“I should be back soon enough,” he said, but she doubted it could be soon enough for her. He feared something here for her and she wondered what it could be.
Two women and a man appeared through a door at the end of the hall. One of the women was tall and beautiful. Her clothes were richer than anything Alais could remember seeing. She had eyes only for Hugh and Alais was sure that she was his wife. It seemed right that his wife should be so beautiful, but Alais was not sure about the pride she saw in the way the woman held herself. Surely that would not sit easily with Hugh.
The second woman had such fair hair that she could only be Hugh’s sister. She, too, was richly dressed, but she was far from beautiful. Her skin had a sickly pallor that indicated to Alais that she could not be long in this world. She was very heavy with child and walked stiffly, as if in some pain.
It was the man, however, who seized her attention. He was tall and fair, like Hugh, but in all other respects he looked like Edmund and was by far the most handsome man she had ever seen. Hugh was already taking her forward and introducing them to her, before she realised that she had been staring at the newcomer. She struggled to hide her confusion.
“Lady Alais, my sister Marguerite,” this was the fair woman, “and my brother, Stephen.” Stephen stopped smiling.
“Lady Alais, welcome.” He did not bow, a calculated insult, given that she was both his father’s wife and from an older aristocratic line than his own. He made no apology for his father’s absence and did not offer her the hospitality of the house. “Handsome is as handsome does.” She had heard her mother say it so often and she had never really thought about what it meant, but now she knew. Stephen certainly had the outward appearance of beauty, but inside he was ugly. She knew she could never like nor trust him, despite his beauty. She looked at Hugh and saw the anger on his face, just as the other woman hugged him. He looked uncomfortable as he pushed her away. Not his wife, then. That was interesting.
“Lady Alais, I should like to introduce Lady Katherine de Grenville.” Hugh was gracious, but Alais could see that Lady Katherine was far from being a favourite with him, even though her welcome had indicated that she thought she should be. There was something going on here that she would need to understand before Hugh left. There was so much that she needed to know now that she was going to be alone.
Alais curtsied, Lady Katherine did not.
Lady Katherine put her hand on Hugh’s elbow and began to walk away, turning her back on Alais. “My lord, I have much to tell you.”
“It will have to wait,” Hugh shrugged her hand off impatiently. “I have to leave in the morning and I would ensure Lady Alais’ comfort before I go.”
Lady Katherine shot Alais a look of hatred that was hidden from Hugh, then turned and smiled sweetly into his face. “As you wish, my lord.” Alais had already made an enemy at Liss without saying a word.
Some servants appeared with food. Hugh took Alais’ arm. “Come and sit, my lady. We will eat first. It will take some time for the servants to prepare your bath.”
Alais smiled her gratitude. “Thank you, my lord. That is an unexpected kindness.” She felt his kindness particularly in the light of the lack of it on the part of his brother and sister. In the short time that she had known Hugh, it was his kindness that had made the biggest impression on her.
Hugh led her to the top table and they sat down, he in the lord’s chair and she at his right hand. Edmund had already disappeared with his family. Lady Katherine sat the other side of Hugh, constantly trying to start up a conversation with him. Hugh resisted, but did not talk to Alais, either. He did not seem to have much of an appetite, but he made sure that Alais ate and drank her fill. Alais was surprised that the quality of the food was not better. It did not begin to compare with what she had been given at Hill and she began to wonder what kind of household this was and whether she would be able to improve it. Had she been misled about her husband’s wealth? His main house seemed very mean and poor. Leigh was a much cleaner and more cheerful place, even Hugh’s small manor had given her better hospitality.
It seemed unlikely to her that its lord, her husband, did not run it exactly as he would wish. Therefore, it must follow that he liked his hall dark, dingy and cold; his food poor and bland and his small beer undrinkable. Alais did not miss the small humiliation that they were not been given wine, but since Hugh did not make a fuss, she assumed that small beer was the normal accompaniment to a meal here. Even at Leigh, noble visitors were given wine. She concluded, however, that they were further from the coast at Liss and perhaps it was difficult to obtain good wine.
When they had finished eating, Hugh addressed his brother, who was still standing by the door through which he had entered.
“Which room has my father given to Lady Alais?”
Stephen affected a look of surprise. “None, that I am aware of.”
“None!” Hugh exploded from his seat. “He offers her no accommodation of her own?”
“Lady Katherine has our late mother’s room. The only other space available is with Elizabeth and Agnes.”
“This is intolerable,” spat Hugh and, privately, Alais agreed with him. Even in a house as small as Leigh, her parents had kept separate bedchambers. Was her husband to call her from her bedfellows when he wanted her or was she to share his bed every night? This struck her as a very strange household, where every action was an insult to her, the wife of its lord.
Hugh turned to her. “My lady, I will resolve this matter when I am with my father.” He lowered his voice so that only she could hear, “I would give you my room, but…”
“Thank you, my lord. I know that you cannot.” It was one thing for Alais to sleep in Hugh’s room in his own house with only Edmund and his own servants to know, but in his father’s house it was a different matter.
“I will show you where Elizabeth and Agnes sleep and make sure that you have all that you need.”
“You are very kind, my lord.” She made sure that her eyes told him how grateful she was and was rewarded with a small smile. Alais smiled back. His brother might be the most handsome man she had ever seen, but she knew that a smile from him would not lift her heart in the same way that Hugh’s did.
As she followed him out of the room, she asked him the question that had been on her mind since she first saw Stephen. “My lord, your brother and Edmund?”
“Yes?” He stopped in the passageway and turned to face her. His face had regained its former openness.
“They are very alike.” She was hesitant to step onto such dangerous ground, but she must know the answer, however much pain it might give her or Hugh.
“That is because they…we… are half-brothers,” he replied, his expression grim. “Edmund is Edmund FitzWilliam, the only one of my father’s many bastards to be acknowledged by him.”
Alais was even more confused. It seemed even more unlikely that Hugh and Edmund should be so close when one was the illegitimate half-brother of the other. She was surprised that she was not more shocked that there were many children resulting from her husband’s infidelities, but it was the relationship between the half brothers that intrigued her.
“Yet he is your close friend,” she finally managed to say.
Hugh smiled as if relieved that she chose not to dwell on her husband’s infidelities and had spoken of something that was any easy subject for him. “Yes, he is. We are of a like age and similar in temperament.” Alais smiled, they were certainly both silent, uncommunicative men. “We grew close as children, before I knew what he was. He and his mother, Hilda, lived here, in the house. Once I knew, I helped him to force my father to acknowledge him. We have shared many adventures. I owe him my life many times over.”
He started to walk again.
Alais did not move, “And Lady Katherine?” Her voice was slightly louder than she had intended and she was a little afraid of what his answer might be. She did not understand why she was afraid, but she was.
Hugh st
opped. He kept his back to her. “My father hopes I will marry her.” He said it so quietly that she could barely hear.
“Are you not already married? I thought Hill came to you through your wife.” She knew that she spoke nonsense. The answer was obvious. It was just that she had not considered it before.
“My wife is dead,” explained Hugh, turning back to her, his face as impassive as she had ever seen it. She was surprised and a little insulted, that he felt the need to hide his thoughts from her. “We were betrothed as children and she came to Liss when we were both thirteen and the marriage was consummated a year later when I was of age. If you could call it a consummation. It was a very unhappy time. When we were betrothed her father was a wealthy landowner, but by the time she came to Liss there was only one property left and that was Hill. He got into debt and lost everything. My father did everything he could to break the betrothal, but he could not and I would not. And Margaret was always sickly. She was ill most of the time we were married. She died shortly after I came back from fighting in the north.” He spoke quickly, as if he wanted to unburden himself and then move on to something else.
“I am sorry,” said Alais, simply.
“There was no love there,” explained Hugh, finally turning back and looking at her. He seemed eager for her to understand, although the memory was painful to him. “I was not a good husband and she was not a good wife. I could not get a child on her and she was never well enough to travel after she came here, so I could not take her back to Hill where she might have been happier.”
Alais almost smiled at the thought. Hugh had not loved his wife, yet he had wanted to do the best he could for her.
“And after she died, were you not married again?” Alais could not keep the question to herself. She could not contemplate how terrible it would have been for Hugh to have lost two wives.
He shook his head and she thought he was relieved. “No, I would not take any of the heiresses that were offered to me. I was a second son, so it did not matter until it became obvious that Geoffrey’s wife would bear him no children. And then when he died, I had to accept that I must marry again.” He looked into her eyes and, once again, she caught that strange mix of emotions that she had seen when they first met. The desire and pity she was now used to seeing, although she had begun to suspect that he did not know himself what his eyes showed to her. What was new was the lifelessness that made her gasp with fear for him. He raised an eyebrow as if in question, but she ignored him and continued her query.
“So you are betrothed?”
“Not yet. But I have suddenly become very eligible and many fathers send their daughters here in the hope of marrying them off to me. Lady Katherine is heiress to some large estates that neighbour those of my father in Essex. My father believes that she would be most suitable.” Now the desire and the pity were gone, replaced by the dullness that had frightened her before. This was a different side to Hugh, one that scared her. She reached out and touched him. Despite herself, she wanted to reassure him that there was someone besides Edmund who cared whether he lived or died.
“And is there no one at all that you would like to marry?”
“None,” said Hugh, “but my father grows impatient and soon I must choose.”
“I am sorry,” said Alais. “A second marriage should be for love.” But she could see that for Hugh there could be no love, had never been any love in the marriage bed, nor, perhaps, anywhere else.
Hugh laughed, but there was no humour in it. “There is no place for love at all when you own or will inherit as many great estates as I.”
“Would you wish to marry for love?”
“I would wish not to marry at all. I have yet to see any married couple who were happy together.” She was overwhelmed by a desire to prove him wrong, to give him hope, but how could she give him hope when that love must be found with a woman other than her? She realised that she was trapped, wanting him to understand that love was possible in a marriage, but not wanting him to love anyone but her. This was worse than knowing that she desired him. She should love her husband, not his son. Everything she was learning about her husband inclined her to lose respect for him and everything she learned about Hugh made her love him more. She looked around the passage, as if seeking a way out, but there was none. She was betrothed to Sir William de Liss and whatever she might feel for his son could make no difference. In a few days they would make their marriage vows. Then the marriage would be consummated. There was nothing else to be done; she could no more follow her heart than Hugh could follow his desire.
“My parents were happy,” she said, at last. “They did not marry for love, but they came to love one another and their children.”
“How did they come to love one another?” Hugh moved closer to her until they were almost touching. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek. She closed her eyes, as if to remember, but it was because she wished to avoid the renewed desire in his eyes. No, she thought, he does not know what he feels.
“I do not know” She swallowed. “It was before I was born, but I know that they did love one another. They each had their own realm and did not interfere with one another. They talked and gave advice to each other, but my father ruled in his realm and my mother in hers and there was no bitterness between them if one did not take the advice of the other, although, of course, they often did.”
“They trusted one another?” She heard the wonder in his voice and opened her eyes. Alais tried to look stern. Would he not trust her if they were married?
“Yes, there was great trust between them. My father knew that when he was away, and my mother controlled his realm, that she would obey the instructions that he left. He never feared to leave home and always rushed to come back.”
“And your mother was not frightened of him?”
“No, my lord.”
“My mother was very frightened of my father,” explained Hugh, but Alais had already guessed that that was the reason for his question.
“Not many marriages are happy,” she reminded him.
“Do you expect to be happy?” His eyes bored into her as if this was the most important question he had ever asked. It surprised her, but she knew what her answer must be.
“No. I expect to be a good wife. I do not expect to love my husband, or to be loved by him.”
“Then I do not think you will be disappointed.” Hugh spoke bitterly, but Alais had spoken nothing less than the truth. She and her mother had spent many hours discussing the kind of marriage that she would have and they had concluded that there was little chance that Alais would find love with her husband. Alais did not consider herself a child, so she did not expect to be loved wherever she went, but she knew that she had been loved at Leigh and that she would not be loved at Liss. Hugh’s words and actions over the last few days had already told her much that she needed to know about her future at Liss. She had long since concluded that she would look for a long time to find love in her husband. On the day of their betrothal they had exchanged rings and a kiss and then he had mounted his horse and returned to his estates alone. Their first meeting had been a humiliation. The four years that he had left her alone since with no enquiries about her well-being, no gifts and no messages were an even greater humiliation. She had not been in the least surprised that it had taken her brother’s death to remind him that he had a wife. Her sudden position as heiress to a large, well-run and prosperous estate was certainly the reason for the sudden necessity on his part of making the marriage a reality.
Hugh had already returned to their quest to find her sleeping chamber. She sighed quietly and followed him, wishing that she followed him to their shared bedchamber rather than a cold, damp room that she would share with two unknown women.
Alais had been correct in her assessment of the bedchamber, except that it was also small. Surprisingly small, given the size of the house. Nothing here was as she had expected. Where she had thought to see riches and wealth and comfort, she saw dirt and mean
ness. Where she had expected good manners, she found rudeness. Where she had expected respect, well, she did not yet know what she had found in the place of respect. Hugh grimaced and anger passed across his face as they looked in through the open door. Since he had known which room he was to take her to, he must have been in here before. Perhaps he had not looked at it properly or he did not care enough about Elizabeth and Agnes to be angry about their accommodation, but he was angry for her.
She was about to speak when she realised that the room was occupied.
“Hugh, I did not know that you had returned.” The woman who turned a pretty, round face to them was short and plump and smiling.
“Agnes.” Hugh’s smile showed his pleasure at seeing the young woman again. He turned to Alais. “Lady Alais, this is Agnes, Joan’s sister.”
Agnes curtsied and Alais smiled at her, pleased to have another apparent ally in this unfriendly place and because Agnes was so cheerful that it was difficult not to smile in her presence. “You are very welcome here, my lady,” she said.
“Lady Alais is to share with you and Elizabeth,” said Hugh, “until I can see my father and make some other arrangement for her.”
Agnes looked surprised.
“I am sorry for that, my lady. You should be in your own chamber. I am afraid that the bed is small for three.”
Both women glanced at the bed. Unlike everything else she had seen at Liss, it was not in need of cleaning. The room itself was also neat and clean. It seemed that these two women, at least, took care of their surroundings and had not given in to the general air of decay that pervaded Liss.
Agnes was looking at her, expectantly, “I am sure we will manage,” Alais offered, trying to make the best of the situation. She smiled: Agnes deserved to know that she appreciated her efforts and the cleanliness of what was to be her room. She resolved to make a friend of Agnes, who was neat and clean in her own person, as well as in what she had done in the room, which inclined Alais to like her. It was, of course, possible that the cleanliness was Elizabeth’s doing, but Alais thought that both of them had probably contributed to this little sanctuary of cleanliness in what she was already beginning to think of as a house of squalor. She knew that her reaction was extreme, but she had been taught to be a good housekeeper as a preparation for being a good wife and it disturbed her more than anything else that she had learned about her husband to find that he could live happily in such surroundings. It was entirely possible that he was not here very much, but it spoke badly of his care for his retainers and his family.
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