the affirmative, I think.

  “Well, this is Kita. Kita, this is Cole and Chezarei.” Natasha introduces us.

  “Where did Kita come from?” I ask.

  “There’s a small tunnel in my closet that leads to a small fox hole, which leads to the surface. Now let’s go back to sleep; just push Kita off of the bed if she is bothering you, Cole.” Natasha says as she turns over.

  I pick Kita up and then she gives me this begging look
that I can’t say no to. I set Kita back down next to me and I lay my head down. Kita snuggles into my side and falls asleep.

  ****

  I wake up to a tongue in my mouth. I open my eyes and see a pair of deep blue, almond-shaped eyes staring back at me. I’m still in Natasha’s bed, but the room has disappeared, as have Natasha and Cheza; it’s just the bed floating in a dark space with this girl.

  “This has to be a dream,” I think as the girl breaks away from our kiss. The girl that has been kissing me is a beautiful Inuit girl with long black hair, but something isn’t quite right about her. The girl mounts me and starts riding me when I realize what’s off: this girl has white ears sticking up out of her head and a long, white, bushy tail.

  The girl rides me until we both finish, at which point she collapses on top of me.

  “You remind me of Kiviuq.” The girl whispers in my ear.

  ****

  [June 4th]

  I awaken to a small furry face licking my cheek and an otherwise empty bed. I’m guessing that this furry face is what influenced my dream last night, but what was it that the girl had said at the end? Something about Kiviuq…the Inuit folk hero?

  “Good morning Kita, did you sleep well?” I ask.

  Kita nods in response; damn this fox is smart! I get out of bed and use the bathroom. I open up the shower door, step inside, and I’m about to turn the shower on when I hear scratching at the glass door.

  “Oh so you want to take a shower with me, do you?” I ask. Kita paws the glass once. I open the glass door and Kita slinks inside. I turn the shower on and get it to a luke-warm temperature before I spray Kita with it. She scrunches up her face at first, but quickly relaxes.

  “I’ve never bathed a fox before…do I use shampoo and conditioner on your coat?” I ask, not really expecting an answer, but Kita nods in response. I take the shampoo bottle, squirt some into my hand, and show it to her for confirmation. Kita nods again so I lather her coat and rinse her off. I get confirmation on the conditioner and repeat. If I were anyone else, I’d probably find that getting instruction on bathing a fox from said fox is a little bizarre; however, I am not anyone else, so I don’t find this situation to be all that bizarre compared to the rest of my fucked up existence.

  I finish my necessary shower procedure and step out to towel off. I grab another towel for Kita, but she shakes her head. I grab the hairdryer from the long sink countertop and show it to her; Kita nods and I turn the dryer on. After Kita is dry, I get dressed and fully armed, and then Natasha walks in with a platter of food.

  “Hey! I was hoping you would be awake. I brought breakfast!” Natasha says.

  “Thanks!” I say while grabbing a cheese Danish from the platter. “So what’s the plan for today?”

  “I’m not too sure, but it probably isn’t the best idea to stay around here because Jorgen is probably gunning for you.” Natasha says.

  “Hmm…want to come with me to test out some explosives?” I ask.

  “HELL YEAH!” Natasha shouts.

  “Great…do you know…a spot…that would be…good for that?” I ask while eating my Danish.

  “Anywhere in the center of Greenland should work nicely. The ice is thicker there so you shouldn’t have to worry about the ice cracking or anything like that.” Natasha suggests.

  “Sounds perfect! I’ll just look up a picture and then we can get going. Oh, and bring the food with us.” I say as I pull out my phone.

  “Alright let’s get going! Bye Kita, we will be back later.” I say.

  Kita gives me this sad look, then nods and trudges over to the bed where she curls into a ball. I port us to the picture and see tundra stretched out before us in all directions. I open my ring and slice into my left palm. I take out one of my Diamond swords to grind a small hole into the ice. Once finished, I transmute the colorless crystal explosive that is used in C-4 called RDX by using the same components of my blood that I used to make the nitroglycerine. I wedge the crystal into the hole and drip some of my blood onto the crystal. I look back and see that Natasha is about fifteen feet away. I take a few steps back and then I transmute my blood into nitrogen triiodide.

  ‘I probably should have taken a few more steps back,’ I think as I lay on my back with my ears ringing while I see a puff of red smoke rising from the hole. That puff of smoke gives me an awesome idea for a smoke bomb. I see Natasha standing over me and saying something, but I cannot hear her.

  (That is because you have two perforated eardrums)

  “Airi says I have two perforated eardrums.” I say…or possibly shout. Natasha says something.

  “Slow down! If you speak slowly I may be able to read your lips!” I say/shout.

  (She is saying ‘we need to get you to Pinga’)

  “Airi, how much time until my eardrums are healed?”

  (Three hours in the current situation; ears are difficult to heal. Requesting the assistance of the goddess is not a bad idea)

  “Alright, I’m porting us back to your room!” I say/shout.

  Natasha grabs my hand and I port us to her room. Kita perks up the second we come back and looks at me like she’s concerned. Natasha drags me out of her room and Kita follows us. I get dragged down a series of corridors and into a large ice chamber where Pinga and Cheza are making things out of the ice. Cheza sees me and starts talking in a very animated fashion while looking quite excited before her expression changes to one of concern. I assume Natasha explained the situation because Pinga walks over and places both of her hands over my ears. Pinga’s hands are cold until they suddenly start radiating warmth, my vision blurs, and the ringing in my ears intensifies as my hearing returns.

  “Are you back with us Cole?” Pinga asks.

  “Yeah, my hearing is as good as new. Thanks!” I say.

  “Good, so what have we learned?” Pinga inquires.

  “Don’t detonate the chemical they use to make C-4 when you are only two feet from it?” I ask.

  “Good boy, no more explosives for today.” Pinga replies.

  “Hey Cole! Using my powers is so much easier here! Look what I can do!” Cheza exclaims as she touches the ground and pulls out a three foot long icicle. “I’m an icebender!” 18

  “Haha! That’s pretty awesome Cheza!” I tell her.

  “It’s actually somewhat amazing that her abilities were able to manifest at all in places as warm as Hawaii and Arizona. She shouldn’t have much of a problem learning to control her powers here.” Pinga says.

  “That’s great Cheza! Well, since I won’t be playing with anymore explosives today, why don’t you show me around Natasha?” I suggest.

  “Alright; we’ll see you guys later!” Natasha says and leads me out of the large chamber.

  Kita scampers up my back and lies across my shoulders. Natasha shows me around the gigantic underground snow elf compound.

  “Wait, so this entire place was built by snow elves with power like Cheza?” I ask.

  “Yeah, any pure blood snow elf has at least some control over snow and ice. Those that are half Inuit, half snow elf have about a fifty percent chance at developing abilities. Those that are like me…well, Chezarei is the only one I know of that has developed abilities.” Natasha explains, sounding a little downtrodden.

  “Natasha, I could help you with that. If I were to give you some of my blood, it might be able unlock your latent ability.” I suggest.

  “Thanks, but no thanks Cole. I’d rather not be connected to you like that. Even though Chezarei was fine with sharing you for the wedding and for sex, I doubt she would approve of sharing you that intimately.” Natasha says.

  “I hadn’t even thought about that…she would probably be pretty pissed.” I reply.

  I nearly fall over when ice suddenly wraps around my feet and shins. Two elves drop from the ceiling and grab both my arms while Kita jumps from my shoulders and runs off.

  “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?” Natasha screams.

  “I’m get
ting my revenge for last night!” Alex says while stepping out from an alcove; I notice that his arm is in a sling.

  “STOP BEING SUCH AN ASSHOLE!” Natasha shouts.

  “SHUT UP YOU STUPID HALFBREED BITCH!” Alex screams as he backhands Natasha to the ground; now I’m angry.

  “You may have caught me off guard last night, but not today!” Alex says.

  Using his unbroken arm, Alex unzips my jacket. I could easily break the hold of the two guys holding me, but I'm curious to see what he does. Alex doesn't seem to be armed so at least I don't have to worry about getting shot. He puts his hand on my chest and I immediately feel my skin cooling down through my t-shirt.

  "What are you doing!? Ahhhh!" I shout in mock panic that is so poorly done that I don't even believe it. His burn feels like an ice cube compared to what Cheza can do. A smug smile starts across Alex's face as I continue my mock screaming. I'm just waiting until the burn cracks my skin open to give him a surprise.

  (Objective met)

  "Ahhh—hahaha! Is that really the best you've got? Now it's my turn." I say with a smile.

  “What the hell is this supposed to be?” Alex asks as he looks at the small sphere in his hand that happens to be made of RDX that contains my blood inside of it.

  My helmet wraps around my head and I transmute my blood into nitrogen triiodide while snapping my fingers for effect. The ball explodes in a large puff of red smoke and Alex starts screaming. The distraction is enough for me to break from the grasps of the two elves holding me, cut my way out of the ice, scoop Natasha up, and port us to where Cheza and Pinga are.

  “Cole! Are you alright?” Cheza asks concerned.

  “That was totally awesome Cole!” Natasha exclaims as I set her down.

  “Thanks, I got the idea when I saw the giant puff of smoke that the nitrogen triiodide made earlier and I was thinking last night how it would be useful to have smoke bombs. Yes, I’m fine Cheza and sorry about disobeying your ‘no more explosives’ order, Pinga.” I say.

  “What happened?” Pinga asks as she walks over to Natasha and puts her hands over Natasha’s bleeding lip and swollen cheek.