Don't Hex with Texas

by Shanna Swendson

  “I still think you should—” Teddy began, but was interrupted when Mom shrieked.

  I said a silent prayer for sanity and patience before turning around to see what was happening now.

  What ever had made me think that life would be quieter and simpler back home? The newcomer turned out to be Gene Ward, the subject of Mom’s pharmacy gossip.

  “Hey, Teddy,” he said, hooking his thumbs in his belt loops. One of the loops immediately tore off.

  “Hey, Gene,” Teddy responded as he continued trying to settle Davy down. “Can we help you with something?”

  Gene had been in Teddy’s graduating class, which meant he must have been around thirty. Aside from clearer skin, a couple of fine lines around his eyes, and a hairline that had just started to recede, he looked like he’d been stuck in suspended animation since high school. In fact, he seemed to be wearing some of the same clothes he’d had then. He’d been something of a nerd—smart, but with next to no social skills. He might have been the first male under the age of sixty that Sherri didn’t throw herself at as soon as he came through the door.

  “My dad sent me in for some stuff,” he said with a shrug as he handed a list to Teddy. Even there, he was stuck in a time warp, acting like a resentful teenager running errands for his parents.

  Mom was still staring at him like she expected him to sprout horns, and he glanced warily at her a time or two while Teddy handed Davy back to his mother and went to put together Gene’s order.

  I decided that pulling Mom away from the situation was probably the smartest course of action. We didn’t want to face the fallout that would happen with Gene’s dad if she said or did something crazy.

  “Mom, I need your help with something in the office,” I said.

  She tore her gaze away from Gene. “Okay.” She sounded a little shaky, and far too meek.

  Once we were out of earshot from the front of the store, I asked, “What was going on with you out there? Was Gene the guy you saw in the square?”

  “I don’t know. I couldn’t see his face. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t wearing those shoes.”

  “Then why did you scream when you saw him? And why were you giving him that funny look?”

  “My nerves are a little on edge right now. He just startled me. And as for a funny look, have you ever seen a boy who deserves a funny look more? He’s Teddy’s age, and he’s still living with his parents, still doing nothing with his life, and going nowhere.” I declined to point out that I was only a few years younger, and I was still living with and working for my parents.

  “Well, you really gave us a shock. I think maybe you ought to go to the doctor, and I don’t want you driving until we figure it out.” I knew that the things she described were entirely possible, and they sounded an awful lot like the kinds of things my enemies liked to do. Come to think of it, my friends had done similar things when they tested my immunity in the first place. They’d made weirder and weirder things happen until I’d had no choice but to react so they could be sure I was seeing things that were magically hidden from normal people.

  The problem was that things like that didn’t happen here. In New York, you expected weird stuff, magical and otherwise, but I’d been assured by no less than Merlin himself that my hometown was practically a magic-free zone.

  Even if this was all caused by magic, I wasn’t allowed to let anyone else in on the secret, so there wasn’t much I could do about it. If I started agreeing with Mom, everyone else would think I was as crazy as she was. But someone needed to get to the bottom of this, and it was probably best to rule out the simplest explanations. That was the way Owen tended to approach problem solving.

  “Come on, Mom, I’ll take you to the doctor so we can be sure you’re okay.”

  “You need to take me to the beauty shop first. I’m only a little late for my appointment.”

  It was one of those situations where arguing would only cost me time and effort, so I decided to just go with it. Mom handed me her car keys, and we took her car to the town square, where the beauty shop was. Although the smell of permanent solution and hairspray usually made me sneeze, I hung around in the salon while Mom got her hair done so I could eavesdrop on the gossip. If anything at all had been happening on the square that morning, these women would be chattering about it. I noticed that Mom kept her mouth shut. She must have been tired of people treating her like she was crazy.

  Unfortunately, the topic of conversation in the salon had nothing to do with weird goings-on on the courthouse square. Instead, I was the star of the show. “Lois, you’re so lucky your little girl came back home,” one woman said as the stylist wrapped her hair in tinfoil.

  “I guess she didn’t find herself a husband when she was off in New York,” another one shouted from underneath a hair dryer hood.

  “We thought at Thanksgiving that she was getting close,” Mom said, “but that didn’t work out. It was a real shame, too. He was a lawyer, and he had a Mercedes.”

  “It wasn’t my idea to break up with him,” I muttered, then realized I’d admitted to being dumped, which wasn’t much better. I’d been the one to break things off with Owen, but as I’d never told anyone in my family about Owen in the first place, I had to keep my mouth shut about that.

  “Well, you know, some girls are just unlucky at love,” the stylist said, giving me a pitying look. I wasn’t entirely sure if she was pitying my sad state of romantic affairs or my hair, which needed a good cut. That was something I wasn’t likely to find here, so a ponytail was fine for the time being. It was certainly better than a big-hair bouffant or tight sausage curls, the two specialties of the house.

  Mom finally emerged with her very own bouffant, and I drove her to the doctor’s office a few blocks from the square. She was likely to get in with the doctor and then suddenly claim to be fine, so I insisted on accompanying her into the exam room. Dr. Charles had been my doctor when I was growing up, and I still couldn’t look at him without thinking of booster shots.

  “What seems to be the problem, Mrs. Chandler?” he asked, looking at us over the top of his reading glasses.

  “Oh, I’m just fine,” Mom said.

  I knew it. “She had a fainting spell a little while ago,” I said. “She passed out in the store and was out for several minutes. We thought it would be a good idea to have her checked out.”

  “Hmm, yes, I would think so.” He went about checking her blood pressure and pulse, listening to her heart and lungs, and all those other little doctor tests. “Your blood pressure’s a bit low,” he said, “but otherwise you seem to be okay. Do you have any idea what might have brought on the spell? Did you have some kind of emotional shock?”

  She looked at me, frowned, then looked back at the doctor. “I thought I saw something that gave me a bit of a start. Frank would say I let my imagination run away with me.”

  “Well, fainting after a shock happens more often in movies than in real life, but it does happen. I’d suggest taking it easy for a while. Put your feet up and make all those boys wait on you. Let me know right away if it happens again.”

  “I told you it wasn’t anything serious,” Mom said.

  “Hey, better safe than sorry,” I replied. “Thank you, Doctor.”

  “You were right to bring her in. It’s best not to take sudden unconsciousness lightly.”

  Although the doctor had told Mom to make the boys wait on her, I knew exactly who’d be stuck with that thankless job. I could do paperwork at home or at the store, so we stopped by the store on the way home to let everyone know what the doctor had said and to pick up some things for me to work on. At home, I got Mom settled into her bed with some hot tea and a few magazines, but she stopped me before I could leave her room.

  “You don’t really think I’m going crazy, do you, Katie?”

  I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “Not any crazier than usual.”

  “I swear, I did see all those things. It was almost like when we were in Ne
w York and it was so weird and wonderful. I just never expected to see anything like it here.”

  “Maybe that trip made you better at seeing unusual things, so you notice them more now.”

  She shook her head. “But then why didn’t I see these things until now?” With a nervous laugh, she added, “I wouldn’t be surprised if I am letting my imagination run wild. I mean, look at Mama. She’s not always entirely there, and I’m not sure she ever has been, what with all her talk about the old country and the wee folk, and all that. If I am crazy, I certainly come by it honestly. As they say, the nut doesn’t fall too far from the tree.”

  It occurred to me right then that my grandmother might be magically immune. Owen had said that the trait was genetic. It would certainly explain a lot about some of the wild tales she told. She really might have seen wee folk and fairies. “I guess I’m doomed, then,” I told my mother.

  “No, you’re my levelheaded one,” she said. “Who says the craziness is limited to women? It’ll be one of your brothers in your generation. You’re far too sane to take after your mother and grandmother.”

  If only you knew, I thought as I left her room.

  Sherri showed up in mid-afternoon, probably to avoid other work while also taking advantage of a kissing-up opportunity. I left her with Mom so I could head back into town. If Mom’s mysterious cloaked man had been going after money from the morning commuters at the courthouse, he’d surely be there for the afternoon rush, and I wanted to see it with my own eyes. Before I left the house, I went up to my bedroom and unlocked my jewelry box. I ignored the tinny song it played and the ballerina that twirled when I opened the lid while I retrieved the item I needed.

  Owen had given me the locket for Christmas, but it wasn’t the sentimental value I needed at the moment. Rather than being a significant piece of relationship jewelry, it was a magical tool. It amplified the sensation of magic in use so that I had more to go on than an ambiguous tingling sensation. I clasped it around my neck and tucked it under my T-shirt before taking Mom’s car downtown.

  I found a parking space at one corner of the courthouse that allowed me to watch two sides simultaneously. The only people I saw were ordinary county workers in suits or business-casual clothes. No statues moved, no one wore robes, and no one behaved at all oddly—other than me, of course. Sitting alone in a vehicle in front of the courthouse for no apparent reason wasn’t exactly a normal way to spend the afternoon.

  I was beginning to wish I’d stopped by the Dairy Queen for a malt on my way over when I saw something that made me do a double take. If I wasn’t mistaken, one of the Art Deco relief sculptures of a buffalo on the newest wing of the courthouse had moved its head. I blinked, trying to bring it into focus, but it went back to being just another sculpture. Staring at anything for too long after being out in the heat could make anyone think they were seeing things, I decided. My necklace hadn’t so much as trembled, so it probably wasn’t magic. Of course it wasn’t magic, I reminded myself. This was Cobb, not New York. We didn’t have magic here.

  I got out of Mom’s car to walk around, hoping the fresh air would clear my head. It was hard to tell what on the courthouse really belonged there and what might be new or unusual, considering what a mishmash of architectural styles it was. Different parts had been built in different eras, with the older parts remodeled in odd ways over the years, so that there were Gothic gargoyles perched on Art Deco arches. I remembered all the lectures from junior high art class when we’d taken field trips to sketch the courthouse. Too bad I didn’t still have those drawings, I thought. They’d have helped me be more sure of what I was seeing.

  At the far side of the courthouse, near the gazebo that was part of the Civil War memorial, I saw a figure that didn’t seem to belong. He wore a rough, hooded robe that made him look more like a Jedi Knight than like a wizard. Then again, I hadn’t ever seen any wizards wearing robes, except at a costume party. Even Merlin wore business suits these days. I hid behind a crepe myrtle bush to watch him.

  He danced around, waving his arms, and I thought I heard something that might have been chanting, though I was too far away to hear it clearly. He was certainly putting out more effort than I ever saw from the wizards I knew. They usually just waved a hand and muttered a few words to get what they wanted. My necklace hummed slightly against my chest, but it was perhaps the weakest response I’d ever noticed from it. After a while, the arms on the statue in front of the robed figure shivered, and the statue seemed to wake up. The robed figure then jumped up and down for joy. While he was jumping, the statue went back to its usual position and froze. I could hear his groan of frustration quite clearly when he noticed that.

  The clock in the courthouse tower chimed five, and soon all the county workers came spilling down the front steps of the courthouse. The robed figure turned to face the sidewalk and waved his arms vigorously. My necklace shivered ever so slightly. Nobody seemed to notice that there was anything unusual happening. Every so often, one of the workers would go glassy-eyed for a second, and then he’d put some money on the ground in front of the robed figure before heading down the sidewalk. A few steps later, the worker would stumble, look disoriented for a second, and then go on his way.

  I bit my tongue to keep myself from gasping out loud. I’d seen something like that once before, when Owen had tested one of Phelan Idris’s control spells.

  I wouldn’t have believed if I hadn’t seen it for myself, but it looked like the least magical place on earth now had a town wizard.

  My first impulse was to run at the wizard and tackle him to pull off his robes and uncover his identity, but I held back. His spells might not have been able to hurt me, but physical sticks and stones could break my bones. Not to mention the fact that assault and battery were considered crimes, and I was in the town square where both the county sheriff’s department and the city police department were housed. I didn’t think “but he was doing magic” would count as a valid excuse for an attack.

  And then I realized that spying on the guy the way I was might not be the best idea, either. The wizard was definitely veiling himself and his activities from nonmagical people, judging from the lack of reaction to him. I had no such protection. Anyone who walked past would see me lurking around the courthouse grounds for no apparent reason. I guessed I could have approached him to talk to him and find out what his intentions were, but in case he wasn’t one of the good guys, I didn’t want to expose myself as a magical immune. That was my secret weapon, my ace up the sleeve. I’d need to know more before I could take any action.

  A woman leaving the courthouse gave me a funny look, and I made a show of bending to examine a flowering bush. Then I smiled at her and said, “That new plant food we sold the county sure made the azaleas do well this year.” When she’d walked past, I turned back to see what the wizard was doing, but he was gone. I didn’t see a sign of him anywhere around the square. I somehow doubted he’d magically teleported away, given how weak his magic seemed to be, but he could have taken off his robes while my back was turned and blended into the flow of courthouse workers leaving for the day.

  I made a circuit of the square, pausing to look at various plants I passed along the way so I’d have a good cover story for my strange behavior. Teddy did that kind of thing on a regular basis, so no one should have found it particularly odd for me to do it. Sometimes there are benefits to coming from a family known for its share of oddities. Finally convinced that I’d let my quarry get away, I headed to Mom’s car so I could drive to the feed store.

  It proved to be empty of customers at closing time, but full of family. Even Dean was hanging around, leaning against the front counter. He had almost enough sweat beading on his forehead for me to imagine he might have done real work that afternoon. Mom and Sherri were the only ones not there. “Wow, did someone decide to throw a family reunion without letting me know?” I asked.

  “We were talking about your mother,” Dad said solemnly.

  “
Mom’s fine. She just got a little overexcited.”

  “It’s not the first time,” Molly said softly.

  “She’s acting like she did in New York, when she kept talking about seeing things,” Dad added.

  Of course she’d seen things in New York. She was magically immune and in a place full of magical people. “Well, New York can be weird,” I quipped. “You don’t really think she’s crazy, do you?”

  I looked around at the others, who all appeared deeply concerned. Even Beth was frowning, and she was usually the most optimistic one in the bunch. “We’re worried that she might be putting her health at risk,” Teddy said, putting an arm around his wife. “That fainting spell today wasn’t a good sign.”

  “So, what are you proposing we do?” I asked. “Put her away somewhere?”

  Dad shook his head. “No, not that, not yet. But it might be good for her to get some professional help.

  They could find out what’s wrong with her and do something to make her better.”

  The funny thing was, the treatment they’d give her probably really would make her better. That’s because antipsychotic medications tended to have a dampening effect on magical immunity. If they put Mom on drugs, she’d stop seeing things, one way or another. It would certainly make life easier for the family, but would it be good for Mom? With a possible magical war brewing, I liked the idea that magic couldn’t be used against my mother. Most of the danger I’d gotten into had been during times when my immunity had been altered. Plus, there were side effects to long-term use of drugs like that, and I didn’t like the idea of her taking them when she wasn’t really sick.

  “That still sounds a little extreme considering that she’s just had a few bouts of flightiness,” I insisted.

  “Heck, Granny’s been talking about the wee folk for years, and we haven’t drugged or committed her.”

  Beth crossed the room to take my hands in hers. “Katie, I know it’s hard to think this way about your mother, but we really do have to consider what’s best for her.”