“Would you like me to wait and take you to the solar? Lady Katherine likes us to sit with her and spin and sew in the afternoon.”
“I do not think Lady Alais need be at Lady Katherine’s beck and call,” said Hugh, indignantly. “She is the lady here, not Lady Katherine.”
Alais, however, thought it interesting that Agnes and, presumably Lady Katherine, had seen the situation rather differently. It was not a position that someone like Lady Katherine would take without being sure that it would be welcomed by the lord of the manor.
“It is well, my lord, that Lady Katherine keeps the ladies busy,” she said. It was not good that Hugh should show his true thoughts to someone as lowly as Agnes.
“She is not lady here,” he repeated, more quietly.
“Perhaps you have unwittingly encouraged her in her belief that she will be,” said Alais in exasperation. She was surprised at her boldness and noticed that Agnes had blushed at her suggestion. Alais had to admit that she did not know Hugh that well, despite having been with him these last few days. He was not very communicative and what he had told her did not illuminate what his relationship with Lady Katherine might be. He could have been encouraging Lady Katherine for some motive of his own, or he could have looked at her with the same kind of desire that his eyes held when he looked at Alais. That was an unexpectedly painful thought and she did not pursue it. It was entirely possible that Lady Katherine had simply mistaken his kindness for approval of his father’s intentions, but he had been far from kind when she had embarrassed him in the hall just now and she did not think that Lady Katherine found much favour with him.
“No, my lady, I have neither said nor done anything to make her believe that I want her as my wife.” Hugh was quick to answer and it did not seem to her that he lied.
“Then, my lord, perhaps your father…?”
Anger burned coldly in Hugh’s eyes. “Oh yes, I am sure my father has encouraged her to believe that she will be mistress here after you.”
“Then I need not consider it too great a slight,” she said lightly and with a smile for Agnes’ benefit, her eyes still fixed on Hugh’s face. They both knew how much she had already been insulted. Hugh shook his head slightly, so that Agnes would not see. He knew better than she how this household worked and what were his father’s intentions.
“Agnes,” Alais turned and smiled at her, “there is no need to wait for me. Sir Hugh will help me to find what I need and guide me to where I need to be.”
She thought Agnes’ face darkened, but it must have been fancy on her part, for the young woman dropped a curtsy and left them alone in the bedchamber.
When they were alone again, Hugh moved closer to her so that they were almost touching and spoke quietly, “I apologise, my lady, but I fear that this is another calculated insult.”
“I wonder why he bothered to call me here at all if he did not wish me to be here.”
They both knew, nonetheless exactly why she was here at this time. Alais was aware that after four years of betrothal, Sir William had only become interested in finalising the marriage arrangements when she had become the heiress at Leigh, on her brother’s death at the beginning of the summer. He did not yet know that he was already lord of Leigh, or would be, as soon as their marriage was consummated, which event no longer seemed as near as it had this morning.
“And you, my lord, will you marry Lady Katherine?” She whispered the question. He lowered his head to her and she had only to tilt her head slightly and their lips would touch. She knew she must not give in to the temptation.
“Why not, my lady?” Hugh seemed to think her question perfectly reasonable. She half expected him to turn away and was preparing to turn him back so that he must answer her. To her amazement, he continued to look into her eyes. She felt the warmth of his breath on her lips and struggled to remember that he was talking about marrying another woman. “If not her, it would be someone else. She is healthy, intelligent and beautiful. She will bear healthy, good-looking children and will teach them well. I would rather the Liss estates were inherited by my son than my nephew.” Given what he had said earlier about marriage, his bitterness should not have surprised her, but it did.
“But there is no love there, my lord?” She no longer knew what answer she wanted. She would not wish Hugh trapped in another loveless marriage, but she could not bear the thought that Hugh might love someone else.
It was a long time before Hugh answered. “No, my lady, there is no love there. I do not care to love anymore.”
Alais stared at him, shocked by his answer. This was not what she had expected him to say. She knew that he spoke the truth and it cut into her heart.
“I am sorry. To live without love is not to live at all.”
His face was stricken and he whispered, “I know.”
Chapter Nine
Hugh could hardly bear to be alone with Alais now that she knew that he was no more than a corpse pretending to be a living, breathing man. He should have lied and pretended that he was passionate about Lady Katherine, save that even if Alais did not recognise the lie on his lips, she would have known him for a liar as the years passed and there was no warmth between him and Lady Katherine and he knew above all other things that he did not want Alais to think him base. He had not even known before he said it that he had accepted that he would marry Lady Katherine. He had been truthful about his reasons for choosing her. If he had to marry, it should be someone healthy this time. His wife should be intelligent and well-educated and able to run his manor house at Hill and this house after his father’s death. It did not escape his notice that these were all qualities that Alais possessed as well as beauty and compassion, but Alais was not his to desire; she was his father’s wife and could not be his, no matter how perfect she would have been.
Lady Katherine had been at Liss long enough for him to know her character. She was shallow and self-centred. Her clothes were more important to her than anything else. She esteemed no one more highly than herself. He acknowledged that her lineage was more ancient and noble than his own. Her family, like Alais’, had arrived in England from Normandy with William the Bastard. His own family had well-hidden Saxon roots and had married its daughters to the local Norman lords. Eventually his great-grandfather had been ennobled for his service to the king’s grandfather and had taken his name from the estate that a grateful king had also given him. His grandfather and father had built on that beginning until his father was the wealthiest man in this part of England.
And none of it was important to Hugh. He would marry Lady Katherine because she was there. If another heiress had been a guest at Liss, he would consider marrying her. It did not matter to him who he married, but he knew that he must marry. He thought bitterly that it was a perfect match, because there was no love on either side; not even liking on his. It seemed to him now that loving someone was a great weakness. He had loved his mother and Isabella, but still his father and brothers and sister had been able to hurt him through them. Now they were dead, his family had no power over him at all and he intended to keep it that way. They would certainly not be able to hurt him through Lady Katherine, although there was always the chance that he would learn to be affectionate towards his children, if there were children. His wife had not enjoyed his attentions in the bedchamber and he had no reason to suppose that Lady Katherine would feel any differently. He did not seem to have his father’s ability to make women want to bed with him. Alais moved away from him and he awoke from his reverie.
“Where would you have me take you?” he asked, when Alais had deposited her meagre possessions in the chest.
“I do not know. I should learn my way about the house, I suppose.”
He noted with approval that she had not chosen to go to the solar and suffer further humiliation at the hands of Lady Katherine. Her independent spirit would not be well-received at Liss, but she knew her own worth and her own place, although he doubted that his father would agree with her assessment of e
ither. He showed her the bedrooms, the kitchen, the dairy, the still-room and the bakery. This was her world. What had she called it? Her realm. The place where she should reign supreme. All the while they kept up an inconsequential chatter about how the house was run and who were the important servants. Then a servant found them and announced that her bath was ready. Hugh took his leave, promising to retrieve her when the evening meal was ready.
When he returned to her room, having furthered his preparations for his departure on the morrow, Alais was waiting for him. She was dressed in one of Isabella’s gowns. Hugh could not stop himself from remembering how happy his sister had been when he had returned from London with the bolt of velvet from which it was made. She and their mother had spent a lot of time thinking about how best to use the fabric and eventually made a number of garments. The one that Alais wore now had been one of her favourites. Although Alais was taller and her colouring was much darker, for a moment he thought he saw Isabella standing before him. He bowed deeply to cover his confusion and had recovered himself by the time he rose to look at her face. She had blushed a pretty pink at his obeisance. He realised that it was the first time that he had seen her dressed as befitted her station. The dress she had worn at Hill had been dirty and in need of mending after her flight through the burning streets and the clothes she had worn for the last three days were best forgotten. Now she looked like the lady she was in a fine gown with her hair coiled and neatly hidden under her headdress. The dress was tight on her; he had been incorrect about her size in comparison to Isabella and it served only to emphasise her feminine figure, in stark contrast to the shapeless clothes which had hung on her on their journey. He finally remembered why he had come.
“My lady, the meal is ready. If you would accompany me.”
He held out his arm and Alais placed her hand on his. She obviously had no idea how beautiful she was and had no knowledge of the effect she was having on him. There was no danger to either of them between tonight and his departure in the morning, but he was beginning to wonder how he could bear to return here and see her as his father’s wife. He did not know what he would do. He knew that he did not want to watch her die slowly as he had watched his mother die.
Hugh took his father’s chair at the head of the table and invited Alais to sit at his right hand. Since they were the first to arrive, he watched the reactions of his family as they took their own seats. Lady Katherine showed the most displeasure but seemed content to sit at his left hand. Stephen’s reaction surprised him the most. His brother looked at Alais and smiled. Hugh knew his brother well enough to know that the smile did not bode well for Alais and he was minded to tell her to be on her guard with him. Stephen was a skilled liar and it was best not to accept anything he did or said at face value. He was also very clever and extremely manipulative. Hugh had no idea what Stephen intended to do with his life. His wife had not brought him property or wealth. As the third son, their father had not thought it important to provide for him financially. He had been intended for the church and had spent many years at Oxford. Last year, however, he had asked his father’s permission to marry. The permission had been granted and he had brought Catherine back to Liss, where their daughter, Philippa, had been born in the spring. Hugh knew that his father was tiring of Stephen’s presence and dependence. It would not be long before he would be asked to leave and make his own way. Unlike Hugh, he was no soldier, and Hugh had no idea where he would go or what he would do now that he had shut the door on the church. The only thing to which he was suited was intrigue, but Hugh could not see him gaining a place at court. Catherine was pleasant enough, but Hugh did not understand why his brother had given up what would have been a good career in the church for her. She was not particularly beautiful or clever and her dowry had been small. She had brought him no property at all. The one thing Hugh did understand about his brother was that he liked to live comfortably and he understood that Catherine was not going to bring her husband the wealth to bring that about. The only thing he did not consider was that his brother had fallen completely and utterly in love with his wife.
Marguerite’s husband, Richard, did not bother to hide his displeasure at Alais’ arrival. Until Philippa had been born it had looked as if all the de Liss inheritance must eventually pass to his own son, since none of Sir William’s sons had managed to produce an heir. Now Sir William was marrying again and could easily produce more heirs. Hugh did not find it easy to understand the greed of an already wealthy man, but he knew that Richard coveted ever more land and more money.
Hugh had a smile for Agnes as she took her seat with Joan and Edmund. With her came Elizabeth, his oldest brother’s widow. She greeted him with a kiss and was introduced to Alais. She took her place with Agnes and Joan. Hugh was displeased that his father had chosen to humiliate his daughter-in-law for her failure to bear Geoffrey sons by seating her away from the family. Elizabeth, however, had accepted her demotion from the family serenely. Hugh thought that she was happier since his brother’s death. She had endured years of misery at the hands of his father because of her inability to conceive. Now she was still only twenty-two and if she had not been barren, it would have been relatively easy for her to find another husband. Although not beautiful, she was comely enough in appearance and she worked hard. Hugh did not know what to do for the best for her. He had hoped that she would enter a convent, or return to her family, but she seemed content to continue at Liss. He did not know why, since his father berated her constantly for having failed to provide him with grandsons. It seemed to have little effect on her. She was heiress to substantial estates in her own right, but no man would be interested in her if she could not bear him sons.
Once everyone was assembled the meal began. Hugh wondered, as he often did, why his father kept such poor cooks. No wonder the people in the hall looked poor and thin, the food was not such that would give them much appetite to eat it. Everyone here was well-dressed; Sir William set great store by how his people were dressed, but he was not quite as interested in what they had to eat. He did not seem to taste the food himself and no one, save Hugh, cared to say anything to him about its quality.
Now, he was finally able to think about what he had not wanted to think about all day. He had to think about what had happened last night when he had almost kissed Alais. If he had not heard Edmund cough quietly and turn in bed, he was sure that he would have continued and Alais would be ruined. He was not sure when Alais had become an object of desire, rather than a surrogate sister, but last night the truth of what Edmund had said was brought home to him. He had wanted Alais in the way a man wants a woman, not in the way a man keeps company with his sister. He knew that he did not love her. He had told her himself that he was no longer capable of loving. No, he was lusting after his father’s betrothed wife. It did not matter whether she was his father’s wife or not, it was wrong to lust after her in this way. It was clear where his duty lay. If he stayed, it would not be long before the gossip started. Alais would have a bad enough time of it with his father for a husband; Hugh had no wish to make things more difficult for her than they would already be. Fortunately, he had a reason for leaving her here and going to London. They would both be lost if he stayed. Even today they had found so many opportunities to be alone. He had no real duties here. Once he had completed his training with his father’s men at arms every morning, he would have nothing else to do save flirt with the ladies. No, it would be better for both of them if he went to London. When he returned Alais’ marriage to his father would be blessed and consummated. He did not linger over what it would mean for her marriage to be consummated. He knew what his father was capable of. His mother had tried to hide it from her children, but Hugh had overheard one of his mistresses talking in the kitchen when he was a boy. He had gone out into the yard and thrown up at the thought of his gentle mother enduring such things. Now it was Alais’ turn and there was nothing he could do to save her. Her only hope was that her husband would die soon and this was
no hope at all. Hugh’s father was the healthiest man he knew. He was never ill. He was also the luckiest. Many times in battle he had done things for which his life should have been forfeit, but he had survived.
No, Hugh’s only hope was to abandon Lady Alais to her fate. He would propose to Lady Katherine, marry her as soon as possible and take her to Hill where he would get an heir on her. Then he would go to France and fight and die.
Alais looked out over the hall. It was not what she had expected. This number of people should make much more noise, but they were very subdued, almost as if they were afraid to raise their voices. She did not want to continue to make the comparison with Leigh. She could not go back, so it was pointless, but Leigh was more cheerful, the food was better and the hall warmer. She missed her cousins laughing and telling jokes. The family here were sombre and the servants shuffled noiselessly around, suddenly appearing at her side with food and drink. There was little talk at the top table, except between Alais, Hugh and Katherine. They struck her as careful and guarded. For the first time, she realised that she would spend the rest of her life among people who did not immediately say what they were thinking. There would be secrets at Liss in a way there never had been at Leigh. She began to understand why Hugh and Edmund said so little and she determined to learn from them. No one here could know what had happened at Hill and on their journey. She hoped that Edmund would not even tell Joan.
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